3:45pm
Booth had left nearly three hours earlier, and though he had called her when he had reached his office, she hadn't heard from him since. She had managed to find time to rest at her desk, as well as make her way to the platform for support for the case, but was finding it increasingly difficult to maintain her focus as time passed. Staring at her computer screen, her brain was processing several things, even as the screen went blank in its screensaver mode. She found herself feeling slightly dizzy as her eyes focused on nothing, and the ringing in her ears seemed to be louder than usual.
"Bren?" Angela said, possibly for the third or fourth time from the doorway, and instead of becoming concerned or frustrated, she remained patient. "Bren, do you want to leave in about ten minutes?" She asked, as if she had answered.
Brennan's eyes flicked to her friend, the clouds that had been raging in them a moment before seemed to lift slightly, though she still stared at Angela as if she hadn't heard her.
"Ten minutes." Angela said. "We'll go."
"Okay." She said, almost as if she was in a trance. She seemed to almost literally shake herself out of it as she released a slow breath. "Thank you, Angela." She said, sliding a slight smile on her lips.
"No problem." Angela said, giving her friend a friendly smile as she turned and walked out of the office toward her own.
After about ten minutes, Angela looked up from her own desk, noticing the shadow of someone just outside her door. Another moment or two, and Brennan shuffled in, her bag on her shoulder as she gave Angela a weak smile. "Leaving now is a good idea." She admitted. "I think I am going to need to sleep before dinner."
"That's no problem at all." Angela said, shuffling some papers around as she typed a few more things into her computer. "I have a good book that I'm in the middle of." She smiled, holding up a hardcover book from beside her keyboard, she could see Brennan seem to relax. "I can just sit back and relax on your couch in the peace and quiet." She smiled. "Just let me finish this up, and we can get going."
Brennan nodded, glancing toward her own office for a moment, she turned her attention back to Angela just as she stood up and shouldered her bag. "Alright." Angela said as she stepped toward Brennan quickly, taking her arm in hers, she grinned. "Let's blow this popsicle stand." She said.
"I don't know what that means." Brennan mumbled, her brow furrowing as she looked to her friend.
"That's okay, sweetie. It's not important." She said, as she led her friend toward the doors of the lab.
They stepped up to the elevator, and Angela took the initiative, hitting the button before Brennan even had a chance to react. She could see that her friend was standing there, almost floating in her own thoughts, her focus on nothing. It was strange to see this woman, who was usually full of thoughtful conversation and banter, even if it's inappropriate standing there completely devoid of any fire or random thoughts. "Hey, sweetie. You feeling okay?" Angela asked, watching as Brennan looked into her eyes, her eyes almost translucent as she nodded slightly.
"Yeah." She said softly. "Yeah, I'm okay." She said, her brow furrowing slightly as the elevator doors opened.
"You gonna be okay with the elevator?" Angela asked.
"Huh?" She asked, glancing to the opened doors. "Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I should be okay." She said, stepping forward, she dragged one of her feet slightly as she got into the space. "I'm sorry that I'm a little out of it. I'm thinking about the case, and some other things, you know?" She said, watching her friend nod her head.
"Probably thinking of your date." Angela said with a smirk as she stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the parking garage. "I wonder what little tucked away place he'll take you to. Probably a cute dimly lit Italian place with dancing and good food." Angela chuckled as she looked up at the numbers on the panel as they made their way to the correct floor.
Like a flash from a nightmare, Brennan remembered the club. Dancing with Booth. She could feel panic rising in her chest. She closed her eyes tightly. She could see the lights, feel the music, feel the way his arms felt when she touched them, moving against her, she could smell his cologne, hear his voice in her ear. She could hear her own voice telling him to get out, telling him to take Hannah and leave. She could feel the tight hold he had on her arm as he danced with her for a moment, moving against her rhythmically as the music thumped in their ears.
"Bren?" Angela said, noticing that her friend was breathing heavily, trembling as she stood beside her with her eyes squeezed shut. "Brennan, look at me!" Angela exclaimed. "Bren, come on!" Angela exclaimed, her voice full of panic when her friend stumbled backwards slightly. "Brennan, look at me now!" Angela shouted, shaking her by the shoulders, suddenly Brennan's eyes opened wide and she was staring directly into Angela's eyes. At the same time, the elevator door opened, and Angela grabbed her by the arm and yanked her out of the elevator.
She stumbled slightly, pulled from her panic attack by the sharp pull of her friend's arm. Angela grabbed her face. "Angela." She mumbled, moving her head to make Angela let go of her.
"What the hell just happened?" Angela asked, staring her friend in the eyes. "Are you okay?"
Brennan was trembling, her legs suddenly feeling weak beneath her. Her hands were on Angela's arms as she tried to pull her away. "I'm sorry." She whimpered, feeling broken and embarrassed. "I'm sorry." She said again. "We have to go, please."
"Bren, are you okay?" Angela asked again.
"Bring me home." She whimpered. "Please just bring me home."
"I'm calling Booth." Angela said, reaching for her phone in her bag, she instantly had her friend's hand on hers, though she had already pulled the phone out and started dialing.
"No. No, don't call him." Brennan said. "Please, Angela. Please don't call him. I'm okay. I'm okay now." She begged, though the phone was already at Angela's ear.
"Booth." He answered, his voice serious and sharp.
"Booth?" Angela said, watching tears roll down her friend's cheek as she begged her not to tell him about her panic attack, Brennan's head shaking as tears rolled down her face, her head shaking as she begged her silently. "Hey, it's Angela."
"Hey, Ange, what's up?" He asked, sensing the tension in her voice. "Bones okay?"
"Uh, yeah. She's fine. She's fine. She asked me to bring her home a little early so she could get some sleep before your big date. I just wanted to let you know that we wouldn't be at the lab."
"She wanted to go home, or you suggested it?" Booth asked.
"Little of both." Angela said, her voice calming as she wrapped her arm around Brennan, feeling her friend hold her tightly in a hug.
"Tell her I am looking forward to tonight, and to get some rest." Booth said, smiling into the phone.
"Will do. Talk to you later."
"Later." Booth said, as the phone disconnected.
"Okay." Angela said as she pulled the phone from her ear and disengaged from the hug. "Okay, let's get you home now." She said softly, wiping the tears from Brennan's cheeks, watching her eyes.
"Thank you." Brennan whispered. "Thank you."
"Oh, don't thank me. You're going to tell him later what happened here." She said, taking her friend's arm as they started walking toward Angela's car. "Right after you tell me what happened."
Once they were in the car, Angela again didn't wait for Brennan to figure things out. She reached across and grabbed the seatbelt, and quickly secured it around her friend. It was clear that Brennan was in no condition to be doing things on her own. "I think you overdid it today, Sweetie." Angela said softly.
"I… I did… I did not." She stammered, trying to find her train of thought, which had clearly derailed.
"You just had a breakdown in the elevator."
"Panic attack." She said, sucking in her breath, she tried to control her tears. "It was just a panic attack."
"Just a panic attack? I thought you were going to pass out. Was it the elevator?"
"No." She shook her head. "It was nothing." She said, resting her head in her hands, she felt so heavy and tired. "Just take me home, please?"
"Fine." Angela said, her voice holding a sharp bite of irritation. She knew that Brennan was embarrassed, and wanted her to say more, but knew that if she pushed, the conversation would definitely go nowhere.
Brennan sat in the passenger seat, her head hanging as she tried to keep calm. The visions of what she had seen while in the elevator were starting to flash back into her memory again, but instead of giving in to them, she tipped her head back and turned toward Angela as she drove. Angela's eyes were straight ahead, her jaw set, her attention on the road ahead of them. Brennan tipped her head back slightly and watched her friend. "I have… flashbacks." Brennan admitted, watching Angela's eyes meet hers for a split second before she moved her attention back to the road. "I mean… if you want to call them that. I remember things sometimes very vividly. Sometimes I can smell and taste the smoke."
"Sweetie." Angela said, reaching her hand over to her friend, she grasped her hand as she drove.
"I'm sorry." Brennan choked out.
"Stop apologizing. You went through something horrifying. It's understandable that you would have these memories. You had brain surgery, your brain is just trying to reconcile what it went through. It's like the facial recognition program, you know?" Angela said softly. "Sometimes we have bits and pieces, and we have to fill in the rest. That's what your brain is doing right now."
"You are angry with me." Brennan whispered.
"No, not angry. I was worried. I was scared. I didn't know what to do. Do you have these flashes regularly?"
"They are usually triggered by something." Brennan admitted. "Usually they come when I am sleeping." She whispered. "I can't control my dreams."
"Booth knows about them." Angela said, not asking, but just stating that fact.
"Yes. He can sometimes talk me down from them. He was there, so sometimes his voice pulls me out of it… It's hard to reconcile memories sometimes. It's hard to… know reality from memory. My brain may be healing itself, but I don't know if it is putting things back in the right… place? Does that make sense?"
"It makes sense." Angela said, giving her hand a squeeze. "Do you want to tell me what triggered it this time?"
"No." She shook her head. "I prefer to not go through it again. I prefer not to think about it." She whispered, closing her eyes. "I'm sorry." She said again, swallowing hard.
"Bren, you don't have to keep apologizing. You're healing." She said, pulling the car to the front of Brennan's building, she looked toward her friend to see a lost and broken woman, quickly retreating into herself.
"No." She shook her head. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you." She said, staring at her hands. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you how broken I was, that I was going off on my own, taking other assignments. I'm sorry that I put myself in danger." She said, though her tone was so soft, her words so slow, that it was hard to understand what she was trying to say. She could feel panic once again, pulling at her resolve. "I left my family behind." She whispered. "I am ashamed of myself."
"We never went anywhere, Sweetie." Angela said, reaching across to grab Brennan's hand. "We have always been here, and we always will be. You have nothing to be sorry or ashamed about. We're just happy that you're still here with us, that you're still alive. We can talk more later." Angela said softly. "Now let's get you upstairs so that you can get some rest, and get ready for that date with your hot FBI guy." She said, smiling slightly when her friend looked to her and gratefully smiled, a moment of normal before they faced reality.
Angela walked with Brennan to her apartment, her arm tucked in her friend's. Angela could feel the heaviness of her friend, the way she was shuffling her foot, it was a wonder she was making any progress moving forward at all. Angela took Brennan's keys from her and opened the door, and was surprised when there was no protest, or argument of personal independence. They stepped into the apartment, and immediately Angela was struck by the differences within the room.
There were several more pillows on the couch, a blanket draped haphazardly over the back of it. There was a stray striped sock peeking from below the couch, along with a book on the coffee table that she knew wasn't Brennan's, and two mugs on the counter that were waiting to be put in the dishwasher. She noted the color coded pill bottles on the counter, and the random items that had clearly come from Booth's place. She could smell Booth's cologne in the apartment, kind of wafting in the air, mixing with the flowery scent that usually adorned her friend's apartment. "Looks like Booth has made himself at home here." Angela said, catching her friend's side eye as she swore a slight smirk rose on her lips.
"He has been extremely helpful in my recovery. He cooks and makes sure that I take my medication. He helps with my at home therapy, speech and physical therapy." She shrugged.
"Where has he been staying?" Angela asked curiously.
"Up until last night, he had been sleeping on the couch." Brennan said, dropping her bag onto the floor, she shuffled toward the bathroom, she glanced back at her friend.
"And last night?" Angela asked, obviously amused by her friend's situation.
"He slept with me." Brennan said with raised eyebrows and a smirk, she turned and closed the door to the bathroom.
"Wait, wait wait!" Angela exclaimed, walking quickly toward the bathroom door, she could hear her friend's slight laughter. "Brennan, get out here."
"I'm going to the bathroom." She said through the door.
Angela waited several minutes outside of the door, continuing to look around at the apartment. When the bathroom door opened again, Brennan stepped out slowly. Angela snapped her head in her friend's direction and noted the slight smirk on her face. "What do you mean he slept with you?"
"I mean that I told him that it was detrimental for the health of his back to be continually sleeping on the couch. He promised to behave himself, so I invited him into my bedroom. Not a big deal." She shrugged, shuffling toward her room. Angela followed behind, glancing in at the messy bed, she raised her eyebrow at her friend. "I didn't have time to make the bed." She mumbled. "Nothing happened." She said, smirking back at her friend's slight smile.
"Well, I'm going to go sit out on the couch and read." Angela said, watching as Brennan stepped to her dresser to look for something to change into. "I'll get you up at six, if you're not up by then."
"Sounds good." Brennan nodded, watching as her friend turned to leave the room. "Angela?" She said, catching her friend's eye as she stepped out of the room. "Thank you."
"It's no problem, sweetie. Get some sleep." Angela said, quietly closing the door behind her.