Outbursts and Compliments

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! In response to a couple of reviews that mentioned wanting to see more of James and Lily, thank you and I agree! Right now I'm focusing on developing them as individuals, but as you will see throughout this story, their relationship is pretty complicated. Now back to the story!

James' spirits were improved by the time Sirius returned home later that night. However, the following week was nothing short of dreadful for him. He could not move or exercise, and all he was allowed to do was homework. On top of that, various reporters from the ministry had been clambering over each other to interview James about his attack, giving him little to no time to himself.

Whenever James was alone in his bed, his mind would always drift to the night Rankin had shown up on his doorstep. Every time he closed his eyes, he could feel the Cruciatus curse eating away at his skin, forcing him to lay awake in a cold sweat each night. Despite Sirius' assurances that his friend's being in danger wasn't his fault, James continued to dwell on the fact that he had let Rankin into his mind so easily, and given him access to his friends as well. The more he thought about it, the worse his guilt became until he could no longer stand it and gulped down a dreamless sleep potion to get some much needed rest.

The day that James would return to Hogwarts dawned cold and dreary. The sky outside the window of the ministry vehicle he was riding in seemed to reflect his mood. 'We're almost there,' said Mr. Potter from where he sat in the front seat. 'Hang on tight.' The vehicle swerved and looped through muggle traffic before finally coming to a screeching halt in front of the iron gates of King's Cross Station.

His parents saw him off at platform 9 ¾. 'Stay out of trouble,' Mrs. Potter said into his shoulder as she embraced him. 'And remember to have some fun as well!'

'I will mum, dad,' James said as he heaved his trunk off of the cart.

He waved at his parents one last time before boarding the Hogwart's Express. He made his way to the back of the train and found Sirius, Remus and Peter sitting in their usual compartment. Remus looked up from his book when James opened the door and offered him a small smile.

The train-ride passed by quickly and uneventfully. James remained rather quiet throughout the entire trip, only speaking when his friends asked him questions. There seemed to be a kind of unspoken tension between the four of them, and none of them seemed to want to mention it out loud. It was to James' relief, then, that they pulled into Hogsmeade station half an hour ahead of schedule.

Unfortunately, James' foul mood did not go away after his return to Hogwarts. He was uncharacteristically cranky and irritable, and he even snapped at Edgar Bones for coming over during breakfast and asking him if he was all right. 'I'm fine, why does everybody keep asking me that?' he muttered as he stared after Edgar's retreating figure. Remus looked at him sympathetically. 'They're just worried about you James,' he said. 'I would think that they don't know how they should act around you just yet.'

'Yeah well, I'm tired of answering the same questions over and over again,' he snapped.

James' first class, Transfiguration did not sail smoothly either. While he normally had no trouble mastering anything Professor McGonagall threw at him on the first try, today he found himself incapable of performing the simple task that she had assigned them for their first lesson back— transforming a quill into a birch branch.

'I see,' Professor McGonagall said as she peered at him over her spectacles. 'Very well then, keep trying Mr. Potter.' James swore under his breath as she moved on to the next student. He noticed Lily was eyeing him curiously from the front of the room but she quickly turned back to her own quill.

'You alright mate?' Sirius asked from next to him. 'You never need more than one try to get it right,' he added. James just shrugged noncommittally. 'Not in the mood today,' he said, feeling tired all of a sudden. Sirius looked at him for a moment before setting his own branch down.

James hardly paid Professor Flitwick any attention during Charms an hour later, choosing to stare out of the window in silence instead. This did not go unnoticed by the tiny Charms professor, and he promptly deducted ten points from Gryffindor for James' lack of attention. To his annoyance, nobody seemed to want to meet his eyes when he had protested to Flitwick, so he stormed out of the room when the bell rang.

James was still fuming during Potions with Slughorn, although the jovial Potions master did a good job of pretending not to notice— or perhaps he did, he just didn't want to say anything about it, which James was secretly grateful for. However none of these classes compared to the Defense Against the Dark Arts Lesson that afternoon.

As the students piled in, buzzing with chatter, James took his usual seat next to Sirius in the back of the room. Selwyn entered a moment later, looking just as grim and sallow-faced as he had always been.

'Good afternoon,' Selwyn said coldly addressing them. 'I am glad to see that everyone has returned safely from holidays.' His sharp eyes landed on James, who felt a stab of irritation in the pit of his chest as he stared back at him. Selwyn broke his gaze and turned once more to the class at large.

'I understand that learning Defense Against the Dark Arts is not the prime topic of discussion at the moment,' Selwyn continued after a moment. 'It seems that the hot topic of discussion in all of my classes today… has been about the attack on Godric's Hollow this past week.'

Several people gasped at his bluntness, and James could feel the eyes of everyone in the room fixed upon him. He felt another pang of anger. Who did Selwyn think he was, putting him on the spot like that? James was already fed up as it was with all of the concerned looks and well wishes he had been getting as of late, but Selwyn's approach didn't strike James' fancy either.

Selwyn spoke over the murmurs in the classroom. 'What Mr. Potter went through over break,' he said coldly. 'Is a prime example of complacence. Times are growing darker outside of these walls, and if you wish to survive what is coming—' he smirked at James, who had stood up, shaking with fury — 'then you must never let your guard down like the Potter's di—'

'SHUT THE HELL UP!'

There was a ringing silence in the classroom.

James was breathing heavily- his shaking fists clenched tightly by his sides. His chair had toppled over when he stood and now laid on its side. He was certain— that aside from Rankin and Voldemort, he had never hated someone more than he did at that moment. Selwyn's expression remained impassive as he appraised James. 'You have an objection Mr. Potter?' He asked coldly.

James did not respond, he just glared at the man in front of him, hoping that he would die a gruesome death someday.

Selwyn's lips morphed into a smile. 'Perhaps you could enlighten us, Mr. Potter,' he said in a silky voice. 'On the abilities of those who were entrusted to protect your family prior to the attack on y—'

'There were seven Aurors who died to protect us! Don't you think it's very inappropriate to be speaking about how well they fared?'

The people around James all sucked in a breath. Remus seemed to be frozen in his seat, his eyes darting from James to Selwyn nervously. Selwyn merely nodded, his eyes never leaving James' face. 'I meant no disrespect of course,' he said calmly. 'I merely meant to point out the mistake your parents made when they thought that seven Aurors alone could handle one of the Dark Lord's most trusted—'

'Don't talk about them like they died because of some kind of stupid mistake!' James roared. He couldn't stop the words that flowed out of his mouth next. 'And you speak like you're one of Voldemort's admirers— always calling him the dark lord whenever you mention him!'

These words seemed to have hit their mark. Selwyn's calm façade faded and his face contorted in fury. A shiver ran down James' spine as Selwyn stared at him intently, and he suddenly felt the familiar sensation of having his mind open and exposed— 'AND STOP TRYING TO GET INTO MY HEAD!'

They stared at each other— James breathing heavily and Selwyn looking absolutely livid.

'Kindly gather your belongings and leave my classroom Potter. Now.' He said in a low and dangerous voice.

Wordlessly, James grabbed his bag from the floor and stormed out of the classroom without a second glance. When he was a corridor away, the bell rang signaling the start of their afternoon break.

He had just slowed down to a walk when he heard rapidly approaching footsteps and someone calling his name from behind.

'I don't want to talk about it Sirius,' he said shortly.

'It's Lily.'

James turned around and found himself face to face with Lily Evans, who was bent over, trying to catch her breath. James stared at her for a moment in disbelief, before turning and walking away. 'Hey wait!' Lily called after him, jogging to catch up.

He sucked his teeth in irritation. 'What do you want?' Lily looked uncomfortable.

'I just wanted to say that I don't agree with anything Professor Selwyn said back there, that was wrong of him,' she said. James stopped in his tracks.

'Is that all you want Evans?' he snapped. Lily looked annoyed for a moment before answering. 'No, I just… well, I wanted to know if- if you were okay,' she finished lamely.

'I'm fine now leave me alone.'

'You're clearly not okay, you've been snapping at anybody who's approached you today!' She said hotly.

'Yeah well, that's none of your business is it?' He retorted. Lily ran a hand through her hair in frustration. 'I don't know why I bothered, I just wanted you to know—'

'Know what?' James interrupted her impatiently.

Lily glared at him. 'I wanted you to know that this isn't like you. You're always cheerful, abrasive and cocky, not like this,' she gestured at him. James let out a hollow laugh. 'Yeah… right,' he said. 'Like I'm supposed to believe that after you've spent a year telling me that I'm a bloody toerag— thanks for the effort Evans,' he said sarcastically.

Lily shoved him into a wall with such force that James dropped his bag in shock. 'What the hell was that for?' he demanded. Lily crossed her arms with a defiant expression on her face and her hair seemed to crackle with electricity. James gulped in spite of his anger.

'Listen to me Potter, and make sure you actually LISTEN!' she said angrily. 'Nobody knows how to act around you when you've just been through so much,' her expression softened and she continued in a slightly lower tone. 'People are wishing you well because they haven't got a clue how you'll react if they just act like nothing happened.'

James avoided her gaze and stubbornly stared ahead.

'And you're not a bloody toerag— at least not always,' said Lily.

James looked at her in surprise. Lily was staring at the floor, looking rather embarrassed. 'I saw you save that girl at the lake,' she said simply. 'It was stupid, and ill advised… but it was also admirable.'

James raised an eyebrow at her. 'Was that another compliment from Lily Evans?' he asked sarcastically— but he couldn't deny his growing interest in the conversation.

Lily cleared her throat loudly. 'Let me finish,' she said impatiently. 'You're always there for Frank and Alice when they need you, and I think it's in part thanks to you that they're dating now.'

James shook his head, although he was surprised to notice that he felt a lot lighter than he had ten minutes ago. Was it because Lily had just complimented him- twice?

'I don't know what you're talking about Evans,' he said finally. 'They were made for each other and you know it.'

Lily laughed and James' heart skipped a beat. 'I'm not arguing that,' she said. 'But I'm not done yet—' she flushed slightly as James' eyebrows shot even higher. Was it wildly delusional on his part to think that maybe…. maybe he was about to receive a third compliment from Lily Evans in the span of two minutes?

'I'm listening, how many more have you got prepared for today?' he teased.

Lily ignored him and badgered on.

'You helped Alice and me practice the reductor curse when we didn't understand how to do it. And you're always helping Peter with— well everything,' she said.

James frowned as a thought struck him.

'I did help Alice with the reductor curse,' he said slowly. 'But I don't seem to recall—'

To his surprise, Lily suddenly flushed red and became extremely fascinated with a spot on the wall behind James. A memory flashed across his mind from the day he and Alice had used the empty classroom to practice the curse.

Alice attempted several more tries, each one breaking the dummy apart more than the last. Finally at a quarter past eight, they decided to call it a night. James repaired both dummies and placed them back into the closet. 'I'd say you're ready for Selwyn now,' he said. Alice nodded excitedly. 'Thanks again Potter, I don't know where I'd be without you!' she gushed.

James winked. 'I always aim to please,' he quipped.

They had just turned around to leave when James accidentally stepped into a desk, which toppled over with a loud bang. There was a loud yelp from somewhere behind him.

'Sorry Dearborn, I wasn't watching,' he apologized.

Alice shook her head, 'That wasn't me,' she said with a frown. James glanced around. 'Is there someone else in here?' He called.

No response.

James turned to Alice and shrugged. 'Probably just the desk anyway,' Alice said nonchalantly and they made their way back to the common room.

James stared at Lily, who was shuffling her feet, and burst out laughing as the realization hit him.

'That was you! Blimey Evans, who knew you were so good at sneaking around undetected?' Lily looked mortified at her slip up. 'I- I didn't— oh shut up!' she spluttered. James was now leaning against the wall for support. He didn't know why he was laughing so hard, but it felt amazing. For the first time in weeks, he was himself again.

Lily tried to look unamused but her lips soon tilted upwards. 'Careful Potter, I might hex you if you don't stop laughing,' she warned.

James wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Lily.

Lily's eyes widened and she pushed back looking startled. 'What are you doing?' James grinned. 'I'm just expressing my gratitude for you making my day— yet again!' he said cheerfully. Oh, how light he felt!

Lily looked at him as though concerned for his sanity.

'Well…' she began, looking flustered. 'I've got to go now,' she tried to make a hasty exit, but James reached out a hand, stopping her in her tracks. He pulled her back so that she was hidden behind a suit of armor to his left, wordlessly motioning for her to stay put.

James turned to the boy standing in front of them, and the feeling of lightness vanished as suddenly as it came, only to be replaced by a fresh wave of anger.

'Well… if it isn't Snivellus.'