Chapter 38---Hogan's Setback
Today was a big day for the Colonel according to Prust and Wilson. After four days, the restraints had been removed as was the needle for the saline solution bottles. The only things that continued on this fifth day was the penicillin injections and the treatment of the needle punctures. Wilson knew it would take three more days before the penicillin injections could be stopped; but the needle punctures wouldn't go away completely for at least four weeks. So the Colonel would have a reminder of what he went through for at least a month. In addition, his temperature was almost back to normal; and Hogan had been lucid for a little more than twenty-four hours.
Prust sat on the edge of the bed and proceeded to unwrap Hogan's right arm when he noticed the Colonel stir and open his eyes. He smiled when he saw the doctor.
"Michael, it's good to see you. How am I doing?"
"Robert, you're doing very well. I'd say if things continue the way they are, perhaps in possibly ten days more days you might be able to be moved back to your own quarters."
"Thank God," Hogan murmured. "I'm getting tired of seeing Wilson daily," he joked; his eyes watching the doctor unwrap the gauze. "Where is everybody?"
"Joe is in barracks seven; seems two prisoners have a cold. Your men are in barracks two but promised they'd be back." He tossed the dirty gauze in the wastebasket. He noticed Hogan's eyes narrow as he stared. "Robert, what's wrong?"
"Oh my God!" Hogan cried when he saw his bare arm. "My God! What was done to me, Michael? What happened to me? All those needle marks. Oh my God!" Hogan squeezed his eyes tightly shut and turned his head away so he wouldn't have to see the marks. He began to sob quietly. "Oh God," he kept murmuring.
Prust shook his head. He put a hand gently on his friend's shoulder. "Robert, look at me," he said softly.
"I can't. Oh God! Needle marks! That's why I was so sick, wasn't it?" Hogan suddenly opened his eyes and looked at Prust with red, wet eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "What was it, Michael? What was I given? Tell me. I need to know."
Just then Hogan's men re-entered the infirmary. They all sensed something was wrong by the way Prust looked at them from where he was sitting.
"I think the moment we've all been dreading has finally come," Kinch whispered to the others. They approached the bed and saw the distress their commanding officer was in and Hogan's bare arm lying in Prust's lap, and knew immediately the Colonel had seen the needle marks. The pain in their eyes did not escape Hogan.
"You all know, don't you?" he asked, his voice breaking. "What was it? Tell me!" Hogan was becoming agitated.
Kinch sat down on the opposite side of the bed; Hogan's eyes following him, never leaving his face.
"Colonel, we will tell you everything. But you have to calm down. Unless you calm down, we won't tell you anything," he said calmly. "Can you do that for us, Colonel?"
As Kinch talked, Prust proceeded to apply the medicated salve and re-wrap the arm with clean gauze. He had decided to let the men explain things to a certain point to the Colonel, then he would take over. He could see the Colonel appeared to be calming down as Kinch talked to him; but the fear was still in his eyes. Fear of the unknown.
Hogan swallowed hard and let out a deep breath. "Alright, Kinch, I'm as calm as I'm going to get. Now, what was done to me?"
Kinch proceed to then explain how a Gestapo Captain named Diels removed him from Stalag 13 with phony arrest orders. At that point, Newkirk, who sat down in the empty chair beside the bed, picked up the story from there, with LeBeau and Carter each taking turns finishing bringing Hogan up to the present moment.
"So, in other words, this Gestapo Captain kidnapped me for his own purposes which was to find out about the operation is what you're telling me?" He looked at each of the men.
"Yes, sir," Newkirk replied grimly, afraid of the next question he was sure to come. Stealing glances at the others, he could see they all felt the same way.
"You've all told me everything except the one thing I need to know," Hogan said. "And that is what this Gestapo Captain gave me to try and get this information from me."
The men all turned to Prust this time. Seeing them do so, Hogan's eyes shifted to his friend as well.
"Michael?" he asked nervously.
Prust sighed. "Robert, he injected you repeatedly with heroin and got you addicted."
There was a long moment of silence as only one word echoed in Hogan's head. Heroin!
Finally, there was a wail of such intense agony from Hogan, that everybody thought he was having an attack. Newkirk reached out and touched his commander's arm, but Hogan immediately turned away, shutting his eyes and sobbed uncontrollably.
Prust gripped his friend's shoulder. "Robert, look at me. Please."
Hogan covered his face with his hand. "Go away! All of you! Just go away and leave me alone! Oh God! Heroin! No!" He then buried his face in his pillow and continued to sob.
"Colonel…." Kinch said calmly. "Please. You're over the worst of it."
"Just go away! All of you! Please go!" Hogan's muffled voice was heard.
Carter would not be deterred however. Grabbing the Colonel by one shoulder, he pulled him onto his back forcing him to look at him. Carter also had tears rolling down his face. "Colonel, don't do this to yourself. Don't shut down because of what that bastard did to you. Don't let him win!"
"Don't you understand, Carter. Heroin! He turned me into a drug addict!"
"No he didn't, sir. I don't know much about this entire thing, but from where I stand, you can't be a drug addict if it was forced on you against your will. Heck, you didn't voluntarily take the stuff. This Captain did this to you…" He saw Hogan turn his head away and shut his eyes. But Carter gripped Hogan's jaw and turned his head towards him again and held it there. "Colonel, I won't let you shut yourself off from us. We thought we had lost you when this creep took you out of camp. We thought we'd never find or see you again. But then we got you back. Don't let this guy win by you shutting down. Please, sir."
"Andrew's right, Gov'nor. We're here for you. And we're not going anywhere," said Newkirk.
"Oui, mon Colonel," LeBeau replied wiping his face. "This was done to you deliberately by an evil Bosche. We are here for you always. No matter what."
"Please, Colonel," Kinch added. "Let us help you. You can beat this. You've already gotten over the worst of it. You just have to hang in and let us help you. Please, let us help you."
Hogan wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand and looked at the four men. His team. His friends. Still willing to stick by him despite everything. He looked at Prust.
"What are the chances that I will turn to this drug again?" he asked, still looking at the men.
Prust let out a deep breath. He clasped his hands, letting his arms rest on his legs. "Robert, you went through what is known as 'cold turkey' drug withdrawal meaning we had to wean you off the heroin gradually. But to fully recover from the withdrawal will take about one week. As a substitute for the drug, you were given pieces of chocolate followed by a few sips of water."
"Chocolate?" Hogan turned to Prust, puzzled.
"Yes. The chocolate gave you the same euphoric feeling as the heroin, and also the sugar your body needed to burn. The water was to cut down on the nausea. You haven't had any solid food for nearly a week except for the chocolate, water, a little thin broth and some coffee. You were also given several bottles of saline solution because you were very dehydrated. To answer your other question, Robert, there's always the chance you could relapse. There will be times when you will have cravings for the drug. But that will eventually pass in time. But whether or not you relapse will depend a lot on you, your strength, and help from your men and Sergeant Wilson."
Hogan sighed wearily. He was still in shock over discovering what he had been injected with and addicted to. "What kind of help, Michael?" he asked.
"Well, you'll have to occupy your mind with unrelated thoughts that will, in time, eliminate your body's physical craving for the heroin."
"And how much time are we talking about? A month? Six months? A year? What?"
"There's no way to tell, Robert. I'm sorry."
"I see," Hogan replied in a voice devoid of emotion. He laid an arm across his eyes. "Could all of you leave me alone for awhile? I need to do some serious thinking."
"Sure, Colonel," Kinch replied as he and the others and Prust got up and started to leave.
"Not you, Kinch," Hogan said keeping his eyes covered. "I want you to stay for awhile."
Kinch looked at the others, puzzled. "Sure, Colonel," he said sitting in the chair beside the bed. "I'll stay as long as you want me to." The radioman knew that he could be sitting for awhile without Hogan saying anything as he might just want Kinch's company. Or, it might be something he wanted to discuss with Kinch without the others hearing. He didn't have long to wait.
"Are we alone, Kinch?" Hogan asked still keeping his eyes covered.
"Yes, sir."
"Good." Hogan uncovered his eyes and turned his head to face his second-in-command.
"Kinch, I want you to answer a question for me."
"If I can, Colonel," Kinch answered.
"How would you feel taking over the operation for me?"
Kinch shrugged. "I can continue to hold things down until you've recovered, sir," he said, feeling there was something odd in Hogan's voice.
"I'm not talking temporarily, Kinch. I'm talking about permanently."
"Excuse me, sir?" Kinch stared at his commanding officer with raised eyebrows. "Colonel, are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"You heard me, Kinch. I want you to take over the operation permanently."
"And where will you be if I might ask, sir?"
"I want you to inform General Butler that I am resigning my command effective immediately. When he asks why, tell him the truth about the heroin. Don't lie to him."
Kinch took a long moment before he uttered the words he never thought he would ever hear himself utter to his commanding officer.
"Colonel, you can court-martial me, kick me off the team or have me transferred out of the barracks. But under no circumstances will I contract General Butler with that message, nor will I replace you permanently."
Hogan's eyes narrowed as his face darkened. "Are you refusing to obey a direct order, Sergeant?"
Kinch let out a deep breath. He knew Hogan well enough to know when he addressed someone by their rank he was angry; very angry. "I guess I am, Colonel," he said gently.
"Then get out of my sight, Sergeant!" Hogan shouted loud enough to bring the others running, including Prust. They all saw Hogan glaring angrily at his second-in-command. "I said get out, Sergeant!"
Kinch sighed and looked at the others as he got to his feet and silently walked past them and out of the infirmary, slamming the door behind him.
"Mon Colonel, what is wrong?" asked LeBeau, confused.
Hogan laid his arm over his eyes again. "All of you just leave me alone! Please! Just go away!"
The men looked at each other, confused and worried. Something had happened between the Colonel and Kinch.
"Colonel, is there something we…" Carter began saying.
Hogan uncovered his eyes, and glared angrily at all of them. He didn't have to say a single word. His face and silence spoke volumes.
"I think we'd better leave the Gov'nor alone and let him rest," Newkirk grabbed Carter's arm and led him, followed by LeBeau, out of the infirmary. That left Prust alone with Hogan.
"Why are you still here," Hogan said; it was a statement as opposed to a question.
"Unfortunately, Robert," Prust replied calmly. "Until you have been discharged by either myself or Sergeant Wilson, a medical person must be with you in case any problems arise. So, in other words, you're stuck with me."
"Fine," the Colonel snapped. "Stay if you want. Just leave me alone!" Hogan abruptly turned his back on Prust and covered his face with one hand.
Prust, sitting down in the chair, crossed his legs and folded his arms; his eyes watching his friend's back. Although he wasn't absolutely certain, he thought he saw Hogan's body shake and heard himcry.