Chapter 37

After this day, James said nothing and Lily waited for him to talk to her. Lily also wondered if she'd ever get the chance to talk with Snape he too seemed to avoid her.

Lily was unsure what to do and if she should ask James how he was feeling about the baby and if she should force Snape to talk to her and tell him about his son.

Lily so far had done neither. Life was to confusing right now.

It had been a month since it had all happen and the holidays were over with when another owl had shown up for her. Lily took the letter and opened it. There were three more pictures of her baby he was sitting and crawling and looked as though he was very well taken care.

Hello Lily, little Severus Evans is starting to walk and is very active.

We can hardly keep up with him. We hope everything is going fine for you.

The Johnsons.

Lily smiled as she looked at the pictures. Lily had tucked the letter into her pocket and shows no one the pictures. Lily figured it was best to keep some things quiet and figured she'd show them to Dumbledore, McGonagall and Pomfrey later.

The weather was still bitterly cold as she walked to her class the halls were so cold that their breath was fine mist in the air as they talked and breathed.

Lily walked into the classroom very pleased to see a large fire roaring merrily in the fireplace warming the room nicely. She was one of the only ones in the classroom so far. She had gone to class early. Lily sat down at a table. This class like the other classes was a mix of Slytherins, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuff and of course other Gryffindors.

Lily found she enjoyed the N.E.W.T. classes for this reason; it was a more mix of students from all four houses.

Lily was alone and looked with wide eyes as Snape sat down next to her. Lily smiled at him. Severus gave a fast flicker of a smile back. Lily felt it was a start.

"I noticed you had gotten a letter, is everything fine?" Snape whispered to her.

"Yes things are quite fine. I uh would you like to see…" she was still unsure how he would feel about having a son even if their headmaster believed he would be thrilled.

"What?" Snape asked unsure what she wanted to show him. After all they were in a classroom that was going to be filling up with other students soon.

"A picture"

"Oh" Snape looked a bit disappointed then thoughtful for a moment as he glanced toward the door as though trying to decide if he had time or should go to another table.

"Sure…. I guess…."

Lily pulled the pictures out and showed them to Severus who looked down at the adorable black eye baby with dark reddish black hair.

Snape watched the small baby crawling and sitting waving a toy and then chewing on it.

He looks like Lily with dark eyes and hair.

Snape glanced over at Lily wondering whose baby this was and why the baby seemed so eerily familiar, as though he should know the baby but doesn't understand why he doesn't know him.

"Sev…." Lily turned surprised to look at the door where she could hear several others heading to their class.

Lily turned back to talk to Severus only to see Severus up out of the seat and into another one on the other side of the room. Lily looked dejected as she hurriedly put the pictures into her pocket.

Lily smiled when James sat down next to her, in the seat that she figured hadn't cooled off from the time Snape had sat there.

James leaned over to Lily and whispered into her ear.

"You received more pictures huh?"

James stayed very close to her face as she looked to the side and gave a very soft nod.

"You going; to show me?" James asked just as soft in her ear.

"That depends on you, are you going to stop talking to me?" if there was even a tiny chance of that happening she was not going to show him anything.

James seemed to be pondering his answer. Lily wondered how hard it would be to see it for him. Lily tried to think how she'd feel about it and decided it would be hard for her but she would hope to get over it and love him and the baby.

"I can't lie; Lily, it's very hard for me. You shared something with him that…" James didn't say anything for several minutes although he did not pull away from her.

"That I never shared with you… I want too though…" James leaned his forehead on her shoulder.

"Please say we will even if we don't." James asked her, with his mouth talking quietly into her shoulder.

"Of course we will and we'll share even more then that." Lily whispered. James snuggled even closer to her, his other arm going around her waist.

"Please say your mine."

"I'm yours." Lily whispered just as low as he was talking.

Professor McGonagall had walked into the room and started talking right away.

James did not release Lily or remove his head, until McGonagall spoke to him directly.

"Potter, I am sure you are very comfortable but it's time to pay attention to the class, so please kindly let Miss. Evans go."

The class chuckled at the two sitting very embarrassed now.

James very reluctantly let her go and sat up straight listening to the teacher. James did reach over and held onto Lily's warm small hand.

Lily didn't dare look to see what Snape was doing behind her; she felt she knew he'd be glaring daggers at them. I'm sorry Sev, if I could just have you both? Lily thought desperately.

They were now working on transfiguring larger items. Lily had done a great job of changing her desk into a fat potbelly pig, which grunted and walked around the room before she changed him back.

"I'm going to talk to McGonagall after class." Lily told James as he packed his things away.

"Ok Evans, I'll see you in the common room."

"Sounds great," Lily waited for the rest of the students to leave then walked up to talk with Professor McGonagall.

"Professor, I have some more pictures." Lily pulled the letter and pictures out of her pocket and handed them over to Professor McGonagall.

"Ooh Lily he's so cute, he looks just like you except for his eyes and hair."

"Thank you; he is a doll, I was very happy to receive the new photos."

"I certainly understand that. A child is a precious gift." McGonagall handed her the pictures. "Better be off enjoying your free period before the next class."

"I will thanks." Lily took back the picture and walked out with a good bye to Professor McGonagall. She went to leave for the common room; she had a free period now.

Lily walked down the hall when Snape stepped out and walked along with her, his hands behind his back clasped as he walked, his robes swishing in a way that always fascinated Lily.

"You two seem very…close." Snape said softly, his voice sounded very controlled in a cold way.

"He's ….. Having some issues right now." Lily told him which she figured was true, James was upset over the baby that he did not share with her.

"I see."

Snape turned to leave when Lily called out to him.

"Sev, please don't hate me." Lily looked at him, her heart feeling as though it would split in half as he looked at her with cold eyes. Lily lowered her head, the sting of tears welling up.

Snape moved over to her, grabbing her by her arms. "I'd never ever hate you Lily, never, I swear it; you would be the last person I could ever hate." The strength of emotional sound in his voice made Lily realize it was true.

Lily flung her arms around his waist, holding him tight.

"Thank you Sev, that means so much to me."

Snape held her close to him, his eyes darting back and forth to make sure no one was walking toward them. Severus pulled his wand out and did a silent small protection shield around the two of them, as he heard voices walking in their direction.

"Lily please, don't cry, it hurts me to see you looking so upset and…. I… just want you happy."

Lily looked up into his dark eyes. "I am happy Sev, you said you didn't hate me, I was so worried that you did."

"Never Li," Snape pulled her close to him and kissed the top of her head.

Snape sat down on the floor with his legs crossed, pulling Lily down on his lap. Lily leaned her head against his shoulder.

"I just want to feel you near me for a moment, please." Snape whispered.

Lily smiled she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I don't mind at all, any time you want too."

The two sat there cuddled on the floor for a few minutes neither talking just holding each other close.

I shouldn't be doing this, I told James I was his girl. But I don't want to lose Sev, either.

What is the right thing to do?

Lily's feelings and thoughts were more confusing then ever. Right now though she was going to ignore them if it helped Severus, feel better.

The next two months went the same way. Lily would suddenly find Snape appearing out of no where and pulling her into a hug and then making a shield around them to sit and just hold her quietly, neither talking just holding each other. Lily loved it and secretly looked forward to Severus slipping up quietly and holding her gently.

Lily had given up after her third attempt at trying to follow after James to join the Marauders on one of the excursion outside during the full moon.

At that time she was walking through the dark corridors when a wheezing shout found her. Lily had turned to see Filch heading for her like a rampaging bull. Lily's heart sunk, she had been caught and was going to get detention from the ugly old git who prowled the halls constantly. Lily had started following him to his office as he went on a tirade of the rules she had been breaking and how she should be whipped at the very least for being out in the halls causing damage and destruction. Lily thought it rich of him since all she had done was walk down the halls at night.

She did get a very good idea from Filch as he complained about students using their wands in the hallways when it was completely against the rules of the school, as he was constantly telling others.

Lily figured she had nothing to lose at this point; she pulled out her wand and did the confounded charm on Filch. She had told him to head for his bed and get a good night sleep. Lily had watched him slouch off toward his room. Lily skipped back to her common room pleased with her self.

She was not the only one who was pleased with her, four Marauders' and been watching her anxiously on their map while heading back to help her after they had seen her run in with Filch and were very impressed to see Lily take her wand out and charm him into leaving her and going to bed.

They headed back to their own fun leaving Lily heading back to the common room. James may have continued heading to the corridor where Lily was, had he seen Snape's dot walking along the hallways himself.

As it was that night Lily had not seen Severus he was walking to meet some of his friends and had restrained him self from grabbing Lily and holding her in the quiet of the dark.

Of course the end of March brought around James seventeenth birthday and his coming of age. Lily had bought him several gifts excited to celebrate with him. He was pleased to receive a pocket watch from his parents and many sweets from others. They had a large party in the common room for him, where he danced with Lily and sat talking with her on the couch by the fire drinking fire whiskey. The party went long into the night with people forgetting that the twenty seventh landed on a Tuesday and they held the party then instead of putting it off for the weekend. The next morning many went to the hospital wing to get something for raging headache desease.