My Life: John and Amanda's Day In
"Bye Momma, we're heading out!" Izzy called, waving as she headed out the door with her beloved friend, Zep Hindle.
"Bye Iz, stay safe! Don't hit anybody unless it's Hoffman!" Amanda called back. Zep sniggered and shut the door. Moments later, the car could be heard slowly but surely pulling out from the garage and down the driveway.
John popped out from another room. "Are they gone?" He asked, still holding a few nuts and bolts in his hands from game-making.
Amanda threw her hands up in the air dramatically and beamed. "We have the whole house to ourselves!" She cheered. John extended his arms as Amanda ran and threw herself into them. He spun her around a few times before setting her down on the ground.
"Hoffman working over time, Zep taking Izzy out driving, nobody stopping in to visit, this is the best day ever!" John set his things down on the counter and walked over to the sink in the kitchen to wash the oil off of his hands. "Oh, and sorry, I got a little on your jacket," he added.
Amanda twirled around a few times like a dog chasing its tail, trying to see it. "Eh, it's okay. This is kind of old anyway." She stopped and put her hands on her hips. "So what do you want to do?"
"I dunno, what do you wanna do?" John said teasingly, reaching over and tickling his wife. "In all seriousness, we could watch a movie, order some pizza, and maybe we could..." He trailed off, grinning seductively and Amanda winked back at him. "Okay, so if that's the plan, I guess I'll get on that pizza!" John grabbed the home phone in a smooth motion and dialed the number. Grinning from his good fortune, he spoke suavely. "Yes, can I order a large pizza, half pepperoni, a quarter cheese, and a quarter mushroom and olive?" John knew his family's preferences and knew that they would want a fair share of pizza later.
"...Mr. Kramer?" The voice on the other end asked.
"How did you know my..." John began to trail off before he realized who it was. "Rocky Strahm? Is that you?"
"Yeah! Hey! My parents are looking for a dinner rematch, how does tonight sound? My mom made a great casserole," Rocky added.
"That sounds, er, lovely," John replied, trying to hide his sarcasm, "but I'm afraid we already have dinner plans for-"
"Oh, it's no trouble at all! We'll stop by in about an hour when I get off of work, okay? And your pizza will be there in about fifteen minutes." With a click, Rocky hung up. John was left standing there with a dumbfounded expression on his face. Hadn't he said no? Some people don't understand the sanctity of a home.
"What was that all about?" Amanda asked. While John was ordering the pizza, she had gone upstairs and changed into a nicer outfit.
"We just got some unexpected dinner guests." As John said that, the door slammed closed in the mud room. The two froze. "Oh no," The two said in near unison.
"I'M HOOOOOOOOOOME!" Hoffman bellowed as he strode into the living room. "Hey buddies, how are things going?"
"So much for our quiet date night," Amanda muttered under her breath. Hoffman quickly grabbed her and put her into a headlock.
"It's okay, I like to think I'm decent company! I picked up groceries too!" He dashed to the kitchen and pointed dramatically at the bags. He opened one up and began to dig through it. "I got milk, watermelon, corn on the cob, cookies, canned corn, cookies, Hello Kitty fruit snacks, more canned corn, muffins..." Hoffman picked a blueberry one from the bag and took a happy chomp out of it, flashing a blue-stained grin to the couple immediately afterwards.
"Look, Hoffman, we love you and all, but could you please just-" John tried to usher him out of the house when the doorbell rang. "Goddammit, what now?" He opened the door to find Strahm, Perez, and Rocky all standing on the doorstep.
"Pastrahmi!" Hoffman shouted, throwing his muffin up in the air without thinking. He ran full speed towards Strahm and crushed him, no pun intended, in a big hug. "I missed you so so so much!" Suddenly, he looked up. "If this is a dinner party, I should call my bunnies!"
"Your bunnies?" Perez asked, taking her shoes off by the door.
"Amy and Allana! Not real bunnies. I should get real bunnies, though. And I could name them after my human-bunnies!"
Perez frowned and crossed her arms. "I don't think they'd take too kindly to being called your bunnies."
"Oh no no no no, they picked the name!" Hoffman insisted. "They're the Hoffy Bunnies! They wanted to be the Hoffy Bitches, but Izzy suggested a more feminist friendly name, whatever that means."
"Speaking of Izzy, there she is!" Rocky, holding the pizza, used his free hand to point at Izzy who was clearly trying to sneak around the chaos. She cringed at everyone turning their gaze towards her and Zep, behind her, swore under his breath.
"Iz!" Hoffman shouted gleefully, releasing Strahm. Fortunately for Izzy, the group failed to point out her messed-up hair, her poorly adjusted dress, and the fact that Zep was putting his jacket on, not taking it off. "It's definitely not a party without you."
Izzy sighed, and brushed a hand through her hair. "Well, I suppose not. Let me go to the bathroom first, then I'll come and set the table."
John was still completely dumbfounded as Hoffman pulled out his phone and dialed up Amy and Allana. Within ten minutes, the whole gang was sitting at the dining room table, eating pizza and corn. He turned to Amanda, who was sitting at his left. "How in the world did this happen to us? I've appreciated my life, yet I end up with this!"
Izzy jumped slightly in her seat and yelped. All eyes turned to her. She turned a bright red and shook her head. "Oh, uh, nothing," She stammered. As everyone looked away, Izzy shot a dirty glare at Zep, who chuckled into his hand.
Amy and Allana were biting shapes into their pizza, turning it into a contest with Hoffman as the judge. Strahm and Perez were trying to drag Amanda into a conversation about their jobs, and Izzy was getting into a silverware fight with Zep. John couldn't help mumbling to himself yet again about working on appreciating his life better so he wouldn't end up in situations like these.