Tegan's POV

I haven't felt like this in months. The clammy hands, sweaty forehead and short, desperate breaths. All of it felt rather foreign now, but the imaginary burning sensation in my pocket from the old, wrinkled photograph threatening to scorch my thigh was a feeling I'd never forget. My fingers slide over my warm up sweats, grazing the edge of the picture peaking out. The image on it flashes behind my eyelids and my shoulders tremble. I try as hard as I can to keep my dinner down but the dry heaving involuntarily starts. I grip the edges of the sink and am thankful for the knock on the door to momentarily distract me. I straighten up, clearing my throat, and rub my hand over my stomach, trying to keep it calm.

"Come in," I croak, my mouth completely dry.

The door cracks open and Sara slides her tiny frame in. She takes a look at me through the mirror and is by my side in a heartbeat. She replaces her hand with mine, making small circles across my tummy, and wipes my sweat-drenched bangs off of my burning forehead. She puts the back of her hand to me, checking for a fever and asks, "What's wrong?"

"Pre-game jitters," I mumble, taking a sip of water. That was only slightly the truth, but Sara doesn't seem to notice.

"Are they always this bad?" She asks, pulling my hair back into a ponytail so I can wipe my face off with a cool, damp towel.

"Not quite this bad but yeah, pretty much," I groan, wiping my neck off and getting the collar of my shirt wet. I throw the towel in the laundry bin and walk into our bedroom, flopping down onto the sheets, staring at the ceiling. It doesn't do much to distract me. Sara sits down next to me and plays with my sprawled out fingers.

"What's got you this nervous?"

I close my eyes tight and roll to my side, facing away from her. She lets go of my hand. It isn't so much being nervous about the first game of the season, but that there was going to be two people missing in the stands. I slip my hand into my pocket and tighten my fingers around the folded picture. Sara's hand comes to rest on my shoulder, comfortingly, but I don't answer her question. I don't know how to.

"Hey," Sara whispers softly, putting pressure on my shoulder and turning me towards her. I look her in the eye, briefly, and feel awful. I want to show her the picture but I can't. It's the one part about me she'll never understand. Knowing that crushes me, but that's reality. My reality, unfortunately.

"What's going on in there?" Sara asks, tapping the top of my head with a small, delicate smile.

I look away from her face, dripping with concern, and quickly wipe the tears away before sitting up. I fidget with the zipper on my team jacket. "Can you get your mum?" I ask quietly. My stomach starts to churn again but I know it's not from the nerves this time rather the guilt eating away at me. I feel terrible for shutting her out.

Sara's expression falters for just a moment. If I had blinked, I would have missed it. But Sara being her perfect self, she smiles and squeezes my knee reassuringly before getting to her feet. "Sure, Tee. Whatever you need."

She leaves the room and a moment later Sonia walks in, shutting the door silently behind her. She smiles, just like Sara did at me. All full of love and a whole lot of worry. I'm able to genuinely smile back. I can't even being to express how appreciative and blown away I am that her and Bruce made the ten hour trip to come see me play. Casey and Emy are tagging along too. I'm completely surrounded by the people that love and care about me most, but I still feel so empty.

"Sara said you wanted to talk?" Sonia says in her calming, motherly voice.

I nod, getting off the bed and walking over to the window seat, sitting down. I lean against the wall and stare out the window but it's mostly just bushes barely visible on an autumn night. Sonia sits down next to me, folding her hands over her knee, crossed over her leg. I feel her gaze on me and pull the picture out and hand it to her without ever looking away from the window. I hear her unfolding it and take a quick glance from the corner of my eye. She's smiling but her eyes are full of sadness while scanning over the picture. A smiling six year old me, decked out in all new, top of the line hockey gear, standing with my parents at my very first hockey game. My mother held a scowl, upset that I was playing such a masculine sport, and my father barely the hint of a smile. I knew, even at age six, that this was how he would me show off to his friends and colleagues. His brand new shiny trophy. Looking back now, it seems like those things should have ruined the sport for me but I never questioned my love for hockey and nothing could ever ruin it. My first true love, I guess.

Eventually Sonia looks up at me, still smiling. I try to smile back.

"They never missed a single game, all those years. It was the one thing they did right." I cry, the tears flowing down my cheeks freely.

"Oh Sweetie, c'mere," Sonia frowns, pulling me into her arms. I cling onto her, hugging her tightly, and just let it all out. It's the only thing I have left to try to make me feel better. Sonia shushes in my ear and rubs her hands up and down my back. "Sara doesn't know about this?"

I shake my head, getting her blouse wet with my tears and running nose. I pull away and wipe my face off on my sleeve. "She just hates them so much and as much as I hate them too, I still love them, you know? They're my parents and they always will be."

"I know, Tegan. I know it's hard," Sonia soothes, wiping a few stray tears away, "but no one, not even Sara, can tell you what to do or feel when it comes to them. If you want to contact them or even just let yourself cry over them once in a while, that's your choice. But I also want you to know that you have a great group of people in your life that love and support you no matter what. You'll never have to go through anything alone." She tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear and tilts her head towards the door, where everyone is waiting until we have to leave. "That girl Emy seems nice too."

I nod, agreeing. "She's a good friend."

"And Sara's been treating you well?"

"Of course. She's. . . well, she's perfect," I sigh, suddenly wishing she was back in the room.

"Do you want me to go get her?" Sonia asks, seeming to sense that she's said the right thing and that I need my girlfriend again.

I nod, hugging her tight before she goes. "Thanks for everything, Sonia. I love all of you guys so much and I'm blessed to have you."

She kisses my forehead and rubs my arms. "That's what I'm here for. Now perk back up, I want to see you kick some Cougar ass out on that rink tonight!"

Sara's POV

I've missed Dad so much since we've moved but for the life of me I cannot follow along to the story he's telling Casey, Emy, and I. All I can see is Tegan's heartbroken face every time I blink and I seem to be blinking more than usual. Dad makes some grand gesture with his arms and hands like he usually does when he's in his storytelling mode and it knocks me out of my trance just in time for me to see Mum coming out of the bedroom alone. She rolls her eyes at Dad and looks at me, nodding.

Relieved, I hop up and head for the bedroom but Dad stops me, still in his animated story mode. "Bear! Where ya going? I'm not done telling this story!"

I look over my shoulder and shake my head at him, chuckling. "Rule number one, Dad. Never leave a woman waiting."

Everyone starts laughing, even Dad, and I walk into the bedroom while they're all distracted. I find Tegan at the window seat, staring out the window. My fingers shake a bit and I ask if she's okay. It seems doubtful, considering she's never not been able to tell me something but I'm glad Mum was here for her.

"I'm okay. Just over thinking some things, you know." Tegan says, letting me hug her and bury my face into her shoulder until she starts to laugh from how hard I'm trying to squeeze her. "You had me worried," I whisper against her neck.

"Can I ask something of you?" She asks after a minute, removing her arms from around me.

"Of course, Tee. You can ask me anything," I say, leaning back against the wall.

"I need you to take this and put it somewhere safe but don't tell me where. If I ever ask you to go get it or talk about it you have to, okay? You're my girlfriend so you have to." Tegan says, holding out a picture, folded in half.

Gulping, I take it but don't open it. I hold it tightly in my hand, dying to know what it is but Tegan needs me right now. We cuddle on the small cushion, whispering to each other until Tegan starts to kiss me and doesn't stop until Dad bangs on the door in his usual heart attack inducing style, yelling that we need to start heading out if we don't want to be late. I know how much Tegan hates being late and continue kissing her, giggling. She pushes me away and I almost fall to the floor but she catches me in her arms and kisses my nose.

"I love you. A lot. Like, a lot, a lot," she rambles adorably.

"Even more than hockey?" I grin, tickling her sides.

She pauses for a moment, contemplating her answer, and I squeeze her side, making her laugh.

"It's a tie," she laughs, wrestling out of my grip and grabbing her duffel bag. I grab the jersey she gave me from off the top of the dresser and hang back a second while Tegan walks out to join my family and Emy. I open the picture and sigh, already dreading the day Tegan needs to talk about it but like she said, I have to be there for her. I slip the picture into the top drawer, under Philip, and head to the living room.

Tegan, Emy and I ride together in Tegan's truck and my parents ride with Casey to the rink. There's another hour before the game starts but spectators are already filing in through the main entrance. I guess college hockey is a much bigger deal than high school hockey. I walk in between Emy and Tegan, holding Tegan's hand, and we weave our way through the people until we find my parents and sister. Tegan drops my hand to adjust her bag and I whisper something in Emy's ear and hand her my phone.

I demand we take a family picture under the Thunderbird Arena sign. We all gather together but Tegan's still by Emy's side, looking uncomfortable. I sigh and go grab her, dragging her along. "You're family. You know that." I say, placing her right in the middle of the photo with me at her side. I link my hand with hers and squeeze, not needing to look at her to know she's smiling happily when Emy tells us to call out "Go Thunderbirds!" before snapping a photo.

We all huddle back around Tegan, hugging, kissing, or patting her on the back to wish her good luck. She heads off towards the locker room, spirits high and all smiles. The rest of us head off to find the best spot in the house after a quick stop in the gift shop.

We're right in the center of the stands, about ten rows up. The perfect spot to see Tegan smack the puck into the goal. Once seven o'clock hits, the crowd moves in a wave, standing and applauding the starting Thunderbirds as they skate out, making a lap around the ice. They announce Tegan's name and Emy and I scream as loud as we can, jumping up and down. I see Tegan's face, just barely through her mask, when she passes by us. She doesn't turn to acknowledge us, instead staring straight ahead like the rest of her teammates but flashing that goofy, gummy grin.

A referee blows his whistle and everyone takes their position. Tegan's not center, like she was in high school, but it was still a huge accomplishment to be starting as a freshman. She'll be the starting center her junior year for sure, and if she keeps playing like she does, maybe she'll make it as soon as sophomore year.

The crowd sits suddenly, falling quiet. The ref drops the puck between the two centers and it gets smacked towards Tegan, starting the game.

Tegan's POV

I skate behind Lindsey, getting in line, and touch gloves with the opposing team. I can't believe we won. I can't believe I helped score the winning goal. I never felt like this in high school, even when I had scored all the goals for some games. The adrenaline races through me and shoots out the ends of my toes and fingertips. I move as a blur after our short huddle up with Coach through the locker room, slipping back into my sweats, and thick jacket over my t-shirt. I say a quick goodbye to Linds and a few other girls and push my way through the awaiting family and friends, searching for my oversized jersey hanging off of Sara.

"Baby!" She squeals, spotting me first and running into my arms. She plants a slobbery kiss on my cheek and then my lips. "You looked so good out there!"

Everyone else catches up and echos what Sara said, complimenting me. "C'mon Champ, I want to buy you a drink," Bruce smiles, slinging his arm around my shoulder and leading us all out the door.

We arrive at a bar none of us have ever heard of except for Casey and squeeze into a booth. Bruce orders a round for everyone except Sara and Emy and shortly after a tall, dark amber colored liquid is placed in front of me. I take a nervous sip and immediately regret it, coughing loudly. Bruce chuckles, insisting it'll put hair on my chest! Yeah, I don't think Sara would be too into that. Or me, for that matter.

Sara offers her water to me and I drink from it graciously to get through the rest of my drink. A waitress comes to collect our glasses and thankfully Casey orders a round next, choosing something fruity. I go through that much quicker and smoother and after an hour and four drinks later, I'm sufficiently drunk and sufficiently have to use the bathroom.

I excuse myself and stand up, stumbling in the direction I think the bathroom is. Everything looks a bit weird. I don't even make it halfway before Sara's familiar hands are on my waist and guiding me safely.

"You're not allowed to come home if you fall in the toilet," she tells me, helping me with the tie on my sweats. I lean helplessly against the wall, and pout, "I want to come home. I miss Philip and I haven't seen him in a while."

Sara chuckles and shakes her head, giving me that it's-not-happening look. I smirk and nod my head. Oh, it's happening. I manage not to fall in the toilet and successfully make it all the way home, although Emy has to drive Sara, Bruce, Sonia, and me there. Sonia and Bruce head in to get ready for the bed. They're sleeping on our pull out coach for the weekend since Casey has three roommates and no room. I don't mind but it's really going to make taking care of the ache between my legs difficult.

"You don't have to walk back, Em. You know there's room here." Sara says, leaning against the truck.

I nod, agreeing, and wrap my arms around Sara's stomach. She's only wearing the jersey and a long sleeved shirt under it. She has to be cold. Plus, I just want my hands on her right now.

"It's fine," Emy says to Sara, shaking her head. "It's a short walk and it looks like you've got your hands full anyway."

Sara looks to where Emy nods her head, which happens to be down to her chest. Where my hands have seem to subconsciously roamed. "I certainly have a hand full," I giggle, groping her in front of Emy.

"I should get her to bed." Sara says quickly, holding my hands at my sides. We wait until Emy is out of sight before going inside. I stumble in through the front door, even with Sara's help. Bruce walks from the bathroom, dressed in his pajamas.

"How you feeling there, Champ?" He laughs, walking past.

I wrestle out of Sara's grip and walk up to Bruce, hugging him tightly from behind. After a moment, when the shock seems to wear off, he pats my hands and then I hug Sonia. We share our goodnights and I escape to the bedroom.

Sara's POV

By the time I join Tegan in the bedroom, she's stripped herself of her sweats and stands in her Thunderbird panties that apparently are a tradition to wear for each home game. Philip dangles off her fingers.

"No," I say firmly, stripping down to my boy shorts and tank top.

"Uh huh." Tegan grins, climbing onto the bed. She crawls under the sheets and pats the spot next to her.

I cross my arms. "We're not having sex with my parents right on the other side of the wall."

"Please? I promise I'll be quiet." Tegan pouts, giving me puppy dog eyes.

I bite my lip and look towards the door, then back at Tegan. The neck of her shirt is stretched out, revealing the hump of her breasts and she trails a lone finger up and down Philip's length. She smiles devilishly, knowing she's won. I've never denied myself of Tegan before and I'm certainly not going to start now. I lock the door and flip the light off. I slip into the harness and Tegan lifts the sheets for me. I crawl in, settling myself between her open legs.

She goes for my ass right away, palming and squeezing me and I grip her jaw with my hand, trying to find her eyes in the darkness. "If you make so much as a peep I'm stopping and you're on your own, okay?"

Tegan responds by grabbing my wrist and sucking two of my fingers into her mouth. She keeps herself busy with them, taking deep breaths through her nose as I rub her over her panties. Impatience gets the better of her and she pulls the fabric to the side and my fingers slide around in her wetness, teasing, and then eventually disappear inside of her. I finger her with my middle finger until I feel the peep creeping up her throat and then slip another inside, circling and curling upwards.

She bites down on my fingers and I bite along her jaw, positioning Philip's head at her entrance. He slips in easily, and just as easily out. I slowly pound into her, loosing myself in the sounds each time I pull out and fall back in. I kiss the tension in Tegan's neck, getting a sick pleasure in knowing how much she's struggling right now to cry out but there's no way in hell Tegan would risk my parents knowing what we were doing. Then again, the thought of it is probably pushing her closer to the edge.

I push into her faster, and she bites down harder, leaving teethmarks on my knuckles. Her legs wrap around mine and tighten, pushing me deeper inside of her. Our hips meet with a quiet smack. One more thrust and her hips buck up and freeze. She releases my fingers from her mouth to suck in a gulp of breath and rides out her orgasm. I continue rocking into her gently until she relaxes back against the sheets, a slight wheeze in her breath. I kiss her lips, taking her breath away once again and reach out blindly for the lamp on Tegan's night stand. There's nothing more beautiful than the way Tegan looks after sex.

Sweaty, tired, and glowing. She's always smiling and ready to cuddle once her muscles will allow her to move again. I roll off of her and unstrap the harness, dropping it to the floor. I search for Tegan's hand under the sheets and she slips her fingers between mine. She squirms for a bit before turning to her side and cuddling up next to me. She kisses me just right by my ear.

"Peep."