A/N: This chapter is lovingly dedicated to the fabulous beanaroony, a talented artist whose work makes me melt from its sheer beauty and intensity. If you haven't checked out her tumblr or deviantART, you're missing out. Also, if you haven't checked my profile page in the past few days, you might not have noticed that I published the first companion story to this saga ("At the Heart of All Things"). Now, although it's not technically mandatory for you to read it, the symbolism of the turtle ducks in this chapter won't be nearly as strong and significant as it ought to be if you haven't read it. So before you begin this chapter, I very highly recommend you spend ten minutes of time looking over that little piece. Then you may return and continue on.

I fall asleep against Zuko's chest with the pressure of his arm around my shoulders. I wake to a white cloud misting from my mouth. It's my own breath hitting air that is so cold and so still. When I sit up, I see I'm back in the very white place from the dream where I once held a five-pronged headpiece. The Fire Lord's headpiece, I now understand. The one that made me think it strange that a piece of metal could stay warm despite the freezing temperature.

Iroh is in this dream, too. He's dressed in the indigo uniform bearing the image of a white lotus flower. This time he looks younger than the man I knew in life. His hair is richly brown, and that on his face is neatly trimmed. There are no natural wrinkles in his face, only temporary ones etched by his wide smile.

So, he says as he kneels beside me. Would you like to learn?

Learn . . . ?

His arm sweeps outward in a wide gesture. How to befriend wild turtle ducks?

I'm about to ask exactly which turtle ducks he's talking about since there aren't any animals or even water or anything at all around us, but Iroh touches a finger to his lips. A universal gesture of shh. Then he lays his hand on the ground and closes his eyes. A thin thread, red as fate, unravels from his downturned palm. It sketches the circumference of a wide ring that fills with translucent blue water. Two shapes swim into view as if shaded in by a spirit's hand. Twin fish sketched in ink. One white with a single black spot. One black with a single white spot. Two counterparts circling each other in an eternal dance of push and pull.

Tui and La, I whisper, recognizing the fish from the Spirit Oasis. I close my eyes. Oh, Yue.

Your Water Tribe spirits of the ocean and the moon are very powerful, Iroh agrees. But sometimes, one nation alone is not enough to restore peace in a war against the world. Wait, and give all things time to change into something unexpected.

As the fish swim around one another, the red ring begins to bleed into the pool of blue water. Each clean black canvas on the fishes' bodies absorbs red stain, and every remaining white scale takes on a deeper blue as if soaking in the shade of the sea. The fish are still circling counterparts, still locked in a perpetual cycle of push and pull, only now theirs is a dance of fire and ice. One red with a single blue spot. One blue with a single red spot.

You may win a war with only one or two or three nations fighting for the Avatar, but the scales must be perfectly balanced in order for the world to return to true harmony.

We need all four nations on our side. I get it. Good thing Zuko's with us.

Do you know what it is that makes opposing forces so powerful? Iroh says as if I hadn't spoken. When I shake my head, he adds, To understand a man for what he truly is, you must expose yourself both to the darkness of his fear and to the brightness of his courage. You must know him as an enemy and as a friend. Only then can you know him whole.

These words are so familiar. I remember thinking something exactly along these lines when I was mulling over my growing attachment to Zuko, a boy I once hated but eventually came to love.

Turn your hand up and hold it open. I will give you bread.

He places a few small pieces of soft bread into the cusp of my palm. What do I do with this? I ask.

Iroh points.I glance across the water. Standing perfectly still on the opposite shore, watching me with its eyes like two black windows, is a tiny baby duckling.

Animals are very special blessings to this earth, he explains. Unlike people, they see with eyes unclouded by hate. He touches my wrist with his own. Our gazes connect. And to restore peace to the world, you must look beyond hate to the truth at the heart of all things.

I think Iroh's about to say more, but suddenly there is a blinding light. I wake up blinking in bright sunlight. I grope around for anything to block out the glare and grab the thick folds of a blanket to pull over my face.

"Zuko, I'll be up in a few minutes . . ." I mumble.

"Sorry, your little lover boy's not around. He's already been dragged through two different meetings while you've been snoring back in his bed."

The voice belongs to Len, and she's the one responsible for dragging the covers off my head again and exposing me to morning light streaming in through the windows. She parted the curtains that were pulled over them last night. Now she stares at me with her arms crossed and her foot tapping. I'm somewhat embarrassed that she found me in Zuko's bed when this is certainly not where I went to sleep. But I guess he must have carried me here again once I fell asleep against his shoulder. I remember both that and how I felt so safe beside him.

"Morning," I groan.

"Do you always have to be dragged awake? Around here, we rise with the sun if you want to be in time for breakfast." She points to a tray on the nightstand. "Yesterday was tough, so I swiped you some and saved it. But tomorrow you're getting up at dawn with the rest of us. No more sleeping in. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am," I say between bites of some doughy lump stuffed with fruity jam.

"I need to make this bed." She grabs me by the wrist and tugs so I climb off. "And Len's just fine by me. Want a fun day? Try calling Azula ma'am instead of princess and see what happens."

Vigorous nodding substitutes for words I can't squeeze out around more of that dough-with-jam pastry stuffed in my mouth. Len smoothes out the covers and fluffs the pillows that were, moments before, molded into my and Zuko's shapes. If she's been around the palace for years, she must know so many secrets about the royal family. Like apparently what happens when someone acts less-than-groveling at Azula's feet. Helpful things she might be willing to confess if we become closer friends.

"Leave your bowl out on the nightstand when you're done," she says. "My girls will come by later to clean this place up. They'll grab it. Right now you're coming with me on a tour of the palace. Memorize stuff quick. You'll be sent on errands soon and need a mental map."

Getting a mental map of a place this intricate isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world. There are so many halls and rooms linking up with each other that I know I'm bound to get lost. Plus I keep getting distracted by the history Len throws in as she shows me around. Apparently the original throne room was far smaller than the current one, and there was no wall of fire that separated the Fire Lord from the rest of the room. The current room was rebuilt after Avatar Roku destroyed the original one after a vicious argument between him and Fire Lord Sozin.

"Let's see . . . there's also an Agni Kai chamber with an indoor arena. It's got seating for large audiences. It's used to settle disputes in the palace," she explains. She leads me into a hallway containing large portraits of men along one wall. "And this is the Royal Gallery. It shows off all the past Fire Lords like Ozai, Azulon, Sozin"—she points to the corresponding image on the wall—"and their ancestors." One day, Zuko's portrait will hang on this very wall as well.

We swing back around towards the throne room. "Hang on," she tells me. Len waves at two guards keeping watch by the curtain. They greet her with respectful dips of the head. She quietly whispers something I can't make out, but her smirk broadens at their equally hushed responses. As she walks back past me, she beckons with a hand. "Come on. I can show you my favorite part of the palace grounds."

"Where's that?" I ask.

"You'll see in a minute." She leads me to an archway beyond which I smell fresh air and a current of wind on my face. "We better be quick while the war meeting's still on. It's technically forbidden for anyone to come here except for the royal family and a handful of servants on official business, but we can sneak a peek. No one will know. Come on!"

With that she goes down the steps, and I follow her out to a small fragment of peace harbored in the heart of a palace otherwise blackened by fear and war and hate. It's a garden filled with fountains and ponds, trees and small shrubs. I can imagine sitting in the soft shade of one of those trees and enjoying a scroll as the late afternoon stretches toward evening.

Len grins. "Pretty nice place, huh?"

It's a place I could get used to. I'm especially drawn to one huge tree situated close to a large pond at the heart of the garden. I rest a hand on the ancient bark. This tree has probably seen as many royal families as history remembers. It reminds me of the tree Zuko almost killed out of his anger in Ba Sing Se when he severed the connection between roots and life-giving leaves with his swords. Thanks to my waterbending, I was able to save the girdled tree while there was still time to heal the damage done.

There's a quack close by. I notice a very small animal sitting out on the water. A turtle duck. Its eyes are two familiar black windows gazing right back at me . . .

All of a sudden, Len grabs my wrist. Her fingernails dig into my skin. She drags me behind the wide tree trunk and hisses don't move. Then she carefully pretends to smooth out the sash around her waist as she moves quickly back towards the entry stairs.

"Fire Lord," she says loudly. For all her bravado, I guess she won't call him just plain Ozai to his face—

Oh.

Oh.

"Len." A beat. "Has something urgent happened?"

"No, not at all," she says, and I thank the spirits for the absolute calm and restraint in her voice. It reveals nothing of the secret she's hiding: me, trespassing. Their voices grow softer and more distant. She's probably leading him away from the tree and out of the garden. Thank the spirits for Len watching out for me. I only hope the Fire Lord can't hear the pounding of my heart.

"Yes, inform them I will be slightly late," I hear him say.

A pause. "But the meeting starts in a few minutes—"

"They will wait. I will return to the palace shortly."

I stare into the foliage of a nearby bush and try to keep panic from setting in. Too late. I have to get out of here, but I literally can't move anywhere from this spot without being seen. What's the punishment for forbidden entry into the royal garden?

I listen hard for Len's voice. After a moment of silence, I hear her say yes, Fire Lord. There comes the very faint sound of shoes on stone steps. This is presumably Len leaving me alone with nothing but a tree between me and the man who will kill me, without hesitation, if he catches me hiding here.

I can either keep standing or sit down and huddle as close to the tree as possible. On one hand, the first option means I can start running immediately in case he spots me. But what about the blue lightning from my dreams? I can't outrun that. So instead I sit down and gather my knees close to my chin. The only thing to do now is squeeze myself into the tightest bundle possible and try to take up no space at all. Maybe the spirits will take pity and cloak me from his sight.

From this angle, I have no way of knowing where the Fire Lord is in the garden. For all I know, he might be coming this way right now. I edge slightly to the right. There's a shape by the edge of the pond. I scoot sideways another few inches and lean to see. It's the Fire Lord in his formal robes. He's kneeling with his back turned to me and his face toward the water.

What's he doing out here? I press as close to the tree as I can, but I don't look away. He dips one finger in the water and then holds out his hand. Across the pond, a mother turtle duck and her babies look up. One of the ducklings swims toward him, a small yellow creature with a green shell on its back. I bristle. It's just a little baby. Silly. Defenseless. How can it know the kind of danger it's getting itself into? I look around for something to throw and find a little rock. I have to warn the duckling away before the Fire Lord does something like burn it alive. What else would he do with something so innocent? Without thinking, I flick the rock into the space between his hand and the swimming animal. The rock hits the water with a ripple but no sound. Waves move out and whisper across the pond.

I look at the place where the stone punctured the water. Strange and wonderful, how something so small as one tiny pebble can sweep the still surface of a pond into motion. Change one thing, you change everything. The slightest ripple of change can grow into a force great enough to move the whole world.

But it's not enough to disturb either the duckling or the Fire Lord, both of whom probably assumed it was just some fish flipping its tail beneath the surface. The baby plucks a tiny morsel of what I guess must be bread from his palm. A few more ducklings approach and accept the offering, too. The Fire Lord lowers his hand into the water and scoops up a baby. Their mother swims closer. She watches carefully but doesn't nip his hand.

The Fire Lord holds a baby duckling, and its mother holds him in her gaze, and I hold all of this in the strangest regard. How a black-hearted creature such as this could find affection for small animals but not for the small children killed by his war. How he could order men to murder my mother but himself won't hurt the mother of the ducklings in his pond. Is there a worst monster on this earth than one who pities animals and not air nomads? Who apparently holds animals as sacred beings but not human lives? My splinter of hate for this demon deepens its twisted drive into my heart. He deserves nothing but death. I hope I'm there on the day when Aang takes his life and ends the brutal war that has taken so much away from everyone involved. I doubt there is even one life left unscathed by its reach.

Suddenly he sets the duckling down. His fingers crush into a fist. He looks up sharply. His mouth tightens into an angry grimace. I pull back, trembling, certain he's seen me—

"What is it?" he snaps, and only then do I hear the sound of running footsteps.

"With all due respect, the council awaits your arrival at the war meeting."

"Did Len not tell them I would be late? What makes them believe they can disturb me when I directly ordered otherwise."

"Fire Lord." The messenger's voice is higher in pitch. Frightened. "I-I apologize for the interruption, but the generals—"

"Oh, very well. Inform them that I'm on my way."

"Y-yes, of course!" There is the sound of feet hitting the ground very quickly. Silence falls over the garden once more. I sit shaking against the tree, hoping the Fire Lord won't glance this way as he passes by. I squeeze my eyes shut and bury my nose in the small gap between my shivering knees. Please. Please.

I don't move or look up from my hiding place for a few minutes. Then I hear the sound of swiftly approaching feet. If I weren't chi-blocked, I'd reach for water. But I don't feel control over my own element, don't feel anything except an overwhelming need to get up and run while I still have a chance. But his lightning. Would he kill me? Of course he would, given any reason at all. That's what heartless men do. They destroy the world and everything they touch.

"Hey, kid? You back there?"

Before I stop myself, before I can even think, I call out Len's name. She runs around the tree and squats down next to me. I lunge forward and wrap my arms around her waist. I hide my face in the collar of her shirt. Safe. She's not going to let the Fire Lord hurt me.

"Did that messenger I sent show up?" she asks. When I nod, she pumps the air with her fist. "Yes! We pulled it off. See, you got to check out the garden and no one got in trouble. Come on. Let's get out of here."

I don't think I've ever survived a closer brush with death. I'm glad to escape back into the shelter of the palace halls. Strange how safety is so relevant. Up until I ended up trapped behind that tree, I despised the royal palace as a place of terrible danger. Now, that very palace is a place where I can't be hurt as long as I'm doing my duty. There's something freeing about that. Who knew I would ever be glad to walk down these halls and feel almost relaxed? Sometimes you think about life and, looking back, just can't believe how things change.

"While you were out there, Lover Boy sent you a message."

It occurs to me that she means Zuko. "Wait, he's not my—"

"He wants to see you after the war meeting's over. Meantime we can get some lunch and meet up with Ty Lee. I'll send for her."

We get our next meal in the servant's wing, a long hall with branching doors. One of the doors leads to a room where food is arranged on carts. Servants serve themselves and sit around on pillows scattered along the wall to chat and swap gossip. Len and I eat together. She spends most of the time chattering with some female servants while I debate whether I ought to ask her about the palace prisons. Would she take me to see Aang? Or would this cross our fragile line of friendship? I have to find some way to go see my friend soon.

"Good morning, everyone!" This is Ty Lee skipping into the room. She waggles her fingers at the servants, many of whom wave back or bow their heads in acknowledgement.

"We're over here!" Len calls.

I close my eyes and let the acrobat's fingers prod a series of precise points that ensure my bending remains beyond access.

"How are you liking palace life so far?" Ty Lee asks when she finishes. I shrug, but she's already paying more attention to a pile of dumplings on a nearby cart. She grabs two at once and takes turns munching large bites off one and then the other.

"Waterbenders rise with the moon. She'll have a tough time getting up early," Len answers for me. Stuffing words in my mouth seems to be a common trend with her.

Ty Lee carefully chews a bite of dumpling. "It's too bad I have to keep blocking your chi all the time. I wish I could just guilt you really badly."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"There's a thing called chakras that control bending. I had to learn all about it when I was figuring out how to block chi," she explains. "See with waterbending, it gets blocked by guilt. I bet if you feel guilty all the time and feel it really, really deeply, you won't be able to waterbend at all. Even without chi blocking."

"That theory's never been proven," Len reminds her.

"Doesn't mean it won't ever," Ty Lee says with a grin. "And meanwhile, we have good regular chi blocking that'll just have to do." She finished off her dumplings. "Anyway, I'll see you guys around soon. Azula needed to see me, too." She grabs three more pastries off the cart and goes off.

Emotions permanently blocking bending? That seems ridiculous. Then again, Ty Lee seems like a fairly strange person. The kinds of theories she comes up with would probably make a normal person's head spin. You can't pay attention to every crazy thing you hear.

When we're done with lunch, Len takes me through a door leading to a vast courtyard open to the sky. I take inventory of the water grates running around the perimeter. Not that they're of much use to me now, but maybe some day they might come in handy. But what I notice next is a burst of fire out of the corner of my eye. Zuko has just punched a blast of fire down at the courtyard floor. He kicks and flames follow the arc of his foot. Sweat glints off his body, which is naked from the waist up. He's wearing nothing but a loose pair of paints that cuts off just below the knee.

"Hey, take a break!" Len calls. "I brought your pal." She nudges me gently so I go down the steps to where he's practicing his bending. "You guys have fun. I'll see you in a while."

I hear her fading footsteps returning to the palace as Zuko stiffens. He looks up. He looks at me, and I realize we've acted through this kind of scene before. I remember being conscious of the way his shoulders tensed as he threw off his blanket and got up to greet me after he lay unconscious for three days in Ba Sing Se. I remember working on lines I wanted to tell him when at last he was awake, and of course me not recalling a single one when I needed them most.

He says the same one word now that he did then: "Katara."

"How'd you sleep?" he adds.

I finish going down the steps very slowly. "Not bad," I admit. "Thanks for bringing me back to the bed. That was . . . nice."

He falls into step beside me. "Listen, Katara, I'm so sorry for everything—"

"It's okay. I get it now." Wait, did my mouth say that?

"So . . . you really believe me?" he asks. I don't need waterbending to sense that his eyes are threatening to become liquid.

Do I? Last night, I wasn't entirely sure what my emotions were telling me at all. I wasn't even sure if I could believe his words. But now I look into Zuko's face and see truth written across his worried gaze. We cross the courtyard together to the far side where he was training, and I feel something begin again that I was afraid I'd lost.

A familiar prickle of, well, fire ignites in my chest. It's that lone ember glowing hotter every time I see Zuko now. No. That's not entirely true. It's more than a single ember dancing in a cradle of former hatred. It's a collection of sparks gathered across our many weeks of friendship. Now they're permanently melting away the ice I tried to build around my heart. I tried to freeze the love I felt for this firebender after he betrayed us in the catacombs, but now I understand why his eyes looked so hurt when I accused him of killing the world. He wasn't lying. I don't think he betrayed us at all. His eyes tell me he meant what he confessed last night. He did what he had to in order to save the world, to save Aang, to save me.

And for this boy who protected the world's last hope for peace, my heart is beginning to again catch fire.

I nod. "I think I can believe you. And . . . I'm ready to forgive you. For everything."

Before I can say anything more, I hear cruel, mocking laughter from somewhere close by. The Fire Lord is descending down the steps to the courtyard like a curtain of black fire. His mouth is a smirk showing teeth. "Prince Zuko," he says. "I have been informed that you've been practicing your bending again. Perhaps you would like to show me what you have learned on your journey across the world."

The whole bare-torso-loose-pants thing must be some kind of training uniform in the Fire Nation because the Fire Lord has changed into it as well. The only additional clothing he wears is two tight gold bands, one worn high around each bicep. He crosses his arms and stares at Zuko staring at him. He doesn't look at me at all.

"Demonstrate your fine talents at lightning generation," he instructs. As usual, there is cold laughter in the tone of his voice. I hear it clearly. I'm certain I do.

I would squeeze Zuko's hand to give him encouragement, but I'm too scared of the Fire Lord's wrath to do anything but back away slowly so I'm watching from a safe distance. My friend's right hand trembles as he lifts it up and closes his eyes to focus on the energy that should be moving through his body. He circles his arms carefully and begins to extend his right hand out—

"No!" the Fire Lord snarls. "Where did you pick up that technique? You will never generate lightning with that stance. It will only ricochet back in an explosive blast." Zuko bows his head and squeezes his eyes shut. My own breathing quickens as his father paces a ring around him. I'm scared for what he might do if he's disappointed. "When you rule this nation one day, at any moment you may be challenged for the throne," he goes on. "To defend your position, you must be the most powerful firebender in the world. Begin again. Proceed slowly."

Zuko extends his right hand. The Fire Lord nudges his arm higher. My friend begins to move his arm in a circle—

"Widen the swing of your arm," his father snaps impatiently. "And start over."

Zuko holds up his right hand again. He brings it down, across, and back up in a broader sweep. The Fire Lord watches without comment, his mouth a displeased grimace.

"You are forgetting your second arm," he says at last. "You need both to generate lightning. Observe."

The Fire Lord leans back as blue coils of energy spring into his hands. Raw threads of cold-blooded fire follow his fingertips in two wide arcs. He steps forward as he brings both hands down at once. Then he gathers the energy close to his chest and lunges, bringing both hands together. A blast of white-hot lightning rips across the courtyard, exploding in a burst of fire at the base of the steps leading back up to the palace.

"Hey! Will you watch it? You could kill someone like that! Geez," Len calls from the top of the stairs. She comes down and waves to me. "Sorry, kid, but you're coming with me. You got a summons."

"From whom?" I ask.

"I'll explain on the way."

Zuko and I exchange glances. I mouth good luck and head out of the courtyard after Len, leaving my friend alone to practice lightning with his cold-blooded father. I only hope Zuko's still alive and in one piece when it's all over. Not that my presence would have helped matters anyway except in emotional support. I guess that's still something.

Len brings me to a great double door that seems familiar. "Zuko's room?" I ask, entirely confused.

"Azula's room," she explains. "The princess wanted to see you."

"Her private room?" I'm really not liking the idea of seeing Azula alone. For some reason, that seems even more dangerous than just me and the Fire Lord.

Len rests a hand on my shoulder. "I'll hang around. Don't worry." But something about her suddenly quiet voice makes me feel like maybe worrying is the exact thing I ought to be doing.

"You don't know why she wants to see me, do you?"

She shakes her head. "She just said she wants to see you alone. Here, I'll knock."

Len does so and announces our arrival. From behind the twin doors, I hear a soft come in that sounds like Azula's usual voice. Precise. Deadly. Len tugs the doors open, but unlike with Zuko's room she doesn't shove me inside this time. I stand there for a moment without moving, simply drawing breath, wondering what Azula might want.

Then I close my eyes and step through into the absolute pitch darkness beyond.

A/N: Well, folks, that's a wrap so far as regular winter break updates are concerned (and I moved a few things around, so we'll get that Katara/Mai conversation I promised on tumblr in the next chapter). You might get two or three chapters from now until early May 2013, but for the most part I'll see you back here in the summer for more Katara, more Zuko, more Ozai, and a plot that will only get even more intricate as time goes on. All credit for the phrase "eyes unclouded by hate" goes to Hayao Miyazaki for creating the four words that define the single most important underlying theme of this entire nine-part saga. Also, some of you may already be aware of this, but I just got a tumblr account: {ladyavatar} . {tumblr} . {com}. I primarily reblog things related to Miyazaki films (like Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, and Princess Mononoke), Disney, A:TLA, and LoK. Ah, and of course I post teasers for upcoming chapters of this story as well as my other fanfictions. Asks and submissions are always welcome. See you there!