"I can't believe you didn't tell me."
She threw her purse down on the couch and turned to face Luke in the entry way of her house. She crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"I didn't think you could handle it." Luke said, just a little bit of edge to his voice.
She turned away to walk into the kitchen. She really didn't want to fight with him right now. She was tired. She just wanted to collapse on the couch and fall asleep. But she threw her keys on the table by the phone, and said, "But just because you don't think I can handle it doesn't mean you can keep information from me."
He followed her into the kitchen. "Lorelai, I was afraid of what you were going to do just telling you the news. Imagine me having lead with the line, 'Your father came by today.'"
She ran her hand through her hair. And she knew she was overreacting. She knew she was just feeling some sort of adrenaline rush from screaming and yelling at her parents. And she knew it wasn't his fault.
"Luke, you can't keep me away from life." She knew that hadn't come out like what she meant, so she tried again, "I mean, I'm never going to be able to heal if I'm being sheltered all the time."
He nodded his head. "I know. I really do." Then he added, "But you have no idea how scary it is to watch you fade into another world inside of your head. I just don't want anything to hurt you."
She grimaced. And then said, "I have no idea how scary?" She tried to keep the sarcasm from her voice. It snarled a bit when she said, "Try living in both worlds."
"You know that's not what I…"
"I know you didn't mean it. And I understand that its hard to watch. But its even harder to experience the world where you have no control over what you're going to see, going to feel, going to remember." She was talking fast. She was just trying to help him understand. "But imagine coming out of that world, and entering a world where someone isn't being open and upfront about what really is happening in this world."
I hope he understands where I'm coming from. "I have to know these things, Luke. I have to know that you'll tell me it was my father that came down to the diner and told about Chris." Luke turned away at the sound of his name. "I have to know that Sooki calls you to ask if it's ok if she calls me with questions about the Inn."
He looked up right away. Like he had been caught. "How did you find…"
She pointed at the phone on his hip, and said, "Really should consider getting a password for your voicemail, mister." He just cringed. She continued. "Hell, even Rory calls you and asks how I'm doing instead of calling and asking me." And she just sent him a pleading look. "You have to let me live, Luke. You can't protect me from everything."
"I know." He said. Then added, "I just don't want you to get hurt anymore than you already are." He sounded so genuine. And so afraid. Afraid she was going to be hurt.
And she lost all little agitation at him. And she reached out to him, and he opened his arms and embraced her in his strong hug.
After a few minutes, she looked up into his eyes, and told him, "Now, you need to go home."
He started to protest. But she just put her finger on his lips to quiet him. The little bit of touch on her finger silenced the both of them. What am I doing?
Then she remembered she had to say something. "I know you have inventory tomorrow."
"I do. But I can stay here with you and leave in the morning."
She just pulled away and playfully shoved him toward the door. "If you wake me up again at 4:30 one more time, I'm going to be even more irritating than normal."
She could sense the reluctance that he had to leaving her here alone. She said, "I promise if I need anything, I'll call you."
And he turned around and made sure she was paying attention when he added, "even if you just have to talk." And she nodded, and sent him on his way.
His truck started up in the driveway. And she listened as it drove off, and she imagined it going around the bend, around the town square, and into the parking spot in front of Luke's.
Once she was sure he was gone, she grabbed the keys to the jeep, her purse, and headed out of the door.