Hello Lovelies(:

I know that if I'd actually updated on time this would've been out on Sunday but things have been.. slightly hectic. My sister recently moved in after a pretty nasty break up and though I love her so, she tends to be slightly distracting when I'm trying to write haha.

Hope you all enjoy this addition, as always ^-^ Also, my chapters might be the tiniest bit sporadic but I'm pretty sure I can keep up.

Also! I finally have all my current stories up on AO3! It took me forever, but I sat and posted like twenty chapters for T.M. all at once because I finally had time haha.

I would also like to offer very special thanks to my incredible new beta reader who was quite helpful(:

Thank you for all the reviews and the positive feedback that I've been getting and I hope you're not disappointed!

Til next time,

Majix

There's nothing quite like the fear of death.

That was the single most prominent thought that swam through Ciel's conscious as the make up artists painted his face and adorned him with the ridiculous outfit that would become his trademark among their cast.

As life hangs in the balance, reality exists with a surreal kind of clarity. Minute details, meaningless pieces of the overall picture frozen, captured as they are while everything else fades out in endless shades of grey.

In the beginning, as the thick heat of pooling blood spread below his broken body, Ciel viewed the world through shards of glass, seeing but also blind to what existed around him but what he would never forget was the feeling of Sebastian's magic as it touched him for the first time.

Wild and unhinged, it glided over his flesh with an air of longing, a desire the very shade of the abyss that fought to own and consume. It was raw power, pure in the blackest way imaginable, intoxicating to the foundation. It remained, within the Earl's mind at least, a mirror image of the evil it'd taken to create a monster such as Sebastian.

And to Ciel's delight, as well as his horror, he'd felt it a second time.

In the cold, blood stained cobblestone alleys of London, with the still warm corpse of his beloved aunt, the broken teen felt it for the second time. Ciel had very nearly fallen to his knees from the triggered memory alone as Sebastian unleashed his magic upon the redheaded reaper, but it wasn't the same. It was diluted, a watered down version of what he'd felt upon the altar but, regardless, it'd been the same intoxicating darkness as before.

But that wasn't what he'd felt earlier.

Ciel knew without a doubt that what he'd felt up on the high wire was the physical touch of Sebastian's power. Despite the fact that nobody else could've done it, the blue haired mortal would've known that invisible touch anywhere. It brushed against him with all the familiarity of a well loved photograph worn down with the passage of time and though the darkness certainly lingered within, it was no longer the main focus.

Behind the malicious flush of dark energy, Ciel could feel the remembrance of all that offered him comfort. Warm cups of strong tea, the fresh laundered smell of his duvet, the mouthwatering aroma of Sebastian's hand made chocolate. In his moment of panic, he'd been met with the unmistakablely familiar feel of his demon, the scents of home and he'd breathed in deep, taking it all in.

The intoxication was something else entirely, something more addictive than all the evil pleasures he'd glimpsed in the demon's shadow but undeniably belonging to Sebastian.

It was a glimpse of domesticity, of the quiet lulls before the hunt and as Ciel closed his eyes, allowing the makeup artist to glide the brush along his eyelids, he couldn't deny the desire that remained captive behind the white bone cage of his chest, buried deep and unspoken in his heart.

But it wasn't to be.

The game would eventually come to an end and the king would fall, just as he'd promised. The knight would rise, huge and monstrous within the black of night and Ciel would cease to be. He wasn't resentful, not for what'd developed between himself and his demon or the way their journey would end, but the broken teen wished that somebody would've thought to warn him.

They didn't tell him what it looks like to be painted black by the choices of the damned, or what it feels like to be so close to death that breathing starts to feel more like an option than necessity. They didn't tell him what you're supposed to do when you meet a shadow of a man that holds the entire cosmos in his unearthly vermilion eyes and the knowledge of a millennia caught beneath his tongue. They didn't tell him how to see past the falsities of pale human flesh, to see the darkness below.

They didn't tell him how it would feel to long for the kiss of a monster.

The tour itself proved less helpful than they'd originally hoped.

With Joker's unabashed aid, they'd walked the lengthy span of tents, but to the duo's dismay, there was nothing remotely out of the ordinary. A Mess hall, seventeen performing tents, an infirmary, the housing tents for the main cast and two separate storage places for food supplies. It was all as it should be, each addition in its proper place, but even as they wandered among the normality of it all, Ciel knew that things were not as they appeared.

The world around them was slow and quiet, almost as if time itself were holding its breath, waiting for whatever was due to happen.

But life went on.

Bustling among the others, they wove their way in between, listening to the ringleaders too and fro stories with half open ears.

"You're all very close knit."

Joker laughed in response to the blue haired teen's sudden voice, "We're a family. Mi'ht as well 'ee, I reckon."

The redhead continued on, barely lingering long enough to cast the younger man a look over his shoulder, "They all become family eventually, but us first-strings have always stuck together."

Sebastian frowned, "You're childhood acquaintances?"

Up ahead, Joker gave a single nod, but as he spoke the others could hear the unadulterated fondness within his tone, "Aye. A real family we was."

A pucker of confusion sat stark on Ciel's features as he considered those words, "Was?"

Joker paused, a startled frown only half concealed lingering momentarily on his lips before the smile returned, but it didn't meet his eyes. There was no sparkle within those depths, and as Ciel stared into his face, for the briefest second, he caught a glimpse of his own mask within the guarded eyes of his guide.

"Things have changed. But we 're still a family." Nostalgia hung heavily implied within those words before the man turned away.

As they continued on, a familiar tune danced soft and fleeting among them, chasing away the stiffening silence with the barest of touches. The notes were drawn out, an air of sentiment giving them life as they drifted lazily between the objects in their path. A harmonica wasn't an instrument that the blue haired teen was intimately involved with, but even without the proper knowledge of how it should sound, he knew the person playing had done so many times in the past. As if it were being played by a lover, the song spoke volumes of comfort, of affection and memories long passed.

It was a song that the teen knew he'd heard before, but he just couldn't place it, even as the title lingered heavily on the tip of his tongue.

But as the notes drifted off the faintest of memories crossed his conscious; a whiff of his mother's perfume as she leaned over to tuck him into bed, the soft grace of her voice as she hummed Ciel to sleep when all else failed.

"Tom the Piper's Son."

Hesitancy at his words put the slightest hitch in the troupe leader's step, his words just the slightest bit strained as they approached the main tent, "I'm surprised you know of it. Not many do."

Despite the fact that the redhead couldn't see it, Ciel dipped his head in acknowledgment, "My master was quite fond of it."

Nothing else was said between the three of them as Joker lead the trio into the main practice area, the sound of excited chattering growing in volume as they approached. It was impossible to keep a secret in a place such as this, of that Ciel was certain, so it wasn't that much of a leap to assume that all those gathered knew of the duo's addition to their unconventional family.

They merely waited to meet them out of respect to their self-proclaimed leader.

As they approached the lightened entrance Ciel began to fidget. He was, of course, no stranger to crowds. Whether or not he preferred the shadows of his profession to the limelight meant very little considering his other half as one of her Majesty's many nobles. He'd been expected to appear before the masses before, as a host and a speaker but not as an addition to a group of misfits in an outfit that made him uncomfortable, and altogether, quite uneasy.

When choosing his costume the artists focused on his eyepatch as the inspiration of their work. It'd been decided that since pirates were known for their daring escapes, that such would be the theme of his costume.

All the teen really found himself thankful for was that the colour scheme didn't look entirely ridiculous.

Blue, black and white made up the colour palette of his costume. Like the others, his clothes were covered in simplistic patterns. This one, like Dagger's, focused on stripes. His undershirt was black and white striped, hanging loose against his thin frame, held in place by the blue suspenders that attached to his equally blue shorts and the black half vest that sat snug against his figure. Mismatched black and white stockings covered his legs, making the teen feel even more out of his element. While he was accustomed to the garters he wore to keep his socks in place, he wasn't used to the straps being so high up his thighs. They were uncomfortable, rubbing against the sensitive skin on his legs, the cheap nylon of his stocking making the entire experience infinitely worse. The ruffled cravat hugging his throat was previously worn; he could feel it in the shape of the cotton and the broken-in curve of his too-small neck. It was itchy, covered in stripes just like his shirt but not entirely unbearable, held in place by a thick purple ribbon tied in a loose bow. A dark blue feathered hat sat perched on the crown of his head, tilted in the growing fashion, clipped to his hair with tiny pins to keep it in place but the white boots adorning his feet were by far the hardest to become accustomed used to. They lacked a heel, something all of the Earl's other shoes possessed and they rose along the partial length of his shins, laced tight to keep them in place. The unusual style in itself was enough to make his movements feel stocky and anything but graceful but on top of it all, they were a size too big for the dark haired male.

Uneasy eyes cast a quick glance towards the demon at his side and Ciel felt a quick stab of envy. They'd barely added anything to his normal attire at all. A mere top hat and a thin purple tie around his neck. A small skull stood stark against the pale expanse of his throat, bringing the eye up towards his face where they'd given him a simple flick of the painted brush along the top and bottom of his left eye rather than the carefully constructed blue diamonds they'd painted along the teen's own cheekbone.

However, it was to be expected he supposed. Even without the costume and the makeup Sebastian looked unearthly by nature; his features much to proportionate to be real with high cheekbones and straight nose giving him all the appearance of a king, or even a god.

He was perfection if there ever was such a thing and, not for the first time, Ciel wondered how anybody ever managed to think of him as human when he was obviously anything but.

The consuming nature of his thoughts distracted the teen just long enough for the trio to make their way to the front of the growing crowd, his eyes once again coming alive with focused clarity, and a certain amount of disbelief, as Joker announced to all that, from now on, he would be known among them as Smile.

His moment of incredulity must've shown heavily on his features because those around him began to giggle at his apparent shock. It was insulting, something that Ciel would've never picked for himself and though the Earl was on board with their plan, he immediately wanted to snap and back away.

He wasn't like them, these people that smiled before him. He was an anomaly, something that didn't fit in with anyone or anything outside the bounds of his duty, but regardless of how he felt, Ciel gave an awkward little grin, unable to muster the memories of before as he stood among strangers.

That is, until something, or rather someone, caught his immediate attention, wiping the falsities from his face.

Off to the side, near the very back stood a blonde boy no older than himself alongside a striking dark haired man with glasses.

They weren't in costume like the others, but the blonde's outfit was costume enough, his dark grey shorts inappropriately short, redeemed only by the lengthy boots that covered his legs, sitting high on his shins and the black stockings that continued up his thighs. Dark purple ribbons adorned his boots, laced tight with decorative bows at the top, bringing out the dark green striped vest that hugged his torso, a vibrant purple coat the very colour of royalty clinging to his figure.

The man on his left was dressed much the same way that Sebastian was, in the garb of a high class servant. His coat and trousers were black, just as most uniforms were, but they appeared to have reflective sequins stitched all over the fabric, giving him the appearance of a spotted predator.

But that wasn't what drew Ciel's attention.

The déjà vu he'd experienced during their carriage ride came back tenfold, making him more uncomfortable than the outfit ever could. He didn't know them, didn't know anything about the pair, but against all odds, Ciel knew without a doubt that they didn't belong there.

It was a wordless cry against the back of his subconscious, a howl that'd immediately drown out all else and though Ciel was unsure as to why it was present, he knew that they were the cause.

The blonde boy and his apparent servant weren't meant to be at the circus, they weren't natural to this place and regardless of his confusion, the blue haired teen knew that they'd replaced somebody else. Somebody else was meant to stand where they currently stood, somebody else was meant to take that spot, to speak where they'd utter and all Ciel could do was endure the feeling of something unnatural crawling beneath his flesh, the unease of a feeling unnamed and unknown.

But it was there.

He wasn't crazy and after everything he'd seen, Ciel knew to trust his gut. Forces not of this world lived alongside them, coexisting behind the veil and though things were not always apparent, they were present none the less.

But as the blue haired Earl continued to stare, unwilling to brush the unease aside, the sound within his head began to grow, crying within his skull and the teen realized that it wasn't imagined. The warning was real, alive within his conscious but it was quickly turning to something else.

The sound was unnatural, unearthly and wrong in all the ways Ciel couldn't explain. It didn't belong to their world, but ever the stubborn soul, the boy refused to give. He wouldn't cast away his feelings, he wouldn't tell himself all was well because it wasn't, and as the noise increased, growing from a shriek to a full blown scream, he realized that his unwillingness was the cause of the growing discomfort.

Newfound pain rattled his senses, making cognitive thought nearly impossible as the sound echoed within his skull, making him feel as though his skull was being split open from several points simultaneously. His consciousness quickly became a scattered jumble of broken thought as the teen fought to cling to this one truth, this feeling of discontent, the waves of displacement that wracked his body with unease until he could hang on no longer.

Despite his stubborn nature, Ciel knew that he wouldn't be able to stand much more. That much was made apparent by the unpleasant gush from his nose that couldn't be anything other than blood and the worried cries of his previously forgotten audience.

Beside him, somebody called his name, their voice laced with the unmistakable flux of panic as his knees buckled. In a move that seemed almost unreal, familiar arms cloaked in black wool caught his uncoordinated body as the teen fell, and though Ciel felt that he should know the black haired man with the brilliant maroon eyes, he couldn't, for the life of him, remember the man's name.

Only that he was important and shouldn't be forgotten.

Fear.

That was what he felt.

Unadulterated fear ripping through the immortal's core as he caught sight of the blue haired boy losing control of his body, as he caught the unmistakable scent of blood dripping down his Master's face.

Just below his flesh, Sebastian could feel the monster within throwing itself against the iron clad bars of his will, demanding that he do something, anything to help the blue haired creature he'd claimed as his own. It raged just below the surface, thrashing relentlessly, howling the given name of his boy as the demon caught his ward just before Ciel could hit the ground.

Mortals surrounded him, crowding the unconscious boy, trying to help, but Sebastian refused to relinquish his hold on the Earl, demanding Joker take him to them to the Doctor immediately.

And as the redheaded human quickly moved to obey, Sebastian found himself infinitely grateful that mortals were so weak to the demands of those superior to their species.

A soft and affectionate veil of darkness enveloped the pair in silence long into the longest hours of night. It was soothing in a way that only a demon would understand, a reminder of the beginning but where the absence of light would normally take Sebastian's thoughts back to the waking hours of his immortal life, he found only worry.
Ciel still hadn't woken, and with each passing second the demon's discomfort grew.

He didn't know what'd caused the teen to react in such a way, all he knew was that they'd been standing before the mass and suddenly the teen's brows were pinched in what looked to be agonized focus. His eyes were glassy with unwavering attention, his cheeks flushed and then Ciel's nose started to bleed uncontrollably. Before the demon could make a move to do anything his ward collapsed, leaving the demon reeling in unanswered questions and unparalleled panic.

The Doctor provided no answers, stating that the boy most likely suffered a mild fainting spell brought on from all the sudden stress.

Only Sebastian knew how unrealistic that diagnosis was.

So there they remained, tucked away within their given bunk, behind the unnatural darkness that Sebastian provided, away from the prying eyes of those that would seek to disturb his ward.

And in the earliest hours of the morning, after watching the unresponsive male for the majority of the night, Sebastian thought of the boy's reaction to the harmony they'd encountered earlier and did the only thing that he could think of to comfort the human that'd somehow managed to chisel past his cold exterior.

He hummed the melody of his youth.

It was soft, lacking in words, barely audible among them. A gentle repetitious lullaby that'd comforted the demon during his mortal years as a child. Something nameless, the melody itself nearly forgotten with the passage of time, a tune that had no name, marked only by the feeling of remembrance and the comfort it once brought in the dead of night when he couldn't sleep.

And despite the strangeness of it all, hours passed this way, with Ciel held close against Sebastian's abnormally warm body, the demon's ungloved fingers carding through his hair as the immortal continued to hum quietly, unwavering eyes watching for any sign of consciousness.