Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 35 – Explanations

Alan had just finished checking his email when he heard a knock on his door. "Come in. It's open." He called out. He looked up from his computer to see Virgil standing in the open door. "Hey, Virgil, you didn't need to come get me. I can make it to my therapy sessions all by myself."

Virgil nodded. "I know, but then I couldn't give you this." He held out a wrapped package to Alan.

"What is this?" Alan asked as he took the package from Virgil.

Virgil shrugged. "It's just something that I made for you."

"But why?" Alan pressed. "It's not my birthday."

"It's just something that I wanted to do." Virgil answered.

Alan raised his eyebrow in slight disbelief. "Are you sure that you just 'wanted to do' it? Could there be more to it?"

"All right, fine," Virgil sighed. "I've still been feeling guilty about what I did. So, I thought I'd make you something. I hope you like it."

"If it's your work, I'm sure that I will." Alan said. "But you didn't have to do this. I told you that I don't blame you for what happened. I wish you wouldn't blame yourself. It's not good for anyone."

"I know." Virgil replied. "And I'm trying to work through this. I'll feel a whole lot better once you're back on your feet. Come on. Open it up, and let me know what you think. Then we can head to your therapy."

"Okay," Alan said as he tore the wrapping away from the package. "Oh my God, Virgil, it's beautiful." He said in awe as he stared at an eight by ten portrait of his mother. Alan blinked back the tears that quickly formed as he took in the beautiful face from his vision with a soft glow shining from behind. "It's just like I remember her."

"I hoped it would be." Virgil replied nervously.

Alan looked at Virgil in surprise. "You believe that I saw her? I was under the impression that you guys thought I had just dreamed it."

Virgil thought for a moment before responding. "I really don't know what you saw. It may have only been a dream, but then again, it could have been real. Who am I to pass that kind of judgment?" Virgil ducked his head for a moment. "It's nice to think that she's still here watching over us."

Alan nodded. "Yeah, it is."

Virgil cleared his throat. "Did she…I wanted…I mean…did she say anything about us? Or send a message to us?"

Alan bowed his head. "Well, she didn't give me individual messages for you guys, but she did say that she loved us and that one day when the time was right, that we would all be together again."

Virgil thought for a moment and then nodded his head. "I see. Well then, enough of this melancholy. Let's get you down to the sickroom for your therapy. We wouldn't want to get in trouble for you being late."

Alan gave Virgil a mock salute. "Yes sir, after all, we both know what a slave driver Brains can be."

Virgil laughed. "Come along, Alan. Maybe after your therapy, we can play a game of chess or something."

Alan began wheeling his chair towards the door. "We'll see how I feel after the session. Come along brother dear. I have a date with some exercise equipment."

"You better hope that Tin-Tin doesn't find out." Virgil teased. "You know what they say about jealous females."

The two brothers laughed and teased each other as they made their way to the sickroom.

Jeff stood just inside the sickroom door watching as Brains and Virgil worked with Alan. Had it really only been just shy of two months since he had resigned himself to his youngest child's death? Jeff contemplated how quickly life can change. Sometimes, it was good like Alan's recovery, but sometimes it was bad like when he lost his beloved Lucy. He knew that life was not fifty-fifty when it came to the good and bad. He also knew that he had more than his share of good fortune, but he was extremely grateful when Alan was returned to him. It was a blessing that he had wanted but had not expected.

"M-M-Mr. Tracy?" Brains voice broke into Jeff's thoughts.

"Oh Brains," Jeff said, bringing himself back to the present. "You're done with the therapy?"

Alan wheeled his chair towards the door. "Yeah, Brains figured that he has tortured me enough for today."

"Be grateful." Virgil said. "Look at what his 'torture' has accomplished so far."

Jeff smiled wanly and nodded to his sons.

"Are you okay, Dad?" Virgil asked. "You seem a little out of it."

"Yeah, I'm fine." Jeff answered. "I was just thinking."

"Anything important?" Alan questioned.

Jeff replied. "I was just thinking about how grateful I was that you're alive and doing so well."

"Aw…Dad's getting sentimental." Virgil teased.

"You just wait." Jeff teased back. "Things will look different when you are looking at it through the eyes of a father."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't think that's going to be anytime soon. I need to find a girl first, and with my job that seems almost impossible."

Jeff laughed. "I guess I will have to do something to change that."

"Not just for me." Virgil responded. "My brothers would probably appreciate it too." Patting Alan on the shoulder, he amended that statement. "Well, maybe not all my brothers, after all, Alan here has a girlfriend. Isn't that right, little brother?"

"Bite me." Alan tried to sound mad, but couldn't. "Are we going to play chess before dinner or not?"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, what's your big hurry? Got a hot date or something?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." Alan replied. "I've made arrangements with Kyrano for a nice, quiet, intimate dinner in my room for just me and Tin-Tin."

"See, you just proved my point." Virgil laughed. "Are you sure that you even want to play chess? Or do you want to get ready for your big date?"

Alan gave Virgil an irritated look. Turning towards Jeff, he asked. "Do you want to watch me whip Virgil's butt in chess?"

"In your dreams, Alan, in your dreams." Virgil remarked.

Jeff shook his head. "I may catch the end of the game, but first, I need to talk to Brains for a minute."

"Okay, see you later." Alan said, and Virgil nodded his head in agreement. The two then left the sickroom.

Jeff turned towards Brains who had moved away from the group while they were teasing each other. He tried to look like he was working, but Jeff knew that it was just busy work.

Jeff held up a piece of paper. "Brains, I wanted to talk to you about this. Please tell me that you're not serious."

Brains shook his head. "I'm s-s-sorry, Mr. Tracy, b-b-but I am serious. I think it w-w-would be best for everyone."

"Explain that to me." Jeff demanded in exasperation. "How exactly is resigning best for us? Don't you realize how much we depend on you?"

Brains turned away nervously. "You c-c-can't trust me. L-l-look at what I've d-d-done. I almost k-k-killed Alan."

Jeff shook his head. "You didn't almost kill Alan. You simply gave me the information that you had. I was the one who made the final decision."

"B-b-but the information I g-g-gave you was inc-c-correct." Brains argued. "You m-m-made that decision on f-f-faulty information. Inf-f-formation that I g-g-gave you. So it was my f-f-fault."

Jeff sighed heavily. "You told me what your professional opinion was. You also consulted with a specialist who agreed with your assessment. So you couldn't have been too wrong with it. I also remember that you told me that you couldn't give me a one hundred percent guarantee. I took all that into consideration when I made my decision. It wasn't your fault."

Brains shook his head. "I'm s-s-sorry. This is how I f-f-feel."

"Fine, if that is the way you feel," Jeff decided to switch tactics. "But I would like to ask you one thing: why did you wait so long to resign? Why didn't you quit right away?"

"Alan n-n-needed me." Brains explained. "Just b-b-because he had awakened, h-h-he was not 'out of the w-w-woods'. He n-n-needed immediate m-m-medical attention. I c-c-couldn't leave him like that, but n-n-now he has recovered to the p-p-point that I feel I c-c-can leave."

"So you were willing to stay because you were needed?" Jeff asked.

"Yes, Mr. T-T-Tracy." Brains replied. "I believe that was my p-p-point."

"But don't you see?" Jeff pressed. "You're still needed here. You'll always be needed here. You're an integral part of this team. International Rescue couldn't function without you, but there's more than that. You have become part of this family. I know that I haven't told you that enough. I just assumed that you knew. The important point is that I don't want to lose you."

Brains bowed his head. "Please, Mr. Tracy, d-d-don't make this harder th-th-than it is."

Jeff sighed. "I'm not trying to make it harder. I just don't want to see you make a decision out of guilt, a decision that we'll both end up regretting."

Brains shook his head again. "I c-c-can't help the way I f-f-feel. If the v-v-vent had been t-t-turned off any earlier, Alan w-w-would have d-d-died." He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I c-c-can't forgive m-m-myself for that. I just c-c-can't."

"Well, I'm not going to accept your resignation." Jeff said. "I need you here."

Brains turned to face Jeff. "You d-d-don't have a choice."

"God, this has so gotten out of hand." Jeff mumbled to himself. "I have to do something about this."

Confusion crossed Brains' face. "What c-c-can you do?"

Jeff looked at Brains in surprise. He hadn't realized that he had spoken out loud. "I've been a fool to think that we could handle this on our own. We need professional help. I should have brought someone in weeks ago. We all need to face up to the guilt that is tearing us apart."

"D-d-do you have an idea on whom to c-c-call?" Brains asked. "It's n-n-not like you can just ch-ch-chose one out of the phone b-b-book."

Jeff nodded. "A couple of International Rescue's operatives are psychiatrists. I thought I would start there."

Brains nodded. "That is a g-g-good idea."

Jeff returned the nod. "The question is: will you stay and take advantage of the help?"

"I'm not s-s-sure." Brains answered.

Jeff placed a hand on Brains' shoulder. "Please, Brains, don't leave. Stay here and get the help. Let us help each other."

Brains could see the emotions running through Jeff's eyes. "All right, I'll st-st-stay."

"Good," Jeff replied. "That's good. I'll see you later. I need to make some phone calls."

Brains nodded and went back to his work, and Jeff left the sickroom.

Tin-Tin blurted out in exasperation. "Gordon, I'm pregnant!"

Gordon sat down heavily in the chair with a dumbfounded look on his face. "You're what?"

"I'm pregnant." Tin-Tin repeated, this time in a much quieter tone.

"And it's mine?" Gordon asked the shock still evident in his voice.

Tin-Tin avoided eye contact as she silently nodded her head.

Gordon ran a hand over his face. He stood and moved towards the window. "I can't believe this. It was only the one time." He mumbled to himself, but Tin-Tin heard him anyways.

"It only takes one time." Tin-Tin told him.

Gordon spun around to face Tin-Tin. "Weren't you on the pill? I mean…haven't you and Alan been doing…oh God, you weren't a virgin, were you?" Gordon's face had paled considerably. "No, wait, I shouldn't be asking about your personal life…well, maybe about the 'virgin' part…if I was your first…oh God, what have I done?" Gordon began rambling again.

"Gordon, stop!" Tin-Tin exclaimed loudly to get his attention. He looked at her in confusion, and she continued. "Relax. You were not my first, and yes, I have been taking a birth control pill, but it's not one-hundred percent effective. No birth control is…well, except abstinence." Her voice trailed off as she tried to explain, but then she strengthened her voice. "It doesn't really matter. I'm pregnant, and we have to deal with it."

Gordon nodded, but asked. "Are you sure it's mine? Maybe there's a chance that it's Alan's. Isn't there?"

Tin-Tin gave Gordon a look of unbelief. "Gordon! Between Alan's schedule and then his accident, we haven't been 'together' in five months." Holding her arms out, she asked sarcastically. "Do I look like I am five months pregnant?"

Gordon got red in the face. "How would I know?" He shot back. "How often am I around pregnant females?"

"You're right. I'm sorry that I snapped at you." Tin-Tin replied.

"Hey," A thought ran through Gordon's mind, so he asked Tin-Tin. "It's been what? Almost two months since we had…that we were…I mean…well, you know. Shouldn't you have known before? I don't mean to sound dense here, but aren't women supposed to have a menstrual cycle every month? So what gives?"

Tin-Tin rolled her eyes. "Typical man. Look, I'm going to tell you a few things about women and menstrual cycles. Number one: Not all women have regular monthly cycles. Now, in my case, I usually do. Number two: Other things besides pregnancy can affect a woman's period, like stress. We both know that there hasn't been a lack of stress around here lately. Number three: Not every woman stops having a period immediately when they get pregnant. Some women have periods that first month while a few will even have them each month through the first trimester. Now last month, I had an unusual period which I chalked up to stress, although it could also have been caused by the pill too, but when I totally missed my period this month, I grew concerned. Believe me. This is the last thing that I ever wanted."

Gordon sighed heavily. "So, what are we going to do?"

Tin-Tin bowed her head. "There's really only one option open to us. I think you know that."

Gordon shook his head. "You can't do that. I know how important all life is to you. You can't even bring yourself to kill a fly."

"But with the circumstances…" Tin-Tin began, but Gordon cut her off.

"I know that the circumstances aren't the best." Gordon said. "But I'm sure that if we discuss our options, we can reach a resolution that we can live with."

Tin-Tin crossed her arms and challenged. "Like what?"

Gordon shrugged. "Well, you could have the baby and raise it here on the Island. I know the idea of being a single mom is scary, but you won't be, not really. I'll be here to help you raise our baby, as will the rest of the family. You'll have plenty of help. I promise."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "Not an option."

Gordon sighed. "Well, then, I can take the baby to raise. Again, being a single parent won't be easy, but I'll have all the help that I mentioned to you. You won't have to do a thing for the baby."

"Do you really think that I could really live here and see you raising our child and not do anything?" Tin-Tin asked disgustedly.

Gordon sat down and reached out and took Tin-Tin's hand. "We could get married, and raise the baby together."

"What?" Tin-Tin asked in shock.

"I know that you don't love me that way." Gordon continued speaking. "But with a little work, we could make it work. We'd have our child, and maybe in time, we would learn to love each other like a married couple would."

"Are you crazy?" Tin-Tin replied pulling her hand away from Gordon's. "I could never marry you." She saw a flash of hurt cross Gordon's face, and she felt guilty for what she was putting him through. "Don't you get it? Don't you understand what the one reason that makes all your suggestions invalid options? It's Alan. We agreed that he could never know what happened between us because it would hurt him too much. Neither one of us wants to see him hurt or see him relapse. We definitely don't want to give him a reason to consider suicide again. It's not a question of who will raise the child. Just me going through the pregnancy will give us away. You know as well as I do that in order to spare Alan, we only have the one option. It's just about killing me to have to decide between my baby and Alan. As much as I hate to use it as the deciding factor, the truth is, this baby is a mistake. If it would only affect the two of us, my decision would probably be different, but it's not just us. Alan would also have to pay, and I can't do that to him. I can't allow him to be hurt because of my mistake. I just can't." Tin-Tin's voice choked with tears. She turned away from Gordon as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

Gordon felt himself tearing up as he listened to Tin-Tin. Clearing his throat, he said. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. It's just a lot to take in within this short time. Have you checked into it? What's the next step?"

"I've already made an appointment for tomorrow." Tin-Tin answered. "I really don't know why I even told you. I guess I just felt that you had a right to know this has happened."

"Well, you can't go by yourself." Gordon told her. "I'll fly you over."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "I was planning on asking my father to do it. You may be needed here."

Gordon looked at Tin-Tin in alarm. "Does your father know about the baby? I mean, does he know what you are planning on doing?"

Tin-Tin shook her head. "No, I just planned on telling him that I need a procedure to correct a 'female' problem. It's not an actual lie. Yet, he won't press the issue."

"Don't bother your dad." Gordon re-iterated. "I'll take you to the mainland."

"But what about International Rescue?" Tin-Tin pressed. "It's already short handed. How are you going to convince your father to let you go?"

"Don't worry about it." Gordon replied. "I'll figure something out. I'm just as responsible for all this as you. I should be there when you end it. What time do we have to leave?"

"We should leave by eight in the morning at the latest." Tin-Tin answered him.

Gordon nodded. "Okay, I'll meet you in the hanger at seven-thirty."

"Okay," Tin-Tin replied. Gordon headed for the door. Just short of the door, she stopped him. "And Gordon, I'm sorry for how things have turned out."

Gordon paused for a moment, sadness showed on his face. "So am I, Tin-Tin. So am I." He then slipped out the door.

Author's Note - Okay, was that mean of us to make you wait until the end of the chapter to find out Gordon's reaction? We know. You're all probably ready to kill us. Will Alan find out about the baby before Tin-Tin has the abortion? Will he try to stop her? Join us for the next chapter and find out. We'll be wrapping this up soon. We promise.

Thanks to all our faithful readers and reviewers. We never would have made it this far if we didn't have your encouragement. Thanks again!