Animal I Have Become

Chapter 38

"I haven't been completely honest with you about everything,"

what the hell was that supposed to mean? Kendall just looked at Gabi confused after those words came out of her mouth. "what…what do you mean you haven't been completely honest?"

"you ever see a TV show or movie or read a book where one girl character is in an abusive relationship?" Gabi asked him.

"no," Kendall replied.

"well, lets take Kristina Corinthos-Davis for example," Gabi said. "on General Hospital, she was in a relationship with a guy named Kiefer Bauer, he hit her all the time and had her hospitalized twice but she still loved him more then anything,"

"Gabi, where is this going?" Kendall asked her confused.

"Kristina said she loved Kiefer, no matter how many times he hit her or yelled or abused her in anyway," Gabi said ignoring Kendall when he asked where this was going. "she always protected him saying that it wasn't his fault, she got him mad, it was her fault, that Keifer wasn't always abusive, he did love her,"

"Gabi, you are losing me," Kendall told her. "will you just tell me what you mean by this, what are you talking about?"

Gabi took a deep breath before speaking.

"like I said, I haven't been completely honest with you," Gabi told him. "Justin didn't ask me out to get his ex girlfriend jealous like I said, he asked me out because he really liked me and thought I was pretty and cute and he wanted to get to know me better,"

Gabi paused as she wiped away one of her tears that had fallen from one of her brown eyes.

"he didn't hit me after the first date because his plan didn't work," Gabi told him.

"what are you saying, he wasn't abusive, because that makes no sense considering what he did to you last year, how you got pregnant and how he put you in a coma with an ax handle," Kendall said. "that makes no sense,"

"I never said he wasn't abusive, I just said he didn't hit me on the first date and use me to get his ex girlfriend jealous," Gabi said.

"so, what are you saying then?" Kendall asked her.

"will you let me finish," Gabi told him.

Kendall nodded and stayed silent.

"the first few dates went great, he was sweet, nice, funny and seemed perfect," Gabi said. "He was great to me, he put me up on this pedestal like I was he most beautiful girl in the world, he really did love me"

Kendall contemplated for a moment on if he should say he didn't blame him, she was the most beautiful girl in the world, but now didn't seem like the best time considering what she was telling him.

"I fell in love with him Kendall, in only two months, I fell in love with him," Gabi continued as more tears fell from her eyes. "he wasn't abusive at that time, he was great and perfect to me, three months into that relationship is when I chose to sleep with him,"

Kendall just takes in those last few words. She chose to sleep with him. she loved him. she fell in love with him in two months. He was perfect to her. He put her up on a pedestal. He loved her.

"what do you mean you chose to sleep with him?" Kendall asked her.

"I loved him," Gabi said. "I wanted to prove it to him,"

"There are a lot of other ways of proving you love someone without sleeping with them," Kendall told her getting a little mad. "how old were you,"

"fifteen," Gabi told him.

"how old was he?"

"sixteen,"

"Gabi, he could have been arrested for statutory rape, most states for it to be consensual you have be sixteen or older,"

"he wasn't,"

"obviously, because look what still happened to you,"

"he wasn't always abusive to me," Gabi told him. "he wasn't until four months into the relationship, and just then it was a slap or punch, nothing serious,"

"Gabi, its sounds like your defending the guy, and you still love him"

"believe me, I am not defending him and definitely don't love him anymore,"

"sure doesn't sound like it,"

"I thought I loved him, of course I protected him until the abuse got bad to the point where my own best friend refused to talk to me until I dumped him, I then tried to get out because I realized he didn't love me like he said, he then threatened my life and I got scared of him and it got as bad as I said it did, he did rape me and that was how Hailie Jade was conceived, I guess I loved the way he lied," Gabi told him.

Kendall just looked at her.

"why didn't you tell me this before?" he asked her as he looked at her.

"I hadn't told anyone the full real story," Gabi told him.

"and you didn't think that when you told me your story you could have told me this?" Kendall asked her still mad.

"I knew how stupid I was and I definitely didn't need someone else telling me that I was stupid for protecting him and loving him when he obviously didn't give a damn about me, and I didn't need to hear how weak I was,"

"I wouldn't have told you that," Kendall told her. "I wouldn't have called you weak, I wouldn't have called you stupid, I would have still been on your side, I would have still felt the same way I felt about you then,"

"I'm sorry, ok, I was just under a lot of stress, I just found out that my brother died and I was pregnant, and I really needed someone, I didn't need to scare the one person who was going to be there for me away," Gabi told him.

"I can't believe you lied to me for almost a year,"

"I didn't lie to you, I just neglected to tell you a huge detail, and I am so sorry about that, I knew I shouldn't have been keeping that from you but, I just didn't know what the best way to tell you was,"

"you made me believe…" Kendall paused for a moment before speaking. "Gabi…I…last night, what we did,"

Kendall paused again.

"I need some time to process all of this," Kendall finally said. "I'll talk to you later,"

after Kendall said that, he walked away from her leaving her there to breakdown.