Guys, first of all I'm so touched by all the reviews! They really motivated me to get a chapter out. Did I plan to get this out at Christmas? Yes. But procrastination. Now 15 min before new years I'm rushing to type this. I'll do some editing after. So lets keep it brief, just like how short this chapter is... real sorry everyone. Happy New Year! Thank you for all the support!

Chapter thirty eight

Words to say

"Cheers to us all getting scouted for the international competition!" Kise shouted.

"Cheers!" everyone echoes as the sound of clinking glasses filled the diner.

Everyone dug into the food, some with more enthusiasm than others. Akashi had been appointed the honour of paying the tab and the team had no mercy on his wallet. It was as though the table had been turned into a food competition with Kagami, Murasakibara and Aomine currently tied for first as they downed plate after plate of food. Surprisingly Asuka wasn't joining their frantic eating.

"I must admit, the manners never fail to surprise my extremely low expectations. It is quite the phenomenon." Midorima noted disdainfully.

"Aww you know you love the energy," Asuka teased playfully.

Midorima pushed up his glasses with his thumb and forefinger and turned his nose up. Asuka couldn't help the giggle that escaped her at the image.

"I'm so happy but so sad! You guys are all going to America, and that's amazing! But I'll be left here alone!" Momoi sniffed emotionally.

Asuka patted her back supportively with a grin.

"Hey, you can come visit! It'll be in the university break after all." Asuka informed.

"You're right! I can start saving money now. It's so strange to think we'll be graduating high school next year. I don't even know what I want to do in the future." Momoi confessed.

Asuka swirled the ice in her drink and watched them refract the diner lights. She smiled as she watched her friends celebrate.

"Future, it really is strange to think about." Asuka agreed. "I must admit, I haven't thought about it as much as I maybe should."

"You'll be going back to America to graduate AYAI right? It'll be strange with you gone again." Momoi sighed.

Asuka smiled softly. "Hopefully it won't be for long."

She really meant it too. Was it really just a few days ago that leaving forever had been inevitable? Aomine looked up from trying to force Kuroko to eat more beef. They made eye contact for a second in which Aomine gave a half smirk half smile. Asuka felt her heart warm and took a sip from her glass. The basketball chatter and discussions was comforting to Asuka's ears. The simplicity of it, and yet in reality not so simple. They were third year about to graduate into the real world. With prospects of an international competition, they had a chance of really breaking into basketball. Akashi no doubt, would study commerce at a prestigious university and Midorima had mentioned taking a biomedical degree. Murasakibara had mentioned he wanted to try his hand at culinary on the side of training for basketball. It was a time of uncertainty, chaos and excitement. Yet Asuka had never felt more content and safe in her entire life. With no idea what was to come after graduating AYAI and even the uncertainty of the operations success, Asuka came to accept that she was happy.

The finished collection of art was displayed unashamedly across the tables. In front of the entire art class, Asuka waited nervously for the critique. Some wore their astonishment plainly of their faces while others attempted to remain neutral. Hisakawa sensei regarded the art thoughtfully, his expression set in his default scowl without letting any of his thoughts to be seen. Then, as though a cloud had passed to let the sun through, the smallest smile graced his lips.

"You played art." Hisakawa said softly, as though raising his voice anymore would disturbed some resting spirit.

"Thank you." Askua bowed.

She raised her head and looked over the fruits of her labour. Not a single painting was the same as it had been when she'd first declared it finished. Each had undergone drastic revision ro form what could only be seen as darker and more melancholic in tone. No longer were the bright colours a mask over the pain they hid. They embraced the sorrow, the torture Asuka had truly been feeling. Yet no stroke was overplayed, and no painting too dramatic. Between the falling stars, the hands clawing at skin, the flocking crows and broken reflections, it was all just-

"Beautiful."

Asuka turned to Kikuta in surprise. The girl gave a nonchalant shrug and waved a hand at the paintings.

"Your paintings are really beautiful Izumi san. I really didn't want to admit it before, but I see how stupid I was. Yo"

Asuka could only conjure a witless "thanks" as she exchanges a dumbfounded look with Saeki. She was the only one shocked by the other girl's compliment. Saeki was fidgeting nervously, as though she sensed an imbalance in the world. The signature scowl had been wiped from Hisakawa's face, replaced by an open blankness that took of a decade from the old man's age. Kikuta rolled her eyes at the reaction.

"Really, you all had so little faith in me? I'm being sincere." Kikuta drawled.

The class was dismissed at the ring of the bell and everyone excitedly left in a wave. Summer vacation was about to begin with the end of July. As Kikuta left, Asuka hurried after her.

"Hey Kikuta san, thank you for what you said." Asuka said with a bright smile.

Kikuta returned the smile. "After accepting Aomine is yours, my sights been cleared. Honestly, I'm not sure if I even liked the brooder or if his status was just appealing."

"My Aomine? That's not-" Asuka began to deny.

"My bad. You don't get a warm feeling in your heart when you think about him do you? And you definitely don't care about him in a way different than friends and family? Of course, you certainly wouldn't want to spend time alone with him and without your other friends!" Kikuta exclaimed with exaggerated sarcasm.

"Well," Asuka contemplated, "I own him so much. Me being here is thanks to him. Aomine inspired me to play basketball and he's always supported my art even though he doesn't understand it. I'm thankful and appreciative. I want him to be happy."

A sly smile appeared on Kikuta'd face.

"Izumi san, admitting feelings for someone else is also admitting your own capability of attachment. Are you afraid of attachment?"

Asuka offered a weak smile. "Maybe so."

It was the night before the first operation that the fear kicked in. Asuka couldn't stay in the house, couldn't stand to have her father smiling at her. This was it. The final road to trek that would either lead to the meadow of her future or a dead end. Feeling trapped and suffocated, Asuka told her father she was going to hangout with Aomine now that vacation had began.

"Good luck." Hyōsuke waved.

Asuka grabbed her basketball gear that wouldn't be put to use. She wasn't lying about the company though. As she walked to the small convenience stall the team had so often visited in their Teikō day, Asuka sent Aomine a text. Can we get some popsicles?

It was a partially humid day, even for the start of August. Asuka closed her eyes as she leaned against the wall of the convenience stall. The heat curled unpleasantly against her skin as beads of sweat wet her forehead. The sickening heat combined with her anxiety made Asuka's head strain like a balloon being compressed and about to explode. Dare she hope the surgery work? Was it too much of a dream to become reality? Her father still didn't know, nor did her friends. Perhaps they'd even curse her for being so deceitful. It would be easier to get over her death if she was hated anyway. Better they not care. Something cool touched Asuka's head and she came back to full awareness as if woken from a trace. Only then did she notice her erratic breathing and the nails digging into her palms. A sea of rich blue held her gaze, comforting and strong.

"You're gonna have a heat stroke." Aomine reprimanded, handing over the popsicle.

"Thanks." Asuka mumbled.
She followed Aomine to a seat under some shade and started on her popsicle. Aomine didn't say anything, just ate his popsicle in companionable silence. No words were exchanged until both had finished their popsicles.

"I really scared Aomine." Asuka confessed.

No roundabout riddles or excuses. At this point, there was nothing left to say to Aomine but the plain truth.

"Me as well." Aomine admitted.

No guises then. No empty assurances that everything would be alright. Asuka appreciated it and strangely felt better. She leaned against Aomine's shoulder with her eyes closed. Instead of a stifling heat, Asuka found Aomine's warmth soothing.

"If I get through this, I still won't be fit enough to play in the competition you know." Asuka informed.

"That's fine, we're gonna play as professionals anyway." Aomine brushed off.

Asuka breathed out shakily. Her nerves were slowly calming down. Asuka thought of the night sky in her painting, of the star swirling into images of their hopes and aspirations. And endless expanse of possibility. Asuka wanted to see where she could go, where Aomine could go. I want him to be happy, she'd said. Not only that, Asuka realised she wanted her to be part of that happiness. Through all this, he'd been there supporting her. Asuka wanted to support Aomine too.

"When I go back to AYAI and you're in America for basketball, visit me."

Aomine's arm wrapped around her and held her close. "Of course. Not like I was gonna ignore you again."

Asuka was back amongst the sterile white. It felt colder and warmer all at once. Colder from the nervousness and creeping whispers failure; promises of death. Warmer because there was a reassuring presence at Asuka's side, guiding her down the corridor and grounding her to hope. That's what she was here for after all.

"Hey Aomine?"

"Yeah?"

"I haven't told anyone. Not Otōsan, not Ryōta, no one."

"You told me."

"I haven't said goodbye to anyone."

"You don't need to."

Asuka felt her heart warm. She reached out and gripped Aomine's arm. He moved closer to offer her support.

"There was something else I had to say though."

"What is it?"

Asuka took a deep breath. They'd reach the door. It was just her from here. Her and the surgeons. The door loomed, like a reaper and an angel all at once. Asuka turned to Aomine. His eyes were grave but comforting in their deep blue.

"I can tell you later yeah?" Asuka smiled.

Aomine pulled Asuka into a hug.

"Yeah."

This is a sneaky add in after new years, so its 2019 right now! I changed the chapter a little since an hour ago so sorry those people who have already read. This is all so last minute haha. We're so close to the end now. I did want to finish this year, but with the part time job, the holidays have been anything but filled with spare time. Next year is even more hectic, so when I say close to the end, I really don't know what the time frame for that looks like. However, I will try my damn hardest to write chapters before study becomes a thing again. Education, I appreciate you but you're so needy too! I just had to say thank you again for the reviews! I felt so happy reading them all!