A/N: Ahh! We've stopped at a reststop and I'm posting from their shitty wifi!

So in the spirit of Christmas, I've elected to set up a little thing. Basically, for every piece of fan art I receive between now and Christmas, I'll write an extra chapter and post it on Christmas day. Two people have already chipped in (Jinclair, Tweekaddict, you're both beautiful creatures) so there will be three chapters coming out on Christmas day, but you can make it more~!

Haha, I'm sort of shameless. But hey, doesn't that sound like a good trade?

Enjoy.

Tweek felt miserable.

His eyes were downcast at his paper, but they weren't seeing anything. All he could feel was unbearable exhaustion. Even his twitching was subdued, nothing but a slight tremble. He was pretty sure that Craig had noticed that something was wrong, but he doubted the boy knew how to help him at this moment. And anyway, it was thanks to Craig that he was freaking out at all.

Why did he have to protect me? Why did he have to get detention? Why did Mr. Mackey say that he was unhealthy? I don't get it! I can't deal with this! "Ngh-" Shaking, Tweek stared at his pencil, which trembled in his grip. Tightening his fingers, he felt helpless as it only shook harder. He'd already dealt with too much today, he needed a break. Or better yet, he needed Craig to not have detention. Oh, Jesus, I have to lead an army all on my own. What if they don't listen to me? What if I get them all killed? I can't handle it!

As if that wasn't enough, his thermos was empty.

"AUGH! IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" he suddenly screeched, smacking his head on the desk hard enough to see stars. As his cheek and forehead throbbed against the cool surface of the desk, he felt warm fingers tangle in his wild hair, slowly dragging some of the helplessness out of him. Turning his head to the side, Tweek looked up at Craig, who wasn't even looking at him. The boy was focused on his paper as though nothing was wrong. Heck, Tweek wasn't sure if Craig even cared about the whole thing at all.

He said I could do it! That's what one side of his mind kept telling him, insisting it as loudly as possible. But the rest of him kept thinking but what if I fail? Leaning into Craig's hand, which was inexplicably calming, just like everything else about the taller boy, Tweek let out a soft whimper and wished that the end of class would never come. That way, he wouldn't have to face the Elves on his own.

Craig drew his fingers together in Tweek's mane and pulled lightly, tugging on his hair in a much more kind way than Tweek did to himself. Letting the pleasant sensation draw the tension out of his shoulders, Tweek slumped against his desk. Unbidden the memory of Mr. Mackey leaning over his desk with a concerned expression on his face invaded Tweek's mind.

Now Tweek, I-I understand that Craig has been being a big help to you, keeping you calm and such, and I don't want to ignore that, m'kay? But he also has a history of being very violent, and as your counselor, I don't want to see you get caught up in that. What was that even supposed to mean? Tweek still didn't know. His whole brain hurt from thinking about it. Mr. Mackey had seemed so reasonable as he'd said it, but it had been all wrong. Craig wasn't a bad person, he just sometimes got upset. But he wouldn't hurt Tweek, the blond knew that, no matter how scared he could be in any given moment around Craig.

But Mr. Mackey hadn't seen it that way, had he? Tweek, I'm not allowed to share all of his information with you, because that's private, but Craig is dangerous. If you keep hanging out with him, he might take advantage of you, m'kay? It was so stupid! Tweek didn't get it, didn't want to get it. Shivering, Tweek wished he could reach up and grab the hand that Craig had probably forgotten was still in his hair. The Noirette wouldn't take advantage of him, Tweek was pretty sure Craig didn't know how. That was the kind of thing that Cartman did, not Tweek's closest friend.

Why then had Mr. Mackey been so unreasonable about the whole thing? I understand your judgment is clouded, but what's stopping Craig from hurting you someday, m'kay? The two of you have already gotten into one altercation and I don't want any of my students to get hurt. You should try to play with kids who are better for you, m'kay? Tweek hadn't liked that, in fact, the blond had hated it. The Councilor had always seemed so good about these kinds of things, but the fact of the matter was, he didn't know a thing.

Why would Tweek ever be afraid of someone who cared for his Guinea pigs like they were his world and who talked about Outer Space like he could grab it and trap it in a jar for Tweek to hold? Tweek would never be afraid of someone like that, not now, not when he got older and things changed. Craig meant everything to him, Mr. Mackey didn't get it at all. Or maybe he does and you're just being ridiculous… Frustrated, Tweek suddenly jerked upright, running his hands through his hair in an attempt to keep from tearing it out. He didn't want to hear that kind of thing in his head right now!

Suddenly, something poked his back and Tweek leaped about a mile. "ACK! I DIDN'T DO IT!" No one even looked at him. Feeling the same thing poke him, Tweek turned around rapidly to find Butters trying to give him something. Looking down at the piece of paper in the boy's hand, Tweek felt fear race through him. Jesus! I can't pass notes in class! That's so dangerous! But when Butters kept offering it to him, Tweek grabbed it quickly, just so the boy would sit back down properly.

Turning back around, Tweek stared up at Mr. Garrison to make sure that he wasn't looking at him before scrambling to unfold the note. Tweek could feel Craig's curious eyes on him and it made him shiver as he looked at the piece of notebook paper that already had a lot written on it then crossed out. Finding the one thing that was still legible, Tweek squinted at the page.

Hey Tweekers, do you know if Fu Tucker has his costume at school with him?

Able to feel Kenny's eyes on him, Tweek let out a soft, "Oh god…" before gripping his pencil tightly and writing Yeah, he does, at the bottom of the note. Folding it back up, Tweek swiveled in his seat, all but slammed the note back on Butters desk, and then shrieked as he noticed Mr. Garrison looking his way. OH GOD, HE SAW AND NOW HE'S GOING TO SEND ME TO DETENTION AS WELL!

Craig's hand went for Tweek's thermos. When he shook it and found it empty, his hand went instead to Tweek's hair, patting his head lightly, calming him down. As Mr. Garrison returned to his lecture, Tweek looked sideways at Craig, whose eyes were already on him. They were worried, and Tweek hated that he'd made the taller boy worry, but at the same time, he was glad that Craig cared enough to worry. Most people wouldn't have, not when it was Tweek and the blond was such a spaz.

Letting out a soft whimper, Tweek bit his lip hard and forced his breathing to even out. Once Craig turned back to his paper, the blond whipped around just in time to see Butters offering him the note again. Grabbing it, more quietly this time, Tweek quickly unfolded and squinted at the bottom.

Tell him to get dressed in his costume after class. You too. We'll explain later.

Shoving the note over to Craig, Tweek stared down at his paper, twitching. He wasn't sure what Kenny had planned, but he knew it had to be something if he wanted both he and Craig to have their costumes on. Probably something to do with the game. But why would he want Craig to be dressed as well? He's got detention! Did they forget? What's going on!?

Suddenly, the bell rang and Tweek let out a scream. As everyone around them got up and started putting their things away, Tweek looked for Kenny, but the boy was already gone. Looking over at Craig, the blond squeaked and asked, "What was that about!?" Pulling on his hair with one hand, Tweek murmured, "This is so much pressure, w-why does Kenny do things like this?"

"It's Kenny, what do you expect?" Waiting for Tweek to put his things away, Craig grabbed the boy's thermos and stood there silently. Tweek didn't know how he could be so calm about the whole thing when Kenny was being cryptic and not explaining a thing, but the blond tried to copy him by not freaking out about the thing. It was a lot harder than it looked.

Thankfully, Craig was ready to grab Tweek's hand the moment the boy had his stuff together and the pressure of the Noirette's hand around his did calm the blonde's nerves somewhat. Following Craig out of the classroom, Tweek just stuck as close to him as possible as they went through their usual routine of going first to his locker then to Craig's. After they'd both grabbed the bags they had their costumes in, Tweek allowed himself to be pulled by Craig down a different hallway.

"D-do you think they have a plan?" Tweek asked, the moment they were out of the main press of students. Shrugging, Craig blew out a breath as he turned another corner. "I m-mean, would they have told you to put on your costume if they didn't have a plan?" Stumbling along, Tweek stared up at Craig, who seemed to be looking for something.

"Just because McCormick has a plan doesn't mean it's going to be a good one," Craig muttered flatly, before finding the door he was looking for and pushing his way in. When Tweek looked around in confusion, having no idea where they were, the taller boy pulled Tweek against him with an arm around his shoulder.

Suddenly noticing the cluster of teachers all staring at them, Tweek let out a scream that he muffled behind the hand that he slapped over his own mouth. WHAT ARE WE DOING IN THE TEACHER BREAK ROOM!? Tugging insistently on Craig's shirt, an action which the taller boy ignored, Tweek whimpered loudly. Oh god, we're not supposed to be in here! What are we doing in here?!

Staring at the teachers, Craig flipped them all off before walking over to the counter. As all the adults in the room made some sort of protesting sound and Tweek twitched violently and covered his ears in fear, Craig simply put the blonde's thermos on the counter and grabbed for the coffee pot. "Hey!" called Mr. Adler, huffing as he stomped over to them. "Stop screwing around! What do you think you're doing?!"

As Tweek cowered against his side, Craig looked up at the man and calmly answered, "Tweek ran out of coffee," before turning back to his task of emptying the pot into Tweek's thermos. As he dragged the sugar and creamer over, Craig leveled some of each into the silver container while simultaneously ignoring Mr. Adler's protests and claims that they weren't supposed to be in there. Handing the fresh coffee down to Tweek, Craig flipped the man off again and said, "We were just leaving."

"Hey! Did you just flip me off again?!" The man demanded.

"I already have detention," Craig answered flatly before guiding the terrified Tweek out of the room.

"Jesus man, why d-did you do that?!" Tweek demanded, even as he sipped at the coffee that Craig had quickly prepared. It wasn't that bad, he was impressed. Though really, considering how closely the taller boy seemed to pay attention when Tweek made coffee, the blond wasn't surprised. Closing his thermos, Tweek insisted, "Y-you're gonna get in so much –ghn- trouble!"

"You needed more coffee," Craig told Tweek as if this had been obvious and he didn't understand why Tweek was asking questions. I needed coffee?! What kind of answer is that? What if the teachers lock him in detention forever and I never see him again?! When Tweek twitched hard, the Noirette sighed and put a hand in Tweek's hair. "Cartman wouldn't have let you have any of his coffee. I'm just making sure you have some."

Wanting to still be upset but unable to fight the swelling in his chest, Tweek shivered and said, "W-whatever, let's just get changed." Hurrying towards the boy's bathroom, which was blessedly empty, Tweek looked at the clock and let out a strangled sound. "JESUS MAN! YOU HAVE TO GET TO DETENTION!"

"I'll be on time," Craig insisted, quickly stripping out of his clothes without bothering to hide. Noticing a weird, dark purple bruise traveling up Craig's back, Tweek let out a whimper. Oh god, did the sixth-grader give him that? Why didn't I notice? But it looks old. Why does Craig always get hurt?! Pulling on his gray pants, Craig turned around and said, "Come on, get dressed."

Hurrying to comply, Tweek started stripping off his own clothing. His side was still painful, but it hadn't bruised yet, for which he was grateful. His shoulder, however, had angry marks on it from where the sixth-grader had grabbed him. Whimpering, Tweek pulled on his pants and boots, struggling to hook the belt and all its weaponry around his shoulder and waist. Craig was already dressed, the only things he was missing were his gloves and his chinstrap.

"I wish you hadn't gotten detention," Tweek said, waiting patiently as Craig grabbed the bottle of war paint out of Tweek's bag and got to work renewing the stripes on Tweek's body. Closing his eyes obediently, Tweek continued, "I mean, h-he did start it!"

"Mr. Mackey doesn't care," Craig told Tweek flatly, his fingers dragging over Tweek's skin with expert precision. But shouldn't he care that I got hurt? Isn't that his job!? Why is it he only does his job sometimes, why can't he do it all the time? Why are all the adults in this place so useless?! Curling his fingers into fists, Tweek stayed quiet as Craig fixed the stripes on his throat.

Abruptly, there was a return of noise as the door of the bathroom banged open and the sound of Clyde's excited voice filled the room. "TEACUP, THEY'RE LOOKING FOR YOU OUT ON THE PLAYGROUND!" Jesus, who's they!? When Tweek let out a squawk, Clyde changed the subject and asked, "Craig, why aren't you in detention right now? Aren't you going to get in trouble?"

"I'm helping Tweek," Craig explained. Feeing Craig fixing the stripes on his arms, Tweek opened his eyes and looked at the Noirette and his intense level of concentration as he carefully redid the blonde's war paint. "What's going on with the battle?"

"Oh don't worry, it's still going to happen," Clyde informed Craig happily. Looking at the grin on the brunette's face, Tweek let out a yelp. Looking to him, Clyde half-laughed, half cackled. "Come on Tweek, don't you have any faith in us? We're not going to send you out on a losing battle, that would be stupid. No, we've got something much better up our sleeves. Which is good, cause you don't have any." Laughing at his own joke, Clyde insisted, "Seriously though, you don't want to get in any more trouble Craig."

"I know that idiot." The moment Craig straightened, Clyde caught both Tweek and him in an excited hug. "Fuck off Clyde," Craig grumbled, holding the stain above his head so it didn't get anywhere. Tweek just struggled to get away, worried about getting coffee all over Clyde. Oh god, what's going on?! No one is making any sense!

"This is going to be great, you're not going to regret it," Clyde insisted, grabbing Tweek's arm and pulling him out of the bathroom. Before he could be lugged away, Craig grabbed Tweek's thermos and handed it to the blond before he was pulled towards the door. Watching Craig disappear behind him as Clyde all but dragged him away, Tweek twitched hard but resigned himself to going with whatever Clyde had planned. "I'm telling you Teacup, you're going to go down in history for this one. I can't wait!"

Smiling tentatively at the other boy's enthusiasm, Tweek trotted to keep up, as all the while possibilities filled his mind. "But why did Craig have to get dressed? I –grr- s-still don't understand!" Twisting his head around to look at Tweek, Clyde only tugged him along faster. The brunette was always confusing to Tweek, he was used to Craig's silent and calm way of going about things. Clyde was all over the place and eternally excited. Still, I'm glad he's my friend.

"You're going to understand in a moment!" Dragging him outside, Clyde pulled him over to the corner of the playground. Keeping one hand tightly wound around his thermos, Tweek followed the boy as he was finally let go of then pushed into the bushes. OH JESUS, WHAT'S GOING ON!?

When he looked up, however, Tweek's eyes widened when he found the group of soldiers he was supposed to lead today, as well as Cartman and Kenny, who was dressed in his princess regalia. Eyes moving over each of the boys before him, Tweek twitched hard and looked over at Cartman, who had a smug expression on his face. "W-what's going on?!" Tweek squeaked, his eyes wide.

"What kind of question is that Tweekers?" Princess Kenny asked, moving forward and throwing an arm around Tweek's shoulder. "This is the group of people you're going to be leading today." Glancing at them, Tweek squeaked when they all offered some version of a smile. All of them?! But why are they here? We're going to be fighting on the other side of South Park! What do they think they're doing?!

Stepping forward, Cartman leaned on his staff and said, in a slow drawl, "Tweek, loyal warrior of Zaron, we have a major battle today and I will not allow the Elves to cripple us by taking away one of my most talented up and coming soldiers." Grinning, even though on him it looked evil, Cartman finished, "That's why, Tweek, we're going to take him back."

"What are you talking about?!" Tweek yelped, his eyes flicking back and forth between the group of soldiers, Kenny, and Cartman. "Craig's in d-detention! We can't do anything about that, he's going to be there for an hour and the battle is going to start in, like forty-five minutes!" They aren't making any sense, why did Craig have to get dressed? Why are they all looking at me like this?! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!

Just as he was about to let out a scream, Daniel stepped forward, his Jew staff already in his hand. "Don't you get it Tweek?" When Tweek just looked at his fellow fourth-grader and shook his head helplessly, the boy sighed and said, "We're going to break him out."

"Break who out!?" Tweek screeched, shaking his head. "I don't understand!"

"Tweek." Turning to look at Clyde, who was grinning from ear to ear and had shining eyes. "You're going to break Craig out. You and your warriors are going to break Craig out of detention and then you're all going to fight against the Elves together!"

Eyes widening, Tweek started to shake. Throwing Kenny's arm off of him, the blond threw his arms wide and exclaimed, "BUT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT!" Why do they want to do something like that!? He'd never even thought of doing something so stupid but the other kids were all looking at him expectantly as if he were supposed to be excited about this. "We're going to get in so much trouble!"

Putting his hands behind his back, Cartman let out a sigh. "Tweek, when you joined the warriors of Kupa Keep, you joined with the understanding that sometimes, you were going to be asked to do dangerous things. This is no different. They have locked Feldspar in the deepest dungeons, right within the lair of the Ginge scourge, those pale freckled bastards that prowl its corridors. It won't be easy, freeing him, but for the sake of Kupa Keep, you must."

Twitching, Tweek looked at the boys, all of them in turn, struggling to find something to catch onto that would push him forward. As if answering his call, there were the sounds of muffled footsteps from behind him. Turning, Tweek found the familiar mirage of Craig standing there, hands in his pockets, pencil hanging from between his lips.

Come on Tweek, Mental Craig said, picking the pencil from between his lips so he could fix Tweek with a flat, calm expression. Are you going to let them down, or are you going to show me the Tweek that can do anything? Feeling a swell of courage rise from within him at the words, Tweek clenched his hands and turned towards the people watching him, waiting for his decision.

"Warriors!" Tweek announced, drawing his short sword and rising it above his head. In the scant light streaming through the leaves of the trees surrounding them, the blade shone. "Today, we are going to show those adults that they cannot treat us unfairly by taking our Thief!"

As those gathered let out a cheer, Tweek stared at the sky and exclaimed, "Now let's show them what we're made of and rescue Craig!" Looking satisfied, Kenny nodded proudly and Cartman gave him a smug smirk. With a happy cheer, Clyde wrapped his arms around Tweek and this time the blond didn't struggle at all.

Because all he was focused on was the imagined feeling of Craig ruffling his hair and the calm words, Give them hell, my brave Barbarian.

A/N: Well, now you know. Hey, it's entirely canonical, after all, they did say that there had been a first time they rescued Craig from detention.

So, I've got a little question and I'm curious to see who will answer it. What's the one ship that makes you feel weird? It doesn't have to be your notp, but it can be. Any fandom, any ship, I'm simply curious. Personally, the ship that makes me feel weird is Cartman/Kenny, simply because it feels like one of those instances where you have a group of four people and just because you ship two of them, the other two must be together.

Enough of my rambles though XD