This is the same chapter from a few hours ago re-uplaoded as I hadn't realised for some reason it uploaded without the paragraphs. Sorry.
Thank you to my readers old and new. I know this story lay untouched for almost two years but I am working to get if finished.
Thanks for all your great reviews and support. I know the spelling and grammar has been a huge issue in all my stories, I would just like to thank MNMeema who has taken on board helping me in that area in this story.
Chakotay looked at Sekey, but his sister just shook her head with the same look of concern written across her face. Cocohum stood slowly and began moving away from the two friends. He only met Kathryn briefly when she was staying with them six months ago; he worked frequently on the next planet back then, and hadn't really gotten to know the Admiral as much as he would have liked. Feeling this was a sibling thing, he made the choice to leave. Sekey watched him go but didn't call him back. She too was torn - should she stay for her brother? Or should she leave him and B'Elanna alone?
Chakotay took his friend in his strong, supporting arms and asked gently, "What do you mean, she's got no time?" His heart was pounding as the silence lingered on, and he feared the worst. Could this mean Kathryn was dying? Had he not noticed how ill she really was when last he saw her?
"She's not well," B'Elanna said as she sunk closer into Chakotay's arms.
Chakotay sighed and let the silence linger between them for quite some time before saying softly, "How bad is it?" He dreaded the answer, but equally dreaded not knowing.
B'Elanna met his eyes, taking his hand in hers. She smiled a little reassuring smile. "She's not been right since the accident. Even with all the operations, she won't ever be right."
Chakotay looked deep into his friend's eyes. He saw real sadness there and knew she was telling the truth. "What do you mean, not right?" As he asked this Sekey moved out of the room, joining her husband to give the two friends some space.
"Physically, she is okay," sighed B'Elanna, which left Chakotay slightly taken aback. "Kathryn's a fighter. She's had all the operations and is doing very well."
"But?" Chakotay urged. B'Elanna didn't come all the way out to Trebus to tell him Kathryn was doing well.
"But," shifted B'Elanna slowly, "she is broken." Staring deep into her dear friend's eyes, she knew he loved Kathryn. B'Elanna could see the deep love and sadness there. "She needs you, Chakotay."
Chakotay went to reply scornfully, but B'Elanna interrupted and insisted, "She's too damn proud to admit it."
Chakotay's heart softened. "I love her, B'Elanna," he said with honesty. "I always have." His eyes began to fill as he said softly, "I know she loves me, but she's always been too proud to admit it."
"What happened six months ago?" B'Elanna asked, sitting back in the chair and looking at her dear friend and 'older brother'.
Chakotay sat staring into nothingness for a while before he sighed and said truthfully ,"I don't know, B'Elanna. I just don't know."
B'Elanna was confused as she pried further, "Well, you must have fallen out over something." She knew the two had been talking a little, but B'Elanna never knew what made Kathryn end up on Earth, and he on Trebus...
"But… ," she continued slowly.
"I knew there was a but." Chakotay smiled, trying to reassure her.
"It comes at a price, Chakotay," she told him, tears rolling down her cheeks as she found herself unable to look at the man she loved with all her heart.
"What's wrong?" Chakotay asked softly as he rubbed Kathryn's back, her head bent over the toilet. He wasn't sure why she was thinking this way. Being able to walk properly again was a good thing; there shouldn't have been a but.
"Why are you sick?" he asked gently. "Are you getting enough water?" The desert landscape of Trebus was too hot for many of Earth's visitors, and Chakotay remembered from his days with her on Voyager that Kathryn dehydrated easily. Then again, that may have been all the coffee she drank.
"Yes," Kathryn replied between gasps for breath. "It's not that." Retching for what felt like the hundredth time, Kathryn fell back against the wall where she sat, convinced she knew what she had to do. She loved this man. She didn't want to leave him, but she knew it was the only way. Chakotay took her tiny trembling hand in his and was surprised by the force with which she grasped it. He went to stroke her hair but she instinctively pulled away with a slight flinch, and Chakotay's heart sank. She was still unsure about him after he hit her; could he really blame her?
Lowering the hand which he had intended to be gentle, Chakotay gave her a reassuring smile and said calmly, "What do you need?"
He remembered the first time he had seen her on Trebus. She had been sick then, too, and Chakotay was watching her enough to notice Kathryn was used to this; she wasn't surprised or caught off guard by her nausea. He realised she would best know what she needed. He would leave his questions until later when she wasn't throwing up in his toilet in the middle of the night, though it did concern him.
"Go," Kathryn managed to gasp out as she coughed and spluttered into the toilet basin.
Chakotay was caught off guard now. "Go where?" he asked, thinking she was telling him to go somewhere. "What do you need?"
Kathryn spluttered a little more into his toilet until she managed to force herself to her feet. "To go," she said again as she stood up with a little support from Chakotay. She met his eyes briefly, hoping she was sending him every ounce of love she had for him before she closed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, and said with every bit of determination her voice could muster, "I'm going to back to Earth on the transport tomorrow."
Knowing Chakotay was about to protest, her eyes shot open and she met his gaze with that glassed-over, 'iron maiden' command look he got form her far too many times on Voyager. In her deep, rich command tone she said simply, "I'm going, Chakotay, and you are staying here. End of discussion." With that she turned on her heels and walked back into his bedroom, closing the door behind her.
Chakotay would never barge in on her; he was a better man than that. He didn't even knock on the door. He simply sat awake the rest of the night on his sofa, many thoughts and a lot of worry rolling around in his head.
Chakotay didn't see her again until she emerged dressed in the clothes she arrived in, her small bag over her shoulder and a look of determination written on her face. She didn't look at him as she walked past, head held high as she moved toward his front door. But he was quick and slipped between her and the door, stopping her from leaving.
"Move," she hissed, refusing to look at him directly.
"Kathryn," Chakotay demanded, a hint of question in his voice.
"Don't do this. Please," Kathryn was almost begging.
Hearing the beginning of pain in her words, Chakotay stepped aside and let her walk away.
Bringing his thoughts back to the present, Chakotay looked at B'Elanna and shook his head, saying, "I don't think we fell out. We were finally back together." He shook his head in confusion and shrugged. "We were okay, then she was sick in the middle of the night, and then she was leaving." B'Elanna stared at him wide-eyed, which surprised Chakotay so he asked simply, "What?"
"You and she..." her voice trailed off.
"Me and Kathryn what?" asked Chakotay, suddenly feeling really confused.
B'Elanna was looking equally confused as she gasped at her friend, "You were back together?"
Chakotay was surprised, suddenly realising what he hadn't realised before. "She didn't tell you?" he asked calmly. Sitting back in his chair and growling, "The damn proud, infuriating little... " but then it was Chakotay's voice trailing off as he looked at B'Elanna, who was just staring at him. Chakotay thought maybe he should apologise, but he just didn't feel very sorry; Kathryn was both proud and infuriating.
"Well, she only said a little about what happened here," B'Elanna admitted, the shock still evident on her face. "She mentioned she found you in a cafe when she arrived." B'Elanna gave a small pause before adding truthfully, "On a date." Chakotay simply stared into space, his own emotions whizzing around his head. "With a lovely woman."
B'Elanna admitted what Kathryn told her, waiting for Chakotay to reply. When he didn't, B'Elanna said softly, "Kathryn said you and this woman split up while she was here, and she fears it was her fault. She never meant to end your relationship and happiness with this woman. That wasn't why she was here."
"I know," Chakotay growled, stiffly waiting for the onslaught from his friend that was about to come for his actions. When it didn't come, realisation fell across him as he said slowly, "She didn't tell you why Carissa and I broke up, did she?" His heart softened as tears filled his eyes, the same building.
"No," admitted B'Elanna, "just that you did while she was here."
Chakotay nodded and took a deep breath. He met his friend's eyes and said shamefully, "Carissa left me because I hit her in the street in front of everyone."
"What?" B'Elanna exclaimed. "You hit your girlfriend?" B'Elanna couldn't take it in. "Accidentally, right? A misunderstanding?" B'Elanna tried to justify what she was hearing, shocked and horrified. Chakotay just sat shaking his head. "Did Kathryn see it?" the disgusted and confused half Klingon exclaimed, realising why Kathryn would have left.
"No, B'Elanna, you don't understand," Chakotay said. Standing and turning his back on his friend, gut churning, guilt stinging his words, he said in a broken voice, "I hit her I hit Kathryn. I struck her clear across the face.", "What!" shrieked B'Elanna as she leapt to her feet. She spun Chakotay around to look at her, her Klingon anger rising. "You hit Kathryn?"
Somehow she expected her old calm friend to deny it. When he didn't, she shook her head and pounded her fists into his chest, hurling every kind of Klingon insult at him. He stood and let her berate him, for it was what he deserved and he knew it. Kathryn had been extremely forgiving.