A/N - I hope everyone is having a good holidays. I'm a little mrphed at Santa, as always. I asked for a naked Antivan crow or possibly an ex-templar for christmas. All I got was money from my grandma. Thanks Santa, could you just leave me chocolate instead next year so I have comfort food to cry with? Thanks! Well, I've been on a semi-vacation until my little monster protested about going to daycare when I got to stay home all day. I've found it rather difficult to do anything now since he's under foot and wants to help do EVERYTHING! You'd think he'd be busy with all of those games and movies Santa bought him... NO! He wants to help mommy play on her laptop. Sigh...
Anyway, We're slowly getting into the Awakenings part of the story. I haven't been able to play through that. I find it rather distrubing when I do try and someone goes to his room, grabs his wooden swords and shoves them down the back of his shirt. Its cute for the first hour he's trying to be like my warden, but when he starts attacking the TV with his swords trying to help kill darkspawn... that's where I draw the line.
Anyways... I'll have the characters, Oghren, Anders and Nathaniel... but I probably won't follow the idea of it. Does it really matter though, its mine story and i'll tell the way i want too...
BTW... I don't own anything, this is all Bioware's... /cry
Six months had past since the day Bella Theirin was born. Though only the close circle of people that Brandon trusted with the knowledge that Bella was a Theirin knew that, most people knew her as Bella, daughter to the Hero of Fereldan. Both Serene and Brandon didn't want it getting out that the baby was the last of the Theirins, it might cause unrest in the Bannorn or cause more stress on the pregnant queen.
Another reason Serene wanted her daughter away from the public eye was because of the moments of pure intelligence that Bella displayed. Bella was indeed an old god reborn and sometimes wished to speak with her mother. It had frightened both Serene and Zevran one night when the tot had cleared her throat and started an adult conversation with the two of them. It was only that one time she had a conversation with them, other times it was just bits of words trying to get what she wanted.
Bella had explained that she rather enjoyed being a child, though she had the power to accelerated her growth, she preferred to live as the maker intended her to. She also enjoyed how everyone would dote upon her so much, even more so that when she had in her old life. She would only speak from time to time to let them know what they needed to know or what she wanted.
There was one time that Bella spoke to Serene alone, she warned her about the next god wanting to be born. She wasn't sure how they would come to her, whether through the fade or somehow manipulate the taint to appear. Bella wasn't sure how the other gods would take to being in mortal form again, how badly they wanted to be free from the Darkspawn.
After their talk, Serene was a bit more cautious around everyone. She was afraid maybe the next god would do something that would force her to do something she wouldn't have any control over. Those that still stayed with her were precious to her and she didn't want to lose them.
Then there was one night, in her sleep, she appeared in a clearing with Bella. It was a beautiful day and the two of them had gone off together to enjoy the day. As she sat down to play with Bella, Serene heard someone walking towards them, crunching the grass under their feet. Serene turned quickly, hoping to see Alistair, but instead she saw a dark haired woman with golden eyes.
"Morrigan?" Serene asked as she moved to stand up. Morrigan nodded and gave Serene an oddly happy smile.
"I've finally found you, sister, and I see you're not alone." Morrigan said as she gestured to the infant in the grass. Serene smiled and hoisted Bella into her arms.
"This is Bella. Bella, this is one of my closest friends, Morrigan. She would be Aunt Morrigan if she stuck around long enough, but we won't go into that." Serene said. She tried to keep the bitterness out of the last part, but Morrigan winced all the same.
"I am sorry for that. It was an agreement I made with Brandon. Do you seriously think I would have stuck around by your side to see him dally around with her?" Morrigan asked. Serene sighed and shook her head. Then she noticed something in Morrigan's arms.
"Who is that?" Serene asked as she readjusted Bella on her hip. Morrigan smiled at the small infant in her arms and pulled him out for Serene to see him better.
"This is my son, Brand." Morrigan said. Serene looked the small boy over. The boy had his mother's dark hair, but everything else screamed Brandon. Serene gave Morrigan a curious look.
"Tis what you think, my friend. This is Brandon's son. I was not aware of your purpose or your pregnancy until a few months ago. My goal was to bear what you have already, sparing you from the death you were looking for." Morrigan explained.
"That's why Brandon wasn't shocked you disappeared after the archdemon's death?" Serene asked. She sat down and placed Bella in the grass. Morrigan following suit and watched as Bella took Brand into her arms and giggled.
"Yes, I promised that if he would lay with me, I would bare a child of the taint that would absorb the archdemon's soul and give it new life, sparing yours. Had I known that you were already the chosen vessel for the soul, I'm pretty sure I would have tricked Brandon into doing the same thing." Morrigan admitted shamefully. Serene shook her head and placed a hand on her friend's shoulder.
"I don't think I would have done things differently either. Well, I wouldn't have told Alistair about the baby until after the battle. I would have let him kill that asshole though. Don't be ashamed that you wanted something to remember Brandon by. I try to tell myself everyday that having Bella is enough." Serene pointed out. Morrigan uncharacteristically wrapped her arms around Serene and held her close.
"I would not have been able to endure the pain, had I gone through what you have. You are so much more stronger than Flemeth had thought. I admire you, sister. More than I've ever admired anything in my life." Morrigan admitted. Serene blushed slightly, both thrilled and embarrassed at what Morrigan had said.
"Why are you here now?" Serene asked.
"I've been trying to find you for some time. Your fade is well protected by your daughter. She seems to keep the bulk of your nightmares away. Did she do that during the blight?" Morrigan asked. Serene nodded.
"There were some she couldn't keep out, but most of the time she just manipulated my dreams to coincide with Alistair's." Serene answered. Morrigan looked at the small girl who was playing with her son.
"She apparently thought he was worth to be her father, a shame he proved her wrong." Morrigan said.
"I don't think he would have left, had he known about her. I would like to believe he would have stayed, grumbled under his breath about dealing with Loghain and dealt with it. Alistair always talked about having a family one day, if we could. Or at least adopting a baby to raise as our own if we couldn't." Serene said. She stopped and started to sob. Morrigan slowly patted her hand only Serene's head, trying to sooth her tears.
"We've all made mistakes my friend." Morrigan said. Serene pushed away slightly and shook her head.
"My mistake not only screwed up my life, but yours as well. If Alistair had taken the throne, you could have lived with Brandon, raised your baby with him as a family." Serene pointed out. Morrigan shrugged.
"I don't dwell on the 'could have beens' Serene. Do I wish that Brandon was with me when I had Brand, yes, but I must do what I must." Morrigan said. Serene sighed sadly and buried her face in Morrigan's chest.
"You are much stronger than I am." Serene said. Morrigan shook her head and pulled Serene's face up to look into her eyes.
"You are a powerful woman. You've done the impossible with so little given to you and still managed to survive. After the Blight, the Maker's purpose for you is merely a cake walk." Morrigan pointed out. Serene scoffed softly and shook her head.
"I had a hard enough time as it was giving a new life to one old god, I've got six more left and I've only got about thirty years to do it in. That seems a bit much for me to have them one at a time." Serene said.
"Perhaps you will have them in pairs or more." Morrigan pointed out and laughed as the face Serene gave her.
"Thinking of shooting more than one out of me is scaring, but three or more? No way, not on my own anyway." Serene said. Morrigan watched as Serene slipped into a depression.
"What is it, sister?" Morrigan asked. Serene sighed as she watched the two infants giggle together.
"What happens when I've had them all? Will I die and leave them here to fend for themselves, no better than my own mother? I want to see them grow up and maybe have children of their own one day. Its bad enough that Bella won't have her father for sometime, but I don't want her to lose me as well." Serene said.
"You will have to leave her eventually, with the taint flowing through you." Morrigan pointed out.
"I just wish I had a way to find out more. If there was a way I could bargain with the maker. Let me live out my life here in Thedas with my children and died when the calling comes." Serene said.
"I remember those idiots in the chantry saying that the maker can hear you. Didn't you once pray to him for a baby? Merely ask of him and he will hear you." Morrigan said.
"How will I know if he agrees though?" Serene asked. Morrigan shrugged and went to pick up Brand.
"There is something nearby, trying to nudge me out. I will find you again, if I can. Take care of yourself and your precious Bella." Morrigan said. Serene got to her feet and went to touch Morrigan when her eyes opened and she awoke.
Serene found herself alone in her bed. It was unusually cold and looked over to her left at where Zevran usually was. A single piece of paper sat on the pillow and Serene's hands trembled as she reached out for it. Somewhere inside, she knew it was his goodbye, that she had finally driven him away. She pulled her hand back, refusing to see what she had done to drive the assassin away.
"Good morning, Serene." A voice said from the other side of the bed. She turned her head to see a young man, maybe a bit older looking than her, standing by her bed.
"Who are you?" Serene snapped as she glared up at him. He smiled softly and he vaguely reminded her of how Bella looked in the fade when she first met her.
"I haven't a name yet, but I'm here to tell you, you must go to Orlais. Tonight, or it'll be too late." The man said.
"Who are you to tell me where I must go? If I'm going to be anywhere, I'll be heading to Amaranthine." Serene snapped. She got up from bed and moved towards the man, only to find herself going through him.
"Please, you must not delay this any further. I want to be born." The man insisted. Serene turned on her heel and gave him a look.
"You are the next god?" Serene asked. The man nodded.
"I will not accept anything but full blooded siblings to my sister." The man stated. Serene shook her head and laughed.
"I have things to attend to here in Fereldan. If you're so insistent that Alistair be your father, bother him about this. He doesn't have to rebuild the wardens here." Serene snapped. The man sighed sadly and shook his head.
"I can't speak to him as I can do to you. He wouldn't be able to see me. I've come to protect you because the veil is so thin around you. It won't be long before the demon's realize this and try to take you." He said. Serene rolled her eyes as she began to pack her things. She wanted to be ready to leave in the morning.
"I'll be fine. I've been able to handle demons before." Serene said.
"You don't have your templar here to protect you." The man snapped.
"Then I will find a new one." Serene yelled back. Both of them started growling at each other when a soft knock came to the door and then the door opened to reveal Brieanna.
"Serene, are you alright?" Brieanna asked softly. Serene shook her head and then sighed.
"How soon can you be ready to leave?" Serene asked as she walked over to the note on Zevran's side of the bed.
"In an hour if you like." Brieanna answered.
"I want to be in Amaranthine tomorrow, do you think we can make it?" Serene asked.
"We could be there before nightfall tonight and head up to the keep tomorrow if we leave before noon." Brieanna said, finally noticing that Zevran wasn't in the room with them.
"No, you need to head to Orlais." The man snapped. Serene whirled around and was nearly nose to nose with him.
"Unless you plan on making me turn into a bird, there's no way I will get to Orlais tonight. So shut up about it." Serene snapped. Brieanna took a step back, watching as Serene yelled at no one. She couldn't see the man that was speaking to Serene.
"I'll just go pack my things and get a servant to get supplies for our trip." Brieanna said quickly and fled from the room. Serene sighed sadly and pinched the bridge of her nose before sitting down on her bed.
"You have to realize, I'm not going to abandon what I have to do for these people." Serene said.
"You've done and given so much to them. Why not take this time for yourself. Rebuild the wardens in a year or so. Fereldan will not die without them a bit longer." The man said. Serene shook her head.
"Its a part of who I am. I have a job to do here. Alistair knows where I am and if he wants to come back, he will. I will forgive him everything and then we can have all you. If you want him to come back, why not mess with his dreams." Serene said.
"I don't have the powers that Bella has. We're all different in our own ways." The man said. Serene nodded and then started to pull at the bed coverings.
"What should I call you, since I'm sure you're going to be around for awhile?" Serene asked. The man shrugged.
"I have no been renamed yet, that is for you to chose." The man pointed out. Serene thought for a moment.
"If you're going to be Alistair's son, I guess he would insist you be named Duncan." Serene pointed out. The man nodded and smiled brightly.
"Duncan, I like that. Its much like how you named Bella. It means something to you and it'll make me more human than I once was. Now, about Orlais..." Duncan started but stopped when Serene gave him a look.
"I'm not changing my mind on that, Duncan. Perhaps when the wardens are rebuilt here in Fereldan and there's someone I can trust to take over, then I will go about Thedas looking for him. I am not a woman that will go hunting down the handsome prince and live happily ever after. There's no happy ending to this story so far." Serene pointed out.
"But the maker's purpose..." Duncan started again.
"Then the maker will bring him back when he sees fit or will have us cross paths. I've made my decision, Duncan and its final!" Serene snapped. Duncan suddenly disappeared and Brieanna stood in front of her, with Bella.
"Serene, are you sure you're alright?" Brieanna asked. Serene sighed sadly and nodded.
"Nothing to worry about. Lets just get out of here." Serene said as she grabbed her pack and pushed Brieanna out the door. On the bed was Zevran's letter:
Beloved Serene,
For so long I thought I could convince you that it is me that you should love and no one else. He doesn't deserve the loyalty of your heart, but it saddens me that you will never see this. I have fallen in love with you and to spare myself the pain of watching you love someone else, I must leave to tend to other matters. I hope in time my love for you will dull or that idiot will realize what he has left and come back on his hands and knees. I promise I will return to you one day, I just need to deal with the face you will never love me as I wish to be.
With all the love in my heart, I am you man. This I swear, forever.
Zevran