Summary: Think about it. What was Seph like prior to Nibelheim? Did he ever have sick days, hangovers, telemarketers that would not leave him alone? Well, you can bet your ugly f-king boots he did! And so this fic, which will eventually become a series of oneshots/drabbles, has come into being. Proof that Sephiroth is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, as human as you and I!

Disclaimer: Lemme check real quick. Hmmm... Nope. I still don't own Final Fantasy VII or Sephiroth. He visits me from time to time, but I don't own him. Truth be told, I don't think Square Enix really does either. They just say they do.

Queen's Quornor: I must make apologies to String-Home of Tolea; somehow, I managed to miss her request to be put into the fic. I don't know how I missed it, but I did and I am sorry. I hope she doesn't mind this, but here are her exact specifications: "Hey, could I be in one? I am a rough and tumble girl with dark, darker purple hair(that CANNOT be tamed!)dark, caribbean skin, and golden hazel eyes. I work with electronics, and have a weakness for good adventure novels,my DS, and canines.I love music, but I am very shy about my voice. I love japanese music(which would be wutaian in ff7), and I listen to pop, rock, and metal of the japanese variety. I also listen to funny music, like the emo kid song, or "if you were gay" from Avenue Q.I would most likly
1) be a friend of Zacks( do not add "with benifits)
2)working for Shinra, in tha actual working department
3)or walking around in the city with men's clothes, grease all over me, and a huge wrench.

She also mentioned in a later review that she resembled Dark from DNAngel. Anyway, it is time I made amends! So here you are, String, under an alias and working for Shinra in the appropriate department. Well actually, it was either this or the computer department. And the coin-flip got this one. Will you be a reacurring character, like Masai or the secretaries? We shall see... If the readers like you, that is. And yes, I am jumping around the timeline here. It's intentional.

Cousin!

Sephiroth was filling out the usual mountain of paperwork when he suddenly caught a whiff of gasoline and engine-grease, followed soon after by the lyrical tune of "The Internet is for Porn." What the hell is Zack doing now? he wondered, recognizing one of the voices serenading in the hallway.

Moments later, he had an answer. Zack bounced into his office with a wide smile on his face, followed at a more sedate pace by a dark-skinned woman in grease-smeared, denim overalls, a toolbelt fastened around her slim hips and her purple hair tied back in a rough ponytail. The scent of jet fuel was suddenly twice as strong as before, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where it was coming from. Folding his hands and ignoring the fumes wafting from the woman's overalls, Sephiroth leveled a Look at his second-in-command. "Who is this, Zackary?"

"Seph, I want you to meet my cousin Truhlla. I just found out that she's joined Shinra as an airship mechanic. Isn't that great?"

Truhlla was looking at the silver-haired man with unreadable eyes, measuring him even as he sat behind his desk to find out if he could be trusted. Sephiroth returned that gaze in full measure, unwilling to relinquish his intimidating posture just because the woman wasn't impressed. Zack looked between them, his smile tight and forced.

"C'mon, Truhlla. You can trust him," he said through his teeth, quietly.

At last, the mechanic relaxed her stance and approached the desk, offering her hand in greeting. "Hello, General. I am Truhlla Moresson, assistant to Cid Highwind."

"If you are the esteemed captain's assistant, then what are you doing here at Shinra? Aren't you supposed to be working at the launch site?" he inquired, taking her hand and shaking it.

"I came back with one of the trucks to deliver a defective section of the fuel tank. Until the section is replaced with a new one and strapped into place, I have some free time."

"I met her in the mess hall," Zack butted in. "I had no idea she was working for Shinra too. But it was a nice surprise. I haven't seen Truhlla since I was twelve and her parents moved out of Gongaga."

"And then you decided to bring her up to meet me."

"Yep. She was my best friend when I was little, so I decided to let her meet my adult best friend." He beamed at the bemused General. "There's even a chance she might be going with us on that peace-keeping mission in Wutai next week."

"The Highwind is to be entrusted to my care. She's the Captain's baby, and I'm the only one he trusts to mess around with her engines." Truhlla took a wrench from her belt and flipped it into the air, catching it easily. "So if that is the ship you get assigned to, you'll be dealing with me."

"Well, rest assured that we won't be touching the Highwind's engines. We will be too busy preparing to deal with the rebels," Sephiroth reassured her, taking up his pen and pulling another paper to him. "It was nice meeting you, Truhlla. Now if you will excuse me, I have some paperwork that urgently needs finishing."

"Likewise, I'm sure." Truhlla started to turn and leave the office, but then a Third Class SOLDIER came running into the room, slamming into the mechanic and bowling her to the ground before Zack could do anything. As she fell, the wrench went flying out of her hand.

Directly for Sephiroth's face.

He watched it flip end-over-end, frozen in place, almost in slow-motion. He only had time to mutter "Shit" before impact.

Then he was on the ground, his chair having fallen over backwards, carrying him with it. The wrench had bounced off his skull to continue on its way through the window behind him, and was currently plummeting to the ground outside. Idly, he wondered if someone was going to get killed when it made touchdown. Then he was somewhat distracted by the splitting pain that suddenly erupted in his head. His hands flew to his face, and he let out an ear-splitting shout of pain.

Sure, he'd had worse wounds. But he'd also never been smacked in the face by a large, airship-issue wrench before.

"Gods, Seph! Are you all right?" he heard Zack yell. It sounded like the younger man was running over to him.

"Oh gods! I'm so sorry!" the Third Class apologized.

"Get off me, you idiot!" Truhlla shouted. "Let me see him!"

Stong, gentle hands pried his hands away from his face, and Zack's visage came into view. "Oh man... C'mon, Seph. We gotta get you to the hospital level."

"General, I am so sorry! If that idiot had just watched where he was going..."

"Well, if this broad hadn't been standing there..."

"Will you two shut up? We have to get him to a doctor, now! Cuz, will you help me? Private Tompson, return to your unit. I'll be seeing you later, with an appropriate punishment in mind."

Through the blood that was beginning to cloud his vision, Sephiroth saw the SOLDIER pale, then race out the door. Zack got under one of his arms, Truhlla under the other. Both grabbed the opposite side of his belt, under his coat, and hauled him up. Before he blacked out, he felt them start dragging him out of the office.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

A few hours later, Zack was holding a potion-soaked gauze pad against his forehead and the bridge of his nose, and he had strict orders to not move his head or upper body under any circumstances until his wound was healed, or he would black out again. Truhlla was sitting beside the exam table, her hands clasped tightly between her knees.

"I am so sorry, General," she said for the fifth time.

He waved her off. "It was an accident, Truhlla. You couldn't have helped it."

"I still feel guilty, though."

"Would you have preferred to whang me in the face with a wrench, cuz?" Zack asked, lifted the pad to check the wound. He frowned and put it back down a moment later.

She smirked. "Actually, I've done that before. But it wasn't an accident, that time."

"Oh yeah. That was the time I accidentaly destroyed your go-cart, wasn't it?"

"That was no accident, either. You wired dynamite to it, and blew it up!"

"Where's your proof, huh? There's no proof I did that! The gas tank exploded!"

She gave him a Look. "I found the wires, cuz. And a witness."

Zack stuck his tongue out at her, then removed the pad again, changing it with a fresh one. Sephiroth suddenly chuckled, recieving two quizzical looks in return.

"What's so funny, Seph?" the black-haired man asked.

"I have found unequivocal evidence that you two are definately family, that's all."

"And what would this evidence be?" Truhlla inquired, a suspicious note in her voice.

"You both certainly know how to make one hell of a first impression."