The Referee

Mercedes didn't currently need her. She and Sam were back at home and spending some time resting from that last wave of traveling, so she was able to make it home, get some business taken care of and check on Beth at boarding school. Beth hadn't wanted to come traveling with her. "Uncle Stevie said that homeschooling sucks because you never get to see your friends and your schedule might not be as structured," Beth had said. Who the hell asked "Uncle" Stevie? So, Quinn set her up with an Ohio boarding school, instead, as to not have her being bounced around between her friends, like she had done a lot when she was little, and hopefully, Beth would enjoy it enough there to want to stay while she finished up this pregnancy with Mercedes.

Beth was really enjoying things. She got to have "sleepovers" with kids her own age for a change. She learned so much and some of the kids thought that she was famous because she told them that her mom was "on" The R Word. As far as Quinn could see, the 9 year old had it more together than she did.

After their visit, Quinn went back home to finally relax, but seeing Cooper's car outside told her that was not going to be an option. She came into her house and called out, "Coop?" She smelled something and went into the kitchen.

He turned at the sight of her and scoffed, "You're back early!" He complained.

"What have you got there?" She wondered, looking at a leg of lamb being smothered in some type of marinade or glaze.

"The start of dinner," he said. "I am really ready to have a serious conversation about us and I figured, you're back in town, I'm in between assignments, fate is smiling…"

"She was getting ready to laugh, is why," she told him and took off her heels to go put them away. From the bedroom she called out, "Well, you can start talking, then. If this serious conversation doesn't go as planned, you wouldn't want to waste such a delicious looking slab of meat on me." She found her way back into the kitchen and waited to see if he had even heard her.

"I've never wasted anything on you Quinn. I've always felt that you were very deserving." He finished with prepping the meat and put it on to roast. While washing his hands, he resumed, "That's why this time apart has been extremely unsettling. I keep thinking about the things that you said to me and every time I consider them, I realize that I made you feel like I didn't care about you."

"That's not entirely true," she said. "I just felt like maybe we weren't on the same path. It's normal and it happens."

"But, we never actually broke up. Two people who are very logical and straightforward who have spent the duration of our relationship telling each other exactly how we feel…"

"Not exactly. I didn't know that you didn't want babies," she said.

"I didn't know that hypothetical babies were important enough to cause such a rift. If you were telling me that you wanted to have a baby, we would have made a decision together."

"Your mind was already made up!"

"That's the entire purpose of compromise. To come to decisions and conclusions that will be beneficial to all opposing goals."

"A baby is not something to compromise and I would never make one on an ultimatum."

"An ultimatum would be if…"

"Coop, let me stop you, because no amount of semantics in the English language is going to make me see your distaste for having babies as anything else." They were quiet for a moment. "I introduced you to my child. Granted, I didn't realize that you and I would be something, when I did. You were so good with her. It was one of the things that I liked about you. Her father was gone, her male role models were out of reach, and there you were, being a flicker of light where she had lost so many people already… and then fast forward to you telling me that kids are not your 'thing.'"

"I said babies, but I had already gotten used to Beth and I care about her because she is a part of you and a charming kid!"

"I happen to think that you merely tolerated her because you wanted to be with me, and some part of you never actually connected with her because you knew that you didn't have to, because she's not yours. But, if you had a kid of your own, then you would have to step up, be their father… I can't…" She shook her head and tried to control her trembling. "I can't be with someone who doesn't love my daughter as much as or more than me. It's too important to her to be loved, to receive the love that she deserves while she is young. She can't start learning about being loved when she's an adult or a teenager. I can't let that happen."

"I do love her. Maybe I should have said that, but I'm all in with both of you. That's why I'm here. I spoke with Beth before this and she seemed pleased about the idea. I warned her that it wasn't a guarantee, that you might say no, but…"

"Wait… You… spoke with my nine year old about us? That's not her business, and not your place!"

"I wanted to ask her if it would be okay if…"

"She's nine! She doesn't get to decide what's okay!"

"Will you just listen to me and let me goddamned propose to you?" He said loudly, but not yelling. She froze. He laughed and shook his head, "I thought that would be the kind of proof that you needed that Beth is just as important to me as she is to you. It was more like me having a moment to ask her about how she would feel about our lives becoming one than me asking her for a decision. God."

She looked completely confused, "We got into a fight, didn't speak for weeks, when we did speak, it was completely casual and unassuming, so you decided to visit my daughter without my permission and tell her that you want to marry me?"

"It sounds worse than what it is. This is organic. It is me making myself open to a life with you and Beth, where we're an actual family. The love that both of you deserve." She felt tears h9ot on her cheeks as he pulled a ring out of his pocket, "Blaine wanted to give this to Kurt, but our father insisted that his family ring go to his firstborn. Blaine said, 'Dad, you know that Cooper will NEVER get married!' and Dad told him, 'But, if by chance he does, I want to live to see that ring on his wife's finger." She wiped away her tears. "I don't want us to go back to what we were. I want us to come together. You with your problem solving and me with my puzzle piecing and for us to make this work. I have a job offering…" She gasped and her eyes widened. "In DC. It is going to be extremely lucrative and a huge honor. I want you and Beth to come with me."

"To.. to Washington DC?"

"Yes, sorry. I should have clarified…" he joked. She shook her head. "No? No to… all of it?"

"I can't," she said. "We would have to fix this before I could agree to marrying you and uprooting Beth and taking her to a new, unfamiliar city to start over while you get used to a new and sounds like more demanding job." He put the ring away and sighed. "Are you willing to maybe… give me a chance to think about this?"

"I have to leave in a week. If it took more than that, I would be gone and setting up and getting used to the situation in DC by the time you make up your mind." He chuckled. "Meanwhile, Beth was on board with everything."

"She doesn't know any better."

"Or, she's just not afraid of as much." He stood up, "I'm sorry that I didn't try to fix things sooner."

"So.. You won't give me time to think about this?"

"Come on, Quinn. We both know that your first answer is always your last. And your first answer was 'no.' You said that we would have to fix this before you could agree to it, but if you believed it was worth fixing or able to be fixed, you would have said yes and worked on it from the middle."

She distorted her face in pain, "That does sound like me…"

"I love you, and I hope that you and Beth find what you deserve, if it isn't me." He squeezed her shoulder and began to take off the apron, "Baste the lamb every 20 to 30 minutes, and it shouldn't cook more than two hours and forty minutes. There's ingredients for sides in the fridge and pantry. Keep in touch." he set the apron down and casually left, but returned a moment later to set his keys on her island and when he did, he looked like he'd been crying..

.

Stacie was setting up the pumpkins outside of the community center when Quinn rushed in, not even noticing her. The younger woman, curious set down the pumpkin she currently was holding and made her way inside. She looked around for Quinn and looked around for Joe, but didn't see either of them until one of the camera men said, "They went into his office." She nodded and headed in that direction. Stacie went to open the door, but it was locked, so she knocked on it.

"Occupied," Joe called out. That was something that he sometimes said when he needed to not be interrupted, but since this was Quinn, Stacie knocked again. "Please come back later."

"I am not going to do that. Unlock the door, please."

After some shuffling, he opened the door and didn't look pleased about it, "Stacie, I am counseling right now," he said and hung the DND hanger on the outside of his door."

"Ok, but that's Quinn and you're not supposed to be counseling her. She can afford professional help. She isn't a member of this community and she's not even your friend anymore…"

Joe said softly, "She is a member of the human race and she is in need of help right now. You know that I can't turn someone away if they need my help..."

Quinn pushed passed him and headed out, her face red and filled with tears, "No, I'll go. Why would I think that I could come to someone who promised I always could now that he has a girlfriend who apparently controls his life."

"I don't try to control his life, you're just bad news and I'd prefer that he remained protected from you."

"Stacie…" Joe inserted.

"Bad news? I'm bad news. But your brother was in prison for murder and beat conspiracy to commit rape charges. I'm bad news because I wanted him gone? Okay, Child."

"Quinn..." Joe tried, yet again.

"My brother served time and has since made amends with people that he hurt when he thought of them as enemies. He was wrong and he does have to live with some of those people hating him. You, on the other hand hurt the people that call you a friend!"

"Both of you really need to calm down. Let's take this into my office…"

"You act like the only thing that you ever did was try to get my brother killed, as if that wasn't enough for me. You had a baby with your best friend's man and later got him killed…"

"I have made my amends! And I find it interesting that my amends aren't good enough for you to forgive when your entire schtick is 'look at what a pure and innocent Christian soul I art," Joe was separating the two, but they were yelling at each other through him and around him..

"Your choices broke my family!"

"Your brother's choices broke MANY families. Why don't you just admit that the real reason that you don't like me or want me here is because you're worried that I will steal Joe from you…"

Stacie slapped her across the face, and it echoed across the emptiness of the gym, but Joe immediately stepped between them and held her back, "What are you doing? What is wrong with you?" He asked.

"She's not as perfect as she likes to think, I guess," Quinn said and chuckled, before storming off.

Stacie moved like she was going to go after her, but Joe gently grabbed her arm and pulled her into the office. "You, stay here, please. I will talk to you, after I've had a chance to check on her." He gave chase to Quinn and Stacie angrily kicked the desk, but sat down, fuming.

"Quinn! Quinn!" Joe called.

"She has no right to treat me that way! I spent years being abused by men like Sam. I spent years trying to fix myself and work on my trauma. Anything that I ever did, I tried so hard to be a good person. He didn't. He didn't care about it until he got caught and hurt and betrayed, himself! Her mother didn't. She died holding on to her evil ways. Her twin is a murdering racist, probably a rapist from the shit that Cheri has told us that he's into - a fucking psychopath in sheep's clothing. She has murderers and racists at her house on a daily. The one that she can't forget is the one that you were in love with when she met you and if you don't think that her hostility against me is completely unfair, then you and I were never friends!"

Joe sighed and folded his arms. "I do think that it's unfair." She sighed with relief. "But, I also think that people are entitled to feel the way that they feel about whatever. I'm with her. We're involved. We're in love. It is completely unfair that she treats you how she does, when statistics show that she has been forgiving with others for equal or greater sins. It has nothing to do with what you've done and everything to do with me. I know that."

"You're okay being with someone who does that to your friends?"

He held his hands out, "I don't want to be that guy, but you've done some particularly unkind thing to my friends, as well. More than she ever has and… I still loved you. I chose you. I had your back. Because, to me - that is a part of being in love with someone."

"I never thought that I would be on the receiving end of this. You never shut anybody off for me. I never would have asked you to."

"If you had, I would have…"

He held out his arms to give her a hug, but she shook her head. "No thank you. I know where I stand with you." Quinn shrugged her shoulders and held both of her arms out to her sides, "She's not perfect, but she really is a great girl. I wish you the best.."

"Are you going to marry Cooper? Ask him to take you back?"

She laughed and shook her head, "Technically, he broke up with me. Everybody gets tired of my shit, after a while."

"Do you have anybody that you can go to right now? I'm worried about you."

"Don't. I wouldn't want your girlfriend to remind us again of the reasons I'm not worth the worry." She got into her car and peeled off.

Stacie was sitting with her arms folded when Joe came in, quietly and just sat at his desk. He didn't say anything, for a while, and she was waiting, he supposed for him to begin. "Sometimes, I forget how young you are and how much you've been through…" That was a bad start, as far as she was concerned. "I remember all of the things that happened to you, but I often forget that you were just a kid and your world was being attacked from every side. That's scary and tough. You were really strong and brave, the whole time. You were always trying to be positive and patient. We may have all failed you by letting you take on too much instead of lifting some of the burdens of everything that happened to your family."

"Y'all were extremely supportive. Everybody took really good care of me and mine," she said. "What I feel about her isn't because of what happened to my family. Not just. She was right. I know that she was right because when she said it, it was like my own voice had said it and since it was outside of my body this time, I could actually reach out and touch it." Joe got up and went to the other side of the desk. "You loved her for so long. No matter what. On the other hand, I had to be flawless. Perfect. Wholesome. Untouched. Untainted… I still couldn't get you to even notice that I was alive and a woman and into you, until you were over her."

"Stacie, I forgot that you were a child in the sense that you needed nurturing and nourishment that we thought you had because you seemed well. But, I also hadn't looked at you this way not because of Quinn, but because in addition to you being six years younger than me… I rarely look at anyone that way. When I signed on to a life of abnegation at puberty; I wanted to be Christlike. I wanted to be a person who people knew loved them and cared about them. As I got older, I wanted them to know that I didn't have ulterior motives behind my acts of kindness. I made vows to God and to myself not to be distracted by appearances and romances. I was sure to only see people as people that I could help or befriend, so that I wouldn't give off some other vibes. I eventually vowed to remain abstinent and focus solely on ministry, however it came into my path. You didn't have to do anything to get me to notice you. I wasn't interested in noticing people that way. I didn't notice you until I got to know you, as a friend, a fellow Christian, a volunteer, a worker, and a woman. The reason that I asked you out was because I was interested in you, specifically and nobody else. You can't lose me to anybody, because none of that is up to anyone but me, and I am very disciplined. I also am not greedy. If I were to want anyone else, besides you, at this point, I'm not sure what would even be my motivation. I waited nearly 26 years to fall in love with a woman who loves me back, loves me so fully and warmly that I feel blessed to have her and fortunate to have ever met her."

She sniffled and he held out the box of tissues for her to grab a few. "Stacie, you have a huge heart and a high threshold for pain and for forgiveness. I would never try to make you withstand either that you weren't ready for. I don't understand why you're jealous of Quinn, but I can empathize to a certain extent. The most hurtful part isn't that you lost your cool or was mean to her or anything like that. The hurtful part is that I don't know if it's good for you to feel the way that you do. I don't want you carrying anything bad inside of you. Especially not over me."

"My family never taught me how to do this the right way. And now, all of them are in their own relationships and either married, getting married or acting like they're married and I'm still trying to figure out how to even girlfriend and not be like what I just did. I feel bad for that. I should never put my hands on her."

"You don't need anybody to teach you how to have a relationship with me. We already have it and it works. We just need to always be honest with each other and support each other. It's harder than it sounds, but much more simple than people tend to make it out to be." She leaned in to kiss him. "I want to also point out that in a year or so, that slap will be on tv…" Her eyes widened. "I tried to get you into my office before it went too far!" She covered her face and shook her head, "I know. I know. But, God was already watching, so.. Think of it that way to avoid the shame of mankind." She glared at him through her fingers, but was on the verge of laughter.

.

Quinn was at Pieces of Mercy dropping off Mercedes' fall donations when Stacie approached her and cleared her throat, "Quinn?" She called. Quinn spun around and took a step back when she realized who it was, but cautiously, not so much fearfully. "I'm sorry," Stacie said and nodded her head. "For everything. There were a lot of factors that went into what happened with my family and there were a lot of people who had good reason not to trust Sammy and I'm sorry that I put that on you. I guess I needed to put a face on the monster and Schuester just wasn't accessible enough."

Quinn sighed and extended her hand to Stacie. "I'm Lucy Quinn, an old friend of your sister-in-law's. I believe you met the woman that I used to be and when I returned as myself, you couldn't see a difference. Maybe there was no difference. Maybe there is just one broken girl that will continue to break everything around her, like Alice in Wonderland, as she tries to grow. But, she is trying and it is really important to her that she makes peace with her friends' loved ones."

Stacie remembered Sam telling her a similar story of how Quinn reintroduced herself to him at Kurt and Blaine's wedding reception. She accepted the handshake and offered, "Honestly, she seems like an okay person. High strung, but no more than Rachel, I think. Very determined, but no more than Jane. Overprotective of who she cares about like pretty much every single member of my own family…" Quinn let go of her hand and nodded. "I… Joe is going to send you friend requests again." Now, Quinn looked up quickly. "There was a time when he was the only friend that you had in the world. He was in love with you, but if I'm going to believe that he and I can be alright, I am going to have to trust that he can be friends with whomever, even you and it not threaten what we have."

"I'm not interested in Joe that way. I never was. It was very good to have him as a friend, but even though Joe had feelings, I knew that I wasn't the kind of woman that a man like Joe needed. I'm too unbalanced. Too ambitious. Too… well… faithless, at times. He needs somebody who shares his faith as fully as he does, understands his mission in life and supports him on it, and is big enough to admit when she's insecure, but also big enough to admit when she knows she has no reason to be. I've been wanting to tell him how perfect for him you are…"

Stacie teared up, "I'm sorry that I held it up." She moved in for a hug and Quinn flinched and backed away. "I'm sorry. No. Of course not. Someday, though. Maybe…" Stacie rushed off as Quinn tried to catch her breath from the panic she felt when her personal bubble had been entered.

Santana approached, "Hey. You okay?"

Quinn snapped back into reality and told Santana. "Just came with a drop off," she said with a smile that shielded any wrong inside of her from being seen. She had gotten rather skilled at it.

.

Mercedes didn't need her, but she went back to their house, anyway. Sam stirred when she came inside and announced, "It's me."

He approached, oddly in form fitting t-shirts now (as opposed to form fitting turtlenecks) and he gave her a polite crooked smile. "Quinn, I told you… She doesn't need anything right now. You can go enjoy or deal with whatever else you've got."

She looked like she was going to cry, "I… don't have anything else." With the exception of Beth, but she was at school and enjoying it thoroughly. Cooper was gone. Even if Joe sent her a doorway back to him, why would she want it after he just shut her out, and she was not going to interrupt Tina and Mike's post-shooting household… Sam reached out for a hug to her and she timidly went into it.

"You still got us, ok?" She started crying and he rubbed her back. "She's been so glad to have you around again, no matter how difficult she is being about it." He patted her on the shoulder, "If you clean up your face, I'll go and tell her that you're here."

She nodded her head and reached into her purse for her tissues. "Thank you, Sam. Thanks for letting me come back and help out with her. I know that it's hard to be around me sometimes…"

"Nonsense. I haven't had a problem being around you in years." He headed to go announce her to Mercedes, and at the last moment, "Thanks for not responding to my sister with the same right hook that you gave Terri Schuester."

She couldn't help but to laugh at that. "I held back for Mercy."

.

Stacie and Cheri were in Cheri's room, talking and loving on babies when Stevie came in and Stacie held up her finger, "No. Absolutely not. I have custody on Fridays, now."

"Custody… of my kids? My woman?"

"All of the above," Stacie clarified.

Stevie opened his mouth to complain. He had just come in from the cold and wanted to warm up with his cuddle bunny! But, he noted Cheri's expression as she fed two babies with Stacie braiding Cowboy's hair. She had ordained this. "I hope that you can live with yourself for making me have to warm up without snuggles."

"I am unaffected," Stacie said and shooed him out.

They were quiet until he seemed to be gone.

"I'm sorry that I hadn't been there for you," Cheri said. "I take for granted that you do have things that you want to do, as well. Whenever I agreed to the show and signed off, I just presumed that it would be okay to you."

"I think that it is okay. I think I just wanted to be included. You and Stevie are engaged now. You'll be married in a few months. Jake and Stevie were taking up all of the additional hospital room space and between the three of you, everyone had a baby to love on and I was honestly just a third wheel. Y'all have gotten to be close enough where the three of you are so in tuned that it's either a you and Jake moment, a you and Stevie moment or a Jake and Stevie moment. I don't have moments with you anymore, which is a hell of a stretch from going from it used to be you and Jake at school, then me and you at home. I didn't want to say anything, because between the institution scare and the shooting, you were finally doing okay and I wasn't gonna try to complain about anything that made that possible. I felt selfish even thinking about the fact that I felt like I lost my best friend to my brother… Because I wouldn't even know you if it wasn't for him. I just love you so much and after what happened at the community center, I just wanted to rush over and talk to you, but you weren't home for hours. I fell asleep waiting and when I woke up, you were asleep with the babies. Stevie and Jake were asleep in the living room. I felt alone."

"We've all been trying to give you and Joe room. You're busy with so much and we didn't want to be in the way of you two growing."

"It felt like you were outgrowing me." Cheri made a doubtful face. "You were going out and getting married friends - Jane, Mercedes. And Stevie was going out and getting friends too - Jake, Mason. Daddy started dating Jake's mom and even there - where maybe I could adopt a sorta mom…"

"She has been stepmomming it up…"

"Not with me! She and Stevie have so many inside jokes and she comes to take care of you and Mercedes. The three of you have your sex talk or real talk or whatever you call it. She and Jake are still super close. With me… Let me put it this way - she just found out what I was in school for, this week. She said, 'Oh! It's your career path to work with plants? I thought you were just a treehugger. Your mop headed boyfriend is just a hippy though, right?'" Cheri laughed and Stacie couldn't help but join in. "But, seriously…"

"Well, I tell you what, after I get my wedding dress body back and have my Valentines' weekend ceremony, I'ma make sure Stevie pops another baby in here so you'll have a little buddy, too…"

Stacie cackled and nodded her head. "Right, for me and only me, I take it?"

"Stevie's got the sauce. Girl, I told him if this show stuff don't work out that he should go into the sperm biz for the less fortunate in babymaking."

"This is the kind of content that I am not here for," Stacie said.

"Well, it's part of the deal. You asked me for my Fridays. It's Fridays My Way. Anywho… Maybe you could even take part in overseeing my parents' gran time? It'll give you some time to hang out with your dad and Nisha. It might be a good way to get closer with her. I don't know about her - she's really strange about white women. I don't think she dislikes you, I think she's bad at bonding with white women."

Stacie shook her head, "We have a great time when we get together. She's SO funny! Like, Marley is right - she could be a comedienne, funny. And she's very caring and insightful. I just never make dates with her or anything."

"You should! She doesn't have anything to do. She quit her job."

"What? Is… My daddy taking care of her?"

"Uh, yeah. Papa Dwight has been looking for somebody to take care of since you all moved on with your adult lives. He is SO sprung on her. Girl, your daddy will do anything for that woman, and she wasn't even checking for him like that until we kept putting them on blast."

"I've still been able to see Mercedes a good bit, but with the me and Quinn thing, I had to step back a little."

"Okay, I love Miss Fabray and everything, but... so… You SLAPPED her in the face."

"I tried to take off her jaw with my palm," Stacie said.

"I hope so bad that ends up being an Internet meme after the show airs! I'm personally going to use it."

"I'm sure it is going to be a promo whenever they are ready to start showing the series."

"We cannot leave you unattended, apparently…"

"Obviously not."