I am so excited at finally getting to write these scenes, they've been in my head since the beginning. Thank you all for the kind reviews, I am glad the story is compelling enough to hold your interest.

As always, the characters aren't mine, but I sure wish they were.

Enjoy

Part 38

He wasn't used to not being in control, it was a sick feeling that ran right from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. Even when he was working both sides during the war, and in the years that had led up to it, he had always known where his allegiances lay. No one had ever set his destiny, not since his father's abuse had ultimately pushed him on his one course. He hated feeling so powerless and had vowed to himself never to be that way again, and he had lived by that all these years, but now?

When Hermione had woven her spell of revelation around him, and he had seen the shadowy mist encircling his own body he had been at first repulsed and then angry, and it had been the rage that had emerged. It was the fury at the loss of control that had come out in his words, hurled like venom at the quivering girl who had stood before him. Now revealed, the spell was seemingly broken but it had left Severus of two minds, uncertain if the spell had made him fall in love with Hermione or if it had made him despise her. The fulcrum was the one word she had uttered, because that was the moment everything had changed for him: pregnant.

She had torn from the room after revealing the deception, before he could process anything but his own outrage. Pregnant? It hit him hard as he repeated it to himself over and over. He was going to have a child, the thought filled part of him with absolute happiness. Just as he had never dared to think of himself falling in love; not since Lily at least, he had never believed he would have a child. But there was another part of him, an awakened darkness that was absolute poison. How could a little mudblood such as she, dare to think herself worthy of him, worthy of his child. The duplicity within his own mind was torture and his inability to force himself to focus on one train of thought or the other made him feel like a puppet; a puppet that was quickly spiraling into madness. He pushed against himself and tried to concentrate on keeping a steady hold of his thoughts, needing to solve the mystery of who and how he had been enchanted before any other considerations.

"One step at a time Severus!" The sound of his voice helped him to get his bearings, and so he continued, out loud, trying to uncover the pieces of the puzzle in his mind, and trying to put them together.

"When could this have happened? For something so powerful to have taken hold I would have had to be conscious when it was cast. But I have no memories of this. If Dumbledore were here I could go to him, he could draw out locked memories. But he's not!" He began to stalk around the room like a caged animal, still talking and cursing to himself.

"It couldn't have happened at Hogwarts, could it? No, a better chance it happened elsewhere! How long has this curse been with me?"

Too many questions, it was becoming hard again to fight the irrational being within. He tried to replay memories of every time he had been away from the school in the preceding months. Hogsmeade, the field trip to the Elder grove, London, Spinner's End, St. Mungos. His mind snapped to realization. St. Mungos! There had been so many Healers around him, so many visitors to the hospital; he had been in and out of consciousness. That had to be the answer! He was able to grasp that one slender lifeline when Potter and Hermione burst into his office, and then he lost that last tenuous hold as well.

Harry struck the door loudly with his fist, knocking it open. Severus turned to the noise, surprised to see Harry and Hermione pause just briefly at the threshold before Harry pulled her inside.

"Mr. Potter! What?" He stopped dead, mid rabid sentence as he saw Hermione's tear streaked face. Something in his chest began to ache at that moment. She was going for the box of floo powder on his mantle, but he could not move to stop her, it was as if he was frozen in place, watching as she gave the box to Harry as if it was simply a magical picture and not right before him. Harry glowered at him, his wand drawn.

"Where are you going?" he managed to ask, but even listening to his own voice he did not recognize it as such, it sounded so poisonous. Harry didn't answer the question, but let loose with his anger.

"I'm getting her out of here and away from you! I don't know what the hell is going on here, but I know enough! If you aren't man enough to step up for her, I am!"

"Potter!"

"You don't need to worry Snape! McGonagall believes by now that the baby is mine! Your precious position is safe; it's all you've ever loved anyways! But know this, I'll be back to make you regret everything you've ever done to hurt her!" Harry fairly spat as he hurled the powder into the fireplace. "12 Grimmauld Place!" and then he pulled Hermione through with him.

"Wait!" Severus' cry fell on empty space as the multicolored lights faded back to the normal orange glow of the flame. He collapsed into his chair, legs suddenly weak, head spinning. "Don't go." He whispered out into the nothingness. Then he lay his head down on his desk, covered it with his clasped hands and began to cry.

He could hardly form the words to question what was happening around him, but he had heard the anger in Potter's voice and saw the terrible choked pain on Hermione's face. That became real for him, but too quickly the feelings were gone, replaced by confusion and he could do nothing but collapse on his desk.

Potter. Potter was a key to this. Desperation pushed his brain on towards a solution. Potter had been able to get into his head before, and see his memories when pushed to the edge of anger in Occulomecy class. He was most certainly angry now. Harry could do it; he could find the lost memories and the truth.

Now, driven with his own anger at having fallen victim to this spell and by the ache in his gut when he thought of Hermione and his child, their child, he pulled his dark travelling cloak from the stand beside his desk and whipped it around his shoulders, scattering articles from his desk every which way. Even though the door was wide open from where Potter had thrown it Severus failed to see Minerva McGonagall storming towards him, violence in her eyes. Her very presence forced him to back up.

"Where are you going!" She rarely raised her voice, but this time the ferocity in it was plainly obvious.

"I have to get to London."

"Not until I get some answers Severus!"

"Not now Minerva, something dark is at work here and I mean to deal with it."

"Harry and Hermione have fled Hogwarts Severus! And you know more about why than anyone, so don't even try to feign innocence."

"I wouldn't insult you like that Minerva." He would have said anything to get her out of his way.

"Mme. Pomfrey tells me Hermione is pregnant." The word twisted the knife in his heart.

"Yes, I was aware of that." He tried to keep his voice as measured as he could. "If you'll let me go I can find them and bring them back."

"You know where they are?"

"I do."

"And what makes you think you can bring them back?"

"I have something to offer them."

"What Severus? I am tired of your cryptic responses!"

"The truth Minerva, between the three of us we can have the truth!"

"Harry has already admitted to being the father." It felt like another turn of the knife.

"Minerva, there is so much more here than you know." He made to move around her to the doorway. She spun, pointing her wand at him.

"Stand your ground Severus!"

"Either stun me, or let me go Minerva!" They stared at each other for a few tense seconds, he knew he would have to move quickly if he was to find them, Grimmauld place was only a way point, they could have gone anywhere in the world by now, and he was wasting time. Minerva lowered her wand.

"Why Severus? How are you caught up in all of this? Please, tell me it isn't what I am dreading?"

"The child is mine Minerva." And he rushed past her before he could see the truth of her suspicions settle on her face and before she could raise the wand again and kill him.

Harry would have blocked the floo network to 12 Grimmauld Place the moment he and Hermione had stepped through; Severus knew that. Between Potter and Hermione's skills he knew that it wasn't going to be that easy to travel there. On Hogwarts' grounds he also knew he wouldn't be able to disapparate. He had to get to London, and his only rapid travelling option was likely preparing to go to bed, down in a little cabin at the edge of the forest.

"Hagrid!" He pounded on the door, "Hagrid please, I need your help!" Pride had gone out the window, because he had to move quickly.

"Professor Snape!" The loud voice cut the still of the dark night, as did the heavy steps, and the groaning of the heavy wooden door, as it swung open. "What is it?" The half giant had his robe wrapped around his middle, and a silly looking sleeping hat on, not that Severus would dared have said a thing.

"I need to get to London Hagrid, immediately."

"What's going on?"

"I have to go after Harry and Hermione."

"Is it the curse that Firenze was talking about?" Suddenly the sleepy look in the man's eyes was replaced with something akin to panic.

"What curse?" Severus was even more confused by this new revelation.

"Firenze has been seeing some kind of disturbance for months now, something that was going to hurt Hermione. I thought Harry was going to tell you about it, seeing as you're her friend and all."

"I guess he chose not too." Which didn't really surprise Severus all that much. "What was it about?"

"I don't profess to understand all the things Firenze says, just something about causing her great despair, and dark magic, and changing the course of her life, or some such thing."

Out in the open, admitting to Minerva the truth about the child, asking Hagrid for help, things he would never have done before, Severus felt the grip of the spell starting to fade, and it made the realization of how he was involved in this curse obvious.

"I believe that this is what must have happened Hagrid, I need to get to London, to protect them."

"Then you'll be needing a Thestral Professor." And he put his fingers to his mouth and blew a very sharp whistle out into the night. The sound of the leathery flapping wings coming towards them was almost instantaneous. "Oh good," he exclaimed, "it's Whistrum, he's a good boy and he'll get you wherever you need to be." The beast landed on Hagrid's front garden.

"Thank you Hagrid, I will not forget this kindness."

"You just bring those kids home safe Professor."

"I intend to do just that."

He grabbed a hold of the beast's main and threw himself up onto its back.

"12 Grimmauld Place." He whispered into its ear, "Or some alleyway close by, please." The rush of air as they took to the sky nearly threw him off his mount, but he settled in quickly enough, tucked his head in low behind its neck and cursed at himself the whole way into London.