Chapter 35: The Scent of (un-)needed Things.
Summary: The Winter Soldier Chapter- Sam's POV
Notes: Talk about PTSD - Sam meets the Avengers and learn more about the organisation and his new friends that he would ever dreamed about
The Scent of (un-)needed Things.
He knew it sounded weird and he kept himself from explaining it to others because somehow he still thought of it as something that made him stand out instead of blend in. The counsellor at the VA had made him talk in length about Riley's death and had noticed that what Sam remembered the most were not the sounds of the RPG, nor was it the screams of his partner falling down, he couldn't even describe what the landing sites had looked like after. No what he remembered were the smell of burned wood, explosives, gasoline, sweat, burned flesh. The counsellor told him he had to replace those pesky scents with new, more positives one, pushed him to buy new cologne, after shave, to find fragrance he would like and tie them to nice memories.
That's how Sam came into cooking, he liked it when his all house started to smell like cookies, bacon, salty chicken, fried onions, whatever he could get his hands on, at first it didn't even taste good but he didn't care, he was doing what was asked of him and the counsellor had been right it made him feel better. That's when he started to look into other things he could experience. Running around the National Mall pool had been a strange experience, usually at this time of year, some of the trees and flowers would start to bloom and it will fill his lunges with those delicious fragrances, but some days like the first morning he went, the rain had been falling all night and the over-smell of the fishy pool and disturbed ditch water was awful to his nose, those mornings were hard on him, or on anyone running there really, but it felt good anyway.
Well until Steve Rogers, Captain America in person, came and spoiled his fun. Okay so Cap didn't spoil anything, being ridiculed by a 90 years old soldier who run twice faster than him had actually been fun. The man didn't seem as out of place, as lost as the newspapers made him to be, he was actually fun, joked about his lack of speed, about the VA, thanked him for his service, it was nice messing with him. And the man had a really nice looking friend, the Black Widow, if he was to believe his military friend, the red head was hot, and snarky, he wouldn't mind extending the VA invite he had just given Captain America to the spy.
Coffee was one of the smells he preferred, he bought really expensive one that would fill the entire room of the VA, he didn't mind sharing, it seemed to sooth more than just himself to be surrounded by that familiar strong scent. Steve had come to visit, the man was reeking old women perfume, roses, lilies, pushed to their purest essences, mixed with retirement home scents, moth repellent. He looked sad, self-conscious, talked about giving up on his work, on his uniform, and Sam knew how that felt, knew how working for the VA instead of taking orders had helped him heal. But honestly the man just looked like he wanted to be somewhere else, like he missed someone, alive, vibrant someone more than he actually wished to leave SHIELD. That smile that the man harbored when Sam asked him what he would do if he wasn't Captain America anymore, that simple smile, appearing furtively on his lips was telling more than his words would ever be. The man from out of time had found someone to anchor him into this century and simply wished to be near her, though Sam didn't know him enough to comment on it.
He was almost certain he would never meet the Captain again, whatever decision the man would make, he only needed someone to talk to at that moment, he would go back to being a super-hero, with extraordinary friends not a simple retired soldier. Or at least he thought so until Steve and Natasha knocked on his back door, telling him he was the only one they could trust. He let them use his bathroom to clean up, while he made breakfast, needing the explosive, RPG, smell they were covered with to be washed away, covered with fried grease, fresh fruit, maybe waffles, they must eat a lot.
"I made breakfast. If you guys...eat that sort of thing." Sam told them once it was ready, both excited and dreading what will come out of this meal, but he didn't thought twice when he went to his office and took the 'Falcon' file out of his safe to give it to them, he might not know why but he would follow them, help them.
"I am really sorry for intruding." Steve started to say but Sam stopped him.
"Don't mind, just eat your damn breakfast and tell me who tried to kill 2 of Earth Mightiest Heroes." Sam said arching an eyebrow.
"I really wish the PR team would listen to Tony a little less." Steve groaned barely hiding a smile from them.
"I happen to like it, protect us from public Evil." Natasha said. "Or at least it was supposed to until Captain America became Public Enemy Number 1."
Somehow they trusted him enough to confine about what happened in New Jersey and what they had learned. So Hydra was real, somehow it had skipped history books to go straight to comics history making people believe it was only fantasy, a monster for Captain America to fight while soldiers were saving Europe from Nazis. Natasha started to decipher who could be responsible, of course they wouldn't have easy access to Pierce but with some help from someone who his guards would disregard they could get to Sitwell, apparently Cap wasn't a big fan of the man neither was the Spider, it didn't seem to be such a hardship to turn against him for them. But they would need his wings and surprisingly that wasn't so hard to get to either.
"Sam I thought you said three guarded doors?" Natasha growled on their coms.
"Three, four, does it really make a difference? I also said 'last time I saw them' it was months ago." Sam told her apagogically.
"Nope no difference only more guards with concussions, I don't know if Tony has enough money to burry this much trouble with Rhodey." She commented.
"Rhodey?" Sam inquired.
"Iron Patriot. War Machine whatever." Natasha joked. "Who even trained those guys? This is way too easy."
"Meaning I could have done it?" Steve asked, he had been left in the car, contrary to popular believes on a military bases full of beefed up soldiers he would still not be really discreet.
"We need them unconscious not armed Hon, keep your strength for the strike team." Natasha answered.
"Nat." Steve whined.
"Calm down Cap we talked about this, if everything was a mistake, a plot from Zola, you need to walk out clean, I don't mind taking a little off of what Tony owes me to know the truth." Natasha explained.
"You mind focusing on not getting caught?" Sam asked a little stressed out.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Natasha told him passing right in front of him smiling to the guards on the outside of the base.
"Okay, let's go then." Sam said rolling his eyes, this was going to be a crazy day.
He went back to their car and drove them to DC listening as Natasha and Steve bickered like brother and sister about his dating life, about life at the tower, about why no one told Steve about the strike team involvement with Ross. Well that was less bicker more anger, about someone in particular that should have been more protected and how they should have never let anyone not Avengers get on the upper level without a thorough background check.
Apparently the Earth Mightiest Heroes had someone they cared to protect locked up in that NY tower, but it's not like he didn't just jump head first into the cause they had no reason to tell him what was going on, they might trust him but they didn't know him. He guessed if they survived the day's plan maybe he'll get to meet her and learn what was so special about her, for now he was starting to get the idea that somehow the implacable spy didn't notice Cap getting twitchy every time they talked about that girl. Sam was pretty sure he had just found out who had Steve so torn between his duty to SHIELD and living in NY with the Avengers.
Working with them catching Sitwell to prevent him from crashing to the ground was fun, learning that Hydra intended to exterminate billions of people with the SHIELD's Hellicarriers made the day take a turn for the worst. They needed to stop this and it wouldn't be as fun as kidnapping a high ranking official and pushing him off buildings, there would be people protecting the carriers, hopefully they wouldn't have to fight, Sitwell would get them in, he would allow them to screw up Hydra's plan, and maybe Sam could cook Roast for dinner tonight.
"Hydra doesn't like leaks." Sitwell told them trying to keep them from going back to SHIELD.
"Why don't you try sticking a cork in it?" Sam witted back.
They knew Project insight was soon going to launch they had already had a talk about the other Avengers involvement but it would take too long, give Hydra time to notice Sitwell was missing, and Iron Man wasn't exactly prone to stealth.
But apparently Hydra wasn't going for stealth anymore either. The Winter Soldier, the man who had apparently been able to pursue Fury's car before killing the director of SHIELD and evade Steve's shield was taking his frustration out on them. Sitwell was dead, grabbed by a metal hand and sent to be crushed on the other drive lane. Sam couldn't drive anymore seeing as the Soldier took away the steering wheel from the car. Natasha tried to shoot him to no effect. Steve finally grabbed them getting them out of the car moments before it went flying and crashing. Sam watched as Steve was sent on to the streets below the bridge, the strike teams they didn't seem to care about him, didn't even looked for him afterward.
He used Natasha's attack on the Soldier to go to the car retrieve his pack from the trunk leaving it closer to the people currently shooting at his friends. The men were talking in Russian, but he didn't need long to get what they meant, he could only watch as the Soldier went after Natasha while the rest of the team started shooting at a bus that in all likelihood was hiding Steve at the moment. He killed one of the shooters and covered Steve while he took care of the others, finally telling the Captain to go after Natasha. He put on his wings and went to find them arriving just in time to get the Soldier away from Steve.
But it hadn't been enough the Strike Teams had caught up with them Steve was repeating "Bucky" again and again his face pale as if he had just seen a ghost and while Hydra was handcuffing them. Sam noticed that they only owed their survival to the TVnews helicopter flying over them. Now they were packed up in a van with 2 guards, Steve was still talking about his long lost friend turned Hydra asset, Natasha was bleeding and the over pressing smell of sweat, blood and fire gun powder on her clothes were a little too much for him, if they were not going to kill them there than he needed a distraction.
"We need to get a doctor here. We don't put pressure on that wound she's going to bleed out." Sam told the guards not that he thought they would really care, they were ready to kill her earlier after all but still.
The one guard on his left started to move pulling out his electric rod Sam put himself between the rod and Natasha automatically but the guard used it on the one on Steve's side instead of one of them, taking HER helmet off.
"That thing was squeezing my brain." She told them. Sam saw both Natasha and Steve relax though he had no idea why. "Who's this guy?" she asked pointing him.
"Sam Wilson, he is with us." Steve told her. "Sam, Maria Hill."
"That's all nice Captain but we need to get out of here." Maria told them getting a laser torch out of her belt cutting through their cuffs and the van getting them yet into another one.
"You know I was wondering what kind of idiots would get us in a van with Steve's shield and my wings, glad it was a brilliant plan instead." Sam said checking over his pack, they would need it, he might not know the plan for now but he knew Steve wasn't going to give up. He pulled out an emergency kit from behind the driver's seat when Maria asked him too and took care of making sure Natasha wouldn't bleed out on them until they get her proper medical attention.
"Thanks." Natasha simply told him, holding her hand over his for a while.
Sam would have liked to even think about flirting with her but really it wasn't the right time for that, later maybe though. He got distracted by the scent of woods after the rain, and Maria soon stopped the Van getting them in what looked like a hidden facility under a dam. There someone was finally trying to pay attention to Natasha's wound, although she'd have to wait a little more apparently there was someone else they should see first. They talked to Fury, who apparently had faked his death while a doctor treated Natasha.
"I have to call the tower." Steve said suddenly.
"Yeah I figured." Fury gestured toward Nat, and Sam watched as Steve hissed taking a step away, while Natasha stilled herself. "First time?" Fury asked them and they both nodded.
Someone brought them a phone, or rather a computer with encryption that would allow them to make a phone call.
"Wilson?" Fury asked before allowing them to call, it wasn't directed at Sam but rather at Steve and Natasha who looked at each other before nodding for him to make the call.
Glad to know you're still alive Director Fury.
A voice with an English accent answered them.
"I am staying dead JARVIS" Fury told the man.
Of course. What can I do for you?
"JARVIS how is Darcy?" Steve asked urgently almost shouting at the other man.
Distressed but alive.
The man seemed to be mad at Steve about something, even though it was only an undercurrent as if he wasn't supposed to be. Natasha and Steve both fall down to their chairs.
"Could you patch us up with everyone? Not on speakers." Steve asked and Sam was surprised.
You're on speakers everyone is in Miss Lewis' room.
"Figured." Fury said rolling his eyes.
"Tasha you owe me a couch!" Sam heard a feminine voice call, no doubt Miss Lewis, Natasha was the only woman on the Avengers team and who ever JARVIS was Sam doubted he would have patch them to Miss Potts.
"Whatever you want Darce." Natasha told to the woman surprising Sam by the kindness of her voice.
"In that case I rather you don't get shot anymore. Might not hurt but it's not a pleasant experience either." Darcy answered, and Sam was about to explode.
"What the hell?" Sam shouted out, he really had no idea of what was going on.
"Oh yeah, Sam Wilson, the avengers, the Avengers, Sam Wilson." Fury said amused.
I recorded your voice imprint for future reference Mister Wilson.
"Okay?" Sam said but he really wasn't sure any of it was okay.
"How about you tell us what the hell is going on?" He heard Stark ask. He had never met the man in person but heard enough speeches and recommendation recording on the Falcon's wings to recognize the voice anyway. "And who's flying around with my wings?"
"That would be me Mister Stark." Sam said quickly.
"Rhodey's going to be pissed at us FYI." Natasha added but they left it to that.
"Tony, Hydra is still alive." Steve said making everyone stop joking.
"No! That's not possible Howard would have known." Stark objected.
"They infiltrated SHIELD when they recruited scientists for Operation Paperclip." Natasha explained.
"Shit!" Stark swore and it was echoed by several other expectative on his side. They explained Zola, Pierce, and Sitwell getting more colorful words from the men at the Tower, then Bucky came out.
"Steve?" Darcy's voice called out but Steve ignored her and she didn't say anything else.
Fury explained how they could put an end to the Hellicarriers mission while everyone was listening.
"We're not salvaging anything. We're not bringing down the carriers, Nick, we're taking down SHIELD." Steve told the man, leading to a disagreement between the two men.
"He's right." Maria finally settled choosing Cap's side.
"Don't look at me. I do what he does just slower." Sam told Fury when he looked up at him.
"Well... Looks like you're giving the orders now, Captain." Fury finally admitted.
"Thought that was my job?" Darcy cut in.
"Darce it's really not the time." Steve told her sternly.
"Hey you don't get to talk to me like that, I am not a teenager you're all indulging by giving a title to play with." She shouted at him and even Maria took a step back from the table. "I got shot today, and I could have been out of the tower when it happened just because you two didn't thought you needed to tell us." She continued and Sam was more and more confused but when he looked around the table no one seemed ready to share intel on what she meant "You're going to destroy SHIELD, and I am all for it, go be a hero show the world who Hydra really is. But until further notice, Nick might not be the director of SHIELD anymore but I am still in charge of the Avengers so you're going to listen to me very carefully."
"Darce you really need to calm down, we don't have the space for Hulk to show up here." He heard a new voice say.
"Then get out." she yelled at him. "No wait Bruce stay, I just..." She cut herself off.
"Darce?" Steve asked.
"She's right, she might have a better perspective on this, and she has access to higher levels than we do." Natasha offered while they waited.
"Okay first, do you need the team?" Darcy asked calmly.
"Don't have time." Maria supplied.
"Okay." Darcy said and they waited a few more minutes in silence. "Nick, there is a woman on the council, send JARVIS her name, Tasha or Maria do you think one of you can take her place? I supposed Pierce invited them to launch Insight, even I got invited, it would have been weird not to."
"We have what we need to do it." Maria offered.
"You were supposed to be in DC?" Fury asked but everyone ignored him.
"Steve, some people working for SHIELD are good, find a way to tell them what's going on and they'll help" Steve nodded and although she couldn't see it Darcy kept going. "Sam? Don't know you but you'll cover them right?"
"I'll help all I can yes" He confirmed.
"Tasha remember what you did to those servers in Tokyo?" Darcy asked.
"We can't do that Darcy." Natasha protested.
"What happened in Tokyo?" Steve asked.
"Child trafficking, I stumbled upon it on a covered mission, send every Intel about their clients and the organization on the internet let the authorities catch them up." Natasha explained.
"Darcy!" Fury shouted suddenly the embodiment of his name.
"You don't have secrets anymore Nick, the second you take down the Hellicarrier every Hydra operatives will start leaking Intel to your enemies, saying SHIELD was the black sheep not them, it needs to be done." Darcy reasoned.
"But they are operatives in mission right now." Maria protested.
"Give us 2 Hours, Clint is going to contact everyone he is sure off, tell them to get the hell out of where ever they are, they'll do the same with theirs, we'll be quicker than Hydra, and if anyone disappear we'll have the civils' help to find them." She told them.
"I'll help Legolas, look into the files I already have, see who we can call or not." Stark added. "Call Rhodey tell him to get ready for the fall down."
"He can't help it can't be a military op." Steve protested.
"He won't." Tony confirmed.
"If anyone as anything they don't want to see on the internet JARVIS could take it off the servers as it's send in." Stark suggested.
"Take off anything about the serum, for me and Banner." Steve said. "And make sure Darcy isn't in any files." He added looking sternly at Fury who raised his hand in surrender.
"Leave everything about me, I don't want people to look into possible missing files." Natasha told them making everyone silent.
"Tasha?" a new voice called.
"It's okay Clint, it's my decision." And they stayed at that surprising Sam.
"Nick is dead. What about you Maria?" Darcy asked.
"I don't have anything to hide." Maria told them "Stark you're going to need to clean your house. A lot of your SI employees are ex SHIELD, scientists, security..."
"Shit." Stark said. "Need to call Happy and Pepper they need to land in Paris and not go to SI right away."
They heard a door being slammed and a long sigh.
"JARVIS activate Darcy's protocol no one goes in or out of the upper levels." Steve told the English man.
"I'll do it once we're not on speaker phone anymore JARVIS, just make sure Tony stays in for now." Darcy sighed.
Sam looked as Steve restrained himself from saying more, clearly wanting to talk more to Darcy but not in the middle of the room, they didn't have their phones anymore Hill had thrown them out on the way to the dam or he would have gave the Captain his.
"Any other instructions?" Steve asked almost amused.
"Just don't get yourself killed, I rather do that myself." Darcy told them ending the call.
"Well that was fun." Fury told them.
"We leave in 30 minutes." Steve told them before getting out of the room.
"So, he is not in charge of the Avengers?" Sam asked when the silence became too much for him to bare.
"She is." Fury answered and Natasha glared at him. "What? I am pretty sure we're about to get her grounded for the next 10 years, Stark is going to lock that Tower so tight she might not even see the sun for a while."
"That might be true." Natasha stopped to consider and Maria shook her head as Sam was about to ask 'what the hell' again.
Sam left them when they went further into the facility to find what they needed for the mission and joined Steve he needed to make sure the man wouldn't try to save Bucky instead of himself. But it went nowhere and he got it, he would do the same if he found out Riley was a POW but Bucky was violent and would not hesitate to kill them.
Bleach, disinfectant, meds, blood, all those scents that makes you feel like you're never going to be able to get them out of your skin, to scrub them off, makes you feel dirty even though they are meant to clean you, Sam hated hospitals, even military over guarded ones. After the Hellicarriers went down, after the last scrap of the Triskelion fell down in the Potomac, it took one more hour for them to find Steve, by then Colonel Rhodes had managed to make his way to DC helping them out. Steve had been sent in the same hospital with the same protection details the President would have, Rhodes orders.
"Sam did you even get checked out?" Natasha asked when she got passed the guards into Steve's room.
"I am not leaving him alone." Sam told her not even looking up from Steve.
"Don't worry about that, people are coming." Natasha said and Sam looked up at her seeing Stark talking to Rhodes out of the door.
"Fine." He said getting up padding Steve's thigh and following her out to a waiting physician.
"Hi! I am Betty Ross, if you don't mind I'll be the one checking your injuries from now on." She explained but it didn't really sound like a question, Sam took a quick look at Natasha who nodded for him to go on.
"Avengers' medical team." Natasha told him.
"I am not an…" Sam started but Natasha pushed him toward Dr Ross.
"Darcy' order." She said and disappeared. Sam still didn't know who Darcy was but he started to get why she was the one in charge. He knew enough to figure none of them would ever get checked out if not ordered to and having a trusted medical team helped.
"Hello! I'm Bruce Banner." A man said entering the exam room.
"I know who you are." Sam said getting back to looking at his own bruised ribs. "Is it even safe for you to be here?"
"As long as Darcy stays calm I'll make sure to get the Other Guy locked in." Bruce explained.
"Nice to know though I have a lot of questions about that…" Sam started and looked as Dr Ross started to grin at him shaking her head to tell him to keep it in for now. "What I meant was the Avengers, is it even safe for all of you to be here with Hydra out?"
"Did you really think we would have stayed in NY?" Bruce asked.
"No not really." Sam said getting lost in his mind trying to forget about what Dr Ross was doing.
"You can go back." Bruce told him. "Don't disturb!" He said before Sam walked out of the doors going back to Steve's room. He found Natasha out of it looking through the windows at the Captain.
"Just wait a little more." She told him making him take a look inside the room.
Steve was still asleep, unconscious, in his bed, but he wasn't alone, lying next to him careful not to lean too much on his body was a curvy little brunette, tears flowing on her cheeks, her left arm in a sling her right hand, only visible when Sam shifted, fingers intertwined with Steve's.
"Darcy?" Sam asked and Natasha only nodded.
But Natasha wasn't looking at the bed, she was looking at someone next to them on the chair Sam had pulled in there earlier. A man was looking over them, the side of the bed had been pulled down he had his head on his forearms resting on the mattress next to Steve's arm. Now that Sam went around Natasha he could see that the man wasn't resting his head next to Steve's arm, but on the Captain's hand, their fingers intertwined a few stray tears escaping every time he blinked to fall down on their joined hands. Sam pushed the door open, thinking it would startled the people inside and he would get a better picture of what was going on but they didn't move didn't even look up at the intruder, they only had eyes for Steve.
"Oh." Sam said not really sure of what was going on but sure that it was more than what he had thought, more than just Darcy that the captain had missed when they met at the VA a few days prior.
"Clint Sam, Sam Clint." Natasha introduced the man.
"Hawkeye, of course." Sam said with a nod hoping he would not disturb what was going on by getting the man to release Steve's hand to shake his.
"I prefer Clint or Barton when out of the field." Clint told him nodding back his hand staying on Steve's thumb rubbing on his wrist.
"She asleep?" Natasha asked pointing at the woman on the bed.
"Yeah, she hadn't slept since Tony received the call saying Cap was on the run from SHIELD." Clint explained. "She needed to make sure he was okay."
"Betty should have given her something." Natasha said getting on the woman's side to brush her hair away.
"We still don't know how it would affect any of us, Tasha." Clint protested.
"Someone mind telling me what's going on?" Sam asked once again. Everyone was acting like all of this discussion was perfectly normal.
"Darcy is a very special girl. You won't know more until you get to the Tower." He heard from behind him. He was so tired he hadn't even notice Stark getting in the room with them. "Barton, she can't stay on the bed she might pull on his stitches. You're place isn't safe. I booked several rooms at the closest hotel just get her there. Rhodey is going to stay with you."
Clint brushed a kiss on the Captain's hand getting around the bed he took the girl in his arms kissing her forehead.
"Hey Baby, let's get you in a bed before Betty decides to kill me okay?" he told her when she started to open her eyes but she nodded snuggling closer against him.
So many questions, Sam should make a list while he was waiting for Steve to wake up. All the Avengers slowly filled out of the room. Natasha needed the sleep too and some antibiotics, so Dr Ross dragged her into the next room, Stark spoke about packing up Barton's and Rogers' apartments and send everything to the tower asking if he wanted his house packed too. Sam refused politely but agreed grinning when he offered to update the wings.
"On your left." Sam heard tuning his head to take a look at Steve. The man was in bad shape but at least he was alive not sure he would still be if he wasn't, well, Captain America.
"Glad you're not dead." Sam told him smirking.
"Did you get checked out?" Steve asked, because of course it would be the first think he would ask.
"Natasha threaten me with Darcy's wrath if I didn't. Don't know if it was worth it but I always do what cute women tell me." Sam joked to see Steve's reaction and the man reddening cheek was telling enough.
"They came here?" Steve asked.
"Barton and Darcy stayed with you for a while but Stark ordered them away so you would sleep it off, Ross and Banner took care of Natasha and myself, they are busy packing your stuff away." Sam explained when Steve started to look around himself.
"You're coming back to NY with us." Steve ordered. In theory Sam would have objected to that but Hydra guards were in the loose and now they knew he was involved maybe a week or two at the tower while Steve healed would help them move on.
Sam stayed at the hospital until Steve was released, they went directly to the cemetery, where the lawn had just been freshly cut they put down flowers on Fury's grave even though the man was standing a few feet from them. Steve didn't even have to ask, Sam wouldn't let him loose himself into his quest for his best friend, a few weeks at the Tower with his loved ones and they would be on the road looking for a ghost. Natasha pushed Steve to date an ex SHIELD agent again and Sam shook his head.
"Why don't you just tell her?" Sam asked once she was far enough.
"A bet." Steve said shrugging.
"I really don't get how she missed it." Sam told them.
"She saw the same thing you did at the hospital, she just doesn't want to think about it I guess, she spent a lot of time thinking Clint and Darcy should be together I don't fit into her vision of them." Steve explained walking toward the car. "We're all going to be in NY for a while, she'll figure it out."
Notes:
Next chapter: House Rules...
To the Guest who asked for my advice: unguest yourself and you'll be able to talk to me all you want I am always free to help or just talk ;)