Chapter 36. "Was it love?"
Since Vixen's leaving, there passed already two days. It was evening, right before the night when it still was bright enough for ordinary dragon to see anything in dense forest. Zheek was walking the forest, hunting. Or rather, he was supposed to be hunting, since he definitely wasn't doing that. The fire breather was only wandering pointlessly across dark woods, not knowing what he expected to find there. He terribly endured black dragoness's leaving, but didn't tell anything anyone. He kept word given to Sable after their duel, even though he wanted to scream, so the whole world would hear him and Vixen would return. Zheek felt creeps all across his body, as there came wave of chilly wind. The nights had been very cold lately, as for summer, of course. Then, there came wave of much warmer air, bringing with itself some song.
"Come here, please. Come, ancient spirits.
Take up my hand and help me." The fire breather stood still. He listened to beautiful, melodious voice with disbelief. He knew it. His heart rate spiked in joy. It was Vixen. He headed quickly to the south, where from he heard it.
"Through the darkness, the fears of night
Bring me the light to guide me." Zheek was already running to her, enjoying another couplet of her beautiful song. His heart was hammering in such a happiness when he realized that he could meet her once more...
"Choices were wrong. I regret all."
"But none my guilt... can be undone." Her voice, seconds earlier so calm, were changing now, filling with more and more sorrow. In the middle of the second verse, Vixen's melody trembled a little in moment when a tear flown down her cheek. Even though Zheek couldn't see her, he knew it. He simply knew it.
"I'm by your side! Deep, in my heart...
I don't want this, so tell me, why?" At first, it sounded like Vixen was convinced about her words, but then, there appeared doubts, which overwhelmed her in the end. The fire breather's heart skipped a beat. He pitied her so much.
"I've lost my way, your voice is silent.
I need you here to remind me." Zheek slowed down, he knew that he was already near to Vixen, but didn't want to scare her. In her voice, there could be heard desperate begging. The black dragoness needed help right now, she could feel the ghosts of past consuming her.
"Show me, please, the way to home.
All that remains, is surrender..." The fire breather stopped in bushes right before small field where was standing Vixen. He watched her with pity, as she sang last, painful and sorrowful note, raising her head to the sky to watch the moons.
"Just tell me, can you forgive?
Bring me peace for that I can live?" Vixen asked sadly. Zheek thought of Sable and his blood boiled. How could that city dragon, city wyvern or whatever he was be so blind to her suffering? He wished that Sable was there, he'd change his mind about her right at that very moment.
"Show me, please, the way to home."The black dragoness begged loudly.
"Let the water flow... Through this broken soul..." Last, silent, gentle melody left her lips, tears fell down her cheeks. Then, Zheek came out the bushes. Vixen startled, as she heard a noise and watched the newcomer. She smiled, as she recognized the fire breather. The little dragoness ran to him quickly and hugged him strongly. Zheek didn't move for several seconds, surprised with such an outrightness. He flushed quickly, his crimson cheeks could be seen even despite red scales. Vixen realized what she had just done and stepped back quickly, thanking in mind that her black scales were hiding her blush quite well. She had no idea that still, Zheek could see those. Their eyes met and Vixen burst out with nervous laugh, turning her sight away, meanwhile.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... I'm just happy to see you here." She explained, not believing in her mind that she was embarrassed because of such a trivial gesture.
"I don't mind." Zheek smiled slightly, embarrassed as well. "I was scared that I wouldn't meet you anymore." He confessed.
"Oh, Sable can try, but won't get rid of me that easily." The black dragoness assured.
"This all what he said about you, about your... knowledge... Was it truth?" The fire breather asked, uncertain, if he should do that. He still couldn't believe that. Vixen hung her head sadly. She could have expected that question.
"My betrayal?" Vixen was thankful for him not having said that, but she decided not to mince her words. "Yes, it's all true. So I appeared to be a vile traitor now, didn't I?" The black dragoness asked shamefully. She didn't look into his eyes, even though she really wished to do so. She felt that she didn't deserve it. Then, she felt warm touch at her chin, as Zheek's paw gently raised his head. Their eyes met. Her, sad and sorrowful, and his, so warm and calming.
"No, you didn't. It was beyond you, you couldn't think rationally." Zheek assured her and dropped her, as he made sure that she wouldn't escape with her sight again.
"I... thank you." Vixen stuttered, confused, unsure what to say. "I'm glad that you came here, even more than I'd be if Sable did." She confessed. At that moment, Zheek realized that her song was supposed to lure there not him, but Sable.
"Will you come back to us?" Zheek asked hopefully. Vixen sighed sadly and shook her head sadly. "Why? Sable would…" The fire breather watched her carefully.
"It's not a good idea." The black dragoness explained. "Besides, this situation is even..." She considered, looking for a right word in her mind. "Convenient, as for me." The fire breather watched her carefully, completely dumbstruck.
"What do you imply?" He asked.
"I have a plan how to get you all out of here." Vixen confessed. Zheek's eyes grew wide.
"You... really..." He stuttered, not believing her. "I thought we were stuck here with all these troops out there..." He noticed.
"Trust me, there are ways." The black dragoness smiled slightly. "So, in two... no, in three days you all will fly straight to Warfang." She ordered.
"But what about wyverns?" Zheek asked with disbelief.
"No need to worry about them, there will be none. I'll lure them to the north making them believe that you've headed there. I'll simply provoke them and escape far away." The black dragoness explained.
"And what if they catch you?" The fire breather asked, seriously concerned. Vixen just giggled quietly.
"Catch? Me?" She asked with note of disbelief. "Those wyverns will never catch a wind dragoness. I'm simply too good flier." Vixen assured him, but Zheek still watched her doubtfully.
"Are you sure about it? Last time, they caught you." The fire breather noticed.
"Last time was five years ago, I didn't know them. Now, I do. I know how to make them do exactly what I want them to do." Vixen argued confidently. She sounded like she was absolutely sure that her plan would work out, but Zheek had feeling that she was hiding some secret.
"I'm going with you." He declared. "Together we'll…"
"No, you can't. It's my duty and I'll fill it. Alone." Vixen refused confidently.
"I don't like this idea." The fire breather said with worries. "I don't want to lose you." He confessed.
"You shouldn't worry about me." Vixen assured him. "Listen to the voice of reason. Chance for them to catch me is extremely small. I'm much faster than they can imagine. And besides, this is the only way. If I don't risk a little, you'll never leave that forest." The black dragoness argued, in her voice, there could be felt a note of impatience.
"I'm not sure about it." The free dragon refused, unsure what to say. The black dragoness sighed deeply and smiled slightly with understanding. She was sure that Zheek would have more faith in her plan, but she wasn't really surprised about his reaction. After all, he knew that forest too well not to realize how dangerous it was. The black dragoness opened her jaws, as if she wanted to say something, but wasn't sure what. Then, she started singing.
"Sometimes, you need to be lost just to be found." She sung silently, as she stepped forward to the fire breather, their eyes met for a second, but Vixen turned away quickly with shy move of head. Watching her moving in graceful, melodious way, Zheek couldn't deny her sensuality. He enjoyed the view of gentle moonlight reflecting in her dark scales.
"You need to go to come back around." As the black dragoness stepped right next to Zheek, nuzzling his cheek, her tail wrapped around his neck. But there was nothing violent in that touch, it was gentle, warm. And first of all, suggestive. The fire breather's heart rate spiked suddenly.
"You need to set somebody free, for them to return..." She pulled the fire breather gently, so he turned his head at her, between them, there were only centimeters of cold night air, warmed by their breaths. Their sights met once more, this time for much longer. Zheek looked deeply into her dark green eyes with fascination.
"You live and learn." Vixen finished, smiling slightly, watching him carefully. The fire breather blushed intensively. He didn't realize that lacking any better argument, the black dragoness used her best trump card; femininity. And so, she definitely did succeed.
"Remember, three days and you all go to Warfang. Fine? And no matter what happens, no matter what anyone says, you all go straight there." The black dragoness asked with gentle, sensual voice, absolutely sure about her victory.
"I... I wanted to say that I..." Zheek started stuttering. His heart rate spiked, as he realized that it was perfect moment for him to make his confession. He really wanted to tell her something. Something that wanted to tell for weeks, since their very first meeting. He felt that he was ready, that it was the proper moment. "Vixen, I lo..." He interrupted in half of word, as Vixen gave him, lasting for several seconds which seemed to eternity for them, kiss in his lips. He watched her completely dumbstruck and the dragoness giggled childishly. He couldn't believe that she really did that.
"I don't know what you want to tell me, but not now, please. Once it's all done, you'll tell me everything you want to say, but not now. It's not a proper moment." The black dragoness interrupted him. Zheek watched her somehow sadly, though he knew that he'd tell it her one day.
"Fine." He agreed. The black dragoness smiled, content to hear that. "Just return to us, will you?"
"I will. Goodbye, Keezheekoni." She lied easily, smiling beautifully and watching deeply into his eyes. She nuzzled him with touch, which could hardly be called just friendly.
"Goodbye." The fire breather replied. Before he managed to do anything more, Vixen suddenly took flight, leaving aghast free dragon behind. In just several seconds, she disappeared in dense, dark forest.
For first several seconds, Zheek was standing still, completely aghast. When young dragoness was gone for couple minutes already, he twinkled several times and took deep breath. He could feel his heart hammering madly, as if it would break his ribs and escape his chest any second. "Did it really happen?" He asked himself with disbelief. "She... kissed me." He whispered silently, still shocked. Then, he grinned. "Yes!" The fire breather grinned. He jumped in the air and raised both his paws triumphantly. "I knew it! She loves me!" He shouted, not really caring, if any wyvern would hear him. "She loves me." Zheek was so happy. For last two weeks, his heart was full of apprehensions, but now it all was so crystal clear. Vixen didn't say it aloud, but he knew it. This kiss, her eyes... He could see that in her eyes. She loved him. Zheek just couldn't wait to meet her again, to confess her his feelings. Of course, he was scared about her, but he believed in her. She knew that she hadn't told him everything. She had some unrevealed plan of escaping wyverns. After all, she told him that she'd come back. They were going to meet in Warfang. "Wait, I've never been to Warfang!" He realized it. "What is it like? If Vixen plans to live there, will I accommodate there? I'm sure she'll remain in there, she has friends there. Will I be accepted? And what about Farady?" He asked himself with worries. "Whatever. Why would I care about them, once I have Vixen?" His doubts quickly disappeared. "And Farady will understand me. Who knows, maybe she'll even decide to live in there?" Zheek grinned and headed back to his home. He was walking with jumpy, cheerful step, feeling his heart leap in joy stronger than ever before. Neither coldness nor darkness of night could extinguish his enthusiasm, not even a little.
The black dragoness was flying madly for not less than half an hour already, trying to drown so many thoughts in her mind by intensive, endless effort. But she had to slow down sooner or later and her mind had to start filling with thousands thoughts.
"What was that?" She asked herself with disbelief. "I've... I've kissed him." The dragoness thought, not believing that it was really happening. "I was just playing with him, right? He was so bewitched... But it means nothing." She tried to convince herself. "The only reason that I was so... seductive..." It took her a while to decide to use that word. "It was achieving his support of my plan. Now nothing can stop me. I know that playing with him wasn't fair... Oh, why should I care, Zheek's not brilliant, but he'll quickly realize that I was just playing with him to make him promise. I know that he'll keep the promise, that's the only, only, only, only reason I did it. The only one." She repeated, as if it would change anything. "And he fell on that trick... not because he has some feelings towards me... He's just a young male, controlled by hormones, I could trick every his equal like that..." Then, the black dragoness shook her head with disbelief. "Why am I even explaining that? There are no feelings between us, it's just... Damn it!" She hissed angrily, trying to release her mind from all these thoughts. But it went hardly. In her mind, there appeared comparison heard once from Dante. "The others are standing faster than I'm running." Yes, that described her progress in clearing her mind perfectly. She sighed deeply, trying to calm her heart. "I like Zheek." She started. "He likes me, we're quite close to each other, as for the duration of our relationship, but only because I felt alone after what I've done and Crag's death. And he's really kind, he couldn't watch me suffer." The black dragoness was slowly summing up everything. "He's funny person, good companion, loyal friend, but lover? No." She refused. He's so... childish and young. He's naive, dull..." The black dragoness started enumerating, missing the irony of fact that she blamed someone for being childish when she was the one to behave like that all the time, not he. "And I behaved towards him so sedu... "She stopped her silent monologue for several seconds, considering next word. "Like I did, because I knew that he'd fall on that, not because I..." Then, she interrupted it rapidly. "Damn, just cut it out! There's nothing between us, there's nothing that should be explained!" She shouted in her mind. "When did I even start explaining myself again?" She asked herself with disbelief. The black dragoness sighed angrily. Changing subject of her thoughts was harder than she expected. She sped up once again, beating her wings both faster and stronger. Then, in her heart appeared some very disturbing feeling. It was longing.
"Will you forgive me, Sable? I'm not making this same mistake as Syrius, am I? I just hope you will forgive me not returning home. Your home." The dragoness rose her eyes and watched the starry sky with fascination.
"What have I done?" She asked herself with disbelief. "I've brought all the dragons here, perfectly knowing that this would happen... Death will be perfect price of my betrayal." She felt doubts filling her heart. "I don't want to die." She stated. "I really want to live, but... that's the only proper way. Not right towards Sable, but proper." Vixen watched beneath herself. She could see two oaks. She landed and watched them carefully. Those two trees were intertwined characteristically, literally spinning around each other, creating one, great tree. She knew that place, she had spent long time under those two oaks. Then in her mind appeared vision of that same forest many years ago.
Fourteen years earlier
A little being was laying on her back under two intertwined oaks. Her name was S... No, she was Vixen. Little dragoness... Dragoness! She was so proud to be able to call herself like that. She couldn't see her separate, spread wings and front arms since she was covered in thick, almost rectangular, made of leather coating, covering whole her body. But she could feel those. And that was such an amazing feeling! She already saw some of her new scales. Not those tasteless, pale green, harsh scales of wyvern, but beautiful, intensively black at back and red at belly, pleasant in touch dragon scales. And her eyes... Daddy once gave her mirror, so she could see her dark, green deep eyes. She could feel gentle power of wind focused in her lungs. It was so gentle, so warm and yet so powerful. She, six years old being, several months ago, just a little hatchling of wyvern kind, now proudly calling herself dragoness, felt that with her power she could change the world. Once her father would return, they would leave this forest and, together, bend whole the world to their own will. She would bring the wind of change. Because now, she felt the power she had lacked, she was fulfilled. Around her oaks. Her...The little dragoness giggled silently. She had reason to call these her, since she had spent hiding in shadows of those for last months, all the time of mutation, now, practically in the last stage. Her dad planned at first to do that in cave where it would be much safer, but she refused, arguing that it would keep reminding her about her home and parents' death. Anyway, around her, there was small ditch, filled with some strange, green liquid. It had very unpleasant stench, scaring off any predators who could attack her when daddy wasn't around. Thanks for some elixir of his, she couldn't feel it and she thanked ancestors for that, because she could see her father's lips curling in disgust every time he smelled it. It was kind of annoying, since she couldn't smell her dad when he was coming back with the dinner. She couldn't wait for him to return. Oh, she was so impatient! But how could she help it? She loved her dad! He would always stand by her side, look after her, entertain her. Thanks to him, she had forgotten about that Celeste Tribu where she had lost her parents. He could have done that with an elixir of oblivion, since he had one, but he didn't have to use those. All he did was giving her true, honest father's love, exactly this what she needed. The black dragoness... Dragoness, not wyverness, but dragoness! Anyway, she was laying on long, soft grass, watching the clouds. Then, she heard some steps. She jerked her head curiously and saw some shape enclosing. She grinned, as she recognized the newcomer. It was her dad. And who else could that be? The alchemist walked to her, put on the ground hunted deer and poured into ditch some azure elixir, which neutralized that terrible stench of green liquid protecting her. Then, he sat next to her and nuzzled his daughter lovingly. Little black dragoness giggled silently, as she felt his warm cheek against her scales.
"Hi, daughter." Her daddy whispered.
"Hi, dad!" The black dragoness replied. "How was your hunting?" She asked curiously.
"Quite well, but this deer was definitely the stubborn one. I swear, those animals are getting faster and faster." He sighed deeply. "How are you feeling? Does your chest or legs hurt?" Douten watched her with worries.
"No, no, it's fine. An hour ago it still hurt, but now it's fine." She explained. The earth dragon smiled slightly with relief. Wyvern to dragon elixir mutation was complicated and very advanced process, it was easy to commit a mistake. Lack or excess of just one of tens ingredients could appear to be lethal. It was first time for him to do this, so he had to be very careful about his little daughter.
"Can you stand up?" He asked, glaring at her carefully. Only her head was sticking out from thick coverlet. The last stage were scales, so if he wanted to see the effects, she had to simply stand up. The black dragoness sighed deeply and started standing up. Her father helped her, taking off her heavy coverlet and the dragoness felt creeps across her body when the cold wind blew. The alchemist smiled slightly seeing her scales erecting. Douten estimated her carefully. She looked quite well, only wyvern scales that remained were covering some parts of her tail and hinder legs, changing it would take him about week more, as he guessed. Then, he'd use last elixir for her lungs, so she could use wind without any danger and it would be done.
"How is it, dad?" Vixen asked. She spread her wings majestically and watched them with fascination.
"Hey, hey, carefully about those! You may strain them." Douten admonished her quickly, seriously concerned about her. The youngster put her wings down and watched deeply into her father's eyes, so lovingly scared about her. She hung her head sadly with disappointment.
"When will I fly?" The little dragoness asked curiously.
"Not yet. You need to wait until your wing bones harden. You'll have to spend a little time more on the ground. But not much, just one month." The alchemist promised. Vixen sighed sadly. "Sweety, if you tried flying right now, your wings could break, I could not catch you, something bad would happen to you." He started explaining and then, he kissed her cheek lovingly. Vixen somehow accepted that compensation.
"I'll set fire." Her father decided, once he saw that his daughter was content already. He turned around and went to their bonfire where were laying only several almost completely burnt branches, fuming gently. Douten took some dry sticks, put them and dry grass around them. Next, he took branch of some birch-tree, peeled off with talons its bark and put it on the sticks. Later, he covered it with several thicker branches. Once he was satisfied with the pile of wood, he took his old, worn flint, picked some birch bark and set it on fire. It was very easy to set on fire this characteristic, white bark with just several sparkles, so he quickly made bonfire burn. He breathed strongly so fire flared up even more intensively. Vixen, seeing her dad working, really wanted to help him. The black dragoness stepped silently behind her father, so he didn't even notice that she was there. She took deep breath and focused power of wind. She really wanted to show her father how good she was about her element already. Then, she opened jaws and released strong blow of wind. Or at least, she meant to do so, since she only coughed up great amount of blood and felt her head spinning. Douten turned around at her and saw her falling on the grass, desperately trying to take a breath.
"Vixen!" The little dragoness heard her father's shout, right after she hit ground with her head hardly. Vixen felt that her eyes were getting heavier and heavier, as she was watching her father running to his bag with elixirs and medicines. She tried to take a breath, but she could not. Every try ended up with only terrible, burning pain in her chest and this terrible feeling, as if someone poured water into her lungs. She couldn't know that it was blood from her own lungs, which couldn't withstand sudden blow of wind. She had no idea that her lungs needed hardening with the elixir, which her father kept for the very end of the mutation. It was true that she had been forbidden to use wind no matter what, but she wanted to impress her father so much that she had completely forgotten about that. Vixen's eyelids, heavy as if they were made of iron, closed slowly, despite Douten's begging shouts.
Vixen felt some pleasant smell. Those were some herbs, it was hard to describe those, since it wasn't just one or two, but composition of several, or rather, knowing her father, at least ten of those. She slowly opened her eyes. It was already dawn. She felt some liquid on her forehead. She raised her paw slowly and touched it. It was transparent. Guessing that it was water, pushed by thirst, she licked it from her finger. Then, she curled her lips in disgust. No, it definitely wasn't water, but some medicine. Then, she watched her chest carefully. It was all covered in wet bandage, most likely soaked with some kind of medicine, it was the source of that herb aroma. Her chest still hurt terribly, but she could at least breath. Then, she heard some silent, irregular snore. She jerked her head curiously. It was her father, trying to rest with shallow, restless sleep. Even though he was having nap, he looked nervous like never before. She tried to stand up, but she squeaked painfully, her chest still wasn't cured. This silent noise was just enough to wake her father up. Douten opened his eyes quickly and jerked his head. His eyes grew wide, as he watched his little daughter, who just giggled in response. Then, he hugged her strongly, tears danced in his eyes and flowed down his cheek.
"Vixen, you're alive." He whispered, so touched that he couldn't stop tears.
"I'm fine, daddy." Vixen assured him, smiling slightly.
"Are... are you alright? Does your chest hurt?" He stuttered, wiping his tear meanwhile. His daughter had no idea how scared about her he had been. Last four days when she remained unconscious, he had spent not eating, almost no drinking, barely sleeping. He was sure that such intensive bleeding of lungs would kill her. He even considered taking her to Teria, to medics, which could reveal all her plans about Vengantimos. He only rejected it because he knew that any dragon city was simply too far away.
"It hurts when I move." Vixen described. "Are you fine, daddy?" She watched her father carefully. Even a little hatchling could notice how miserable his state was.
"I? I'm fine." Douten stared at her, completely dumbstruck. He didn't realize how could Vixen worry about him, not herself. "Vixen, just promise me that you'll never ever more do something that I forbid you." He pleased.
"I'm sorry." Hatchling apologized. "I won't dad. I promise." The little dragoness whispered silently. Then, she felt her father's tear falling on her cheek. It was tear of joy, happiness, relief. Tear of love.
Now
Vixen fell cold tear flowing down her cheek. She touched it gently with talon and watched small drip carefully. She could feel her heart sink lower and lower. "This tear. It was real, wasn't it, dad?" She asked the shadows surrounding her. "You loved me. So many years ago, you truly loved me, dad. What had happened that you changed? Or maybe... Have you even changed? Have I turned from your daughter into just a tool or was it really love?" The black dragoness beaten her wings quickly, speeding up silently. "I have so many questions. There are so many things that you've never told me." She whispered. "I can't wait to see you, dad. We'll meet soon. Wait a week more, maybe even just several days ..." The young dragoness sighed sadly. She raised her head to watch both intensively glowing moons. It was cloudy night, but she could clearly see those. "Are you watching me from above, from your celestial home? When I stand before your door, will you open? Or was I... just a tool?" She whispered. All that replied her, was cold wind.