Chapter 36 – A Maid's Lament
Night was soon upon them. The silence continued for an eternity to them before Rebecca finally broke it.
"Sheesshh... Now that's a fairy tale I'm witnessing." She said.
"Can't they do it when they're alone?" Margery was somewhat annoyed.
"Well, it's not 18+ stuff that they're doing, so..." Rebecca replied.
"Wahahaha! My dear Margery, why are you looking so sour? Don't tell me you are hoping that Satou-" Marchosias began to laugh, but Margery slammed the book on the ground and stomped him.
Upon hearing the commotion, the embracing couple reluctantly let go of each other. Michiru stared closely at Wilhelmina. She still had tears in her eyes and her cheeks were red than pink. She looked extremely fragile; Michiru had never seen her like that before, and he was sure no one did.
"Uhh... uhh... it's okay... Ignore them. You can continue." Rebecca quickly said.
Wilhelmina had completely forgotten that Rebecca and Margery were there as well. She wouldn't mind if it were only Michiru, but she felt somewhat shameful for letting Margery and Rebecca see the weak side of her too. Still, right at this moment, she did not seem to care much, which surprised herself too.
"Well, nobody would be able to hug at ease after being interrupted abruptly. So uhh... we'll need to find some place to stay. It's too exhausting to head back to that house in Atlanta." Michiru said.
"I think I passed by a low-cost hotel on my way here. It's not far away." Rebecca said.
"But I don't have money with me. US Dollars I mean." Michiru said.
Rebecca waved some Benjamins in his face. "I guess you owe me one."
"Yeah, I owe you..." Michiru sighed.
So, the four of them checked in at the hotel which Rebecca mentioned. Rebecca called for two rooms, and the owner handed her the keys. They went upstairs to search for their rooms.
"Okay, here we are." Rebecca said, "Our rooms are just beside each other's. So we got two rooms and four people. This means two people have to share one room."
"Yes, yes, I can count fine, thank you." Michiru said sarcastically.
"And I expect you to have common sense that in cases like this, guys will sleep in one room and girls the other, right?" Rebecca said.
"Errr... Huh? What are you getting at?"
"This means, you and I get to sleep in this room together!" Rebecca suddenly held Michiru's arm and pulled him into the room. Michiru was unable to resist because Rebecca had taken him by complete surprise.
He did not even realize that Wilhelmina was standing in front of Rebecca, blocking her way into the room and looking at her with an angry expression.
"Chee-hee! I guess someone has a problem with the arrangements!" She said sarcastically, "Oh well, I guess I will go to the other room with Margery, then. Good night Wilhelmina, good night Michi."
She tossed the key at Michiru but he failed to catch it. Then, stifling their giggles, both Rebecca and Margery quickly entered their rooms, leaving Michiru in an awkward situation with Wilhelmina. The latter seemed to have realized her actions, and she blushed heavily.
"Subconscious act." Tiamat said, and Wilhelmina knocked her, hitting her own head during the process.
Rebecca had put them in an awkward situation on purpose. Now Michiru was forced to share a hotel room with Wilhelmina. She had left the key to their room on the floor in front of hers.
Michiru picked up the key and they entered their room. It had two beds, and pretty much everything else you can expect in a not very expensive hotel room. The air was also rather cool.
Wilhelmina walked towards one of the beds and sat down. She stared at the ground, still blushing. Michiru was sure she was severely lacking the energy to stand. He smiled and sat beside her.
"Should we talk?" He asked her.
"About?" Wilhelmina replied in a very soft tone.
"Anything you want to talk about." Michiru said.
Wilhelmina did not really know how to answer to that and silence befell on them again. After a minute Michiru could not stand it. He grasped Wilhelmina's right hand, which she had placed on the bed while she set.
"Remember the time we walked together in the night back in Misaki City? I really regretted not holding your hand back then. It could have been the perfect chance to do so. But I'm not gonna shy away this time."
He held her hand even harder as he continued, "Wilhelmina, I will tell you my feelings for you. So in return, you must tell me your feelings about me, alright?" he looked at her, determination in his eyes. Wilhelmina glanced at him sideways and then quickly looked back at the ground again.
"Remember the first day we met? It was a weird experience for me." Michiru said to her.
Wilhelmina could remember that day very well. It was the day she suffered tremendous humiliation against Kojiro Takasu, a member of the Mystes who were searching for Golden. Michiru had found her while she was on the verge of losing consciousness, and she warned him not to take her to the hospital. Thus Michiru left her at his house to rest while he went to school, which turned out to be the same school Yuji and Shana were studying in: Misaki Municipal High School.
"I was in that house when I everything began. It's like the first time you start to have consciousness and memory as a baby. I just felt like I appeared there out of nowhere. I lost my memory and had no idea who I was. I was wearing a uniform, and I looked at the badge. So I asked someone from there about where my school was. That fella looked at me strangely because I was asking him how to go to school and not the other way round."
Wilhelmina suddenly remembered something she had wanted to ask Michiru but had forgotten about it.
"After you knocked onto me-"
Michiru sniggered, "You're still angry at me for knocking the stuff out of your hand? Come on, I was in a real rush! And I did come back for you in the end, didn't I?"
Wilhelmina shot him an angry look and he quickly shut up.
"You had experienced the Fuzetsu at that time?"
"Yeah, it was the very first time. Everything just kinda stopped. I was really shocked, and then I heard some noise behind me, so I came back. Then I saw you fighting with Kojiro. And you lost, so I quickly ran to you."
So Michiru had actually witnessed her defeat. It made the humiliation given to her even worse.
"You were really stubborn, you know. You keep telling me not to take you to the hospital even though you were wounded everywhere."
"The doctors will realize that my body is different from a human's. We Flame Hazes have a duty to keep our identities a secret as well."
"You didn't tell me that then. I still wanted to take you to a clinic at least. But I didn't know where it was."
"So, why did you still bring me back to your place?"
"Tiamat told me to."
Wilhelmina looked upwards in irritation.
"It wasn't easy to understand her words. She was speaking with as few words as possible." In fact, Tiamat never spoke to him since from that time onwards. He wanted to point it out but he realized that Tiamat was actually there with them. Michiru always forgot about Tiamat's existence because she looked like a regular accessory on Wilhelmina's head, and she never talked.
"Tiamat is very unsociable."
"That I understand. But still, she was really concerned about you. She told me she could heal your wounds. And after witnessing all that fantasy-like stuff I believed her. And she said you would leave on your own after your wounds heal, so when I come back I probably won't find you there. But you were still there when I returned, and I even brought Yuji and Shana with me."
"And it was from that time onwards that we started living under the same roof."
"Yeah... I was really glad. I thought I really wasn't going to see you again when I left for school. But Yuji and Shana seemed to be acquainted with you, so I guess we're still fated to see each other again. And we even spent a lot of time together. I can still remember them clearly like it was yesterday."
Wilhelmina wondered why Michiru was being so sentimental for hardly any reason. Not only so, he had made her feel the same way. Wilhelmina was starting to remember the times when they spent together alone, awkwardly, but happily.
"You scared me so many times. First Kojiro, then Zeus, then Kojiro again, and finally Sabrac."
Michiru was talking about the times where Wilhelmina had been in peril, and she was not pleased.
"I had managed to survive in all those instances, so there is little reason to worry about it anymore. However, I am still grateful for that assistance that you have given me." Wilhelmina replied.
"Stop acting so cold..." Michiru sighed, "You really scared the hell out of me. If anything were to happen to you, I don't know how I'm supposed to continue with my life."
Then there was another awkward silence. Michiru was still holding onto Wilhelmina's hand, but he had completely forgotten about it. Wilhelmina was still blushing from his last comment. She felt touched, but she did not want to show it. She felt that she had shown more than enough of her weakness to him already, when she let him held her as she cried in her arms after defeating the titan.
"I get the feeling that you were trying to distance yourself from me after that. Was I being overly narcissistic, or was that true?" He asked, breaking the silence.
"I have not been running away." Wilhelmina said firmly.
"Okay, then you were." Michiru said quickly. Wilhelmina shot him an angry look.
"Is it about Merihim?" Michiru asked. He felt Wilhelmina clench her fist tightly in his.
"I have nothing to do with that hateful man." Wilhelmina said, trying to sound tough but her voice was becoming shaky.
"You're lying." Michiru said, softening his voice. Wilhelmina, on the other hand, hardened hers.
"I do not wish to talk about him."
"But I do." Michiru whispered.
"Your-"
Michiru placed his finger on Wilhelmina's lips. She looked surprised for a moment and blushed.
"If you have the energy to argue, then you have the energy to talk about it too."
He removed his finer. Wilhelmina was breathing hard.
"Let it out, alright? You need someone to talk to, and I am here for you."
"This does not-"
"Don't say this does not concern me, because it does."
Wilhelmina gave a small gasp. Michiru had known what she was about to say and cut across her. She felt a little warm. It seemed that Michiru really understood her feelings and what she was thinking. If that was the case, maybe it would be wiser to talk afterall? Michiru was right, she had a really complex feeling going on at the back of her mind. No matter how she tried not to pay attention to it, it kept on eating her on the inside. Was it finally time for her to crumble?
"This Merihim. Do you still love him or not?" Michiru suddenly shot her with an unanswerable question. Wilhelmina had been hiding this feeling for centuries. She quickly looked away. She regretted softening herself in front of Michiru.
"Enough. I do not wish to answer." Wilhelmina said, shaking uncontrollably. Michiru pulled her head around and placed his forehead on hers. He stared at her intently, causing her to feel light-headed.
"Stop running away, Wilhelmina. I do not wish to have any regret lingering between us when it's too late."
Wilhelmina could not resist. She was charmed by his determination. She looked into his blue eyes. She could suddenly see her past in it. Slowly, she gave him the answer, one that she herself had not expected.
"I ask you again. Do you still love Merihim?" Michiru said.
"Yes..." Wilehlmina replied softly.
She was afraid that Michiru might feel hurt, but he was smiling instead.
"Good. You're being honest." Michiru had known the answer before she spoke it. And when he looked into her eyes as she answered, there was no room left for doubt. He was indeed hurt by it to hear her say that, but there were more pressing matters at hand, so he should not let that get to him.
"It was frustrating... He refused to acknowledge me no matter how I show my feelings to him. He is indeed a hateful person. Even until the very end he had never returned my feelings towards him. It left a scar within me as a result. I felt heartbroken that I still do not get to have his love even though I have tried very hard. I felt it was unfair."
"And you are planning to do the same to me, then?"
"Precisely, I did not want to. I am merely afraid that the reason I have come to accept you is because I do not wish to hurt you."
"There you go again, thinking about others before yourself. You think that I'd be happy if you forced yourself to love me for a stupid reason like that?"
"I know you would not. That is why... I became confused. I did not know why or when I started having feelings for you, and I was scared to admit it."
"You're stupid to think like that. There's no way the reason you like me is because you do not wish another repeat of your past. If that's the case I'll end up being happy at the expense of yours."
She agreed that Michiru's word made sense. However, she could not get rid of the doubt in herself. Yes, at first she did not harbor any feelings for Michiru, but after some time she began to. But what was the reason for that? Was it because she knew that Michiru liked her, but she did not want to hurt his feelings? Was it because she did not want Michiru to suffer the same way she did in the past?
"Were you glad to have met me?" Michiru said suddenly.
Wilhelmina gasped.
"Since my existence caused you so much pain, wouldn't it be better if we never met at all?"
"You should not speak like that. I have never felt-"
"You wouldn't. You're too kind. But I felt it. At some point when Shana told me about Merihim. I felt it. I felt that my existence brought you more harm than good."
Wilhelmina cursed Shana silently for being such a busybody.
"I am glad that I met you. I was glad that I was able to spend time with you." Wilhelmina said, looking into Michiru's eyes. "At first, I believed that hateful person would come back. I believed he was alive. I believed in his love. I was foolish. But after I met you, I have become used to life without Merihim. I do not feel strange about his absence anymore... I am getting used to the life with you... But I have also become afraid that you would leave me."
"I won't be going anywhere. I'm Golden, remember? I'm the Flame of Everlasting. There's nothing to worry about." Michiru smiled at her reassuringly.
"The reason Golden seems invincible is because it regenerates its power of existence under direct sunlight, like a plant. Without light, Golden will disappear as well." Wilhelmina said, remembering Arken's words and looking rather hurt. Michiru could not hide his surprise.
"No way... How is this even..." Michiru said, his voice trailing away.
There was a pause. Then Wilhelmina spoke again.
"I was scared that if I devote my feelings to you, I will end up getting hurt instead. Ever since getting hurt by Merihim, I have lost my will to love..."
"Then, I ask you this. Have I ever hurt you?" Michiru said. He was not asking a question, since he knew the answer. Wilhelmina looked rather surprised. Then she slowly nodded.
"It was the time when you pretended to be unconscious. I was very worried about you, but you played a trick on me. You had made me very angry."
"At that time when I hurt your feelings, have you devoted your feelings to me?"
Wilhelmina finally understood what he was getting at, but she did not answer him.
"Love cannot happen without hurt, Wilhelmina. It's a natural process. And besides, I won't let him torture you from beyond the grave. You have the right to pursue your love."
Wilhelmina bit her lower lip. She felt tears beginning to well up in her eyes and she quickly blinked madly.
"If you have any tears left, Wilhelmina. Just let it out." Michiru said.
Michiru should know better that Wilhelmina would not listen to a request like that. However she could not stop her tears, so without thinking, she used a rather silly method to hide her tears.
She put on her battle mask and looked away. Michiru could not prevent himself from grinning at Wilhelmina's silliness. She was definitely not thinking straight, now was his chance.
"You're always like this... Wearing a mask, trying to hide your emotions..." He said, "Don't you ever get tired of it?"
Wilhelmina ignored him.
"Hey, at least look at me when I'm talking to you, okay? Turn over here." Michiru said. Wilhelmina obediently did as she was told. Michiru seized his opportunity.
Smiling at her, he placed a hand on her mask, and slowly removed it, revealing Wilhelmina's crying face. Just when she was about to snatch it back, Michiru's lips had found hers. Wilhelmina's eyes went wide.
"No matter how many times you try to put on your mask, I will keep removing them. No matter how many masks you wear, I will remove them until none are left. From this day onwards, Wilhelmina Carmel, you will stop putting on that tough-looking mask that you wear all the time, because whenever you do, I will peel off your mask." He said to her as more tears began to fall.
Wilhelmina had gradually begun to accept the fact that she can reveal her weaknesses to Michiru. After all, he was the only one who could protect her in ways that no one else could. She buried her face into his chest once again, and began to tremble. She tried to keep her crying silent, but after Michiru began patting her head and stroking her hair gently she slowly began to sob, and then wail.
"You can cry, Wilhelmina. You should keep crying until you have no tears left." Michiru said, still stroking her hair and feeling the fragrance. "I swear I'll never let you shed a single tear again."
-x-
"Hey, hey, did you see her face when she blocked me from entering the door? Ha ha ha ha ha! That was priceless!"
A few meters apart, Rebecca was laughing happily while speaking with Margery.
"Keep it down, you might disturb them." Margery said. She, too, was smiling uncontrollably.
"She never wants to show her feelings. I really took a gamble there by bringing Michiru into the same room with me. Guess I hit the bull's-eye, she was angry. A ha ha ha!" Rebecca continued laughing.
"But if you fail, you might really end up sharing a room with him." Margery pointed out.
"Ewww..."
Marchosias and Balar burst out laughing.
"Regardless, it was a nice move." Margery complimented her, "You are very brave and creative."
"Wait, did you hear that?" Rebecca said suddenly.
"No, is there supposed to be any sound?" Balar said. Rebecca looked at Margery and pointed at the direction of the sound. It was the wall that was facing Michiru and Wilhelmina's room. They walked towards there and placed their ears on the wall.
"Oh my freaking gosh what's this weird noise that she's making?" Rebecca said loudly, "Don't that me that they're doing s-"
"It sounds like crying." Margery said.
"Hmm? Oh yeah, it does." Rebecca replied sheepishly.
They remained silent and focused on the noise. It was indeed Wilhelmina crying in the other room.
"Wilhelmina crying, huh..." Rebecca said, "Never thought I'd live to see the day she'll cry."
"I was surprised that she was hugging him and crying too just now." Margery added.
"That guy is one heck of a special person," Rebecca said, "I'm glad he's around to show Wilhelmina her true feelings."
-x-
Wilhelmina had finished crying. Her swollen eyes were staring into Michiru."
"Hey, Wilhelmina... I want to hear this from you. Look into my eyes when you answer. Do you love me?" Michiru said, putting his face closer to hers.
Wilhelmina had no hesitance.
"I love you, Michiru." She said, looking deep into his eyes.
"I love you too, Wilhelmina." Michiru replied, staring keenly at his lover.
They embraced and kissed each other passionately at the same time. They carried on for a while before letting go. Wilhelmina wore a blush on her face that was unlike her.
"After all this is over, Wilhelmina, let's go cook again, together. I had a really enjoyable time with you the last time we did that." Michiru said softly.
Wilhelmina nodded. A tear slowly trickled out of her eye. Michiru wiped it away with his finger.
"Stop crying. I swore that I won't let you cry anymore." He said.
Wilhelmina stopped crying and broke into a smile. It was a smile filled with radiance and beauty. Michiru had never seen her smile like that before.
"Has anyone told you that you look really pretty when you smile?" Michiru said, smiling too.
Wilhelmina went pink. Michiru was like beer; he was making her drunk and unable to think clearly. She was beginning to behave in a way unlike her.
"Don't ever think that smiling isn't like you. A beautiful maid like you should wear your smile more." Michiru said.
"Enough." Wilhelmina said suddenly, hardening her voice. She needed to stop interacting with him immediately; she was afraid of what she would end up doing if she continued to let herself toyed by Michiru this way.
"Oh?"
"I am very tired. I want to rest. Please turn off the lights for me."
"As you wish, my dear."
Michiru left the bed and headed for the switch. Wilhelmina lay on the bed and covered her blanket. As it went dark, she felt someone climbing up the bed and lay beside her. She knew what was going on and her face went red quickly. She tried to jump out of the bed and scold Michiru, but he had quickly held her in place.
"What are you-"
"After all that crap you pulled off, you think I'd trust you again?"
For a moment, Wilhelmina had no idea what he was talking about. Then she realized that he was referring to her getting out of her bed and running away when she was supposed to rest.
"I will not repeat my mistake. I will rest-"
"I don't care."
Wilhelmina struggled, but was not able to break free. Did Michiru have a really strong grip, or was she becoming weak? She cursed Michiru for her weakness.
"Just let me hold you tonight, alright?" Michiru said, breathing into her face, causing her to stop, "I promise you I won't do anything disrespectful."
Wilhelmina blushed harder. She hoped that Michiru could not see her blushing in this darkness.
"Good night, my dear Wilhelmina. I love you." He said and kissed her cheek.
Silently, Wilhelmina shed another tear. She promised herself, that this will be the final tear she will ever shed.