AN/ Every word was like pulling teeth. Every. Single. Word.
I'm so sorry it's taken so long; I've tried to make up for it by giving you a long ass chapter. But it hurt. I hope the next chapter won't take as long to write.
Thank you for your reviews, PMs, alerts, follows, favs. I really appreciate that. I hope you enjoy the update and then try to wait patiently for the next one. *grin*
Jeff's eyes narrowed on Matt Stryker's smug face. The dude had been seriously pissing the fuck out of him the past few days with his impromptu interviews. Did they really need to do this one at six in the fucking morning? Besides the little matter of a Pay Per View on tonight, he had a full day of media to get through.
He looked away from the man sitting opposite him and twiddled his thumbs again. The small hotel room was a hive of activity as the crew set up the equipment. Someone had even thrown expensive looking throws and cushions on the ugly couch he was sitting on - Vince's worst couch to date - and put flower vases and a pretty picture behind it.
As if people didn't already know what Vince was trying to do? He'd finally found a few minutes to go online to check out. Among the few snippets he'd watched were short videos of all the rooms he and Keri had occupied till now. Rooms designed to promote blue balls by making the beds the only comfortable and inviting space. The WWE Universe thought it was fucking hilarious.
Too bad for Vince that Keri hadn't actually slept in any of those sprawling beds since their 'talk' after the Smackdown taping. She might as well have moved in with fucking Orton.
"Do you think she'll be much longer?" Stryker asked.
"I hope so. I hope she ignored your calls and is actually still sleeping. She needs her rest."
He had a radio interview at 9, some Make-A-Wish commitments and signings afterwards that would last until he had to be at the arena for a last run through of his match with Matt. Unlike all his previous media commitments Keri had to go with him to promote Backlash, the Hardy feud and the reality show.
"You just don't want to do the joint interview," Stryker chuckled.
"I don't want to do any interview, period. I don't see why anyone is getting any enjoyment out of this shit."
"From where I'm standing, it's very funny," Stryker grinned.
"Then you're sick in the fucking head," he grumbled.
They all were, Vince especially.
He twiddled his thumbs again and wished for the millionth time the past two days that he hadn't committed himself to giving up smoking. This was the worst time to do that. But the babies were coming soon; he had to be in perfect health to watch them grow.
"You seem very agitated. Nerves?"
"No! I haven't had a cigarette in two days, that's all. Got to stay healthy for Keri."
"And the babies."
"What?"
"You've got to stay healthy for Keri and the babies," Stryker grinned.
"Of course," he said with a frown.
"You looking forward to that?"
"Scared shitless. We're going to be responsible for moulding two little minds, you know? I don't blame Matt and all the guys for thinking we're not ready for this."
"But are you?"
"We will be. We'll do our best. They couldn't have asked for a better mother. Keri will be absolutely amazing with them, I know it. I just hope I don't disappoint her."
"She thinks you're the one who'll be amazing with them. Said so in our last interview."
He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, still twiddling his thumbs as he looked at the activity in the room.
"She doesn't know her own strength. Never has. If these kids come out with half her strength, her loyalty, her courage, determination… they'll be the luckiest kids out there. And they'll never feel unloved or unwanted because Keri has a lot of that to give."
The activity quietened down as the crew finally had everything in place in the small space they had to work with.
"Over the years I've clashed with her over a lot of things but… once we knew she was pregnant, when she was scared and all that and I promised to be there for her and the babies… I never once thought she would be a bad mother. I might have said it to her face once or twice when we argued but I never believed it. And the more time we've had to get used to the idea of us being parents the more I've realised she was born for this. She was born to be somebody's wife and to raise babies. She'll give one hundred and ten percent, just like she does with everything else."
"Does this mean you're finally going to ask her to marry you?"
He stopped twiddling and looked at Stryker sharply, remembering what this was. Damn man had a way of making him talk when he didn't want to. He'd have to seriously consider getting down on his fucking knees and begging Vince to edit a bunch of shit out. It was a good thing they hadn't actually started recording the interview right now.
"Do I have time to change?"
He was in the sweats and T-shirt he'd gone to bed in, because sleeping in the nude was a thing of the past now after Keri ambushed him the last night they'd shared a room. And his hair was a mess. He hadn't bothered with it when he'd opened the door for the crew.
Stryker grinned at the obvious change of subject.
"Sure," he answered.
But just as he said that the door burst open and Keri rushed in.
"Sorry I'm late," she said cheerily.
The fuck was she so happy about? It was too damn early in the morning.
"Had to take some time to make myself look good," she grinned.
His mood improved as he watched every graceful step she took towards them.
Good? She looked amazing! She wore a baby-doll top and jeggings that moulded her perfect behind – nothing fancy – but for some reason the bump made everything about her look more irresistible. Her hair was up in a messy but stylish bun and she'd applied a little makeup. And that ever-present glow shone through like a beacon. Maybe he'd developed a fetish for pregnant women. No, not all pregnant women. Just this one. Made him wish he could keep impregnating her just so he could see her like this all the time.
"You look gorgeous," Stryker said as he rose to his feet and offered her a kiss on the cheek.
Like they'd become friends in the past few days or something. With her social skills, he didn't doubt that.
"Thank you," Keri smiled.
He rose to his feet, too, and hesitated. Keri's smile lost a little of its shine when she noticed that. He cleared his throat.
"Don't apologise. You're worth the wait," he said.
The shine came back. And just like that he didn't feel pissed off about the interview anymore. How could he be when it meant he got to spent a little time in her company without that stupid Orton?
He bent down and kissed her cheek, and then when he lifted his head he held her gaze.
"Morning, mother of my children," he said softly.
The shine increased. Maybe living with her, being so close to her wouldn't be so bad if he got that smile everyday.
"Morning, father of my children," Keri said.
"You're making me look bad," he said, looking down at his attire.
"Bullshit. Your fan girls - and guys - are going to buy this show just to see you like this." She brushed his statement off as she walked to sit down.
He took a moment to ponder that. Part of him believed that she would be one of those fan girls. But it didn't matter now. He'd missed that ship months ago.
He sat next to her, leaving enough space between them to show the viewers they were on friendly terms but not intimate.
Stryker chuckled but didn't comment on it.
"So are you guys excited about your first interview together?"
Keri snorted. He felt the start of a grin form on his lips. They may not have agreed on much over the years but they agreed on this. This show sucked.
"Shall we start the interview now?" Keri asked.
"We started a while ago," Stryker said.
While he'd learned to be somewhat himself with all the cameras following him these interviews made him more guarded. Obviously Stryker had caught on to that and taken advantage. And had recorded everything he had said about Keri.
"Dick," he muttered.
Stryker gave another grin.
"Neither of you have expressed your thoughts on anything going on in your lives right now," Matt said. "Obviously they've only seen a few trailers but you've got the whole Universe very curious about a lot of things."
"Not true. We do vlogs every night, and express our thoughts quite clearly," he said.
"Very concisely," Keri agreed.
"Yeah, but you talk about the weather," Stryker said dryly.
"We've had a string of very beautiful days," Keri said with a shrug. "Sunny, slight breeze here and there, and the moon last night was fucking amazing."
And she had her serious face on. This time he did grin.
"Uh huh," Matt said, not fazed at all. "Well, we're going to talk about something else today. Have either of you heard about all the buzz your show has created? There's so much anticipation that the pre order figures are through the roof."
"I've been a bit busy lately," Keri said. "And tired. I sleep when I get free time."
He turned his head her. She did look tired despite her breezy cheerfulness.
"Is it getting too much? Do you want to go and rest at home?" he asked with a frown.
Though he wanted her at home for other reasons, taking care of her wellbeing was top on his list.
"I'm fine," she answered.
He didn't buy that. The more he studied her the more he saw through the happy mask she'd walked in with.
"I am," she insisted.
"After this I'm buying breakfast then after you eat every bit of it you're going to get into that bed and rest."
"I'm supposed to do the radio interview with you_"
"Don't worry about that."
He held her gaze for a moment and wondered if he'd just sounded like he thought she wasn't looking after the babies properly again.
"There's no shame in letting someone else take care of you sometimes," he said gently.
"You do that a lot."
"I like it," he said with a little shrug.
He must have said the right thing. The hazel eyes softened and she looked away.
"Just for a little while," she muttered.
He smiled and looked back at Stryker.
"Aw. You're already acting like a married couple. Just give her the ring and put everyone out of their misery."
He tensed. Matt had still given him mum's ring despite all his protests. If Stryker mentioned one word about that...
"I'll put you out of your misery if you don't shut up about that," Keri snapped. "Why the hell does everyone keep talking about marriage? I don't need a ring on my finger to have babies! It's not like they're going to barricade themselves in there until somebody asks to marry me."
Stryker looked slightly taken aback.
"So you're saying you don't want to get married anymore?" Stryker asked with a raised brow.
Obviously he'd recovered quickly. Where the hell were the boundaries? Stryker knew the topic of marriage was out of bounds.
"I'm not thinking about that right now," Keri said with an irritated frown. "Are these the type of questions you're going to ask throughout?"
"You mean personal questions?" Stryker asked. "This is a reality show. It's nothing but personal."
"No, I mean stupid questions. I've got half a mind to just..."
When her voice trailed off he looked away from Stryker to her face. Something was wrong. And with the way she had her hands on the bump, it was obviously the babies.
"What is it?"
He closed the gap between them to put his hand over hers on her stomach.
"Should I call a doctor?" he asked, anxiously studying her face.
But when he met her gaze it wasn't worry he saw in her eyes. She moved her hand and gently moved his into its place.
And he felt it.
A little kick.
The worry left him just as fast as it had come to be replaced by something else. An overwhelming love for the little lives he'd created and an acute longing for the day he would finally have them in his arms.
He felt the movement again, this time a little stronger. His eyes trailed down to her stomach and he gently put his other hand on it. His mouth dropped open when he felt it again. A knee? A foot? Was it just one of them or both? He'd known they were little people from the time he had seen the sonogram, but this… it made them real. His children. His legacy. Would they be like him or their mother, or completely different? Would they be identical? Would they be proud of their parents? Four and a half months seemed like too long to wait to get the answers; to finally start this new and permanent phase of his life. He would be a daddy. No matter what happened with Keri, he would always be the daddy.
He lifted his head to look at their mother's face and saw her hazel eyes shining with love as she looked at him. For him or for their babies? He desperately wanted to believe it was love for him, even after everything he had put her through, even when nothing would come of it.
Because his love for her seemed to be burning brighter than it had ever done before. This woman would always be the only one his heart would beat for.
He brought his head down to hers slowly, uncertainly.
She didn't pull away. Part of him believed Keri would never pull away from him, which was probably the root of the problem. How would they move on from this if they couldn't extinguish this fire?
Her lips were soft and tasted of cherry lip gloss. He loved cherries. He loved her lips. Perfect combination. His tongue snaked out to taste more of her before he gently sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. He allowed himself only a moment, because any longer than that and he wouldn't stop. When he lifted his head to meet her gaze again he was struck again by the intensity of what he could see in them. Lust? Love?
Someone cleared their throat and broke the moment. It was funny how Keri always made him forget everyone else in the room. His eyes narrowed on Stryker and the stupid grin as he put some distance between him and Keri. Not too much, though. One hand remained on her stomach.
He knew he'd just shown the Universe how messed up his head was. One minute he was insisting he wanted Keri to find someone else and the next he was kissing her. But he'd just felt his babies kick for fuck's sake! It was an emotional moment and he could be forgiven for doing that. Any man without a heart made of stone would have done exactly the same.
It didn't mean anything more than what it actually was. Keri would know that.
Wouldn't she?
He looked at her face and saw her flushed cheeks and her fingers messing with the hem of her top. Would she know that kiss wouldn't lead to anything?
"Shall we continue?" Stryker chuckled.
"Please," Keri answered drily.
"After that display I just have to ask. Why the hell aren't you together?"
He remained quiet. Keri seemed to have the same idea.
"You know we're going to keep pushing and looking through the footage we already have to find the answers, don't you?"
Stupid reality show.
"This isn't a fucking fairytale, Stryker," he ground out. "People don't always get what they want."
"And what you want is?" Stryker asked.
"It doesn't matter what I want. I've got what I deserve."
He felt Keri's gaze on him after he said that. What did she expect him to say? He'd screwed up, now he had to go through all this unbearable pain of being with her without actually being with her.
"What do you mean by that? You've been very cryptic when it comes to actually explaining your reasons for not doing the decent thing_"
"I am doing the decent thing," he growled.
"The decent thing? Staying in my life just because you knocked me up?" Keri asked.
Her voice was so low he almost didn't hear her. But he heard the pain behind every word.
"I'm taking responsibility, yes, but that's not what I mean. The decent thing. Making sure the things I've done to you don't stop you from living the life you want with the people you want."
He finally met her gaze head on so she could understand what he really meant. But instead of seeing understanding in those hazel depths he saw heated anger.
"Oh, so you're doing me a favour?" Keri asked through her teeth.
"I'm here because I want to be. I'd be all broken up if you told me to stay away from you. So, no. I'm not doing you a favour. I'm doing myself a favour."
Keri frowned. Could she really not understand what he was saying? He was a fucking rapist. There was no way back from that.
He dropped his hand from her stomach to grasp hers in her lap.
"I'm going to say this now just in case you or anybody else has any doubts. Even if you weren't having my babies, I'd still say the same. I'd be broken up… devastated… if I didn't have you in my life."
She was still frowning. Still confused. He'd have to find some time away from the cameras to really talk this through with her.
"This goes back to the night you proposed to her and she nearly slapped your head off," Stryker said. "Do you want to talk us through that day?"
The sex, realising he was in love with her, the big revelation about her past or the rejection? None of it was an option. Keri squeezed his hand, so he knew she agreed with him.
"There's nothing to say," he said.
"We all want to know," Stryker continued, like Jeff hadn't even spoken, "what was going through your head at the time."
"It really doesn't matter_"
"Were you angry?" Stryker shot off quickly.
"Yeah. I never have and never will tolerate anybody hurting Keri in any way."
"So you were you feeling sorry for her?"
"I was too angry to feel anything else," he answered truthfully. "Besides, Keri doesn't need anybody's pity."
"You'd just found out she was pregnant. That's why you asked, isn't it?"
"Of course not! How can you even think_?"
"So why did you ask?"
He almost blurted it out. I asked because I fucking love her. But Stryker already knew that. He'd slipped up a few times already and said it, now Stryker was obviously trying to make him say it in front of Keri.
Keri, who was still looking at him with those big, pretty eyes. At least she wasn't angry anymore. But it was almost as if she was holding her breath for his answer. But she shouldn't worry. He wasn't going to embarrass her by admitting his love for the cameras.
"We have a long day ahead of us," he said. "We should wrap this up."
Maybe it was his imagination, but he saw disappointment flash fleetingly in her eyes. He looked away to meet Stryker's gaze. The man was playing hardball with his questions, trying to trip him up just to cause a little bit of drama again. What was the point of telling Keri how he felt?
"We still have a lot of ground to cover. I haven't really spoken to Keri_"
"We're done," he said firmly.
Stryker smirked then nodded his head.
He didn't wait for Stryker to formally wrap the interview up; he stood and with Keri's hand still in his, helped her up, too. But with all the people in their room there was really nowhere he could run to without looking like too much of an idiot. So he walked Keri round to the bed and asked her to sit while he dug up the room service menu.
"Why don't you order for us while I grab a shower?"
He was feeling a bit too exposed right now. All these people knew all his private stuff, all the things he really didn't want anybody to know. All the sex he'd had with Keri, all the fights, the night he almost killed a man, the night he'd been rejected… He needed a few minutes in the bathroom, away from all this insanity, to get his head right.
By the time the car finally drove up to the arena he felt sufficiently mentally equipped to deal with anyone who dropped a bomb on him like Stryker had. He'd had plenty of practice. It seemed that Keri was all anybody wanted to talk about today, and their disappointment that she hadn't been with him had been almost comical. He could only imagine the sort of questions that would have popped up if Keri had been sitting right next to him.
Matt was waiting for him in the locker room when he got there, so he quickly changed into suitable attire. They could do most of their spots in their sleep but he was slightly concerned about some of it. They had to make sure they didn't fuck up.
It took a while for him to be satisfied, with Matt telling him over and over that it would be fine.
"Have you seen Keri today?" he asked when they were finally making their way to the back.
"Yeah. Is she alright? She was a bit too quiet," Matt answered.
He wiped the sweat from his face with the towel hanging around his neck before taking a drink from his water bottle.
"She's fine. We had an early morning interview with Stryker, and I didn't like the questions so I made him stop. Maybe she's just thinking about that."
"What sort of questions?"
"About that night. About why I asked her to marry me."
"And you still couldn't tell her the truth, huh? You didn't say something stupid like,' I don't love you', did you?"
"Of course not. I didn't say anything."
They came up to the locker room but Matt pulled him back before he could open the door.
"Tell me honestly. I know you love her; I know it's killing you not to be with her… Why aren't you telling her?"
He looked over at his constant companions then back at Matt. But even if the crew wasn't there, there was no way he'd admit to his brother what he'd done.
"She'll do a lot better than me," he muttered, then pushed the door open.
A lot of the superstars he was sharing with were already there. The show was meant to start in an hour so everyone was busy getting prepared. But all he had left to do for tonight was to get stretched out a bit before his match, so he had a bit of time to kill.
"I'm going to find her, to see if she's okay," he said as he threw his towel in his locker and picked his bottle of water back up. "See you later."
But it seemed Keri didn't want to be found. For a change she wasn't with Orton or Cena.
"What did you do to her?" Randy asked before he'd even had a chance to ask where she was.
"Nothing. I've been gone all day," he answered with an irritated frown.
Why did everyone always assume he was always to blame for her mood swings?
"You did something," Randy insisted, walking up to the door. "And you better make it right because if I have to listen to her cry one more night_"
"She cries?"
"She always fucking cries. You make her cry," Randy growled.
"There are cameras all over our room. Randy's starting to look really soft because he's being all caring, sensitive and shit. Really, really soft," John said.
"Shut up," Randy said to his friend before turning back to him. "Find her and fix it."
Then the door was slammed in his face.
He frowned. Keri hadn't slept in their room lately but during the day they'd been getting along pretty good. Why would she cry?
Because she was unhappy? Did she feel cornered because she was having his kids when she didn't really want to? Or was it something else? Was it because she didn't want to stay away from him like he was forcing her to?
He slowly turned from the closed door and looked up and down the hallway. He didn't want to find her now. To say what? I'm sorry I fucked up your life? Or I'm sorry you care for me more than you should?
So he turned back the way he had come towards the busy Catering area. He was starving but he didn't feel like eating anymore. Still, that was a better option than going back to his locker room with Matt there asking questions.
He'd been ignoring everyone else and looking at his sandwich and salad for what seemed like hours when someone came to sit at his table.
"You look like you could use a friend."
He looked up quickly to see Maria sitting opposite him. She had a warm smile on her face as if their brief relationship was now finally in the past where it belonged.
"Ria! Hi," he said, smiling back at her.
He hadn't spoken to her since Wrestlemania.
"You waiting for someone?" Maria asked as she started picking at her salad.
"No. Just trying to stay out of everyone's way."
"What have you done this time?"
He rolled his eyes.
"Nothing. I'm not always a dick, you know."
"I know. I was just kidding," Maria said with a slight frown.
"Sorry," he grumbled.
"Wanna talk about it?"
And be humiliated even further?
"Not really. Let's talk about something else."
Keri wandered up and down the arena hallways looking for Jeff. She'd been told he was looking for her, and she really needed to talk to him.
She hadn't had a wink of sleep after Jeff had left, wondering what he meant. If he hadn't asked her to marry him out of pity or for convenience then could it be that he was really in love with her? Or he hadn't wanted to say the he wasn't in love with her because it would have embarrassed her on TV?
She had to know. The uncertainty had been eating at her all day. Fuck the cameras.
Maybe he did love her but didn't want them together because of what he thought he'd done to her? The only thing that could be that bad was the morning they'd slept together the first time. Could he really still be cut up about that? He hadn't raped her! Well, not really... Sure, she might have asked him not to take her like that, she might have said no... Okay, so maybe they'd been a little resistance at first...
But damn it, she'd told him she didn't feel violated! The moment he'd touched her she'd wanted him more than anything she'd ever wanted in her life. Being with him was the most intense feeling she ever had; she would never regret it.
Maybe if she made him understand that he'd be open to the idea of a real relationship. Then maybe in time he would fall in love with her, too.
The past few nights... Making all the plans she'd made had just hammered in the fact that she wanted nothing more than to include him in them. It wasn't just that she didn't want to be a single parent... Honestly, if she didn't have Jeff, being a single parent was a much more attractive notion than being with another man.
If they could just talk about this; if she could get her thoughts out in the open maybe Jeff would be straight with her, too.
Laughter rang out from somewhere further up the hallway and her heart skipped a best when she recognised it. Her feet carried her forward without her realising it until she stood right by the catering area.
Then she froze.
Her heart dropped right down to her stomach when she saw who he was sitting with. Who he was laughing so freely with. Even with so many people talking and walking around them, they looked like they were in their own world.
"I'd missed this," Jeff said. "I'd almost forgotten how crazy you are."
"I missed this, too," Maria said.
How could she have so easily forgotten about the woman Jeff had been with before the baby bomb? The woman he'd once wanted to marry? Was Maria the real reason he'd refused to take their crazy relationship any further?
She took a step back. Who was she kidding? She was the reason Jeff didn't want a relationship, not Maria. Jeff, more than anyone else, knew just how messed up she was.
"So do you want to meet at the bar or will you pick me up?" Maria asked.
Her heart cracked.
She bit her lip as she turned away, but her escape was blocked by a rather hard, muscular wall. When she looked up, Randy's gaze was on the couple sitting with their heads close together just a few feet away from them.
"Still think you'll be able to handle it when he brings a girl home?" he asked softly.
Now really wasn't the time for Randy to rub that in. It was like being kicked while she was already down.
Without answering him, she walked around him and towards wardrobe to get ready for the night.
"So do you want to meet at the bar or will you pick me up?" Maria asked.
He really wasn't in a partying mood. And even though they were talking now, he didn't think now was the right time to try to be friends again.
He looked up from his now empty plate to watch the people bustling around him and froze when he saw who was standing right by the entrance.
Fuck!
Randy's eyes were shooting icy daggers at him, and Keri stood right in front of him. He couldn't hear what Randy said to her, but it was quite obvious he was the topic of conversation. Possibly Maria, too, if the rigid set of Keri's shoulders was anything to go by. Maybe he'd done something that would make Keri cry again, when he'd been warned not to.
"I guess the silence means no?" Maria asked.
When Keri walked away without even looking back at him, he sighed and looked at Maria.
"I'm sorry. Maybe another time," he said with a small smile.
Maria nodded and wiped her mouth with a napkin.
"It's fine. I really didn't expect you to anyway," she said as she stood up. "You've got too much on your plate. Maybe another time?"
"Sure," he smiled again.
He said goodbye then watched Maria walk out, stopping a little to speak to Randy when she noticed him. Randy gave him one last look before turning and walking away with Maria.
"Fuck!"
He pushed his plate away, not wanting to dwell on the thought that Keri might have been jealous. He'd thought that before the day Keri had accompanied him to a signing and the ring rat had asked for his signature on her chest. It had pleased him a little then. But it was freaking him out now.
Because Keri being jealous would mean she did have feelings for him.
And that would make him all kinds of messed up because whether she loved him or not, whether he loved her or not, didn't change the fact that he'd hurt her in the worst possible way. He'd spend his whole life in this hell if he had to, even though that wouldn't make up for what he'd done.
The Brother versus Brother I Quit match went off almost without a hitch. Almost. As Jeff lifted his hands in victory he was quite positive he'd hurt Matt. A few words with his brother, who was all tied up on the now broken table confirmed this.
He kept up the pretence of the feud as he slid out of the ring and took Keri's hand.
"But he's hurt," Keri said, resisting him.
She'd screamed, as she did during all their matches, with every shot he and Matt had made.
"The quicker we get out of here the sooner he'll get help," he said in her ear.
They were waiting for Matt behind the curtain before long.
"He'd already quit! Why the Fuck did you have to do that?"
"We worked on that many times," Jeff frowned as he pushed the Trainer away. He was hurt but his brother needed more attention than he did.
"Then both of you are stupid! Who the hell jumps over a freaking ladder onto a helpless man? And who would agree to being tied up like that on those flimsy tables? That was an accident waiting to happen," Keri ranted as she paced around the Gorilla.
Matt was helped through the curtain and Keri stopped her pacing and immediately went to his side.
"What hurts?" Keri asked.
"My hand. I think it's broken," Matt answered through his teeth. It looked like every step he took was hurting him.
"Shit, I'm sorry," he said as he went forward, too.
"My fault," Matt said with a wince.
"I need to do a quick exam," a Trainer said as he carefully led Matt into a room that had been set aside for that. "But I think you're right. An ambulance is waiting; you'll be at the hospital in a few minutes."
Jeff followed the ambulance in his rental with Keri in the passenger seat. She'd been rather quiet since her little rant.
"He'll be fine," he said softly, taking his hand from the wheel to lay it on her knee.
"I know," Keri muttered, moving her leg out of the way.
He risked a sideways glance at her. She was tense. He suspected it was because of what had happened before the show but there was no way he was going to explain any of that if she didn't actually ask him.
"I'm going to go home with Mattie. He's going to need someone to take care of him," she said.
Or she didn't want to be around him much longer. It hurt, but he had to suck it up. He was a man, not a freaking teenager. Losing Keri wasn't going to kill him. They'd both eventually get past this.
"I think that would be for the best," he said.
Keri didn't say anything else for the rest of the journey. At the hospital they were led to a semi private waiting room with their camera crew. But those guys would have been better off staying back at the hotel because Keri didn't speak to him there either. And hours later, after Matt had been x-rayed and his hand set, she opted to spend the rest of the night on Mattie's couch. Just in case he needed anything, she said.
He knew better, though. But at least she hadn't gone back to Orton's.
Keri packed the last thing into her bag then smiled up at Randy as he zipped it up for her.
"Is that everything?" Randy asked.
"I think so. If I've left anything I'm sure Jeff will bring it home."
The smile on her face faltered when she looked at the man in question. He'd been sitting on the couch throwing Randy dark looks ever since they'd walked in half an hour earlier. It was confusing her and quite frankly she was tired of all the drama.
"I still don't get why you can't stay with me a while longer," Randy grumbled. "It's not like you'll be cooking for him, or helping him piss or anything."
She rolled her eyes at him and she packed up her and Matt's travelling information into her bag. For a change she'd been in charge of that.
"You say the nicest things," she said sarcastically.
"You know what I mean. If you go now you'll probably not come back again."
She stopped looking through her handbag to smile at her friend. He'd been in a mood since she'd told him her plans.
"The first thing I'll do when I get home is make sure I do up a room ready for whenever you want to visit."
"Yeah, because that's the same thing as having you here everyday," Randy grunted.
Her smile grew wider. It actually felt good to know there would be people missing her. John, Ted and Cody were waiting for her downstairs; she knew they were a bit bummed, too.
"Come tonight after Raw. You can spend your days off helping me with the nursery."
"No," Jeff growled. "They're my kids. I'll do the nursery myself."
She bit her tongue and threw Jeff another glance. His gaze was cold and hard, almost like the days before all this sexual stuff started. What was it he'd said yesterday? It would devastate him if she wasn't in his life? Well, it didn't look like it from where she was standing.
"Fine. He'll help me with other things, then."
Jeff had nothing to say to that but she could tell he was angry. Whatever. She was moving on just like he'd asked her to.
"Then I'll book my ticket as soon as possible," Randy said as he walked to the door. "Finish up here, I'll meet you downstairs."
The last thing she wanted was to be alone with Jeff right now but there was something she needed to say.
When she was satisfied she had all her belongings she turned to face him.
"I'm going to spend a little time with the guys downstairs while I wait for Matt," she said.
Jeff only nodded. There was nothing in his green eyes or his face that indicated that this was as hard for him as it was for her. The man who'd been so sweet when he'd felt his babies kick for the first time yesterday seemed to have disappeared.
She let out a sigh and closed her eyes.
"I can't do this," she whispered.
"This?"
She opened her eyes and met his gaze again.
"I don't think living together will work. I know it's not fair because it's your house, but you were right. If we brought our kids up in the middle of this shit we'll mess them up."
She turned away from him walked to the door. This was really it. This was the first step. Cutting herself off from him. Her heart hadn't stopped hurting since she'd made that decision and now it felt like it had completely shattered.
"See you around, Jeff."
"See ya."
Oh, Jeff. I wonder what you'll do next.
I'm trying to wrap this one up as soon as possible. I'm guessing another 4 or so chapters.