Ed the Manacurist (works at nail salon...I don't know)

Lady: I've ordered the deluxe package.

Ed: Okay, so I have to give you a manicure, wax your eyebrows, and your upper lip?

Lady: Yep

Ed: Okay I guess will start with the manicure.

Lady: (takes off shoes, thus revealing discolored, fungus infected, hairy, blistered feet)

Ed: Eww, that's disgusting! Ahh, gross! I mean really, that's horrid. It's worse than death!

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Ed: (after finishing the manicure...and barfing for about 30 minutes) Okay, I guess I'll start with the eyebrow waxing. (Ed takes the woman into a seperate room) So have you ever had your eyebrows waxed?

Lady: Of course. Everyone says it hurts, but I feel nothing at all.

Ed: (Begins by putting a tape-like piece of paper over the woman's eyebrows) Are you ready.

Lady: I already told you. I don't feel a thing. Do it when you feel like it.

Ed: Okay. (Rips the tape-like piece of paper off of the woman's face)

Lady: Ahhhhhhhhhhh...It hurts...It hurts...Oh God please release me from this pain...Oh God please...

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Ed: (Places tape-like piece of paper over the woman's face) Ready?

Lady: I already told you, it doesn't hur-

Ed: (Rips off paper)

Lady: Ahhhhhhhhh...owwwww...please, please...just end it now...just kill me...this pain is too much to bear.

Ed: Russel! Hahahahaha. I didn't recognize you with all of that hair on your face.

Russel: owwwwww...