A/N: Alright, I'm seriously not 100 happy with this chapter, but it works. It's…well, not as well written as the rest of it but I think I drained all my writing juices when I wrote to Chapter 9 last night of Into The Woods – my original book I'm cowriting and want to get published. But that's ok. Those chapters need to be amazing and…well…this I'm just trying to finish before I completely give up on fanfiction. After this chapter, I have two chapters and an epilogue so we're almost done! I think I'll probably regret later posting this chapter as is, but honestly, I'm to the point I just want to be done with it and devoting full energies editing/reviewing/writing to Into the Woods. I guess everyone's got their priorities. I hope this chapter isn't that much of a disappointment! More to come!

Chapter 34

A soft groan escaped my lips as my eyes blinked open. It took a few minutes for my vision to get rid of the fuzzy edges and I found myself staring into Tommy's relieved eyes.

"Hey, you're awake," He said, stroking the top of my hair. Not recognizing my surroundings, I was about to ask him where we were and what was going on when it all seeped back to the front of my thoughts. Seizure. Hospital. Jessica/Monica. Tommy. Sadie. Bri…

"Why did you let me sleep?!" I demanded, jerking upright and scrambling out of the hospital bed. Tommy reached out and grabbed my arm and I whirled around to face him. "I need to, I need"

"Jude." He said, his voice calm and I had a fleeting thought of hating him. Why wasn't he worried about Briana? "Honey, I know how you feel, but what are we going to do? The police have her picture all over the news, they're looking into Jessica and other possible explanation…"

"Tommy, I need to do something," I said, closing my eyes, tears stinging them. "I can't sit back when Bri could be"

"Jude, breath." He told me and I realized I was nearly hysterical. My lungs burned as I took a breath and I wondered if I had even been breathing since I woke up. I did as he told me and took a couple deep breathes. I didn't feel nearly as better but I found I could relax a little. Barely. My mind was racing, trying to think of anything that could help my little girl.

"Dr. Franchi was by earlier." Tommy told me. "When you were out," and I looked up at him, another worry coming to the front of my mind. "He pretty much said I'd be ok and recommended stopping the drug treatment." He told me with a sigh. He frowned when he studied my eyes.

"What?"

"What's going on, Jude?" He asked me, watching my eyes. "you've been…stressed."

"I'm fine." I answered automatically, feeling anything but.

"No, you're not." He told me, and tugged me closer to the bed and I reluctantly came, sitting down on the edge. He sat up a bit and his critical eyes appraised me. "What's going on in that brilliant head of yours?"

"Hardly brilliant," I muttered, but found myself enjoying the compliment. "I just…there's a lot going on," I muttered and sighed. "I'll feel better when I find Bri."

"You keep saying 'I'." Tommy pointed out, frowning. I started to correct him when I realized he was right. "Why?"

"Because, you just…you had a seizure and"

"Jude," He said, shaking his head at me like I just said something stupid. "Do you really think I'm gonna sit here and let you go running all over the place and getting yourself killed?"

"But"

"I already talked to Dr. Franchi. He didn't like it, but he's going to release me in less than a hour."

"What time is it?"

"9 am."

"Shit." I breathed out, closing my eyes. I had slept through the night and lord knew what was going on with my daughter. Some mother I am. I scolded myself. "Should you really be leaving?"

"Probably not but I wouldn't take no for an answer." He said with a shrug. "I also decided…" He paused, as if considering his next words.

"Decided what?" I asked, felling dread wash over me.

"I don't know if this is the right time," He told me, giving me a small smile.

"Tell me." I demanded. "I don't know how much more crap I can take."

"I decided that it's not worth remembering if I don't survive long enough to enjoy it," He summed, looking into my eyes. "with you." He finished. "I…I think I still love you, Jude. And I don't want to mess that up again."

Tears sprang to my eyes and I momentarily was able to forget that Briana was missing and Jessica was really Monica who had been stalking Tommy for lord only knew how long. Tommy still loves me. I felt like my heart was now whole and then felt terrible that I could find some happiness in this dark time.

"I…I was rushing home from Kat to tell you the same thing…" I stammered, sniffling slightly. "I love you too," I said and Tommy smiled at me and I suddenly felt like things just might turn out ok.

Tommy reached down and took my hand in mine, intertwining our fingers and gave it a squeeze.

"Now, what else is bothering you?" He asked and I found myself pouring out the story of the police chief coming to see me and the story of Jessica and her real name being Monica. Tommy listened, frowning slightly as I told him what I felt, how I couldn't understand why he hadn't trusted me enough to tell me what was going on. When I finally finished, he stroked my hair and told me how he couldn't give me any answers but he didn't think it was about not trusting as it was about protecting me. We made an agreement that we'd trust each other to know we didn't need protecting. That we'd be open with everything and anything so no more surprises came our way.

After the talk, I felt a little better about everything going on. My only concern was finding Briana and suddenly, I felt like I could do it. That we could do it.

Before long, the doctors came back, lectured Tommy on how he shouldn't be leaving so soon that they wanted more tests. They came to an agreement that he would come back and do them once things settled back down. We were lectured on how he should relax and take it easy but everyone in the room knew it probably wouldn't happen. Before long, we were signing against medical advise forms and were on our way back home.

I was more than thankful that when we arrived home, the news cameras had either already came and left or hadn't arrived yet. We hurried into the house and I checked to see if there were any messages. There weren't any.

Tommy and I sat down at the table and went over everything he knew about Jessica. We figured she wouldn't be dumb enough to be at the same place Tommy knew she'd be living and he wrecked his brain to come up with any relatives. He remembered her briefly talking about a cousin who lived in the area but didn't remember the name or where the house was. It was leaving us both frustrated as we both scrambled for places to look, people to call. The phone rang a few times, friends and family offering condolences and asking if there was anything they could do. After the first few calls, we let them go to the answering machine or voice mail. There's only so much "I'm so sorry, can we do anything for you" a person could take before it began to drive you crazy.

We were just about to give up when the phone rang once more. Tommy and I looked at each other, both of our gazes filled with annoyance. The answering machine clicked on and I heard my voice telling the person to leave a message. The beep echoed through the house and there was a long pause. I frowned and looked at Tommy but he was watching the phone, as if waiting for it to do something.

"Hi, Jason, It's me" Before the sentence could be finished, Tommy shot out of his chair and had the phone in his hand. My eyes widened and I moved to stand closer to him, my heart pounding and my mind racing. Please let Briana be ok…

"Jessica-" Tommy barely got her name out before she cut him off.

"We need to talk." Jessica stated, her voice sounding crazier than usual. I shivered. I could feel tears stinging my eyes and I continued to pray that Briana was ok. That Jessica wouldn't harm an innocent little girl.

"We're not talking. Not until you let me bring Briana home."

"I can do better," Jessica said, laughing as she said the words. "I keep Briana. You come to us, Love." She whispered, her voice getting lower, crazier. "We can be a family again."

"Jessica, I"

"We were happy!" She shrieked and Tommy winced. My eyes widened and I stared at him, not sure what to do. "You come to me, or you'll never see your little girl again. OK?" She asked, her voice becoming sweet, almost innocent sounding if she could lose the hint of crazy behind it.

"You'll have to tell me where you are." Tommy stated and I gaped at him. Tommy closed his eyes and nodded as Jessica told him. "I'll be there." He told her and she said something else I couldn't hear and Tommy made an affirmative noise before hanging up.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I demanded. "You can't go to her, she's fucking crazy!"

"Jude, I have to"

"No, we're calling the police. They'll"

"Jude, she said she'd kill Briana if we involved the police." He stated and I felt my whole body go numb with that statement. "Jude, I have to go. OK?" He told me, wrapping his arms around me and I couldn't move. I couldn't take comfort in the embrace. I was going to lose my baby and my husband. I… "It's going to be ok." He whispered and I shook my head, unable to say anything. "I promise."

"You can't promise that."

"I can." He told me and for a moment, I almost believed he could. "I have to go." He told me and started towards the door. I took a deep breath.

"Wait." I said, my voice cracking slightly. He stopped and turned around to look at me. "I know…I won't call the police but Tommy, please tell me where you're going because if I don't hear from you….I don't want to wonder the rest of my life…" A lump gathered in my throat and tears blurred my vision. I couldn't continue with losing it and Tommy must have saw it because he nodded and crossed back to the kitchen and wrote an address down on a piece of paper and handed it to me.

"Don't come after me," Tommy whispered, to me. "Promise me."

"I…I won't." I said, knowing I probably couldn't keep that promise. Tommy kissed the top of my head and pulled away.

"You going to be ok?" He asked and I nodded my head. "I could call Sadie or Kat or"

"I'll be fine." I told him, working to keep myself under control. He nodded, looking a bit skeptical and walked out the door. I closed my eyes, tears falling down my face. This is it, I thought. This is when I lose everything.