"It's nice." Tony said as he helped Bruce sort through his things.
He had reached the designated number of days without an incident and Bruce was now being moved into a far less secure room. It looked exactly like Tony's, small and plain, but without a tv or even a small pile of dirty clothes laying in the corners. However, the room was isolated, a bit of a ways away from all other people and work going on in the building.
"It's okay. I miss my apartment though. Hopefully Betty hasn't gone through my files. She says I'm messy, but I have a system." Bruce said as he placed a small stack of books into a corner.
"They were pretty messy when Rhodey and I went through them." Tony muttered. He smiled as Bruce sighed loudly.
"That's different. Those were my office files, my home files are all perfectly organized." Bruce said.
Bruce starts humming lightly as he walked across the room to look out the window. It's a different view than Tony's. If he looks out the window all he can see is a large building just across the street and just a few feet on either side of it. Outside Bruce's window is just a large view of the city, open and lively.
"Just a little while longer and they'll let me go." Bruce said quietly. Tony nodded even though no one was looking towards him. "What should I do when I'm free?"
Bruce turned back to him, a hesitant smile on his face. Tony shrugged. "I don't know. You're asking the wrong person."
An awkward silence fell between them. Neither of them seemed to talk much anymore. Bruce always went strangely quiet whenever he started to talk about how his life was and Tony was too busy trying to ignore most of his feelings to even try to maintain a normal conversation. It probably wasn't healthy, but Tony had already talked about a few things with Bruce and he still wasn't entirely sure what was and was not acceptable topics for discussion. He didn't know what he was allowed to talk about.
"Where did you get so much stuff?" Tony asked. "I don't think you've had much opportunity to go out and buy it all." He looked up quickly, waiting for Bruce's nod of permission, before going through one of the boxes of stuff brought up from his cell.
"Nah, Betty's been bringing me things every few days when she comes to visit." Bruce said.
He walked over to where Tony sat on the floor and took everything handed to him. It was just more books, newspapers, and magazines. Tony didn't bother trying to read them, he just picked them up out of the box and handed them to Bruce to be put away.
He paused for just a second when he noticed several of the papers torn to pieces, whole articles ripped away violently. Tony raised an eyebrow curiously as he handed them up to Bruce, who took one look at them and threw them in the nearest trash can.
"I keep forgetting to throw those away. It's nothing. Nothing important, just some issues with Betty's dad." He muttered, taking another stack of magazines and putting them on the bedside table he had carried up. Tony's gaze lingered on the newspapers for a moment before he turned back towards his work. It wasn't his business to question anything.
The box was almost empty and they were almost done moving Bruce's things into his new room when Tony saw the newspapers at the bottom of the box. They had his face on them. Technically, most of them had a blurred picture of him on the few times he had gone outside right next to old photos of him as a young kid.
He looked like a happy kid, smiling and wide-eyed as he looked off to something just out of view. That compared to the grainy close up of how he looked now was a bit disturbing. From what he could make out from the more recent photo of himself, he still did look a lot like that little boy. The eye shape was still the same and the hair still had the same messy, dark curls.
He looked sadder though, more run down. His shoulders were more hunched, his mouth was turned down at the edges, and he looked a bit thinner than average. Tony wasn't entirely sure what he looked like now, several weeks after this photo was taken, but he certainly hoped he looked better.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Bruce asked. Tony looked up to see the man standing over him with a soft frown on his face. Tony shook his head. "Are you sure?"
"There is nothing to talk about." He said.
Bruce sighed and sat down next to him on the floor. "I keep telling Betty to stop bringing me newspapers. I don't want to hear about how the army thinks the creature that attacked MIT is a national threat and needs to be hunted down because I'm controlling it." He said slowly. Tony frowned as he spoke. He didn't know the army was threatening Bruce, he didn't know what to say. "I also don't want to read about how one of my students, my friends, has become a public spectacle and another means of entertainment when none of them know what's going on."
"No one knows what's going on." Tony said as he looked away from Bruce and back down at the two photos on the paper.
Bruce shrugged. "You know. You can tell me if you want." He said. "I may not be much help but I'll listen and if you want to keep it all a secret then I will."
Tony laughed, looking up at the camera in the corner. Bruce may not repeat whatever Tony tells him but it won't stay a secret for long. Bruce followed his gaze until his eyes landed on the camera as well, his posture visibly tensing as he let out a low shrug.
"If I asked, do you think they'd let me take the camera out of my room?" Tony asked quietly. He wasn't sure how sensitive the microphones on the camera were, agents always came in to stop him before he got a close enough look, but maybe if he whispered they wouldn't hear.
"I don't know, but if they do let me know. I don't like the cameras either." Bruce said as he turned his attention back to Tony. "Really, if something's bothering you, I'll listen."
"I'm not sure what I can talk about." Tony said, not taking his eyes off the camera. "I don't know what's allowed to be discussed, I don't know what's appropriate to be discussed, and I honestly don't understand anything long enough to be able to actually talk about it. Nothing makes sense."
Bruce was silent while Tony talked and continued to be silent a few minutes after he stopped. He was working his jaw around in tiny circles when Tony did finally glance over to him, as if he was struggling with finding the right words to say.
"You can talk about anything. Nothing is taboo, it's all on the table. Even if it doesn't make sense I'll listen, your feelings are important." Bruce said, nodding slowly. He must have been satisfied with how it came out, even though it only made Tony more confused.
A lot of things were taboo, there were a whole list of things he had learn not to discuss because no conversation was worth the consequences. Of all the things that had changed drastically, this was one of the few that Tony knew would stay the same. Bruce may believe what he's saying, may truly not think there won't be a single thing that Tony brings up that won't make him upset, but once that line is crossed he'll change his mind.
"It's okay, Tony." Bruce encouraged. "It's good for you to talk about things. If not with me then please talk to someone."
Tony took a deep breath. He could do it, he could talk about the little things and everything will be fine. Dozens of topics flooded his mind, the reasons he doesn't like to turn off the lights, the fear that he would one day have to go back to Mesman, the fear that he'll never see Lotte again, the discomfort he feels as he keeps eating every few hours even though it's long past the time he would decide to stop for a little while, but Tony couldn't find the strength or patience to hold on to any of those. Bruce was waiting for him to say something, so Tony looked for a problem he was having that was probably the easiest to deal with.
"I don't know what to do about Howard." Tony said quickly. That was it, the default discussion he seemed to be having with everyone. "He's being nice, I don't like it. It's hard to hate a man who keeps trying to be nice to you."
Bruce shrugged. "Why are you angry with him?"
"He never came for me. He just left me out there." Tony said quickly. He knew those words by heart, he had repeated them to himself over and over the past few weeks. "I waited for him."
"He did look though." Bruce said, reaching forward slowly to lay his hand on Tony's shoulder. "I remember, it was all over the news. Howard spent millions of dollars to look for you and the search went on for years. Then after a while he returned to his company and focused on his work but from what I heard he did keep the search for you funded."
"So, what? I'm supposed to forgive him because he didn't find me?" Tony asked. "I'm mad at him because he didn't find me."
"I know he didn't find you, I know how much that must have hurt you over the years, but he did look. Not finding you certainly wasn't because he didn't look hard enough, it was probably because you couldn't be found." Bruce said, giving Tony's shoulder a light, reassuring squeeze. "You're mad at him for something he couldn't control."
"You're on his side." Tony muttered.
"I'm on your side." Bruce said quickly. "I just don't want you to distance yourself from the only family you have left."
Tony frowned and looked away as his gaze dropped down to his palms, looking at his hands was becoming a habit and he had no idea why nor did he care. He took a slow, deep breath as he thought. Bruce made sense, he hated that Bruce made so much sense because Tony wanted to stay angry.
Howard left him, he and Maria went on some trip and left him at home, alone and vulnerable. Sure, he had his nannies and he had Jarvis, but they all slept soundly as Tony was dragged from the house and taken away forever, then sold away like an object they had no use for. He was property, Mesman owned him, and Howard had never come for him.
"You think I should forgive him?" Tony asked.
"I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable and happy." Bruce said quickly. "But don't punish him for something he couldn't control."
Tony nodded slowly, taking in Bruce's words. He could forgive Howard, could accept all of his apologies and everything he's trying to do to make up for it, but he's not quite sure what would happen then. He doesn't know how to feel about Howard, he doesn't know what family is supposed to feel like. Tony has no idea how he would fit himself into the role of a son and what that would do. Maybe if he understood things better, forgiving would be easier.
"What was your dad like?" Tony asked.
That was apparently the wrong question to ask, the line had been crossed, and Bruce had tensed up immediately. His hand jerked away from Tony's shoulder as if it had been burnt.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." Tony said quickly. He stood up and took a step away. "I should go."
"No, it's fine." Bruce said, jumping up and walking up to Tony. He froze momentarily, Tony wasn't sure what punishments he would get for bringing up something he shouldn't have but he didn't expect to be hit. Bruce had always told him people shouldn't hit each other and he didn't take Bruce for a liar. "You can stay. I'm not upset. I just didn't expect that question."
Tony shook his head. "You don't have to answer."
Bruce relaxed slightly, relieved. He didn't want to talk about it and Tony didn't want to force him. He could figure it out on his own.
"I don't mind talking about it. Like I said, it's good to talk about things." Bruce said, pulling Tony into a quick hug. When he pulled away he was quiet, just for a few seconds as he thought. "My dad wasn't a nice man. He was violent and dangerous and a liar and a murderer. He was all the things a father shouldn't be and I'm happy to be away from him."
"Oh." Tony said softly. Bruce was being honest, he could see it in the raw and vulnerable intensity in his eyes. He didn't know how to reply to that. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Everything got better, I met a lot of wonderful people, and I was happy for a long time." Bruce said. "And when I get out of here everything will go back to normal and it'll be fine. And you're going to be okay too. That's not how dads are supposed to be, they're supposed to love and take care of you, not hurt you and make you afraid."
Tony nodded, rushing forward to give Bruce one last hug before leaving. He knew what he was going to do now. It wasn't quite forgiving but it was pretty close. It was certainly providing an opportunity to himself to forgive.
He walked to Agent Hill's office, escorted by an agent he didn't know the name of, and made the call before he had time to rethink if and run away. Everything was going to be fine, Howard had never hit him, never hurt him, and had only seemed to want to give Tony everything he wanted. If that meant family then Tony wasn't sure what he was supposed to give in return but he could figure something out. Howard was there in an hour. Tony climbed into his car and they headed into a part of the city Tony hadn't been to.
How kept rambling on and on about tailors and designers while Tony watched the buildings speed by the windows. Tony tried to suppress the shaking of his hands and the fast beating of his heart. He was nervous, but he wanted to appear as calm as possible. It was less than ten minutes before they pulled up to a small shop. They walked in and were greeted by a smiling man.
"Tony, this is Bernard. He's one of my tailors. I have one in every city." Howard said happily. He hadn't stopped smiling since he had come to pick Tony up. "Bernard, this is my son. We're here to get him his first suit."
"He looks just like you!" Bernard exclaimed. He was a touch shorter than Tony, which was really saying something since Tony was still shorter than average. "Come Tony, we'll find you something to make you look like a king."
Tony let himself be dragged away from the front of the store, Howard following behind closely. He was malleable in Bernard's hands as he let the man move his arms into different positions to measure him.
"I don't need a suit." Tony said.
"Everyone needs a suit." Howard replied from his seat off to the side.
"Why?" Tony asked. "I'm sure I look just as good without one."
Howard chuckled softly and shook his head. "No, suits aren't about looking good. They're about looking sophisticated, important."
"But I'm not sophisticated or important." Tony muttered. Bernard dropped his arms and walked away, done with the measuring and promising a suit by the end of the week.
Howard through an arm over Tony's shoulders as they walked out of the building. "You're important. You're one of the most important people in the world." Howard said softly as he led Tony back to his car. "You're my son. People are expecting things from you. A suit could be your protection, to set you apart from all the rumors and assumptions."
"It's just clothes, but okay." Tony said.
Howard smiled and led Tony down the street, not back to the car to drag him to one of the many other clothing stores he had been talking about on the drive over, but toward a small diner on the corner. They walked right in and slipped into a booth in the corner.
"Is there anywhere in particular you want to go? Anything you want to get?" Howard asked as he glanced over to Tony.
"Coffee." Tony mutered.
Howard breathed out a soft laugh and smiled up to the waitress as she walked up. She passed out the menus and smiled at them, pausing momentarily as her intense gaze passed over Howard before shooting over to Tony. Her face went pink.
"Uh, welcome." She stuttered quickly. "I'm Janie, I'm your waitress. What can I get you?"
"Hello, Janie. You look lovely today." Howard said, his smile going from soft to something much larger that made the waitress blush harder. "I would like a cheeseburger, hold the onion. And just water."
He looked over to Tony and waited. "Coffee." He said simply. Howard cleared his throat and Tony continued with a quick glance to the menu. "And a… baked potato."
The waitress nodded quickly and left. Howard glanced around the diner. Tony followed his gaze as he looked over the few other patrons, the waitresses behind the counter, and the tv hanging on the wall, which was sadly enough showing another news report of 'The Lost Son of Howard Stark Found on Date with Captain America'.
"They know you, I made a public statement saying you were my son and they had gotten a hold of the DNA test results. There's no stopping them now." Howard said calmly. Tony shrugged, he had said he didn't care if Howard announced the truth but he was still confused on why everyone cared so much. "Why they keep insisting you're in a relationship with Steve, I'll never know. You guys just had dinner. Why did you guys have dinner?"
Tony shrugged. "I was hungry. I wanted food, Steve mentioned that he liked food, he's my friend, we got food." He said simply.
Howard stared at him for a few quiet minutes. Janie had returned and gently placed their plates in front of him, smiling brightly and insisting that if they need anything just call her over.
Tony didn't look away from Howard, the man just continued to stare intently at Tony, trying to unravel some mystery that must have been going through his head.
"You care about him." Howard said eventually.
"Well, yeah." Tony said quickly. He didn't want to have this discussion, he had only ever talked it over with Thor. "He's my friend."
"No, it's more than that." Howard said. He was frowning, which probably didn't mean anything good. Tony didn't know if he was angry or disappointed. "That's the same look I had on my face when I first fell in love with your mother."
"What was she like?" Tony asked. It was a horrible deflection, but it seemed to work. Howard's face softened visibly and he leaned back against his seat.
It was a legitimate question, not just a cheap trick to change the subject. Tony didn't know a lot about his mother. Just a few glimpses of her face in his memory and a soft, gentle voice.
"She was wonderful. She loved her work, she loved everyone she met, and she loved you more than anything." Howard said, looking away from Tony and down at his untouched burger. "Maria did a lot of charity work. She figured that since she had more than she needed she could give so much to those who didn't have enough. She did a lot of good. Though the one thing that made her the happiest was you."
Tony frowned. He wasn't quite sure what to say, if he should say anything. He might just mess up and say the wrong thing again and Howard would be upset with him, just like Bruce was when he mentioned something he shouldn't. Howard didn't notice his silence or apprehension, just continued talking.
"You were a very theatrical child. You one time draped yourself over the dining room table because I was going to miss your birthday one year. I had Jarvis take you to Disney World instead. You sat me down and showed me all the pictures once I got back because you were convinced I had missed the best day ever." Howard said, smiling gently. "You were a fantastic child, you did the greatest, funniest things and your mother adored you. You went to a very nice pre-school and one of the little girls gave you a babydoll and you started crying and when I asked what was wrong you said you were 'too little to be a grandmother'. Your mother just held you as you cried and told you it would be okay, that she would help you raise the doll."
Tony laughed at that. He didn't remember, but he wished he did. Maria sounded wonderful and Tony thought that maybe she really did love him. Not the harsh and cruel love he had thought he felt with Mesman and Lotte or the confusing and terrifying love he felt with Steve, but something pure and safe that was unlikely he would ever feel again.
"What happened to her?" Tony asked slowly. Howard looked up then, his eyes sorrowful.
"After we lost you she just shut herself away. She used to be this social butterfly, the highlight of every party. Then the only party she ever went to was the few galas for her charities. She stayed in that house, made sure your room was clean and prepared for when we found you. I came to visit her as often as I could but I couldn't stay in that house for longer than a few days." Howard said quietly, he barely spoke above a whisper. "I couldn't sit in those rooms without wondering when you'd come soaring into the rooms in your footie pajamas that you always wore because you said they made you feel like a dinosaur. I couldn't stay there, but your mother couldn't leave. She had an aneurysm and I wasn't there for her. She had the maids, sure, but I should have been there."
Tony didn't say anything, just took a small sip of his coffee as he reached forward and lightly tapped Howard's hand. "She sounds amazing." Tony said.
Howard smiled then. "She really was. She would be so happy we found you." He said as he stood up.
He dropped a hundred dollar bill on the table and started walking away, ushering Tony along with him. They hadn't even touched their food, a meal that at most cost twenty dollars, but Tony heard the delighted screech of the waitress as they walked out the door.
"She recognized us. At least now when she talks to the press she'll have nice things to say." Howard said. "Now, about your feelings for Steve, I can't say I approve."
Tony sighed, he thought Howard had forgotten. The turn in the conversation was enlightening and he was glad they had it, but he didn't really want to talk about Steve. If Howard didn't approve it didn't matter, how he felt was unimportant because nothing was going to happen.
"He's decades older than you, really just a few years older than you, but you're from different times. You both think different ways." Howard said quickly. "And you're not in the right state of mind for a serious relationship, you shouldn't rush into any major changes. Now, Steve is a good man so I don't think he is likely to hurt you, but you need time."
Tony smiled as he walked slowly behind Howard and towards where the car was parked. He felt relaxed, okay, not at all like the stress and discomfort he usually felt around the man. Tony had forgiven him, if just a little bit. He may not be able to call Howard 'dad' or do all the family things normal people did, but he wasn't that mad anymore. He had forgiven Clint for something he had done when he was ten, he could forgive Howard for something he had no control over.
They had made it across the street and Tony leaned in towards Howard quickly. It was stupid and unnecessary, but Tony felt like he should hug Howard. The man had talked to him about something that was clearly uncomfortable with him and Tony was grateful. He had learned about Maria and that seemed like a gift better than any suit or object.
Howard squeezed his shoulders, breathing heavily against Tony's hair. The hug only lasted a few seconds but it felt nice. Tony liked hugs, liked the gentle touches of people who seemed to care about him. When he pulled away he meant to say 'thank you' so they could walk the rest of the way to the car and continue on with their day, but something caught his eye.
It was just a small distraction, a brief flash of light from across the street that captured Tony's attention. His eyes scanned the windows and rooftops, there was something familiar about that light that was so quick to appear and then vanish. It was almost like the glint off of binoculars as they looked their way. Or the lens of a rifle scope catching the light from the sun as it took aim.
The flash of light shone again, across the street and on the rooftop of the diner they had just left. Tony barely had time to grab Howard by the shoulders and force him down before the shot rang out.