I sat beside where Arthur was sharpening his sword outside my mother's hut, unable to stop myself from leaning against him. My strength had pretty much left me when Will walked out on me. I was beginning to doubt myself as much as Arthur was but I had ample reason, Arthur was just worried about what Will had said and I felt the need to explain Will's motives to him. It wasn't so much that I was defending Will, as I so often had growing up, I just… I wanted Arthur to understand. To not take his harsh words personally.

"William's father was killed fighting for King Cenred. So he doesn't trust anyone of nobility."

"Do you think the villagers believed him?" Arthur's tone conveyed how worried he was about what was happening and I placed a hand on his; atop where they now lay on his knees, the sword forgotten on the ground.

"No. He's… always been a trouble maker, they're used to ignoring him." I tried to smile but it was hard when Arthur looked so sombre. He was better at cheering me up than I was him, it seemed.

"And if he's right?" Arthur didn't look at me directly, just kept his gaze focused on where my hand rested atop his.

"He isn't." Not about us fighting back…

"I'm treating these men like soldiers and they're not. You've seen them fight they… they haven't got a clue! You need to tell them all to leave the village before Kanen returns." Oh no, you don't! You are not giving up! The Great Prince Arthur never gives up! His eyes were still downcast so without releasing his hand I moved so I was knelt in front of him, forcing him to look at me and using his bent legs to balance myself.

"No. We're going to stay. We're going to fight. And we're going to win!" I would make sure of it.

"Merlin, it can't be done. The odds are too great!"

"They can! We're going to make Kanen rue the day he ever came to this village! All you need to do is get the men ready for battle. And the rest…" I'd likely be responsible for. "… will take care of itself." I couldn't not do anything. I couldn't just sit by and watch those around me get cut down. I couldn't let Arthur feel as though he'd failed. Whatever the consequences.

"How?!" Arthur was disbelieving and getting irritated with not having the answers.

"You've just got to believe in them." I placed a hand on his cheek, ignoring the confused look he was giving me. "Like I believe in you. Because if you don't they'll sense it and the battle will be lost before it's even begun." He was still watching me with eyes that were becoming unreadable to me, but there was a heat there, a passion and I hoped it meant he was listening to me. "You have no idea what you can do, how you inspire people with your words alone. You are a powerful ally, a good friend and an incredibly dangerous enemy, Arthur Pendragon. Don't let anyone tell you different." I watched as he began to smile, albeit a small one, before he placed his own hand over where mine still rested on his cheek. I was disappointed when he moved it away and used it to pull me to my feet but his small smile was still there and we began to gather the villagers. A plan already beginning to form behind his eyes.

All of us crowded into one of the larger barns and I stood beside Arthur, silently supporting him whilst he addressed the villagers. I saw my mother watching us with an intensity I hadn't seen before and I wondered at it before Arthur began to speak.

"Women and children should gather what little belongings they can carry and go to the woods." He said this whilst looking at me and I could see what he meant; he wanted me to go with them. Not a cat in hell's chance.

"We're not going anywhere." My voice was full of resolve and I watched his gaze soften as he looked to me.

"I know you want to help but women can't stay here, it's too dangerous." What a load of horse crap!

"The women have as much right to fight for their lives as the men do." I looked to the serious faces of the women that surrounded me, they may not be soldiers but they made their living from hard labour working the land. Not one of them was weak and the greater the numbers the better. Arthur had been dead against letting the women fight before but I realised now that it wasn't his choice. It was theirs. We each had the right to decide whether we wanted to fight or not.

"But none of you know how to fight." Not true; Morgana and I were good fighters, no doubt Gwen had experience with a sword, her father being the blacksmith and all, and my mother had dramatically improved with my guidance. Besides, for all their training the men had barely a clue either. Our best chance was to outnumber Kanen and his men.

"The more of us there are, the better chance we stand!" I raised an eyebrow at him in challenge as the women in the room stood forward, making their wishes known. We would fight, all of us. Arthur didn't seem to know what to make of it, he had grown up believing women needed saving; that they were weak. But they were noblewomen, used to a life of servants and guards protecting them. Out here in the outlying villages, you learnt to fend for yourself because no one else was going to do it for you.

"This is your home. If you want to fight to defend it that's your choice. I'd be honoured to stand alongside you." He responded, this time addressing all the women. Not just me. "Kanen attacks tomorrow. Kanen is brutal, he fights only to kill." I watched the serious faces around me, saw their fear and their resolve and I waited for Arthur to inspire them. "Which is why he will never defeat us. Look around," I watched as they began to turn to each other; making note of the people who they had grown up with, worked with, fought with and laughed with. "In this circle, we're all equals. You're not fighting because someone's ordering you to, you're fighting for so much more than that. You fight for your homes. You fight for your family. You fight for your friends. You fight for the right to grow crops in peace. And if you fall, you fall fighting, for the noblest of causes; fighting for your very right to survive! And when you're old and grey you'll look back on this day and you'll know you earned the right to live every day in between! So you fight; for your family! For your friends! For Ealdor!" I was the first to take up Arthur's cheer, a smile wide on my face at him doing what I had known all along he could and I watched as the others took up the cry, inspired by the words of Prince Arthur, the Once and Future King.

The villagers all wanted to speak with Arthur and after a while I left, knowing I wasn't needed and wondering at my mother's disappearance. She sat on the bench in the dark with only the fire burning in our, her hut when I entered, worry lining her forehead as she warmed herself.

"Come here." She whispered, gesturing to the spot beside her and I made my way over, sitting beside her as she reached up and stroked a hand along my cheek. Her bruise was beginning to fade but I still burned with the raging fire of hatred when I thought of that bastard laying his hand on her. "I do love you, my girl." She was so worried and she looked so guilty.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hating to see her so upset.

"I should never have gone to Camelot. I've ruined everything for you." How could she even think that? She was my mother! I would hate myself if she hadn't have come to me and allowed herself and her people to starve. It would mean that I had failed as a daughter.

"You haven't. Why would you say that?"

"I know what you're planning to do." I sighed, resting my head in my hands and shaking my head.

"If it comes to a choice between saving people's lives and revealing who I truly am, there is no choice." Not when it came to my mother's safety or that of the people she cared about.

"You can't let Arthur know about your gift!" She whispered fervently.

"Why not? Maybe… it's meant to be this way." destiny would make it so. "And if he doesn't accept me for who I really am… then… he's not the friend I hoped he was."

"And if he's not ready? What will you do then?"

"I'll stay here."

"And do what?"

"I don't know. Just... get by." Survive. Count the days until I'm old and grey and eventually fade away.

"Merlin, no one can just pass through life. No more than they can pass through a bit of country. Not without leaving tracks behind and those tracks may often be helpful to those coming after them in finding their way." She sounded so wise but... I hadn't a clue what she was trying to get at.

"What does that even mean?"

"It means, you have to be the one to show Arthur that Magick isn't all bad. When the time is right. Only then will others be free." Sometimes she seriously freaked me out with how much she knew. But when was the right time?

I was lying in my bed when Arthur and the others got back and I pretended to be asleep, the conversation with my mother leaving me with little to say. Even if I was proud of him, I doubted I would be able to find the words to say it right now. So lost I was in my own thoughts.

"Arthur?" He was watching the area from the woodland, making sure Kanen was not advancing so early in the morning. He was gone before the rest of us had awoken, if not for his snoring I would have wondered if he had slept at all the night before. I certainly hadn't had much. "My mother made you some food." I doubted he would thank me for it, he'd barely eaten my mother's cooking during the time we'd been here but he was going to need all his strength for the upcoming battle. We all were.

"Thanks." He said, taking it off me and I went to go, intending to spend some time with my mother before the battle began. "For nothing." I heard him mutter to himself and I spun on him, my anger from the last few days' events rising up in me.

"Food is scarce for these people; you shouldn't turn your nose up at it." I could no longer call them my people, they never really had been except those few who had shown me kindness instead of suspicion. Mathew having been amongst them. "My mother barely has enough to live on as it is but she's trying her best to make sure we're looked after because of what we're doing for them! Because she knows I think of you all as my friends!" His shocked look made me regret the way I'd spoken to him, my words had been true but it wasn't really him I was angry at. It was the situation. "I'm sorry. That wasn't very fair of me. I just…"

"Merlin,"

"No, really, you don't have to say anything, it's not –"

"Merlin!" He nearly shouted, interrupting my ramblings. I shut up. "Thankyou." What? I'd just yelled at him and he was thanking me? "You're right. And you were right to speak up last night, I should have listened to you and Morgana. We're going to need all the help we can get.

"We'll be fine," I reassured him, laying my hand on his arm.

"How can you be so sure?" Because I would make sure of it and…

"Because I have faith in you. We all do." He was silent for a moment, obviously thinking about what I'd just said before answering.

"Thankyou." I raised my eyebrows, shocked at him expressing his gratitude through actual words.

"Blimey, Arthur. Two genuine thankyous in one morning? Are you feeling okay?" I giggled, it turning into a full out laugh when he tried to grab me and I managed to spin away. "You're getting slow." I taunted.

"I'll show you slow." He warned before beginning to chase me through the woods, only stopping when I ran into my mother's hut and hid behind her, sticking my tongue out at him from over her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" My mother asked, turning to face me. "What have I told you about running around the house? You're eighteen years old, not ten!" I watched as Arthur began to chuckle silently as he watched my mother berate me.

"He –"

"Don't even bother saying he started it! I'm finishing it! Now both of you get yourselves dressed, we've got a battle to win!" Even Arthur couldn't turn completely serious straight after that, I kept catching him chuckling to himself whenever he looked at me and I was tempted to hit him… but not tempted enough to incur my mother's wrath again that morning.

Eventually, our amusement began to fade, the seriousness of what we were about to face brought in by the appearance of Morgana and Gwen who had come to let us know that it wouldn't be long now until Kanen was spotted and warn us we'd better get ready. So with a new sense of determination and sadness at all that might be lost today; the village, the villagers, Arthur's trust, maybe even one of us by the end of the day, I began to gather our armour. Setting it down on the table in front of us; I was already in breeches and a tunic so I just placed my chain mail on top before gathering Arthur's shoulder guards. My mother and the others had left us to it, beginning to gather the villagers together and keeping an eye out for Kanen and his men in case he managed to get past those who patrolled the area. Or worse; killed them before they could warn us.

"No. Not today. Put on your own." I looked at him in surprise, he had never put his armour on without help as far as I knew. Not that I doubted he could it was just… so much for me being a dog. I noticed how quick he was at putting his own armour on and briefly wondered why he bothered waiting for me to do it when he was much quicker. He had finished getting himself ready faster than I did, I was struggling to tighten the buckles on my arm guards; usually, Gaius helped me with them as they were a nightmare to try doing one handed. Arthur must have noticed my growing frustration as his own hands replaced mine, tightening the buckles in a second before going over to the one I had already sort of done and tightening it too; it was a lot better than my attempt had been. When he was done he placed a hand on my shoulder and I nearly jumped, not used to him being the one to issue physical contact; that was usually me. "You ready?" Not even a little bit.

"My throat's dry." I remarked.

"Me too." He replied before holding both my hands in his and looking down at me. "It's been an honour." What would he think of me by the end of today? Would he hate me, like his father? Would he accept it like the King the dragon promised he'd become? Would this ruin everything between us?

"Whatever happens out there today, please don't think any differently of me."

"I won't." He seemed too genuine in that second that I so wanted to believe it, that he might care about me enough to look past what I could do but I was scared. "It's okay to be afraid, Merlin." The worst part was I wasn't even afraid of the battle that was coming. All of my fears were focused too much on Arthur for anything else to seep through.

"That's not what I meant."

"What is it?" Would it be better to just tell him now? What if he saw me use Magick and it caused him to be distracted? What if it got him killed? "If you've got something to say, now's the time to say it." I wondered what he was thinking, what he thought I was about to admit because the truth wouldn't even cross his mind. The man I loved was going to hate me. I had to do this, for his sake, for the villagers, for myself.

"Arthur?" Morgana interrupted, poking her head around the door. Was that destiny's way of saying not now? "They've crossed the river." Well, if it wasn't destiny it was very bad timing. I just had to believe now because that was all I had left. I had to believe he cared for me enough to accept me. All of me. I drew my sword as I followed them out, whirling it through the air to get the feel of it whilst I stood with the rest of our group. Morgana was in charge of one of the other groups; those who would be setting the trap. Gwen would be the last defence with her own group that was made up of the most the Ealdor women including my mother, only to engage if it looked like we were losing. I watched Arthur make his way over to the men we would be fighting beside, the ones who were best with a sword, we were the front line. Apparently, Arthur wanted me in his sights at all times which would not be good if I needed to use Magick. I would have to find a reason to leave them.

"You frightened?" Only of you.

"Not in the slightest." He ran his hand down my arm as he passed me and I followed to our place, hidden further back behind one of the barns. We didn't want Kanen to see us ready for him, we hoped he would let his guard down; believing us all to have run. We watched them ride full pelt toward the village; axes and swords drawn high, their battle cries audible from all the way across the field. The footmen broke down the fences, those on horseback jumping over it and began to sift through the straw piles and kick down the doors of the huts close by, all the while waiting for Arthur to give the order. Eventually, Kanen began to take in his surroundings, not seeing a single one of our groups that were hidden away.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are." He sang and I began to feel my blood boil, to him this way a game and I would make damn sure we were going to win. His men continued their efforts to find us, expecting to find us huddled together in fear. Oh, how wrong they were. I heard the straw-covered gate coming up and the whinnying of frightened horses. All we waited for now, was the fire… what was taking so long? It should have been lit the moment the gate raised…

"Now, Morgana. What are you waiting for?" I heard Arthur whisper to himself as the seconds ticked by. "Something's gone wrong." This was my chance, I sprung from my position crouching behind walls and bales of hay trying to get to Morgana and her group; I barely heard Arthur shout after me in a hushed tone. Eventually, there was nothing to hide behind and I had to run in clear sight of them, trying not to panic when I heard their yells and the string of crossbows being released; I managed to duck and dodge most of the arrows, using my Magick for the ones I couldn't. Eventually, I made it to shelter, using it to run the rest of the way as the sound of cantering hooves followed.

"Let me do it." I snapped, noticing she was unable to get the flint to spark. When nothing happened after my second try I used other resources. "Baern'é'" I whispered, hoping Morgana couldn't hear me from her position a foot away as I watched the fire beginning to burn its way around the village; creating a barrier that meant the bandits couldn't get out. And neither could we. It had been a risky decision but after realising that we would unlikely be able to outrun their horses if things went sour, we figured it our best option. Besides, we had one more trick up our sleeves if things didn't seem to be going our way. Me. I watched as the bandits' horses grew frightful and refused to obey, the bandits looking around themselves in confusion and anticipation. I heard Arthur's roar from across the village as he gave the order and I joined the fray, battling my way to him. I couldn't be too close for risk of him seeing my Magick but I needed to be able to protect him too. It was a very risky place to be. The sounds of steel on steel and the roars of triumph and pain accompanied me throughout the fight, those around me doing a lot more damage to the bandits than I had thought them capable of. I was only about fifteen feet away when I was given a break; no one attacking me for the moment. I had already wounded at least five but I was unsure whether or not the blows had been fatal; either way, they'd gone down. I looked across at Arthur and watched as his eyes went wide with panic as they met mine.

"Merlin!" He yelled, fear evident in his tone as he tried to run to me. A part of me knew he would be too late, that I would be dead before I could even finish turning but I began to spin anyway, catching sight of two figures flying to the ground behind me. A horse only a foot away. Will. I watched his sword pull free of the bandit as he turned to face me. He had just saved my life. Still, it never had been our way to speak heartfelt words.

"I didn't think you were coming," I smirked, watching his grin begin to spread.

"Yeah, neither did I." Arthur got to us then, pulling me around to face him and placing his hands on either side of my face; checking for any damage. So far I was unhurt. When Arthur released my head, obviously seeing I was truly okay, it was only to grab me in his arms and pull me to his chest. I felt his lips brush against my hair and I closed my eyes in peace. No other man would ever be able to make me feel at peace during a battle, only ever him.

"Arthur!" I heard Morgana's shout, as the bandits began to gain an advantage on her group and he released me immediately to go to them. Almost as soon as he left us the bandits gained on me and Will who was still stood behind me. We stood back to back, protecting each other from the bandits. I had always known Will was good with a sword, his father had taught him before his death. It was one of the reasons I had been so desperate for him to join us. He hadn't let me down. My near-death obviously making him see passed our arguments as now when we fought it was together like it had always been. Through the chaos of my own clashing sword I watched as everything unfolded around me; the villagers had begun to loose whatever had powered them to begin with and were going down. One at a time. My mother and Gwen fought side by side, surrounded by bandits and were joined by Morgana who was trying her best to protect them. They couldn't hold out for much longer.

"There's too many of them." Will realised, speaking my own thoughts. It was now or never.

"Not for me, there isn't." Will looked over at me, pride and pain warring inside of him. "Cumé þoden". I whispered, slowly raising my hand from the ground to stretch out in front of me as the wind began to pick up, dust flying with it as it twisted in front of me before picking up in speed and intensity; knocking everyone back, both friend and foe alike. It wasn't intended to kill, only to scare the bandits off. To warn them that a Sorceress still protected this village. I did not know if Arthur was watching, I could only concentrate on my power now and if he couldn't accept it when this day was through then at least I had my mother and Will. If Arthur didn't accept me I would remain here, protecting them until my dying breath. The horses began to run, the flames now extinguished by my wind, dragging their riders behind them or disobeying those who remained seated. The villagers began to fight back, picking themselves up from where the wind had knocked them, knowing it came from friend not foe and it inspired them as much as Arthur's words had. The scattered bandits began to run after the horses, truly afraid of what had happened, and I watched those from my village give chase; battle cries rising again as they realised what had happened. As they realised that they'd won. I let the wind go, thanking it silently in my mind as it did before turning around to face my next battle; Arthur. He had been watching and now he stood staring at myself and Will; so many emotions swirled in his eyes that it was hard to distinguish one from the other. He stepped towards me when a bellow rang out across the field.

"Pendragon!" Kanen stood alone but he was not afraid. He was furious. He threw off his cloak revealing the battle axe he still held in his hand before removing his helmet. Arthur span his sword through the air, he hadn't brought his helmet to begin with but he had a shield and sword and to him, that was all he needed. He faced Kanen, watching as he stalked toward him before ducking under his arm as he wielded his axe down, shoving against him with his shield as he did. Arthur's sword came down as Kanen began to turn, disarming him instantly and receiving a foot in the chest for his efforts. But Arthur didn't fall, only stepping back a few paces whilst he regained his footing, giving Kanen the opportunity to relieve on of his dead men of their sword. Neither of them seemed to be gaining the advantage as the steel clashed together repeatedly.

"Shouldn't you help him?" I heard Will whisper from beside me and I shook my head, answering him whilst not taking my eyes off the challenge.

"He's not just a Prince, Will. He's a Knight. If I kill Kanen when they fight one on one he'll think it dishonourable. To him, a Knight values that above almost anything else." Will didn't know of such men, the Knights of Cenred's Kingdom held nothing but arrogance and murder in their hearts. Camelot's didn't. Even with Uther as King. Arthur didn't need my help anyway, within moments of my explanation he dealt Kanen a fatal wound and I watched as he fell upon his knees, I felt no gladness at his death but a sense of justice began to settle in my heart. He had been the kind of man Arthur had spoken of when he told me sometimes it was needed, sometimes there was no other way. Arthur set his eyes on me and I steeled myself, ready to face his anger. I only watched as he stalked towards me; his eyes darting between myself and Will.

"Who did that!?"

"What?" I asked, knowing exactly what he was talking about. It was automatic for me to react oblivious.

"Wind like that doesn't just appear from nowhere! I know Magick when I see it. One of you made that happen." He was panting he was so enraged. I couldn't believe I had been foolish enough to believe he would accept me. To even hope he would accept me. He was Uther's son. No matter how much better a man he was, he would never trust Magick. He would never trust me. And now… now it was time for him to decide whether or not to kill me… or exile me. I couldn't decide which was worse.

"Arthur…" I couldn't think of the words to explain, to make him see. I doubted it was even worth me tying.

"Look out!" Will called as he dashed in front of me, knocking Arthur to the ground as the sound of a crossbows release echoed in the stillness and I watched my best friend drop to his knees in place of the man I loved.

"Will!" I screamed, my voice going shrill, dropping to my knees beside him. Helping him lay back as Arthur dragged himself to kneel beside us.

"You saved my life…" Arthur murmured in disbelief. He never did understand how much people sacrificed for him, from the disgust on his face earlier, I doubted he ever would. I dismissed the thought, this was not the time to nurse my broken heart of Arthur's ignorance. I let my friends head rest in my lap as I stroked his hair back from his sweat covered face, watching him grimace in pain.

"Yeah. I dunno what I was thinking." He groaned.

"Come on. Get him inside!" Arthur ordered, helping me to pull Will up from the ground and carry him into the nearest hut which just so happened to be my mothers. We placed him atop the table that was thankfully clear. The arrow was protruding out of his chest and I knew… there was no way he would survive this. My mother, Gwen and Morgana stood in the doorway but I paid them no attention, keeping my eyes focused on Will's pain-filled ones. As I stroked his hair back as I had done all those years ago when he used to cry himself to sleep over his father.

"That's twice I've saved you." Will groaned, locking eyes with Arthur.

"Twice?" What is he talking about...?

"It was me. I'm the one that used the Magick."

"Will, don't!" I begged, not wanting his final words to be in defence of me. Not when it was a lie…

"It's alright, Merlin. I won't be alive long enough for anyone to do anything to me." Tears began to run down my cheeks at the truth he spoke, but I couldn't bear the thought of them remembering him as… something they hated. "I did it for her, for you, Merlin. You can't see it, Arthur, how much she cares about you, how much it would kill her to see anything happen to you and I couldn't watch her go through that." He'd sacrificed his own life, saving Arthur's… for me. "Besides, I saw how desperate things were becoming and I had to do something." I wanted so much to ease his pain, to change places with him. It should have been me dying for Arthur, I was the one in love with him. Not Will. No, Will had been in love with me and he would die for me… even after I broke his heart.

"You're a sorcerer?" That proved how Arthur truly felt about everything; about me, about Magick… the only thing he could focus on from that sentence was the fact that Will was claiming to be a Sorcerer. Not the explanation. Why should I have hoped for anything else?

"Yeah. What are you going to do, kill me?" Will chuckled, gasping when the movement caused him pain.

"Hush, Will. Just rest." He ignored me, staring up at Arthur. Waiting to see what kind of man he really was. What kind of King he would become.

"No. Of course not." His response proved nothing, it was easy to say that to a man who had only moments left to live anyway. I kept my eyes focused on Will, not wanting Arthur to see the disappointment I felt in him. I had thought he was better than Uther… and overall he was, just not when Magick was involved. "Do what you can for him," Arthur said, I assumed he was talking to me but I didn't look up. I heard him lead the others out as I cried over my best friend. Hating myself for what I had caused.

"I was right about him. I told you he was gonna get me killed." Will joked and I choked on a sob.

"You're not going to die." Please… I had no spells for this, I did not know of any. I couldn't save him…

"You're a good woman, Merlin. A great woman. And one day you're going to be servant to a great King. Who knows, maybe you'll be a Queen." I snorted through my tears. After that? I did not even hope for us to stay friends. "Merlin… the reason I was so awful about how you felt for him was because I was scared. I could see how much he cares for you. How easy it would be for him to fall in love with you. Now, you can still make that happen."

"Because of you." I hadn't the heart to tell him he was wrong, not when he'd died for it. I gently placed a kiss to his head, my heart breaking at his suffering.

"This place has been boring without you. It was good to see you again."

"Yeah, you too." I had missed him and now… I would go on missing him for the rest of my life. He had been my only friend when I was growing up. The only person, apart from my mother, who had accepted me for what I was. Who I had trusted enough to tell them what I was.

"Merlin? Merlin, I'm scared." No, please Will, don't. Don't be afraid.

"Don't be. I've seen what you will see Will and it's so beautiful… it is full of peace and love and happiness and your father will be there. He will be so proud of you. As I am." I forced myself to quiet my sobs as I spoke quietly to him of the beauty of Avalon and stroked his hair and when he took his last breath it was with a small smile and I closed my eyes, letting my grief consume me for a time.

"Merlin?" I looked over to Old Man Simmons, the elder of our village as he passed me the lit torch. It was custom for the one closest to the deceased to speak the final funeral rite.

"Through fire, we cleanse the pain of the past and allow its flames to chase away the dark stain of death. My dear friend, at last, your fight is over. May you find peace." My voice was stronger than I felt but my hand shook as I placed the torch to the funeral Pyre, watching it burn away the body of my best friend. Wishing it could warm the coldness that his death had left in my soul. Arthur stood at my side, I had not said a word to him since Will's passing that morning. Too consumed I was by grief.

"I'm sorry. I know he was a close friend." I could not let Will die in vain. I could not turn my back on Arthur for his hatred of Magick. Not now. Not when destiny spoke of how he would change. Not now Will had died for it.

"He still is." Will would always be in my heart, in my thoughts and in my memories. In that way; he could never die.

"You knew he was a Sorcerer, didn't you? That's what you were going to tell me." Not exactly…

"Yes. It was." I lied, hating myself for it but knowing it was what Will had wanted.

"You know how dangerous Magick is." I also know how great a force it can be for good, too. "You shouldn't have kept this from me, Merlin." Did he have to always be like this? My best friend was dead and all he cared about was Magick. I couldn't help but turn to look at him, anger and grief blazing through me. I did not need to speak, he knew how wrong he had been to say such things but without even an apology he walked away. For once, I let him. Not wanting to make a scene at Will's funeral with all the villagers huddled around. Grieving for him and other loved ones who had died to save their home. My mother took Arthur's place, clasping my hand as I stared into the fire.

"You better be going." Could I? Should I? I didn't know anymore.

"I don't have to go." I resorted, leaving the choice up to her.

"Yes, you do." She had regretted coming to me before, how could I trust she would come to me in the future?

"If anything happened to you –"

"I know where to find you." There was a sadness in her gaze that would not disappear, whether I stayed or went. "You belong at Arthur's side. I've seen how much he needs you. How much you need him. You're like two sides of the same coin." Her voice took on that quality it did when she was going off her intuition, the same way she had spoken before she sent me away the first time. She had been right then. She was right now.

"I've heard someone say that about us before," I remarked, speaking of the Great Dragon and his tales of my destiny. Whatever happened, I could not forsake that. I could not escape it. "I'm gonna miss you," I admitted, hugging her close.

"I'm gonna miss you, too." She said, pulling back and kissing my head like she had when I was a child. "When you left you were just a girl. Now, look at you. I'm so proud of you. When the time is right the truth will be known, until then you must keep your talents hidden. It's better for everyone." One day, I would make Arthur accept Magick. Accept me. Or I would die trying.

I breathed the smoke in, keeping my back straight and head held high as I gazed into the flames, I could still be in Ealdor at Will's funeral pyre for all the difference it made. I did not cry anymore I did not worry. I was no longer disappointed in Arthur I just felt… nothing. I was beyond any emotion as though the fire had burned them along with my friend. Morgana and Gwen were fast asleep but Arthur sat on the other side of the fire, still as awake as I was. I could feel that my gaze was as impassive as my mind at the moment… nothing seemed to matter to me right now. The only person who would usually be able to bring me out of my strange moods was as distant as I was.

"You should get some sleep." I heard him say but I couldn't think of any response that would matter enough right now so I ignored him, letting the flames entrance me. "Merlin, I'm… I'm sorry." He began to walk around the flames to where I sat atop a log. "For your friend. To how I spoke to you at his funeral. For how I reacted when Will saved us all with his Magick. I don't trust it, I can't, but it was unfair of me to react the way I did." I nodded, still staring into the flames as he made to sit beside me. "I don't understand why someone would want to learn about something that corrupts your soul." Only if you let it.

"And those who don't choose Magick? Those who are born with it? Where do they fall into your black and white world?" My voice was dead. It didn't betray a single ounce of what I wished for. I doubted it could.

"No one is born with it, Merlin." He was so sure of it, but he was wrong.

"Yes, they are. When people can move things with their mind before they can even talk… how could that be learned?" I still couldn't bring myself to look at him… I feared what I would see in those eyes of his.

"Are you saying Will could do that?" I just shrugged, not having the energy to lie anymore.

"Does my answer even matter? You are already so sure you know everything about it. Just like your father." With that I stood, not wanting to hear his reply and retreated to my makeshift bed, pretending to sleep whenever he looked over to where I lay.