This takes place during Full Circle, while the rest of SG1 is preparing to go to Abydos.
The movement caught Jillian's eye, so she looked up just as the door of the office closed with a decisive click. By itself. She was staring at it curiously when the office was suddenly filled with a light that blinded her. A moment later, Daniel was standing on the other side of the table, wearing his robes from Abydos – which she knew was impossible really since she had used those robes on the table that served as his memorial at the house.
Without any kind of preamble Daniel launched into one of his rapid fire requests.
"I need you to go to Abydos with SG1. You're more fluent in Egyptian and in Abydionian than Jonas. You can read all my notes. They're going to need all the help they can get."
Jillian took a deep breath, hands braced on the table.
"No, Daniel," she whispered, "I'm not going to Abydos."
He looked shocked. Jillian had never denied him anything, from the smallest to the greatest thing he had ever asked. His eyes darted back and forth like a startled school of fish.
"What?"
"I'm not going to Abydos," she repeated. The shadows of night fell in her eyes
"Why?" He bit the word off sharply.
"Because you shouldn't need me to," she answered. Thunder rolled in her voice, no matter that she had tried hard to keep her tone neutral.
She looked up at him and he was scorched by the fire in her eyes.
Damn. He had wanted her passion. He had wanted her anger. He should have been more careful what he wished for.
"It's Abydos, Daniel! The Abydonians are your people," she snarled – snarled! – at him. "They are your family; not ours. If they are in so much danger then you fix it!"
"I can't." He had the courage to sound impatient, as if she should understand by now.
"Shiong mao niao!" The fire in her eyes fueled the vehemence in the curse. "Of course you can; and you don't have the right to ask all of us to go risk our lives doing something you're too scared to do."
Daniel flinched.
"Jill, please, I'm not scared! You don't understand..."
"You're damn right I don't!" She stood up straight. She started speaking quietly but was shouting by the time she finished. "The man I loved was brave enough to risk his career to help the Tollan contact the Nox. The man I loved was brave enough to Gate to a Goa'uld mothership to stop an invasion and nearly got himself killed in the process. The man I loved shot his way through a plate glass window and risked an overdose of radiation to save a bunch of strangers who tried to blame him for the accident. You used to be utterly heedless of your own safety, Daniel. I never knew you to put someone else in danger while you stood off on the sidelines. But now Abydos is in danger and you don't have the balls to stand up to a bunch of glowing cuttlefish who seem to have all the moral standards of someone watching a kid hold a magnifying glass over an ant hill!"
She stopped finally, panting for breath and ignoring the tears that were stinging her eyes.
"Loved?" he said.
Jillian stared at him. "Is that the only word you heard me say?"
"It's a pretty important word," he said.
"I thought you felt that way, once- that love was important. I don't any more. I don't think you understand what it means for humans to love. You stood and watched while Teal'c was dying? Gave him comfort and support? Really? What happened to you, Daniel? Jiànhuò!" she demanded.
Daniel was staring at her, unmoving, stricken. The blend of fear and fury and frustration was powerful. It poured from her and it had teeth and claws. She was trembling with frayed nerves and shattered dreams.
"You were our moral center. You were the one pushing us out of the way of danger to risk it yourself. Is your status as one of the Ascended more important to you than our lives? When did that happen? What are you hoping for? You'll get us all killed and we can all ascend with you and live out the rest of eternity as a colony of sparkling jellyfish in the great beyond? Because you know what? From what I've seen I'd rather be dead - really dead - than live out my existence hamstrung from doing what I know is right the way you are now! Nǐ bú shì rén! Nǐ shì shénme dōngxi! "
A moment of brittle silence passed as she stopped again, rubbing her eyes with her fingertips. It didn't help. She was calmer when she finally looked at him and even the tears streaming down his face didn't seem to bother her. When she spoke again it was in a broken voice.
"I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry but I can't. I forgave you for dying. It made sense to me. It was totally in keeping with who you were. But I don't recognize you now. You're dead, Daniel. You don't live here and if you aren't supposed to interfere with us DON'T. You can't have it both ways anymore. Decide where you belong and if being Ascended is so damned important to you then go; and leave us the hell alone!"
"JILLIAN!" His voice swirled up out of frost-bound caverns and filled the room. It came from everywhere at once. It came from somewhere inside her soul.
The room turned cold, so cold that ice formed on the glass surfaces. His eyes were glacier blue, filled with a kind of chilling blankness. The room throbbed with power, with an icy slash of temper too terrible to imagine. Cold lightning seemed to spark and sizzle in the air.
Jillian began trembling, violently. Tears spilled. Her throat ached.
No, no, no, NO! She was not going to let him make her cry again.
"You're afraid of me," Daniel murmured.
"Yes," she admitted, "and I'm afraid for you."
For long moments neither of them spoke; neither of them moved and Jillian barely breathed.
The room gradually warmed.
He didn't meet her eyes.
"I have to go," he said, finally, "I'll be back."
"Not in this form, Daniel," Jillian said, lifting her chin defiantly. "Not again."
Light blinded her again and when she could finally open her eyes, he was gone. Saturated with emotion, Jillian sank into a chair, folded her arms on the table, dropped her head and burst into tears.
(0)
At the risk of being kicked off FF I am declining to translate exactly what Jillian says to Daniel in Mandarin. ;-)