A week before Finals:
"Okay girls, let's go again." Chloe calls out with a smile and the girls reset their performance to go again. The girls run through the set again before taking a break. Aubrey moves over to her girlfriend and kisses her on the cheek.
"Chloe's looking a lot better than last week. Has she seen Beca?" Stacie asks and Aubrey shakes her head. The girls knew the truth about where Beca was and it wasn't where Chloe thought.
"No, Beca told me where she was going to stay but she wants it all to be a surprise so don't say a word and don't mention Beca around Chloe either. It still stings a bit for her. I think she is just trying to keep herself busy with Finals so she doesn't have to think about it." Aubrey comments and Stacie nods her head as she glances at Chloe, as much as Chloe tried to kill her the week before, Stacie did deeply care for the redhead and had done more than enough to earn the trust back of Beca.
"Hey, so how does it feel to be graduating in three weeks?" Stacie asks and Aubrey looks up to the ceiling, smiling.
"It feels amazing. It feels freeing. I uh… I spoke to my Dad yesterday. He is coming to my graduation." Aubrey grins and Stacie's face turns to shock.
"Really! Bree that's amazing. I didn't think he would but it's great that he is." Stacie hugs her girlfriend. The Bellas watching the exchange between the blonde captain and her girlfriend.
"Here we go." Jesse smiles as he places the bowl of popcorn on Beca's lap. Beca smiles as she takes one of the kernels and places it in her mouth, Jesse sitting next to her as he presses play on the movie. Beca groans internally, Jesse knew she hated movie but forced her into watching The Breakfast Club from start to finish. Beca had agreed as a thank you for letting her crash at his dorm.
"So are you going to go see Chloe anytime soon?" Jesse finally asks and Beca shakes her head. Beca had turned up at his place without any explanation. She had told him about everything that had happened the past month and he understood but was mad for not being told sooner.
"Did you guys have a fight? I mean you finally got together right?" Jesse goes on to ask and Beca nods her head.
"We did but we are taking a small break at the moment till I get myself sorted out and back on track. I want to surprise her at Finals next week. Aubrey has been keeping me updated." Beca replies, taking a small handful of popcorn. Jesse nods his head as he leans over and takes a handful of popcorn himself, grabbing a couple of kernels in his thumb and index finger and throwing them at Beca.
"Hey!" Beca's mouth opens agape and Jesse laughs before trying to throw a couple more at the brunette but Beca tips the entire bowl of popcorn over his head. This time his mouth opens agape and Beca laughs.
"Miss Mitchell, I am so sorry to report that your mother died in the accident." The officer known as Officer Jenkins says. Eight year old Beca bursts into tears at the confession. Her head stings from the deep cut above her eyebrow and her arm screaming in pain from the break in her forearm. She was sitting in the back of an ambulance. She looks up and sees her dead mother being lifted onto a gurney, covered in a black tarp. Beca jumps out of the ambulance and runs toward the gurney. "Mom!" She cries out. "Mom, please wake up!" She screams, shaking the corpse. Beca's mother's arm falls out from under the tarp and Beca grabs it immediately and squeezes it as hard as she can. "Mom please!" Beca cries out once more before she feels two sets of hands peel her away from her mother. "MOM!"
"Mom!" Beca cried out, springing to life on Jesse's and Benji's couch, waking up the two guys also asleep in the room.
"Becs, you okay?" Jesse asks, getting out of his bed and making his way over to the couch and squatting in front of Beca lying down on the couch.
"Yeah I'm good just a bad dream." Beca replies as she sits up. Her head placed in her hands and shaking slightly. She agreed with her psychologist to meet him every two days so she didn't feel so alone. Truth is, Chloe never made her feel alone, she wanted to see Chloe more than ever and she was getting better but she wanted to make sure before seeing Chloe again.
"Did you want to talk about it?" Jesse asks and Beca shakes her head before lying back down. Jesse exhales before moving back to his own bed, checking that Benji had already fallen back to sleep. Both the brunettes lying in their positions, staring at the ceiling. Jesse trying to figure out what was going on in Beca's head. Beca trying to figure out how or when she would face Chloe again. She was hoping to surprise the Bellas at the Finals but she figured it wasn't going to happen.
"Beca, how are you feeling today?" Dr Harding asks. Beca sits opposite him, her arms folded over her chest and her eyelids drooping.
"Tired, hating life." Beca murmurs as she tries to wake herself up more by sitting up. Dr Harding watches over his patient closely, it was her fourth session since she had left the hospital and the Acapella Finals were only five days away. Beca still hadn't seen Chloe and it was eating away at her, her depression was rising again to the point that when Aubrey came by, she didn't want to see her and poor Jesse had to tell Aubrey to leave because Beca didn't want to see her. From what Beca heard and Jesse told her, she knew Aubrey was upset and slightly angry but she also understood and hadn't bothered to see her since.
"You said to me on the phone last night that you had a nightmare about your mother. Do you want to talk about that?" Dr Harding asks, trying to get something useful out of Beca, knowing that Beca was starting to slip away again and didn't want to have to put her in a psychiatric hospital. Beca had begged him not to.
"You know Beca, you told me that you would do what you could to fix yourself correct? I need you to talk to me about things that may trigger certain responses in you, like the fact you have only spoken ten words in fifteen minutes. That is a warning sign that your depression is coming back. Have you been taking your medication?" He adds and Beca nods before rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands.
"What do you want me to say? I want to die okay!" Beca snaps, frustrated from the lack of sleep and Dr Harding pushing her to talk when she doesn't want to.
"What about Chloe?" Dr Harding counters quickly and Beca's mind floats to the redhead. She couldn't help but feel her anger and anxiety slip away.
"I'm too dangerous for her." Beca murmurs again, her voice quiet as the truth suddenly floats to the surface as to why she was avoiding Chloe. It wasn't about getting better, it was about protecting her and Dr Harding sighs, realizing that this was the internal battle happening in Beca's mind.
"I know you blame yourself for what happened to you in the past but Beca, it was unfortunate circumstances, it could have happened to anyone and unfortunately it was you and it just created a domino effect which lead you to 5 weeks ago. I did a small amount of research and 92 people on average die from car accidents every day in the US alone. 30,800 people died last year in the US. You see, it can happen to anyone, those other 91 people that died the same day as your mother, they were left without a parent, child, aunt, uncle, cousin… They lost family too. You can't keep telling yourself that whatever higher power that may be, pointed to your mother and said it was her time. I also looked into the accident, you were hit by a drunk driver. It was their fault not yours Beca. It was just an accident, which is why they are tragic." Dr Harding explains and witnesses as Beca's head drops into her hands, obviously trying to fight something in her mind.
"It was my fault because it should have been me that died not her." Beca finally confesses after about five minutes of silence and Dr Harding allows the breakthrough to hit him hard. This is what he wanted, honesty, a true confession and he just got it.
"Why should have it been you? Why is your life less valuable because it's not. Just think, if you had died, you wouldn't have met Chloe. You wouldn't have fallen in love or drove a car or drank till you regretted it the next morning. You wouldn't have had this college experience." Dr Harding asks quietly, putting a hand gently on Beca's knee. Beca lifts her head up and glances into her therapist's eyes.
"You told me about the Bellas and how happy you were, you told me about that time on the bus where you sang Miley Cyrus even though you hate her. It was because you were happy. Look what I want you to do when you get home is write a list of things that make you happy now and keep the list with you always. It can be anything just write it down and if you think of anything else any time than add to it. If you feel down like you do now then pull that list out and remember why you want to stay here, alive." Dr Harding adds and is surprised when Beca leans forward, wrapping her arms around him and crying into his shoulder. He wraps his arms comfortingly around the small, fragile brunette and holds her while she cries.
"You have so much worth still living for Beca. You've had tragedy happen all your life and now you finally have control of your life but you are buried in the past. Dig yourself out the grave you've put yourself in and live your life. Even better, let someone help pull you out." Dr Harding whispers into Beca's ear, referring to Chloe and Beca nods her head.
Beca walks back into Jesse's room, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off her chest and she could breathe again. Dr Harding had given her the list assignment and stronger medication. Beca sat down and stared at the piece of paper in front of her. She took her pen as things for her list start flowing to her mind.
Chloe.
Music.
The Bellas.
Jesse.
Aubrey.
She decided to stop as she covered the majority for now but at the bottom, she writes a little message to herself.
You are good enough. You are strong. You are brave. You have control now. Dig yourself out the grave and live.
Beca smiles for the first time in at least a week as she rereads the message to herself.
"I am good enough. I am good enough." She whispers to herself before her mind floats back to a certain redhead that she missed terribly all of a sudden.
"I am good enough for her. I'm not dangerous. I am strong. I have control of my life now. I am good enough for Chloe." Beca says as she stands up, realizing her epiphany. Beca immediately pulls out her phone and dials it.
"Hey Aubrey, yeah it's me. Yes I know I sound happier, I just had an epiphany. I need you and the Bellas to meet me in the rehearsal space, right now without Chloe. Okay, see you then." Beca hangs up the phone and grabs her jacket as she receives a group message which includes all the Bellas except Chloe.
'Meet in rehearsal space, 5 minutes. No Chloe.' The message from Aubrey reads as Beca makes her way out the door.
:O
BECA IS BACK! And she has something planned for a certain redhead!
Next chapter will be the Bellas planning and Chapter 40 will be FINALS then there will be 2 after finals chapters then a small epilogue. Story will finish at 43 chapters.
Thankyou for being so supportive guys, here where this rollercoaster of emotions goes up, up, up! MAJOR BECHLOE SCENES INCOMING FROM CHAPTER 40 ONWARDS.
Please R&R and be sure to check out my new Fanfic: League of Angels.
Thanks Guys