A/N: I tried to get this out as quick as I could seeing as I was a little mean at the end of last chapter. :) Enjoy!
The air in the room feels thick.
Nami feels like she really should not be here right now. This is not something she should be a part of. The two men are looking back at each other with hurt expressions; Sanji's being the worst. Zoro looks almost more apologetic.
How can he do this?
As weird of a relationship as they seem to have, they care so deeply about one another. They work well together; they're almost perfect for each other.
Zoro cannot do this.
But it isn't her place to say anything.
Suddenly Sanji's face twists in rage. "What is wrong with you? What the fuck happened to you?"
Zoro looks back at him in hurt. "You know exactly what happened to me."
"That's not what I mean. I mean this isn't you. You're the most determined motherfucker I've ever met. You don't back down on anything, and look what you're doing. You're running away from this, from yourself. I'll ask you again, what the fuck happened to you?" He steps forward and shoves Zoro in the shoulders.
Zoro takes a step back with a look of slight confusion and stares at Sanji's hands.
"You're being a coward. Man the fuck up. If you are really doing this right now, you're not the man I thought you were." He shoves Zoro again.
"Don't call me a coward."
"It's how you're acting. Coward." He pushes Zoro a bit harder this time.
Zoro finally reacts. He shoves Sanji back twice as hard. "I'm not a fucking coward. I'm trying to do what I think is right."
"Yeah? Well what you think is right apparently is running away from all of your problems. That's what you've always done, you ran away from your old life to come here, you ran away from the organization, you run away from everything you feel and drown it in alcohol. You ran away from your family when-"
Zoro punched Sanji in the nose and Nami heard a crack.
Sanji's hand flies to his face, he pulls it away and looks at the blood smeared across it then up at Zoro who looks overcome by rage.
The blonde lashes out with a hard kick to Zoro's ribs. She can see the pain on Zoro's features when it connects.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Sanji? How fucking low can you get?" He lands another punch, this time to Sanji's stomach. Sanji coughs and returns the blow by sweeping Zoro's legs out from under him. The two fall to the floor; Sanji comes out on top trying to hold down the large green haired man.
"There's obviously something wrong with me if I've been putting up with you for so long."
Zoro manages to find leverage from the floor and flips the two of them over so he has the advantage.
"Yeah? I gave you so many outs; all you had to do was take one. If you really feel like that, why are you fighting so hard against this?"
He pulls his arm back ready to strike, but Sanji moves quicker. He pushes off with his legs and moves out of the way just in time and Zoro's fist connects with the flooring; Nami can almost feel the impact herself. He pulls his hand back and Nami can see blood beginning to spill from his knuckles. If that hit would have met Sanji's face, he might not be moving anymore.
"Because I know you can be better. This isn't you, Zoro. What happened to the cocky asshole who didn't take shit?"
The two quickly get back to their feet and their scuffle turns more dangerous. Nami feels it necessary to move out of the way and she quickly takes cover in the kitchen. She doesn't really know what she should be doing in this situation. She wants to stop them, but she doesn't want to get hit. She shouldn't be here, but now she can't leave, not now that this is happening. She yells for them to stop, but they aren't listening. They're far too concentrated on each other. They look like they really might kill each other, and after hearing what Sanji had to say about Zoro earlier it doesn't seem too far fetched of an idea.
They move around the living area dodging and blocking each other's blows. Zoro corners Sanji against a wall, but he uses the wall to his advantage. He pushes off and uses both feet the land a solid hit to Zoro's chest. Zoro stumbles backwards, but recovers quickly and throws Sanji into his coffee table, which is now lying splintered on the floor with Sanji in the middle. He gets on top of Sanji's prone body and lands a few punches to his face. Sanji throws him off and manages to get him back with a kick to the face that sends Zoro's head back. Nami thought Sanji might have broken his neck it was so hard.
Their hostile banter has ceased due to the force of their blows. They are both breathing heavily and bleeding; yet they continue to fight.
They fight hard and relentlessly. Zoro catches Sanji off guard and manages to pin him to the ground again. Sanji is about to be on the receiving end of a devastating punch to the face. She can see his eyes widen in anticipation. Nami can't watch this any longer. She rushes over to the two men and just as Zoro pulls his arm back she grabs a hold of it.
"ZORO STOP IT!"
He turns slightly to her and with a growl throws her a few feet to the ground with a swing of his arm, dislodging her grip of him. Their eyes connect briefly and he seems to have registered what he had just done. His grip on Sanji's shirt slacks and he looks back down to the blonde, anger still etched into his features. He quickly pushes himself off of Sanji and heads to his bedroom.
Sanji sits up and quickly makes his way over to Nami, checking her over and making sure she isn't hurt.
Nami can hear Zoro rummaging around and he soon appears again with two bags, a backpack and an elongated one that she's seen once or twice before. He treads past Nami and Sanji to the front door without a glance in their direction. Sanji leaps up to start after him.
"Zoro."
He stops momentarily to glare at Sanji. He breaks the contact and reaches down to grab his helmet before turning to the door.
"Zoro, wait." Sanji rests a hand on Zoro's arm.
He harshly pulls his arm out of Sanji's reach. "Don't fucking touch me."
He turns and exits through the front door without another word.
Sanji and Nami stare at the door in a dumb silence. Nami glances towards Sanji whose features are almost blank. She can't read him right now. She figures she could offer up some kind of solace for him. "He'll be back. He always comes back."
"I don't know about that, Nami. This feels different." She can see defeat start to settle onto him. "He's never been this angry at me before. If he didn't want to break up earlier, he definitely does now. And I think he just did."
They sit in silence for a while. Nami is unsure what to say to Sanji at this point, and Sanji seems at a loss for words as well. She catches him poking gently at the bloody mess of his nose.
"You should probably see Chopper about that."
He looks up and seems a bit startled by the sound of her voice. "You're probably right. I'm pretty sure it's broken."
"It looks it. I can take you if you'd like."
"That'd be nice, thank you. Let me clean up a little first."
She is glad that he is allowing her to accompany him to see Chopper. She doesn't really want to leave him alone right now, not after that encounter.
She waits patiently in the living room while Sanji does what he can to remedy his appearance. She tries to ignore the broken furniture and bloodstains that surround her. After a few minutes, Sanji reappears and they head out to see the little doctor to fix Sanji.
Nami knows mending the bones won't do much in way of fixing everything. Sanji is still going to be broken emotionally after this. She wishes there was more that she could do for him than just bringing him to Chopper. Nami wonders if this is the helplessness Sanji was talking about when he said he wishes there was more he could do for Zoro, more than just comforting.
When Chopper sees him, he is frantic.
"Sanji! Oh my god, what happened to you?" His eyes are wide and concerned. Sanji looks as if he is about to brush off the question, but Chopper continues. "Did you get in a fight? Who hit you? Sanji you need to be more careful!"
"I know, Chopper, I know. Can you just fix my nose?" The young doctor nods and looks to Nami before starting on Sanji's face. He does so in silence as Sanji tries his best to not react to the replacement of his facial bones. She can tell it's painful though. His nose begins to bleed again and she is asked to retrieve a towel, which she does immediately.
After telling Sanji what he must do to ensure a proper mend, Chopper begins questioning him again. "Sanji, who broke your nose?"
"It doesn't matter." Nami doesn't blame him for not wanting to talk about this. She's not really all that sure what is going on between Zoro and Sanji, and she is pretty sure Sanji doesn't either.
Chopper seems to pick up the mood and quickly stops his line of questioning.
Sanji doesn't seem all too excited about sticking around, so they say their goodbye's and the blonde promises Chopper that he will be more careful in the future before Nami takes him to his apartment. She doesn't really want to leave him, but she has no excuse to stay, so she watches him slowly exit her car and enter his building with despondent air about him.
-:-
Sanji's nose is healing nicely. Despite all the bruising, it looks almost normal. He replays the encounter over and over in his head, and no matter how many times he thinks about it, he feels completely at fault. He knows he's completely at fault. He should not have said what he did to Zoro.
Why did he say that?
He doesn't believe that. Zoro did not deserve that. He was only doing what he thought was right, and Sanji knows it. He was just so upset with what Zoro was trying to do that he was saying anything to make him want to change his mind. But he definitely picked the wrong words.
It's been three days since he last saw Zoro.
Sanji decided to at least give him some space. He wants to talk to him, to try to rectify what he had done wrong, but he knows Zoro needs some time to cool down if he wants to talk to him.
He picks up his phone and stares are Zoro's contact.
Is three days enough time?
Maybe he should try stopping by his apartment. But then again maybe he shouldn't. He doesn't want another explosive confrontation. Calling him would probably be the safest form of contact right now.
He takes a deep breath and presses the call button. He carefully holds the phone to his ear and waits for the line to connect. The ominous ringing feels like it lasts forever until the voicemail picks up.
Sanji sighs and ends the call. He doesn't want to leave a message. He doesn't really know what he wants to say. He's thought about it endlessly, but he still can't think of anything that will make this right.
At least he knows Zoro's phone is on. It's not lost or forgotten somewhere. If he did leave, and Sanji thinks he may have since he had a bag with him, then he definitely has it with him.
Sanji really hopes he didn't leave. Maybe he just went to blow off some steam at the gym, maybe he's home. Where would he go if he weren't at home? Last time he disappeared he said he was just wandering. If he did repeat the same course of action, Sanji hopes he can find his way home.
Sanji's bed feels too large without Zoro next to him; too empty and cold. He looks to his phone and decides to try to call again, but still no answer.
Maybe he should send him a text?
He pulls up their messages and types in a simple 'can we talk?'. He hesitates over the send button until his thumb presses down unintentionally. Well, can't take it back now. He places his phone on the table next to the bed and tries to ignore it as he does his best to get comfortable so he can fall asleep.
Sleep doesn't come easy though. He can't help but wonder what Zoro is doing, what he is thinking. He really hopes he isn't getting pushed further into loss of control. Sanji was actually very surprised at the amount of control he had over himself in their fight. He may have been attacking with all he had, but he was able to stop himself once Nami interfered. Though if she hadn't, Sanji isn't sure what may have happened to himself. Zoro looked pretty ready to finish him off right there. And there was no sign of remorse afterwards.
Maybe this really is over.
No. He won't let that happen. He needs to talk to Zoro. He needs to set things right with him. He can't just leave like that. It doesn't sit well with Sanji. Usually their fights end amicably, but this was not a usual fight. And he doesn't like the outcome.
If Sanji isn't with Zoro, he isn't sure what Zoro may do. He may further close himself off and be lost in himself. He might cut himself off from everyone he knows. He may not be able to hold back the thoughts that plague him and threaten to consume him. He might do something rash and impulsive, something he will deeply regret later. Something he can't take back.
But, if Sanji is not there, Zoro can also learn to control himself on his own.
He hadn't really thought of that before.
Sanji hates their separation, but maybe Zoro needs this. Maybe he needs to learn to be self sufficient in his mental care. Perhaps Sanji had been selfish by staying with him for so long, and for taking care of him. He was obviously doing it because he loves the man, but was he holding Zoro back? Would Zoro have been better if he had been dealing with all of this without Sanji's interference? If Sanji hadn't been coddling him at every misstep that he took?
Has Sanji been fucking up this entire time?
Sanji groans and pulls a pillow over his face. He doesn't know what to do. He wants to be with Zoro. They need to be together. Neither of them will be happy without the other, he knows that.
But just as Zoro had said, he is bringing Sanji down. Sanji could benefit from some time away, and Zoro could benefit by learning to control his impulses on his own more. He understands the reasoning behind Zoro's proposal of their separation, no matter how much he doesn't want it.
Maybe a few days more won't be so bad.
But only a few days more. Sanji doesn't want to lose what they have.
He just wants to see the man, and see that he is ok, or as ok as the moss ball can be at this point.
The next few days don't go as smoothly as Sanji would have liked. He misses the stupid marimo idiot. A lot. And he hasn't had any contact with him despite the few calls he made to him and the lone text he sent. He's getting really worried that he might never speak to him again.
Or worse, he did something terrible and he can't talk to him for whatever reason.
That thought pops into Sanji's head more than once, and he feels the need to check on him. He wants so badly to just head over to the apartment that he had practically lived in for months, but he knows he shouldn't. If Zoro hasn't contacted him, then he needs to keep his distance. It's getting really hard to do that though.
He's talked to Nami since the incident. She hasn't had much in the way of contact with Zoro either. He's clearly running through his dropping off the face of the earth routine. Sanji hasn't talked to anyone else, though. Not that Zoro had been in contact with anyone else at all before any of this happened, so he knows they probably haven't talked to him either.
Sanji tries to keep himself busy with his restaurant. Which definitely is helping, but everyone keeps looking at him oddly with the mass amounts of bruising on his face.
Brook has tried to get him to open up about what happened to him when he made his way out to the dining area one night while he was working his entertainment shift, but Sanji refused to say a word about it. He's also tried to get information about Zoro, since he hasn't spoken to him since he last saw him months ago, but Sanji had to regretfully tell him he's not sure what he's doing since they aren't seeing each other right now.
Brook was overly shocked. He had thought the two were getting along wonderfully. They always seemed so happy together. Sanji's only response was something along the lines of 'things happen'. He doesn't remember the conversation all too clearly since he did not want to be having it and was doing all he could to think of some excuse to return to the kitchen.
He felt very much in the way in his own kitchen. Since he hadn't been around often for so long, everyone has more or less everything under control without his guidance or skills. He is able to take over a few orders, but he is for the most part unneeded.
Not something he wants to be feeling here as well. He feels that enough when he thinks about Zoro.
Nami keeps telling him he should come see everyone. He and Zoro have missed so much; he might as well rejoin the group even if Zoro is still missing, but Sanji hesitant to do so. He doesn't want to explain his and Zoro's falling out. He doesn't want to have to tell them all what happened or why it happened. Nami already had a pretty unfavorable reaction to Zoro's whole story; he's not sure how everyone else would take it or how Zoro would feel if he were to just reveal it to everyone. Though he's sure more than a few of them are aware of their probable split since he had mentioned something to Brook.
Sanji really wishes he could just talk to the moss ball. He decides to send him one more message. Texts get through to him better, he doesn't like to speak on the phone all that much.
He's hoping Zoro will say something. Anything, even if it's just to tell him to fuck off. He just wants to know the man is all right.
He sits down on his couch, his almost never used couch since he had practically moved into Zoro's. He picks up his phone and opens up Zoro's thread, his last message being unanswered.
He thinks hard about what he could say to him.
He eventually settles on repeating himself.
Can we please talk?
He sets his phone down while he gets up to pour himself a glass of wine. He pours more than was necessary because as soon as he began to fill his glass he hears his phone go off and he nearly dumped out the rest of the bottle.
He quickly heads back to his phone with his overly full glass. He eagerly checks his phone and is not disappointed.
A short message from Zoro is displayed on the screen.
Can't now
Relief floods his system; he made contact. But he still feels unsettled. The marimo can't talk right now. He's not sure what that should mean.
Can you at least tell me if you're ok?
That he can at least answer simply if he can't talk. Sanji can't stop wondering why he can't. What is he doing that won't allow him to text him back?
He waits impatiently for a reply. He sips his wine greedily in anticipation while he watches for his phone to light up with a response.
I don't know
I don't know. What does that mean? He doesn't know if he can tell him, or he doesn't know he's ok? Why is his boyfriend, or ex, or whatever Zoro is right now the worst communicator on the face of the earth? He knows that will be all the explanation he will get from him, so he decides to ask a final question.
Where are you?
This message takes a considerably longer amount of time to receive a reply. Sanji has nearly finished his drink by the time is comes through. Though it could have been a lot shorter of a time period than he had thought. He may have been nearly chugging his glass.
Not where I should be
Again, not much to go on. That could mean many different things; not where he should be because he's not with Sanji, or not where he should be because he's lost, or is he somewhere he actually should not be?
Almost immediately he gets another message from the marimo.
Really can't talk now, but soon
Sanji is caught between the excitement for the promise of speaking with Zoro and the slight troubled feel he gets from Zoro's odd clipped messages.