Reyna put her hands on my shoulders, "You're overthinking it."

"That didn't work." My voice squeaked.

"So, a couple million people will be watching you tomorrow. Most of them you won't be able to see." She shrugged.

"If I mess up, I mess up in front of millions of people and it's being recorded. I will never be able to undo what I say tomorrow."

"You have a speech ready?"

"Yeah…kind of. I have an outline for a speech ready."

"Okay, so I want you to look at that outline, and I want you to write some sentences corresponding to the outline on this notepad, okay? Just, write. And then we'll figure out what to keep and what to toss." She spoke in a calm voice, probably mostly amused by the situation, though she was kind and hid it well.

I stared at the hotel stationary, then shook my head, "I can't."

"Alright, then how about we watch a movie?"

I shook my head.

"How about you inundate your senses with music blaring through your headphones while you read or write creatively while I go grab you some hot chocolate and a bunch of regular chocolate?"

I tried to think about it, looking up at her pathetically, "Take 5s?"

"Sure."

"Chocolate milk?"

She nodded, "If you prefer that to hot chocolate, then yes."

I nodded slowly, forcing myself to climb farther up onto the bed before my body became incapable of movement.

"I'll find someone to keep you company." She patted the bed and then left our room.

I opened the laptop and plugged in my headphones.

I queued up my relaxation and stress-relief playlist.

I put my earbuds in my ears.

I dropped my head into my hands, feeling like my head was way too heavy for my body. It was hard to breath. My heart was pounding on my rib cage and trying to break out. My whole body was shaking, especially after I started getting chills. I had pins and needles in my hands and feet. I needed to escape. I needed to run. I couldn't…

"Drink." Will wrapped my hand around a glass of water and helped me put it to my lips.

I took a sip, and that seemed to help with my head feeling so heavy. Or light. I wasn't sure which.

"Now, I need you to either get up, or I need you to completely relax. Take your time." He took the other earbud from my ear.

I did my best to try and relax. I was afraid of getting up. I was starting to feel nauseous.

"What are you feeling right now?"

"C-c-ant br-breathe…"

"It's okay, you're fine." He unplugged the headphones and started playing the music, then started taking my pulse. "Remember the breathing?"

I nodded a bit and started the breathing technique he had made me learn.

"You know, these anxiety attacks…"

"I was…trying not to…freak out…about…the…"

"The event tomorrow." He finished, an understanding look on his face. "It's a big deal, I get it. You're addressing a big group who loved your mom's books. Have you seen the memorial pictures?"

"Some of them." I managed to get out.

"Come on, alright." He took the laptop and typed something in, looking slightly nervous. "There. Scroll through."

I shakily took it back, trying to maintain the breathing he had told me to.

There was post after post, picture after picture. People dressing up as their favorite characters, having reading events, posting pictures and stories about how mom changed their lives.

"Forget what you planned. Speak from the heart. You're good at talking to people. You see what they're posting, how thoughtful they've been, even the news people who have talked about it have been nice." Will pointed out a post.

I glanced at him, "How did you…"

"Travis was looking through them at Northpoint. I looked through with him." Will shrugged, "Your mom's fans are some of the nicest people online, apparently. There was a whole news story about her fans and how a large number of them have changed their lives because of what they read. How they found courage, or started working harder at school or work, how they've all tried to be kinder to everyone they meet. Noticing humanity was one of the biggest things your mother wrote about, and one of the subtlest. She didn't have to point out the nuance of treating everyone more kindly. Of understanding more. Of being less offended by every word said by someone different than you." He sat beside me, looking through the stuff while I continued attempting to calm down.

"There you are…Hey, Cassie, you okay?" Nico walked quicker to the bedside.

Now I felt like a dork. An idiot. Thuroughly embarrassed.

"She had an anxiety attack." Will told his boyfriend with a look.

Nico nodded, then craned his neck to look at the screen. "Having trouble with your speech?"

I nodded.

He shrugged, "It happens." He climbed on and sat on my other side and leaned against me, "I suppose now wouldn't be the time to tell you about Alice."

That worried me, "What about her?"

Will gave Nico a glare, "Nothing to worry her, idiot."

"Sorry, forget I said anything." Nico seemed nervous under the glare of Will.

I shook my head, "Tell me. Now."

"She convinced Chiron to let her and a group of others come to the event." Nico said carefully.

So now I would mess up in front of people I knew.

Fan. Freaking. Tastic.

I shuddered and felt my throat close into a knot.

"Breathe," Will ordered.

Nico squeezed my hand, "I'm sorry."

I managed to gasp in a shallow breath, too quickly.

Will cursed, and went to grab the plastic bag from the ice bucket, "Breathe into this."

I did as he said, mostly because I couldn't think to do anything else. My vision blacked out briefly like it sometimes did when I was slightly dehydrated and I stood up too quickly.

I gasped out a sob. I felt crazy for this. It was a stupid speech, to people who didn't know me. I could say a few meaningless sentences and be done with it. It's not like I was famous myself. I was just the daughter of someone famous. And since when did I care if people I knew heard and saw me give this speech? I was already bringing the group I was traveling with to it. What's a couple more people?

Nico sighed and put an arm around my shoulders, "Please don't cry."

I curled up, trying to control myself, but unable to. This was not what I wanted to be doing. "I hate this."

"I know." Will said softly.

Reyna got back shortly after, and I was still a mess. She seemed sympathetic.

I just felt pathetic.

But I ate my Take 5s and drank my chocolate milk and we ended up watching Inside Out, all of us under the covers and eating popcorn that Will brought.

Nico fell asleep at one point and Will jabbed me in the leg until I woke him up.

Connor came in toward the end, staying until it was over. Then once it was he dragged Will back to their room. "Strict orders, dude. No you two unaccounted for."

Will leaned over me and kissed Nico's cheek, "Night, Nico."

"Night." Nico looked like he was half asleep. He yawned and rested his head on Reyna, "I suppose I should get to my room too."

"One more movie?" Reyna asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, I think so. I wont be able to sleep yet."

"We have Moana or Frozen."

"Moana." I said automatically, "I like frozen, but it's not nearly as good as Tangled or Moana."

"I have no idea what you two are talking about. But, okay." Nico yawned, "As long as I can stay, that is."

"Sounds good." Reyna queued it up.

I curled up and rested my head on Nico's shoulder. Crying more than I meant to.

And falling asleep to a movie for the first time ever.

I woke up because Reyna was shaking Nico awake.

"You should get to your room and start getting ready." She whispered to him.

He murmured unintelligibly, then whispered, "I don't want to wake her."

"I'm awake." I managed to murmur, but I couldn't open my eyes. They were too heavy.

"Sorry," Nico murmured, "Didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine." I shifted off of him, "Go ahead."

Reyna took his place, wrapping her arms around me. "You're going to do great today."

I slowly managed to get my eyes to open, "What time is it?"

"Five-thirty. We have to be on the road in an hour and a half. Nico needed to take a shower and repack his bag." She stroked my hair, "Do you need to take a shower?"

I nodded a bit, but my eyes had shut again.

"Alright, I'll wake you up again in half an hour." Reyna said softly.

"Thanks, Rey." I dropped off again before I could finish saying anything.

AN: Sorry it's late, I've been a volunteer at a fundraiser that ends tonight and I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo. My other stories are on hold for now. Next post we get the speech.