Rose

I get a sense of déjà vu as I pace back and forth rubbing my sweaty palms against the skirt of my clean dress. The last time I anxiously paced this much was when I waited for Dimitri to return after he walked out on me when I asked him if there was a way to break the curse. Life before, I wait for Dimitri only this time, I am certain nothing has happened to him or will ever happen. In fact, I am happier than I have ever been because my Russian is well. He is human again, and the blasted curse has been lifted. More importantly, Dimitri and I are together, and he just proposed to me. Pausing my pacing, I glance at the ring on my left hand and smile widely. If I keep smiling this hard, my face will start to hurt and might get split in half. But it's hard not to be this happy when all my dreams seem to be coming true. I have a great man that venerates and loves me more than I ever thought it was possible. The smile on my lips gets wider still as I think of Dimitri on his knee asking me to marry him just minutes ago.

The white opal of my ring and tiny diamonds surrounding it glisten under the light of the fire cackling and roaring in the fireplace. The ring is beautiful, and his sweet words and proposal left me speechless; all I could do was cry tears of joy. After I had calmed down enough, Dimitri suggested we head down to deliver the news of my revival and our engagement to our family and friends. And that brings me back to the reason for my anxiety. How will my parents and friends react to me coming back from the dead? They will surely accuse me, more importantly Adrian, of striking a deal with Satan to restore my life. I will be shunned. They will want nothing to do with me after they see me walking and breathing again after they seeing me bleed to death. But maybe they won't hate me. Maybe they'll hate Adrian and want to lynch him for performing the darkest kind of magic: bringing someone back from the dead. After everything I have done to Adrian, he has given me a second chance to live and be with the people I love. While I still don't understand how Adrian acquired such power to restore my life, the least I can do is try to protect him from burning at the stake or getting flayed.

With an image of Adrian being horribly punished burning fresh in my mind, I return to pacing only this time faster and going as far as tugging at my hair. Dimitri finds me a nervous wreck when he returns from the bathroom. He is now fully clothed and clean of sweat of our lovemaking and dry blood from slaughtering our enemies. When he sees me falling to pieces, his features soften even more as he steps towards me and envelopes me in a bone crushing hug.

"Stop worrying, Roza." He murmurs into my hair as he kisses the top of my head. "Everything will be all right. They will be ecstatic to know you are alive."

I sigh deeply and grip his duster pulling him closer to me. His scent of mint and petrichor fill my nostrils calming me down immensely or at least enough to express my concerns to my beloved. "Maybe. I think I am more concerned with what may happen to Adrian. He will be condemned, and he will burn. The church will not overlook this."

Now it's Dimitri's turn to sigh. "Why must you concern yourself with Ivashkov and his well-being after everything he has done?" Though I hear the frustration and anger in his voice at the mention of Adrian, Dimitri continues to rub my back soothingly.

"He is the reason I am here with you, Dimitri. We should move past all the hurt we have caused each other and live life as happily as we can. Life can end so abruptly." I shiver involuntarily thinking of Death and the way it felt to die. Everything was so cold and empty. Dimitri holds me tighter to comfort me, and I bury my face in his white chemise inhaling his scent to chase away all negative feelings and thoughts.

He remains silent for a couple of seconds, but he suddenly pulls back to look down at me. His genuine smile is surprising to say the least because since when do our talks concerning Adrian ever end well? "You are right, Roza. There is no need to live in the past. Our future is waiting for us. Come; let us deliver the good news."

I narrow my eyes skeptically at him. Dimitri and I are opposites in so many ways, but we also hold similarities. We both fight fervently for those we love and care about. We love intensely with all we have, with every breath. And we are also stubborn as mules. He wouldn't agree so easily to moving past loathing Adrian. Perhaps all the near death experiences and curses have changed him, made him more forgiving. No matter the reason for his change, his smile soon becomes contagious and like my ray of sunshine shining through the dark clouds of my anxiety and fears. I return the gesture as he grabs my left hand in his right placing a kiss on the ring before tugging me out of the room.

Making our way through the empty and dark hallways, the fears return with a vengeance. The joy of being engaged to Dimitri is still there, but the anxiety of what is about to happen seems to win over. My palms continue to sweat and my stomach turns and churns so hard I feel sick. Dimitri squeezes my hand to reassure me everything is ok, and for a second I believe it until we near the dining room, and I hear the sobs of grief of many people. At the entrance, I come to a stop halting Dimitri too. He turns to give me an encouraging smile and tug at my hand gently, but I shake my head feeling vile rise up my esophagus.

"I cannot… I cannot do this." I breathe out ever so quietly that if Dimitri wasn't standing so close to me, he wouldn't hear me. Turning my eyes on him, I plead. "Please. Let us run away. You and me. We can start a new life somewhere else. We can change our names. I do not care if we live in a shack in the middle of nowhere, but please…"

"Roza," he shakes his head and pulls me closer by the waist interrupting my desperate rant. He pauses to give my forehead a gentle kiss. "You do not want to do that. Not really. Listen to them. Can you hear their grief? Can you feel it? Will you let them suffer so?"

I swallow the giant knot in my throat and stand in silence listening to the cries of my loved ones. They sound in pain, so much pain. I want to take it away because I don't want them to suffer. That was the reason I did what I did. Because I didn't want Christian to suffer through being a werewolf, or Lissa to see Christian suffer the curse. Because I wanted my mom to be human again, and my dad wouldn't have to worry about hiding Mom anymore. I didn't want Dimitri, Mason, and Ivan to be human. But everything has changed now. I've been given another chance, and I have to seize it. And I will make sure no harm comes to Adrian. I owe him as much.

Nodding my head and swallowing the lump in my throat, I nod for Dimitri to open the door. He gives me another encouraging and proud smile before kissing my lips gently then shoving the double doors open. Heads turn in our direction, and the room falls eerily silent. I scan the room as my head swims with the lack of oxygen as I hold my breath expecting the shrieks of fear and looks of condemnation. The same expression is written all over everyone's faces: disbelief and shock. I stand awkwardly next to Dimitri gripping his hand so tightly I might break it, but he doesn't complain. He seems to be lost in his own world; a world full of smiles and joy as he never removes his eyes from me. His eyes tell me he is supporting me wholeheartedly; that he will be here to protect me if necessary, to give his life for me like I did for him. His adoration and support gives me the strength to square my shoulders and stand taller. I'm fucking Rose Hathaway Mazur, deadly huntress, and I just came back from the dead.

"Well, I expected a warmer welcome…" I don't even finish my sentence because Lissa shrieks, though not of fear. She jumps out of Christian's arms and races towards me. Her arms are around my neck, her tears soaking my hair in a matter of seconds. Because I have the chance to hug my best friend again and for the rest of my life, I start to cry too. "I missed you." I whisper against her hair all over my face and hug her back fiercely.

"I missed you!" She exclaims pulling back to look me up and down like she can't believe I'm standing in front of her. Honestly, I can't believe I'm standing here either. The sting of her palm against my cheek as she slaps me hard across the face convinces me that I am in fact standing here, that I can feel pain, grief, joy and every emotion. And for some reason, I am happy to stand here and take Lissa's chastising. "Do not ever do that again, Rosemarie. If you kill yourself, I will murder you. And do not ever involve me in your schemes! Your Russian almost ripped my head off! And the suffering you have put us through! Unacceptable, Rosemarie! Unacceptable! And…"

"All right," I mutter rubbing my stinging cheek. For never lifting a finger in her entire life, Liss can sure as hell slap. "Calm down. I will never do this again. Shit, that hurt!"

"Yeah, well," crimson colors her pale cheeks in embarrassment or perhaps agitation after the work out of chewing me out. "You had it coming. You should not have scared us like that…" She trails off and looks around the room at the people still frozen in place. Placing her hands on her hips, she glares murderously at them all. "What are you all waiting for? Embrace her! She is alive!"

With those words, everyone springs back to life. My mother jumps up second and also runs to embrace me. I grip her tightly, the sobs shaking her body so violently and mine as well. Her knees buckle under her and we both sink to the floor still hugging and crying. I pull away after a while to take a look at her. Her cheeks are moist with salty tears, her brown eyes, mirrors of mine, are trimmed with red and exhaustion but also extreme joy and relief.

"Rose…" My name comes out hoarsely due to her continuous crying no doubt. Her shaking hands touch my face gently as if to reassure herself that I'm not a figment of her imagination. "Oh baby is that really you?"

"I am here, Mom," my voice breaks with the emotion of seeing my mother in such disheveled state. "I am sorry for putting you through this."

She shakes her head and just pulls me into a bone crunching hug again which my father soon joins. He wraps his arms around both of us and sheds his own tears. Out of nowhere, everyone in the room erupts into applause and cheers. My parents and I split apart to look around the room at the people surrounding us with genuine smiles and eyes glistening with tears. Dimitri extends his hand out to help me rise to my feet. Suddenly, I am embraced by a weeping Mason, who clings heavily to me that I would crumble under his weight were it not for Dimitri holding both of us up.

"You are horrible, Rose," says Mason through his sobs as he still holds me close. "How could you do that to us? You had no right!"

"Mason, shut up," I murmur squeezing him then pulling back to look at him. He looks, well, not on the brink of death after the battle. The color is slowly returning to his features and his hair seems to be a brighter red than before. "Just shut up." Pulling him down, I kiss his moist cheeks, which only seems to make him cry harder and cling to me again like a child to his mother. We stand like that for a while until Ivan steps forward to pull Mason away. Ivan hugs me awkwardly with one arm and sheepishly walks away.

The following minutes pass in a blur of smiling faces, bone crunching hugs, kind words and loving kisses on my cheeks. Dimitri manages to always stay with me his hand gripping mine tightly, and I get the feeling he is taking the whole 'never-letting-you-go' promise too seriously, which I wouldn't have any other way. It is, however, awkward to hug people back with only one free hand. Eventually, I return to my parents' side with Dimitri still next to me.

"How is this possible?" Mom asks as she rubs patterns on my hand. Everyone turns again silent expecting the answer to the question of the millennia. "I mean, I am overjoyed that you are alive but… we saw you die. Do not ever do that again by the way. But how are you here?"

I bite my lower lip and turn to Dimitri. The answer is not complicated, but it is incredible and shocking. While everyone has welcomed me with warm hugs, gentle kisses, and affectionate words, I am not sure Adrian will be met with the same appreciation. But stranger things have happened. Both Dimitri and I nod at the same time. Finally, he lets go. It's not easy walk away from him. The pain of thinking we were never going to be together again is still fresh, and I feel I am missing a part of me. However, there are matters to take care of.

I seek out Adrian in the crowd. I spot him standing in the farthest corner of the room. Next to him is Sydney, which surprises me a bit. I never thought they'd become friends. I put those thoughts aside for later when I see Adrian's emerald eyes are wide with wonder as he watches me move towards him. His skin is pale, and he looks about to faint. When I stand in front of him, he swallows loudly. I smile confidently trying to provide some reassurance that I am not a ghost or a demon. He jumps a little when I take his hand and squeeze hard.

"Adrian saved me." I speak loud enough for everyone to hear me but hope they can't hear the emotion in my voice. I will be in debt with this man for the rest of my life. "I do not understand how, but I am truly and deeply thankful for this second chance. Thank you, Adrian."

He gasps loudly when I press a kiss to his cheek. Then he wraps his arms around me hugging me tightly. Without thinking, I wrap my own arms around his torso and hold back the tears. Even though things between us didn't work, that doesn't mean we can't be friends, right? We have known each other for a long time, and we have gone through so much together. Perhaps we can move past the hurt and start anew.

"It is you," Adrian whispers a little out of breath. "I thought you were a ghost or that I was going mad… More than I already am. I am sorry, Rose. I am sorry for everything. When I saw you dying…"

"Hush," I chastise gently yet firmly to stop his mad rant about the horrible memory of my death. I don't want to think of the darkness, frostiness and emptiness. I can't think of the lack of body, feeling so helpless hearing everyone express their grief but unable to soothe them. "We are alive. That is all that matters. The past is the past and should remain there."

"I could not agree more," as if there weren't enough surprises for the night, Yeva decides to grace us with her presence. It's scary how frail she looks like if she moves she will break in half. However, she surprises me by moving with confidence towards me. If I look closely though, I can see her hands shaking. "The past is the past. Live the present and long for the future. You all have done exceptionally well. Granted, there were times I wanted to turn you all into mules, but I did not, so you are welcome." A fragile yet genuine smile parts her dry as parchment lips. Just as suddenly as the smile appeared, it's gone. Yeva turns serious and crosses her hands behind her back. "I must speak to my grandson, Rose and Lord Ivashkov alone."

After brief seconds of hesitation, everyone in the room starts to slowly and silently march out except for Dimitri, Adrian and myself. My heart begins to hammer inside my chest afraid of the conversation we are to have with Yeva. Her tone of urgency and seriousness cannot bring good news. Dread slowly starts to settle in the pit of my stomach making me feel sick to the core and causing my breathing to become ragged. Dimitri must sense the fear gripping me, for he practically races to my side and pulls me into his arms. His warmth calms me down considerably.

"There is nothing to fear," Yeva smiles reassuringly though I can see a hint of worry in her eyes. "Sit." She extends her hands out to the plush chairs by the fireplace.

I turn to Adrian, who merely nods, then to Dimitri, who takes my hand and leads me to one of the chairs. Adrian sinks into the chair in front of me while Dimitri allows Yeva to sit next to me as he stands behind me keeping his hands on my shoulders to remind me he is here; he will always be here for me. I take a seat as close to the fire as possible. After regaining use of my body, I felt the cold sink to my very bones. The chill doesn't go away only briefly when I am in Dimitri's arms.

"The cold will go away." Yeva says as she reads my thoughts again. "The chill will linger until your soul adapts to being back in the realm of the living." She pauses, and I feel Dimitri tense behind me as if bracing himself for the catch. "The reason I wanted to speak to you three alone is because the less people that know of this, the better. Cheating Death does not come without consequence."

I swallow loudly as Dimitri's fingers dig into my shoulders and Adrian inhales sharply. I close my eyes tightly to calm my fear. Of course I expected this. Nothing in life is free. "Can Death reclaim me?" I ask quietly opening my eyes to make eye contact with Yeva hoping she won't lie to me. If this happiness and life are temporary, I want to know. This time, I will make every second count. I will bid my goodbyes to all my loved ones properly.

"No." She shakes her head to emphasize her answer. "Death should not have claimed you to begin with. Lord Ivashkov managed to rearrange the curse as your heart beat for the last time. But Death does not like being outsmarted. It fought to keep you in his realm; It was fighting a lost battle. The consequences are far direr if you ask me. Cheating Death leaves a mark, and since you have done it twice, God knows how you will be affected." Once again, she pauses and makes eye contact with Dimitri, whose body is tense and stiff, behind me. Without looking at me, she continues. "Those who have died and returned from the realm of the dead are kissed by shadows. They have otherworldly abilities that I will not wish upon anyone. Some of them are capable of feeling Death approaching," her eyes return to mine at that like she knows that's what I can do. "Others can speak or see the dead."

The temperature in the room seems to drop at Yeva's revelation, and the coldness in my body increases. The hairs on the back of my neck stand at the simple thought of being capable of communicating with the dead. Is it not enough that I feel death hanging over people's heads? After the accident, in which I supposedly broke my neck and almost died in my childhood, did leave a mark in me. I can feel death on people and animals. I may not know how they will die, but I do know their time is coming. It's a feeling I get whenever I look at someone who is going to die soon. Sometimes it's the temperature of their skin, colder than ice, other times it's the smell of moist earth on them, and sometimes it's just a feeling in my gut as if I may vomit whenever I'm near to someone who's close to death.

"Great. This is just what I need to speak to the dead." I groan and shiver involuntarily just thinking of talking or seeing the dead.

"It is not certain you will be able to see the dead or speak to them. This sort of thing affects people differently." Yeva continues in a whisper.

Adrian leans forward his eyes focused intensely on Yeva like a child eager to learn, but when his eyes briefly meet mine, I see he's worried. He wants to learn as much as possible about how this will affect me or rather us. Though it is terrifying to think of people out there being capable of raising the dead, it is a relief to know we may not be alone. Perhaps we could speak to these people and learn to deal with the consequences that are to come. When Adrian finally speaks, he too speaks in a whisper as if the walls could hear. "You mean there are more people out there who have come back from the dead?"

"There were. Humans have been afraid of the extraordinary and unexplainable since the beginning of time. As I have said, those kissed by shadows were capable of speaking to the dead, feel death, or see the departed. Most of them were tried for witchcraft and pacts with Satan and in the end burned alive." She turns her eyes on Adrian. "And those who raised the dead were known as necromancers or users of Spirit. I am afraid the Spirit users met a far more terrible end. The necromancers were driven to madness by the voices of the dead begging, demanding to be reawakened, and in the end, the darkness became too much and most Spirit users ended their lives. The last Spirit user was my sister Rhonda. She was, thankfully, able to live a full life and perish after five hundred years. However, since she was old, she knew how to handle the darkness and madness. Your case is more complicated, Ivashkov. Not only did you bring Rose back, but you also broke the curse of another witch. Even though Rhonda is your ancestor, interfering with another witch's curse is dangerous, for it will also drive you closer to insanity."

Yeva grows silent and licks her dry lips. The three of us remain in silence trying to process the information we were just given. As she said, the consequences are more severe than I thought. Dying is a lot more peaceful, I think. Considering that from now on I will have to deal with knowing people I know will die, but I won't be able to help. On top of that, I will probably see or speak to the dead. How terrifying will that be? To one day wake up and see myself surrounded by ghosts all demanding to be listened to? What if they are violent? And poor Adrian; he will be driven mad. Worst of all, if our abilities are known by the public, the church will sentence us to death and all of those who dare protect Adrian and me. Not only could I die, but Dimitri, Lissa, Mom, Dad, Christian, Mason and all the people we care about could too.

Dimitri sighs defeated and moves away from me. He begins to pace muttering softly in Russian, but at least he's not throwing stuff around or cursing his grandmother for the turn of events. "You could have warned me about the consequences for Roza."

"I am warning you," Yeva shakes her head and snorts as she glares at her grandson as if he is an ungrateful son of a bitch.

"He means you should have warned us before Adrian did what he did, and I did what I did." I reply raising my voice with every word and standing up to glower down at the weak and elderly witch who must make everything so fucking complicated.

"I make things complicated? Let me say that is shit. You make things complicated. No one talks to anyone. Secrets over here, secrets over there!" She throws her hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Oh! You are one to talk about fucking secrets! You kept from me who and what I am for ages! I begged you to tell me and you just acted all cryptic!" Adrian throws his head back and laughs humorlessly as he rises to his feet as well. Crimson colors his cheeks and a vein pulsates in his neck. "You…"

"Enough!" Dimitri shouts making me jump a little by the authority in his voice. He may no longer be an Alpha, but he is still a lord. Besides, it surprises me he's defending his crazy grandmother when it is clearly her fault. "It is not Babushka's fault." He says shaking his head at me as if he can read my thoughts now. "If anyone is at fault, it is I. I brought the curse upon us, and I am deeply sorry you are paying for my actions, Roza. You as well, Ivashkov. If it had not been for you, Rose would be gone so thank you. I know an apology will not help the matters. You will still pay the consequences. We all will. However, arguing is not the solution. I do believe Babushka has one." He stares at Yeva pointedly as if asking her to come through for him and not to let him down.

She shrugs and shakes her head. "I have no way to undo what has been done. You cannot change the past; you should know that, Dimka. But I do have a suggestion: keep your mouths shut about all of this. No one speaks of the curse or how it was broken. Let people think you are still a werewolf. Let them hunt you down. It does not matter. The Steppe wolves are here to protect the true Belikov heir." Her eyes shine brightly with excitement and some color seems to return to her paling cheeks. "As for you both," she says to Adrian and me. "I do not have much time left. My powers are weakening, and I will perish soon. In the meantime, I will teach you everything I know. Soon enough we will discover what you will be capable of, Rosemarie, and you will learn to control the madness, Ivashkov. Now, I believe Ivashkov has something to say to Rose. Come, Dimka."

As Yeva makes her way towards the door, Dimitri stands frozen staring at Adrian, who looks confused like he doesn't know what the hell Yeva is talking about. For a second, I fear Dimitri will refuse and a fight might break out. Everyone knows Adrian is not Dimitri's favorite person, and the last time I was left alone with Adrian, he almost killed me. However, my Russian surprises me by simply giving me a small kiss on my forehead before following Yeva out and leaving me alone with Adrian Ivashkov. The following seconds are filled with tension and awkwardness. I stare at the cackling flames dancing in the fireplace contemplating what Yeva has just said and wait for Adrian, who looks like he rather be anywhere else than in this room with me, to speak.

Could it be so terrible to be able to talk to the dead? Never mind that speaking to them will be scary as hell because hearing voices from the other world, the world I escaped from, won't be pleasant. But maybe the ability will come in handy. I could speak to Alberta and all of those who have died. I could relay messages from the dead to relatives or something. On the other hand, seeing the dead is an ability I do not want. Who wants to see fucking ghosts with bony fingers, rotting flesh crawling with maggots and empty, hollow eyes? Not me. And then what will happen to my children? Will they inherit the ability too, or does this only happen to those who have died? I guess I'll find out one day, though I wish my children won't be cursed with this.

"Rose?" Adrian waves his hand in front of my eyes snapping me out of my disturbing thoughts. His eyebrows are almost knitted together with worry and his mouth forms a thin line as he looks me over. "Are you all right? You looked like you had gone somewhere…" He trails off waiting for me to elaborate.

"I did not go to the realm of the dead if that is what you think," I chuckle but it sounds off because suddenly I get the idea that maybe I will have to do that to speak or see the dead. I swallow loudly and try to shake off the coldness by standing up and pacing in front of the fireplace. "I am fine. Anyway, what did you want to talk about?"

He stares at me for a while unsure that I speak the truth. Once he is sure I'm not about to tune out again or something, he lowers his head to look down at the floor and shrugs. "I have nothing to say. I do not know why Yeva said I had to speak to you. I suppose it is to apologize for almost killing you and being an ass." He shrugs again, and I don't see the most powerful man in Europe, the soon-to-be leader of the thirteen lords. I see a broken man with a gift that may lead him to madness or worst, death. I swallow the lump in my throat and try to make the situation light.

"You suppose you are sorry?" I chuckle lightly and arch my eyebrow the way Dimitri does.

"You two are so alike," he whispers after staring at me in silence. "You are one soul in two bodies. Soul mates. We were never soul mates, were we?"

The lump gets bigger threatening to choke me as my eyes sting with unshed tears. Struggling to speak without my voice breaking, I look down at my interlaced hands. "No, Adrian. We never were, and I am sorry for that. You do not have to apologize for what you did. I drove you to that. I betrayed you, and I understand if you hate me and can never forgive me. But I love him, and he…"

"He loves you." He finishes for me with a small, sad smile and eyes glistening with tears. Before speaking again, he clears his throat several times as if to control his voice. "When we realized your heart stopped beating, Belikov howled like a pitiful wounded animal. I have never heard a most bone chilling howl full of powerful sadness and deep grief. And when I looked into his eyes, there was nothing. They were black holes of nothing like his soul had died, like he had died. In that moment, I realized that he loves you more than I ever could love you because I have sinned, Rose. I am the last person to judge you." Adrian shakes his head and stops talking for several minutes.

I give him space and time to put his thoughts in order, but I am thoroughly confused. I try not to dwell on what Adrian said about Dimitri and instead focus what he means by 'the last person to judge you.' When the confusion and silence begins to drive me mad, I decide it's time to fish for answers.

"What are you saying, Adrian? I cannot… I do not comprehend."

"I betrayed you," he says after visibly struggling to speak. "Please understand that I am deeply sorry, and that was the last time I did it… I swear…"

"Adrian, I..."

"After the attack on my birthday and you left for Istanbul days later, I was deeply upset by the death of my mother, and I know I promised not to drink, but…"

I chuckle lightly and sit next to him grabbing his hands. "If you are trying to apologize for breaking your sobriety promise, no offense, but that is nothing compared to what I did to you."

"No, Rose. Allow me to finish. I was drunk, and I had an affair with… Sydney Sage. Yes, the Sydney you know." He shoots up from the chair and takes to pacing in front of me furiously. "She and I had a fling before I asked you to marry me, hell, it was before we even… When you and I became a couple, I put an end to all my affairs. But that one night, I was drunk, I was weak, I was foolish…"

"Adrian," I hold up a hand to stop his rambling unable to hear any more. I, too, rise from my seat and take to pacing trying to wrap my head around the idea of Adrian and Sydney together. It is not hard to do so. She grew up in Budapest; she took care of Adrian's mother. And the way she seems to hover over him, their relationship is plain to see. I was too stupid and wrapped up in my own world to really see it, so I start to laugh causing Adrian to stare at me like I have lost my mind. "What a mess. I am not upset, Adrian."

"Why? Because you do not have to feel guilty anymore?" He raises his eyebrows at me.

"Well, yes. As awful as this sounds we are even. However, do not think that I would be vengeful. I did what I did with Dimitri for love, and I think you feel something for Sydney too. I am happy if that is the case not because I will not feel guilty, but because you are not alone. There is hope for you to find someone who will love you like you deserve, like I never could. Trust me Sydney is madly in love with you. I can see it in her eyes." Once more I approach him and grab a hold of his hands. "I think you can be very happy with her."

Adrian sighs deeply and shakes his head slowly as his left hand caresses my cheek. "I still love you, Rose. I may not love you like your Russian, but I cannot easily forget you. I need time to heal because you did break my heart. Granted, as you said, we are even now, but that does not mean this hurts any less. However, I am ready to move on and to wish you the best with Belikov because you deserve all the happiness and love in the world, Little Huntress." And then his lips part in a brilliant, genuine smile that I have not seen in a long time.

"Oh, Adrian." I can't hold back the tears anymore, so I start to cry while wrapping my hands around him. He doesn't hesitate to embrace me back, which pleasantly surprises me, and he goes as far as kissing the top of my head repeatedly. Suddenly, it feels like everything will be all right. It feels like we can move on past the hurt we caused each other because the good things, the good memories, overwhelm the bad ones. I don't want to lose Adrian as my friend, and for his reaction, I'm sure he doesn't want to lose me either. After standing in each other's embrace for a while, I step back and look up at him with red trimmed eyes and moist cheeks. With a small smile, I raise my right hand to wipe his cheeks with the back of my hand. "I wish you well. I wish you the best wherever and with whoever it may be. I love you, Adrian."

He seems unable to speak and just nods his head before turning around and walking away from me. At the door though, he stops and turns around to look at me standing still by the fire and watching him go. "I love you too." He whispers before opening the door, and leaving me wondering if I'll ever see him again.

Exhausted by the emotional rollercoaster and all the information I have received, I slump down a chair and cross my arms over my chest as I stare at the fire slowly dying. I should go find Dimitri and my family. Being alone right now is not one of my priorities. Not only because I want to spend every waking hour with my loved ones, but if I am to see or speak to the dead, I rather not be alone when that happens. But I am so exhausted; I just want to stay in this chair forever and not move. I struggle to keep my eyes open, but they feel heavy and itchy. As my eyelids flutter open and closed, I swear I see a dark shadow move in front of me. I sit up wide awake and look around the room swallowing loudly and ignoring the loud thumping of my heart. The room is empty, and I chastise myself for my nerves. It was nothing. I imagined it. Surely…

A hand grips my right shoulder tightly making me jump up and scream my head off. Suddenly, the room is filled with people, voices erupting everywhere calling my name and rushing to my side gripping my arms demanding my attention.

"Roza!" Dimitri stands in front of me holding my face gently between his calloused hands. His eyes are wild with fear as he looks me over trying to see if I am harmed in any way. "What happened?"

My heart still hammering and my throat tight with fear, I am unable to answer his question. I can only look around hoping not to see the dead. But, I am surrounded by the living. My family stands around me panicked for my shriek of fear. Finally, my eyes land on Eddie, who stands behind the chair I was sitting in, and I finally understand that he startled me. That's all. No ghosts, no shadows, nothing to fear.

"I am sorry," I breathe out. "Eddie startled me that is all."

"I understand," Eddie lowers his head to look at his feet in what can only be shame. "I have done things, of which I am not proud of, that instilled fear in you. If you wish me to leave…"

"Shut up," I chuckle lightly and turn to Dimitri. "Give me a few minutes with Eddie. Please?"

"Roza…" He growls his protest and slowly begins to shake his head. "I am not leaving you alone. We do not know when the consequences will manifest. It is best if you are near me."

"I know, but I need to speak to Eddie. I will not be alone. Please?" Batting my eyelashes at him, I finally manage to get five minutes with Eddie. As everyone files out of the room again, I smile reassuringly at them promising that nothing is wrong, and I am genuinely fine. Though they do not seem convinced, they will not defy Dimitri standing by the door glaring at all of them to leave us. Some things never change, I realize with a small, fond smile.

"Five minutes," Dimitri warns before shutting the door behind him leaving me with Eddie.

"I am sorry for shrieking," I begin lamely after both of us standing awkwardly in silence. "I am just a little on edge."

"You are afraid of me," he says quietly. "All the things I have done…"

"Eddie, I dealt with werewolves as much as you did," I cut him off and walk towards him to prove my point. "Fearing them was drilled into our heads, but I knew you were in there somewhere. And knowing you, you would never hurt me." I reach out to hold his hands, but he pulls away and puts distance between us.

"But I did. I hurt you. I hurt your family, and I will never be able to express how sorry I am." He stops to clear his throat and wipe his cheeks angrily with the back of his hand. "Somehow, someday, Rose, I will make amends for all the pain and betrayal. Anything you need at all, I will do it for you and Janine and Abe." If it is possible, Eddie surprises me further by kneeling at my feet. "I do solemnly swear by the Almighty God and His Holy Name to pledge my life to you, milady, Rosemarie Hathaway Mazur."

Dumfounded, I stare at Eddie at my feet waiting for me to accept his pledge. He doesn't move a muscle as he waits, and I know he would wait forever if necessary. Though Eddie is sworn to my father, it must be a big deal for him to break his old oath to him for me. This is important for Eddie, that much I know. If this will bring him whatever peace he seeks, I will grant it to him even though all I want is for him to be the old Eddie I love. "Raise, Edison Castile. I accept your pledge."

"Thank you, milady." He stands up stiffly and stares at me as if waiting for a command.

I wait for him to say anything else, but he just remains stiff as a wall staring and waiting. I do notice his eyes dance around the room as if searching for any threat. "Eddie, you are still my friend. Nothing has changed. Please understand that whatever you did, it was not you. You were being controlled and…"

"With all due respect, milady, I do not need your words of compassion. I do not deserve them. What is your command, milady?" His body is stoic and his face emotionless leaving no room for more argument on the matter. Immediately, I regret taking his oath. Eddie is still not back. He's somewhere deep inside this shell standing in front of me. He is drowning in guilt and pain.

With a sigh, I let it go for now. I shouldn't push his buttons too much. "Please find Dimitri. Tell him I need him. As for you, get some rest and when you find the old Eddie, tell him I miss him and want him back." With that, I turn away from him and stare at the wall. I hear his light footsteps moving away and out the room.

It's not long before I feel Dimitri's arms wrap around my waist. I close my eyes and sigh relieved to be back in his embrace, and I can forget how things are still shit and will continue to get shittier. But with Dimitri by my side, I can conquer it all. His hands push my hair to the side, and he lowers his mouth to my neck leaving open mouthed kisses up and down. Immediately, my breathing picks up and the moans build in my chest.

"You want to talk?" He says between feathery bites on my shoulder.

"No." I turn abruptly around and pull him against me. "I want to fuck."

His mouth is on mine without hesitation as he lowers me gently to the ground in front of the fireplace. As he continues to assault my body with searing kisses, my hands reach impatiently for the waist of his pants pushing them down to free his throbbing erection. I grab his hard cock between my hands and begin to move up and down as his hands pinch my sensitive nipples over my dress. My thumb swirls around the tip eliciting a growl from him. In return he frees my breasts from the corset and bites down hard on my left nipple. The room is soon filled with his groans, my moans, and our heavy breathing as I continue to pump him hard, and he swirls his tongue around my taut nipples. Eventually he seems to also grow impatient to be one once more, so he lifts the fabric concealing my center. He pushes my hand away using his own to slowly guide himself into me gazing into my eyes as he does so.

"I love you," he whispers as every inch slides deliciously slow into me causing my eyes to almost roll to the back of my head. "Ya lyublyu tebya, Roza."

"And I love you," I say through the moan erupting from my mouth as he begins to move in and out savagely. "I love you, Dimitri."

He grunts as his hands push my legs further apart to get more room to move and go in deeper than he ever has before. The moans slowly build into screams of pleasure as my hands dig into his shoulders, and I can't hold on anymore. I arch my back as my muscles clench around him signaling my coming orgasm. Soon enough, pleasure courses all over my body setting my flesh on fire with passion and love, and as I gaze up at Dimitri still thrusting viciously into me and growling like an animal, I see the shadow again lurking behind him. I let out a blood curling shriek as the shadow moves closer to the light revealing the rotting face of Isaiah.

AN: I do apologize for the lateness of the update. I lost my muse for a couple of days. As always and forever thank you for the reviews and warmest welcome to the new readers! I have some good news: as I announced on twitter, this story will be expanded just a bit more due to the end of this chapter, I have some explaining to do wouldn't you agree? I hope you all like the idea and enjoyed this chapter. Finally, let's all send my beta, Romi, lots of love because she's crazy busy with important stuff ;) We love you girl! I do apologize deeply for any mistakes which are completely mine since I said Romi is quite busy. Kay, thanks for your patience and till next chapter! :D