A/N: I am still working on the Dobsley story for those of you who are interested. I had to move it to my Tumblr, so you can find it here: DobsleyFanfiction
I won't say enjoy this update, but I will ask that you remember how much I love you all and how much I love Stefan and Elena. If you want, you can find someone to hold while you read.
"How hot do you think it is out here?" Elena asked. Her eyes were closed and her head was resting against his bare chest. They were lounging under the sun by the river's edge after having cooled off in the water following their morning chores. Elena didn't know what time it was, but they had been out there for a while, too lazy to get up and be productive.
Stefan's left hand was flat against her stomach, occasionally gliding it against her now dry skin when he felt the need to. The bright pink bikini top paired with denim shorts had been the best decision she had ever made as far as he was concerned. His other hand was playing with her damp hair, brushing the tangles out with his fingers. He wanted nothing more than to lay like that with her for the rest of the afternoon, until it was time to head back for the evening chores.
Stefan looked up at the sun, trying to figure out how warm it is. "I reckon it's nearly 90 degrees right now" he said, taking a guess. It was hot out, but the breeze and being next to the river made it comfortable.
Elena sighed contently, feeling her skin start to get warm. "I'm too hot" she said, sitting up and looking down at him.
Stefan had an amused smile on his face as he played with the ends of her hair that fell over her bare shoulders. "I agree" he told her. Elena laughed as she swung her leg over him, sitting on his lower abs so she could continue to look down at him. Her smile was playful and he was thankful for that. She seemed happy, even though her aunt and brother were leaving the next day. "You ready to head back yet?" he asked, looping his fingers through the belt loops on her shorts.
Elena caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she shook her head no. She leaned down, pretending she was going to kiss his lips, butthen kissing the corner of his mouth instead. "Do I look ready to go back yet?" she asked.
The seductive tone in her voice had him intrigued. And the little love bite she gave him on his neck got his attention. Stefan sat up and locked his arms around her to pull her closer. His lips were on hers instantly, leaving her little time to complain about his sudden takeover.
If there was one change she loved most, it was that his kisses were needier than they had been in the beginning. And it was always nice to feel needed. Elena placed her arms around her neck, adding to their close embrace while the make-out session unfolded.
As they continued to kiss, Elena felt a tingling sensation on the back of her right calf and it made her smile. "That tickles" Elena said breathlessly before she began kissing him once again. His fingers must have been lightly skimming across her skin.
Stefan waited for his turn to talk in between their kisses, wondering what she was talking about. "What tickles?" he asked.
Elena moaned softly against his mouth. "You touching my leg" she answered. She felt him do it again and it made her giggle. "Stop" she warned. She couldn't focus on his mouth when his fingers were teasing her skin.
"I'm not touching your leg" Stefan said, attempting to kiss her again. Elena's head turned abruptly and his lips landed on her cheek as she looked back at her leg.
There was about a two second lag between the calm Elena and the shrieking Elena. On her leg she found a cricket crawling around. "BUG!" she screamed as she rolled off of Stefan. "Get it get it get it!" she yelled, shaking her leg so quickly that Stefan found it challenging to grab her leg to hold it still.
He shook his head and laughed at her. "Gone" Stefan said, checking her leg over. He still wouldn't trade her for a down home Wyoming country girl though. He liked that little bit of city girl in her.
Elena glared at him. "That's not funny" she told him.
"Was so" Stefan smiled. He reached his hand out to her and she swatted it away. "Don't be like that" he said, trying again to grab her. He couldn't help it. It wasn't every day that a person around there freaked out over a bug.
Elena got up quickly, carefully navigating the rocks as she moved away from him. Unfortunately for her, he'd been barefoot since he able to walk, so the sharp rocks didn't slow him down one bit as he ran after her.
"Give me a head start!" Elena called out just as Stefan's arms caught her. She laughed when she felt her feet leave the ground. Stefan was carrying her towards the water, and it brought back memories of when he had dumped her in the water trough.
Stefan trudged through the water with her and once he was up to his waist, he jumped backwards, taking her under the water with him.
Elena surfaced first, wiping her wet hair off of her face. When Stefan resurfaced, she splashed him. "You are SO lucky you are cute" she told him.
Stefan smiled, swimming towards her. Once he reached her, she wrapped herself around him, enjoying the closeness once again. As he looked into her eyes, he saw so much love and trust in them. He wanted to do everything he could to keep that there. If she loved him and trusted him, she would want to stay with him. "You know" he said softly, floating there with her. Elena looked at him intently, expecting him to say something charming. "It was just a little bug" he said. A slow smirk spread across his face as he watched her smile.
"You know" she said, mimicking him. "You should just shut up and kiss me" she told him.
"Ain't that what I've been doin' all afternoon?" he asked. "Kissin' you?" he reminded.
Elena's lips brushed against his lightly. "Are you complaining?" she asked.
Stefan shook his head and smiled. "Nope" he replied, both laughing as they kissed.
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The mood at the dinner table that night was somber with everyone realizing that Jenna and Jeremy would be leaving the next afternoon to go back home to Virginia. Jeremy and Ric appeared the most bummed about it. Jeremy really loved Wyoming and Stefan, while Ric really loved Jenna and secretly hoped she would move there. Although he and Jenna had spent the nights in his bed and spent every waking hour together, Jenna had still insisted that they were friends and that they couldn't be anything more than friends. With benefits.
Of course Ric was heartbroken over it, but he understood. He was asking a lot of Jenna by suggesting she move to Wyoming.
Stefan was sitting next to Elena, kicking her foot playfully under the table to keep her spirits up. It got her to smile at least. Although she wouldn't admit it, Stefan could tell she was sad that Jenna and her brother were leaving after spending less than a week with her.
Jenna was determined to keep the night positive though, because the last thing she wanted was for anyone to be sad over their departure. "So Elena, are you going to do cheerleading this year?" she asked, hoping Elena would engage in the small talk that Jenna was trying to get going at the dinner table. And she really hoped that Elena would do cheerleading and get back to all her old interests for her final year of high school.
Elena froze, wishing she could rewind the moment so that her aunt did not ask her that question. Any other question would have been fine. But not that one.
"Oh, we don't have cheerleadin' at our school Ma'am" Stefan told Jenna, setting his fork down on his plate. He looked over at Elena, who was avoiding his eyes like crazy. Then it sank in. Jenna wasn't talking about Elena's school in Wyoming. Jenna was referring to Elena's school in Virginia. Which could only mean one thing.
Jenna looked between Stefan and Elena, taking only a moment to realize that Elena hadn't told Stefan that she was coming home at the end of the summer. And judging by the look on Ric's face, he wasn't aware either. "You didn't tell them you were coming back home at the end of the summer" Jenna said sadly. She was upset with herself for letting everyone, namely Stefan, find out this way.
Stefan's chair scraped across the hardwood floor as he stood, suddenly no longer hungry. "Stefan sit down" Ric ordered. Ric wanted them to talk about this, not walk off.
But Stefan did just that.
Elena sat quietly, listening to Stefan's boots walk across the floor. Then there was the opening and slamming of the screen door as he walked outside. She felt too guilty to defend herself to anyone. Though, the only one she needed to defend herself to was Stefan.
Elena waited until Ric, Jenna and Jeremy began clearing the table before she made herself get up and go find Stefan. The light in the barn was on and she knew that would be the only place he would be, unless he went riding.
When she got inside the barn, she could see him moving about at a brisk pace, throwing grain in buckets forcefully. His face was neutral, but his eyes told her what she didn't want to know. He was hurt. Stefan didn't bother to stop and acknowledge her. "I'm sorry" Elena said quietly, standing there as Stefan walked by her repeatedly.
"Sorry you're leavin' or sorry you lied?" he snapped, brushing past her once again.
Elena's expression hardened. "I didn't lie" she said defesnively.
"You didn't tell me either" he barked, slamming a stall door shut. Elena hadn't seen him this angry at her since she had tried to hitch a ride back home with a truck driver. That hadn't been one of her finer moments.
Elena took immediate offense to his argument. "What do you want from me?" she asked angrily. But suddenly, she had a feeling that maybe he wasn't just angry about her leaving or the fact that she didn't tell him she was planning on leaving.
Stefan threw the scooper down that he had been using to feed out the grain. "Honesty, maybe?" he asked, spinning to face her. "I've told you how I feel 'bout you, but you skirt 'round the issue when it comes to talkin' 'bout how you feel, like you're afraid to tell me how you really feel 'bout me!" he shot at her. Yes, the frustration he was feeling boiled down to the fact that he wanted her to feel the same way about him that he did her. He had been willing to wait and give her the time she needed to develop those feelings, but obviously he had run out of time. She was leaving.
His words hit her hard and Stefan could see her go from being angry to utterly crushed that he would throw something filled with so much vulnerability in her face like that. She had issues, and he should have been more understanding. Elena took a step towards him, her eyes narrowing in on his. "You want to know how I feel about you?" she asked. Her voice was shaking, preparing for a fight she didn't want to have. Elena took another step forward, her hands coming down forcefully on his chest as she shoved him backwards. Well, tried to. He really only lost his balance for a second. "You want me to tell you that I love you?" she asked as the first tear fell down her face.
Elena hit him again, wishing he wouldn't see how scared and hurt she really was. She never, ever wanted to have this conversation with him. "Is that what you want?" she screamed suddenly, hitting him for a third time. This time, Stefan grabbed her wrists to prevent her from hitting him any further. It didn't hurt, but he didn't want her to feel guilty later on for something she was about to do.
"Do you love me?" Stefan asked suddenly. His voice was cool and collected now, reeling from the possibility that Elena might actually love him. It took Elena a moment to realize that the fight she had in her had vanished. And all it took was his calm voice bringing her back. Stefan was good for her, and she'd be a liar if she denied that. She continued to cry softly. Being that close to him with so many vulnerable feelings made it impossible for her not to cry. And he seemed okay with that, just letting her get it out. But he still wanted an answer, so he repeated his question quietly. "Do you love me?" he asked, searching her eyes.
Elena focused on breathing in and out slowly, wanting to regulate at least some part of herself. "I won't love you" she told him sadly.
The look in her eyes told Stefan that she did love him, so her telling him that she wouldn't love him was puzzling. She was scared. That had to be it. He wanted to take that fear from her and make sure it never came back. "Would you love me if I loved you?" he asked her. Maybe his commitment would help her with hers.
Elena pulled one of her hands from his and wiped at a tear slowly falling down her cheek. "No" she answered. That would make it worse. Stefan wanted an explanation and she could see that in his eyes. He deserved one after the way he had treated her so far that summer. He was gentle, kind, caring, understanding and most importantly, he made her want to be a better person. Better than the one she had been the past year.
"Elena, please" he begged, reaching his hand up to touch her face. "Tell me" he said sadly. He knew she was keeping something from him.
Elena's hand slowly reached up and covered the one on her face. She laced her fingers through his, wanting that extra physical contact when she answered him. "Everyone I love, leaves me" she whispered. If she had said it any louder, she knew that no words would have come out at all.
Stefan's eyes held her painful gaze until they couldn't anymore. "No" he said, shaking his head. His hand fell from her face as his entire body moved closer to her. He took her in his arms, not knowing what else to do. How did you take away someone's fear about losing the people you love? Especially when it had happened to Elena and the painful memory was still fresh in her mind, haunting her at night and reminding her during the day when she couldn't be with her parents.
Elena allowed him to hold her, but she didn't hold him back. "Please don't push me away because you think something is going to happen to me" he whispered. "That's no way to live, Elena" he told her. His heart ached for her, because this fear she had was real and it lived with her every day.
She could tell that he had started to cry as well, though he was doing a much better job at hiding it than she was. "I'm sorry" Elena said quietly. Her need to keep love out of the equation was purely self-preservation. It kept her safe from emotional pain. Elena made a move to untangle herself from his arms, but he resisted. "Please let go" she said as her chin rested on top of her shoulder. She hated seeing him so hurt. She had to get out of there.
Reluctantly, Stefan's arms slowly loosened until Elena could move away from him. She turned around, ready to leave the barn.
Stefan's head was down as he listened to her walk away. He needed to know something first though. "Elena, wait" he said. But Elena kept on walking. She was walking at a fast pace back towards the house, deciding that she was going to shower and go straight to bed. "Elena!" he said harshly, grabbing her arm and making her turn to face him. "Is that why you're leavin'?" he asked. "To shut me out of your life?" he questioned. Stefan didn't give her time to answer that. "Are you tellin' me that a year from now, after you've left and tried to forget about me, that if I die, it ain't gonna effect you?" he asked. "Cause it wouldn't matter to me how long we were apart. If somethin' ever happened to you, it'd destroy me" he told her, letting his tears fall freely.
Elena stepped forward and kissed him softly, a silent apology for all the pain she had caused him that evening. "You deserve someone who isn't as broken as I am" she whispered sadly. Her fears and her nightmares wouldn't just vanish because she loved him. They would only get worse.
Stefan fought the urge to keep ahold of her when she started to pull away from him again. But he let her go, wondering how in the hell they had shared a fun and relaxing afternoon together, only to end up broken-hearted and crying a few hours later. He thought she was happy, but maybe she was just pretending for him.
Her hand slipped away from his as she left him standing there alone.
A/N: Sorry : ( I'll hold Stefan for you all.