"Rachel, tell me: what's it like to have Shelby Corcoran as a mother?" Parker asked, once she, Rachel and Jesse parted ways with the rest of their group, and headed towards Shelby's apartment. Since Rachel had made it clear earlier that afternoon that she wasn't ready to discuss why she had gone home, Parker opted to address a subject that had bothered her since one particular afternoon back when she had been in high school and a tiny wisp of a thing had interrupted Vocal Adrenaline rehearsals to drop a bombshell on their show choir director. "And is she as terrifying off-hours as she is all the time?"
"You realize you're talking about Rachel's mother," Jesse reminded his friend.
"Just because you were her favorite doesn't mean she didn't terrify you." Parker retorted.
Rachel turned to glance expectantly at Jesse to gauge his response.
Jesse gave Rachel a wry smile. "She has a point."
Rachel rolled her eyes, and turned back to Parker. "Let me put it this way: this might be the longest period of time where Shelby and I have gotten along in the three or so years I've known her."
"Because she's a megabitch?" Parker asked, before stopping short and quickly glancing around, checking her surroundings.
Rachel watched her curiously.
"Ignore her." Jesse told Rachel. "Back in Carmel, Shelby was infamous for having eyes and ears everywhere. And saying her name tended to conjure her out of nowhere." He glanced at Parker. "Why are you paranoid? Shelby liked you."
"She doesn't like anybody." Parker remarked. She glanced at Rachel. "Except maybe you and her other kid. What's it like, being one of the two people Shelby likes?"
To be honest, Rachel couldn't say anything for certain, not when it came to Shelby. Yes, she had no doubt that Shelby cared about her, and was concerned for her welfare, but their history was spotty enough to make Rachel question just how much Shelby actually cared.
After all, so much of Shelby's choices when Rachel was concerned were suspect, when one considered she had intended to get around a clause in her contract with Rachel's dads regarding making contact with Rachel before she turned eighteen, and then chose to simply walk away when the relationship she'd wanted to have with Rachel didn't quite pan out the way she'd wanted it to. And then later on return to Lima to coach a rival glee club, pitting her team against Rachel's.
But then Shelby was also the same person who wrote a glowing recommendation letter for Rachel's college application that didn't even bear a single clue that the effusive praise went beyond a teacher and show choir director praising a talented individual in her midst. And when Rachel needed an adult figure in her life once she was in New York, Shelby insisted on a regular meeting so they could get to know each other better, and even offered Rachel a place to stay to ease her commute to and from school. Shelby took time out of her busy schedule to go with Rachel to attend the funeral of a boy she only knew as Rachel's ex-boyfriend, and protected Rachel from the emotional onslaught of returning to Lima.
"I didn't realize that was such a stumper," Parker said apologetically, when Rachel didn't provide an immediate response to her question.
Rachel looked up, and smiled back weakly. "It's just weird, when it comes to Shelby."
"Like the fact that you call her Shelby?" Parker supposed.
Rachel laughed weakly. "Like the fact that she keeps on saying she wants to have a relationship with me and then acts in complete contradiction to that. But she also turns right back around and provides support when I need it from her."
Parker paused, and then: "Because she's a megabitch even when she's being nice?"
Rachel couldn't help but laugh. "Not the words I'd use."
"You know she's not that bad." Jesse countered to Parker in defense of their former show choir director.
"I know she sent a jackass to figure out how she can get to know the kid she was a surrogate for," Parker stated bluntly. "And set you both up to fail because you know we're not allowed to date within Vocal Adrenaline."
Jesse grimaced, just as Rachel turned to look at him questioningly. "What?"
"I can explain." Jesse said quickly. Because, yes, what Parker had stated was true, but back then, he'd had a plan.
"Jesse." Parker clucked her tongue in gentle reprimand, knowing her friend too for far too long not to know that Jesse had some kind of machination happening at the time. "Did you really think Shelby would have let you get away with it?"
"We would have ruled show choir." Jesse argued. Which, yes, had been his defense if Shelby would have imposed her rule should Rachel have joined Vocal Adrenaline: because Shelby was a stickler about the rules she set, but she was also driven by a need to succeed.
"You keep pushing your luck but you've never won against her." Parker reminded.
"It was Rachel."
"Who's her kid, so pretty sure she would have made you join the castrati as a precaution."
"Rachel's persuasive."
"Rachel would have been a sophomore, she would've had no power whatsoever."
Jesse sighed, conceding to Parker's point. "Well, kind of a moot point now, isn't it?"
Rachel, who had been looking from one former Vocal Adrenaline member to the other, following the verbal volleying as much as she could, finally had to ask: "Vocal Adrenaline members don't date each other?"
"Not so much don't as much as can't," Parker informed her.
"Shelby thinks it's an unnecessary distraction." Jesse explained.
"Some people," Parker pointedly indicated Jesse, "find ways around that rule, not that his dalliances could be described as 'dating'. The Director only allowed it because nobody in VA sings like St. James."
"Aww." Jesse cooed, pretending to be affected by what Parker had said, and gave Parker a smile. "That's the nicest thing you've said about me all year."
"And for years to come." Parker retorted.
Rachel frowned at Jesse. "So when you tried to make me join Vocal Adrenaline…"
"I was working on a way around that rule." Jesse admitted.
"Such an asshole." Parker noted. She laughed when Jesse shot her a glare. "What? And have I mentioned how much I love the fact that you got knocked off your pedestal?"
"Repeatedly." Jesse said dryly.
"It bears repeating."
Rachel, for her part, was still stuck on the point about Vocal Adrenaline members not being allowed to date each other. "Why would dating within Vocal Adrenaline be a distraction?"
Parker and Jesse broke their glaring match to look at her.
"Other than the obvious?" Parker asked.
"The obvious?" Rachel echoed.
"Team dynamics get ruined when members of a team start dating." Parker pointed out.
"Not everyone can be front and center and get to shine at the same time." Jesse expounded for Rachel's benefit. "Not all couples can shine together."
"And even worse when couples break up." Parker continued.
"Loyalties, rare as it were, still get torn." Jesse elaborated. "And people take sides."
"That's not—" Rachel began.
"Plus, teenagers." Parker continued, barreling through Rachel's protest. "So there's the added extra layer of fickle decision making, and the teenage drama of hormones. So say what you will about Shelby Corcoran, but she kept Vocal Adrenaline a well-oiled machine."
Rachel turned to Jesse. "So when you wanted me to join…"
Jesse shrugged. "We would have been the strongest members, vocally. But that's not always the case."
That Jesse had learned tact in the years since his time in Vocal Adrenaline was probably the only reason he didn't bother pointing out the obvious example.
"Shelby was incredible in enforcing discipline." Parker admitted.
"Shelby got us dependent on protein bars and Red Bull, though." Jesse reminded his friend.
"And anxiety disorders amped up to 11," Parker agreed. She glanced at him. "Did you manage to get all your girls on the same cycle when you were director?"
Jesse frowned at her. "What?"
"I'm not saying Shelby had a hand in that feat of nature," Parker drawled, "but I'm pretty sure that was statistically impossible."
Rachel shook her head. "Now I think you're just making stuff up." She turned to Parker, gesturing towards Jesse. "Like that time you said you were mainlining coffee by IV."
Parker laughed. "That's not possible."
Rachel shot Jesse a look.
"But we did have emergency services on standby, with prepped IV bags." Parker continued. She turned to Jesse. "That was the year we tied with Aural Intensity at Regionals, right?"
"Because Aural Intensity ramped up their set with flips and jumps." Jesse explained to Rachel. "Shelby was not happy."
"Plus that Dirty Dancing lift." Parker added. She shook her head. "That was an amazing set, though." For Rachel's benefit, she added, "honestly, we would've understood if Aural Intensity made it to Nationals over us that year."
Jesse reluctantly nodded his agreement even as he added, "I still don't understand why she had to give Andrea the solo at Nationals."
"Aural Intensity expected you." Parker reminded. "They weren't ready for Andrea."
Jesse sulked.
Rachel furrowed her brow. "Why didn't you ever complain about the mistreatment?"
Both Jesse and Parker looked at her in incredulity.
"What mistreatment?" Jesse asked.
"That's what you sign on for." Parker answered. "People join Vocal Adrenaline for a reason. And we all know what happens in Vocal Adrenaline. Once you're in, VA is the important thing."
"No, now, see," Rachel stopped, and turned to face both of them, causing both Jesse and Parker to stop abruptly. Rachel pointed at Jesse. "He gets on my case about my loyalty to the New Directions. And now you're telling me Vocal Adrenaline is what's most important?"
Parker glanced at Jesse, and then back at Rachel. "Context?"
"I insist on the fact that she should prioritize herself over her former Glee Club." Jesse explained. "Rachel disagrees."
"The same Glee Club that stood by and let her nearly get married?" Parker asked.
Rachel stiffened.
Jesse gave Parker a wary glance.
Parker turned to Rachel. "You can't compare our experience with Vocal Adrenaline with your experience with the New Directions, Rachel."
"Why not?" Rachel questioned.
"We knew what we were signing up for." Parker motioned to herself and Jesse. "We signed on for the countless hours, the grueling rehearsals, the fact that we were signing over our lives for four years in exchange for a ticket out of Ohio. We can't complain when we knew exactly what we were getting into. Now, I don't know what you thought was going to happen when you joined Rhythm Explosion and the New Directions, but whatever it was, I'm pretty sure it wasn't to be almost rejected by the only college you applied for, which… not even a safety, Rachel?"
Rachel turned to Jesse. "Make her stop."
Jesse obediently turned to Parker. "Tell her about that time Shelby made you learn aerials."
Rachel turned to Parker in alarm. "Aerials?"
"Oh yes. I, and a few other members of Vocal Adrenaline, have a relationship with aerial silks because of your mother." Parker said dryly. "Thank God someone told the Show Choir committee and they ruled against aerials being allowed in competition, because—"
"Not that it stopped her from making you use it during one of our fundraisers." Jesse reminded, cutting Parker off.
Parker made a face at the reminder, and turned back to Rachel. "So, really: what's it like being blood-related to Shelby Corcoran? Is it an 80's coming of age story of a music prodigy and her mother figure teacher? Is it like a music lesson every minute of every damn day?"