Chapter 37

The next hour was a blur of noise and colour. Lily vaguely remembered a group of Healers converging on the five of them as soon as they stepped foot in the reception area, and then whisking Remus and Sirius away. Dedalus and Seth stayed long enough for them to be sure that Remus and Sirius would be alright and then they left to return to the warehouse and help sort things out. This left Lily to collapse into one of the rickety wooden chairs in the waiting area.

Lily watched, without really paying attention, as more people started steadily pouring in through the door. The old welcome witch behind the desk looked shocked at the sudden increase in patients and began to direct them to the seats where they could wait until a Healer could see them. Lily recognised a few faces, only waving when she made eye contact with them and not going over to talk to them. At one point she saw Moody enter with one hand covering his nose and blood freely flowing from between his fingers, but he was quickly ushered up the staircase.

Around Lily, the little waiting room filled up and slowly began to empty again. It was only when someone sat down in the seat next to her did Lily break out of her reverie and look around herself properly.

Albus Dumbledore was looking at her over the top of his glasses.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Lily hadn't thought about how she was feeling, more just sitting and watching and allowing everything to wash over her. It took her a while to answer.

"Shaken," answered Lily. "Just… seeing Remus like that, and then Voldemort was there and I thought he was going to kill us and then we had to get out, I don't think I knew what I was doing." Lily took a deep breath. "What happened?"

"I was about to ask you the same question."

Lily told him how she and Sirius had managed to get into the warehouse and found out where Remus was. She gave him a brief summary of what had occurred in the basement before he had entered and then how they had got out.

When she finished, Dumbledore proceeded to tell her what had happened outside after she had Disapparated. The Death Eaters and werewolves that had managed to escape the building were being arrested, though some of them had been able to flee in the confusion. They were waiting for the Ministry to dispatch a team of magical building surveyors to ensure that it was safe to enter before they could rescue anyone had had been trapped inside, if they were still alive.

"What about Voldemort?" Lily asked, causing people nearby to wince.

"He fled," said Dumbledore simply. Lily felt her jaw drop.

"How? Wasn't there an anti-Disapparition jinx on the place?"

"He lifted it. It isn't a particularly hard jinx to remove, the method just isn't very well known. There's no reason why it should be well known when most people accept that the jinx is usually there for a reason."

"But you were duelling him. How did he have time to lift the jinx?"

Dumbledore smiled. "It's rather unfortunate that the ceiling was collapsing in on us by that point, giving me as many distractions as he."

The conversation dropped, then. Dumbledore sat with Lily for a while, neither of them speaking. It took Lily a few minutes to realise why she wasn't reassured by Dumbledore's presence.

"Where's Harry?" said Lily, suddenly remembering that she had left him with Dumbledore. He raised a hand to prevent Lily from panicking.

"He is fine. I left him with Augusta Longbottom, who was babysitting Neville too, as Frank and Alice were needed by the Aurors."

Lily nodded. Dumbledore stayed for a few more minutes before excusing himself, saying that he had important business to attend to.

Lily wasn't alone in the waiting room for long after Dumbledore had left. She barely had time to glance around the room when she saw Sirius descend the steps that led up to the wards, looking round for her.

She almost ran to where Sirius was stood. Lily hugged him.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"'Course I am." Lily pulled back to see that he was smiling. "Heard anything about Remus?"

"No." Lily glanced over her shoulder to where the welcome witch was sat, hoping that she'd choose that moment to tell them whether Remus was going to be okay or not.

"I need to talk to you." Sirius grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her into a deserted corridor.

"What's the matter?" Lily allowed herself to be dragged halfway down the corridor where no one would be able to hear them.

"What Voldemort said to Remus, it was something about you. What's going on?"

Lily felt as if her intestines had been filled with lead.

"Nothing's going on. I don't know what Voldemort was talking about."

Sirius considered this for a minute.

"He said –"

"Are you actually believing what Voldemort said? Have you got any reason to think he was telling the truth? He could have been lying just to make Remus feel terrible."

Somewhere inside her, Lily knew this was utter nonsense but she would prefer to talk to Remus before Sirius started asking questions that she half knew the answers to. Things were starting to fall into place about the whole situation: if what Voldemort had said was partly true, then Remus running away hadn't been an overreaction to kissing her…

"He was using Legilimency. He wouldn't have just come up with that if there hadn't been anything to make him think it." Sirius paused. "Was there anything? Just tell me whatever I've missed, it'll be a lot easier."

Lily knew that there was no point lying to Sirius now. "He kissed me, after you'd passed out on his birthday."

Sirius didn't speak. He seemed to be processing what Lily had told him.

Suddenly, he started off down the corridor back towards the waiting room and where the stairs were that led to the upper floors.

"Sirius, come back!" Lily tried to grab at his arm but he waved her off. She followed him and eventually managed to grab hold of him when he reached the stairs.

"What the hell was he thinking?" Sirius snarled at her when she stopped him from rampaging up the staircase. "He was one of James' best friends – you married – you don't do that, you don't just start getting it on with someone as soon as their husband dies – Lily, let me go!"

"No," Lily said standing her ground. "Calm down. You don't know what was going through his head, he was drunk, which happens to be partly your fault because you kept filling his glass even if he didn't want any more. And how many people have you kissed when you were drunk? At least give him the chance to explain himself before you go attacking him."

"What's he got to explain? I never tried to kiss you, or any of Remus' girlfriends, or Peter's, even if I was drunk. It's something you don't do."

Lily didn't have a counter argument for that and Sirius sensed it. He tried to pull away from her but Lily tightened her fingers around his arm.

"They'll never let you up there if you look ready for a fight, and they might still be working on him."

Sirius looked as if he would have liked to punch her, but he didn't. Instead, he stormed over to the desk where the welcome witch sat and Lily followed him.

"Do you know when we'll be able to visit Remus Lupin? He was brought in this afternoon," Sirius asked. The woman ignored his angry tone and calmly started flicking through some papers on the desk.

"Visiting hours for the ward he's in are two 'til four and then six 'til seven, but there's a note on his file requesting no visitors today. Sorry." Lily thought she didn't sound particularly sorry, but that might have been because Sirius looked ready to throttle someone. "You'll have to come back tomorrow and see if they're allowing visitors."

As the welcome witch suggested, Lily and Sirius returned the next day, to find out that they still weren't allowed to see Remus. Sirius insisted on going the day after too, even though Lily told him that they'd probably want him to rest the day after the full moon, and she was proved right. It was on the third day of Lily and Sirius, this time taking Harry with them as there was no one who could babysit, going to see if they were allowing Remus any visitors that they were successful.

Not much had happened in the two intermittent days. The werewolf attack on the Ministry had not taken place, as a large number of the werewolves had been arrested. More Death Eaters had managed to get away, but the Aurors had been able to make a few arrests. They were still working on pulling bodies out of the warehouse, having to do it slowly because it appeared that there had been many magical additions to the building, such as secret passageways, that may have become unstable during the attack.

A Healer showed them up to the fourth floor, explaining that Remus was in a very delicate state and that they would only let them stay if they didn't cause him any stress. Lily felt like turning around right then and forcing Sirius to leave, but she gave him the benefit of the doubt – after a few days of thinking about it she hoped that he wouldn't start shouting at Remus.

They reached a corridor that had many doors leading off it. A few doors along, the Healer that Lily and Sirius had been following stopped and knocked lightly on the nearest one before opening it and sticking her head through.

"Mr Lupin? You've got some visitors."

If Remus replied then Lily didn't hear it. The Healer opened the door wider to allow Lily and Sirius to pass through and then shut it, giving them some privacy.

Remus was lying in the hospital bed with his back to the door so no one could see his face. Lily could, however, see one of his hands that lay on top of the duvet, which was pulled right up to his eyes. This hand had three long claw marks along it that disappeared beneath the sleeve of the pale green hospital pyjamas.

Lily sat down in the chair on the side of the bed that Remus wasn't facing towards; it was obvious to her that he didn't want them to see his injuries as much as possible. Sirius stayed standing near the door with his arms folded.

"How are you feeling, Remus?" Lily asked quietly. Remus stirred somewhat but didn't turn to look at them.

"Terrible," he grumbled, his voice barely audible. A snort came from by the door and Lily threw Sirius a dark look while holding onto Harry as he tried to climb onto Remus' bed.

"Is that Sirius?" said Remus.

Lily waited for Sirius to answer. He didn't, so Lily spoke for him.

"Yes, it is. I brought Harry as well."

"How did you get Sirius to stop talking? It would have been useful to know it was possible." Lily smiled slightly; if he was making jokes then he musn't be too badly injured, or was putting on a brave face for them.

"I was shocked into silence when I found out that this guy I know thought it would be a good idea to kiss his best friend's widow," Sirius said.

"Sirius!"

"What? You told me to give him a chance to explain himself so I'm giving it to him."

"He's just spent who knows how long being tortured, he can barely talk."

"Yet he manages to get it on with you when he's too drunk to speak properly."

"Aren't you supposed to be at least glad that he's still alive? You were as worried as me last week."

"Yeah, well… that was then." Sirius looked around the small room, a murderous look on his face. "And I am glad he's alive, otherwise I'd have no one to be angry at."

"For Merlin's sake, Sirius! What's your problem?"

"My problem? I'm not the one –"

"You sound like a broken record. If you're just going to shout, why didn't you go home when the Healer said we weren't supposed to stress Remus out?"

"I don't know. I don't know why I even bothered coming." Sirius spoke with a strange sort of finality in his voice, and – after glaring at Remus – walked out.

Lily sat seething for a few minutes. She really had no idea why Sirius was reacting the way he was; yes, Remus had kissed her while he was drunk, and from what Voldemort had said it seemed as if Remus' feelings towards her weren't entirely platonic, but that wasn't Sirius' business.

Remus, who hadn't spoken the entire time Lily and Sirius had been arguing, said quietly, "You told him."

Lily sighed.

"I had to. After what Voldemort said, he guessed that something was up."

Remus was silent for a while. He was still facing the opposite wall and didn't look as if he was about to move.

"What did Voldemort say?"

"You don't remember?"

"I don't remember much before waking up and seeing a bunch of Healers with their wands out and pouring potions down my throat."

"Voldemort was trying to make you tell him where Harry was. He thought you'd tell him if he said he'd give you whatever you wanted, when you didn't say he used Legilimency… He said something about wanting to be a family with me and Harry," Lily finished quietly.

"I don't – well, I never thought that far ahead."

"I thought not. I thought Voldemort might have stretched the truth," Lily said, then added, "You know, it's really annoying talking to the back of your head."

"I don't want to scare Harry."

"He'll manage. You can't look that bad."

Remus didn't move at first, and when he did roll over so he was facing Lily, she had to suppress a gasp.

Most of the dark purple bruises on his face had faded to yellow, which, although it meant that they were healing, made him look worse than he was. One eye was swollen shut and his nose, despite being healed, looked like it had been broken. Newer cuts had joined the red ones on his face that had dulled while he had been in the hospital.

Lily was shocked, again, at how bad he looked. She tried to remember if he'd looked this rough when they had rescued him, but she could only pull up a vague memory – she had obviously not registered the full extent of his injuries in their hurry to get him out. The more recent wounds must have been acquired at the full moon.

"You said you were going to be careful."

Remus winced. "I know. I'm sorry."

"How long were you there for?" asked Lily, still struck by the state of Remus' injuries.

"I don't know. Too long." His one open eye was starting to droop.

"You're tired, I should go before the Healers try to strangle me."

"I'm fine, you can stay," Remus mumbled into the pillow. Lily smiled at this, until she remembered who it reminded her of, and the smile fell from her face.

"I'll visit again sometime," Lily said, standing up. "And I'll try to talk to Sirius." She squeezed Remus' hand that lay on top of the duvet and he whispered something incoherent as she left.

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