As-Good-As-Stepmothers and Almost-Sons
Piper sat in the middle of the Queen's garden, her back resting against a small tree, not the beloved and famed apple tree, but one of the larger ones scattered among the flowers and sections of the garden. It was night, the stars shining above her like gems in the sky as she played a soft tune on her pipe. It wasn't anything alarming, nothing terribly sad either, it was actually quite an alluring tune…if one were a chipmunk or squirrel or other manner of small furry forest creature. She had been wanting to try this for a while now, to gather the animals once more, but she had to wait till the dead of night to do so, skulk around like a thief just to be able to practice her music.
She couldn't blame the residents of the castle. Whenever they saw her so much as gesture at her pipe or pick it up they would all get so silent and tense, as though expecting her to attack, or even hurry out of the room. It was ridiculous but she put up with it, for Snow. The last thing she wanted was to give the people enough cause to request that she be released from the castle. As though Snow or Charming, or even the Queen, would allow that to happen. But still, it wouldn't stop the residents from trying to leave themselves if they didn't feel safe with her around and all that would serve to do was upset Snow and it was just easier to wait till night to do this.
And it wasn't like she was going to be there much longer really. She was going to leave, soon, to try and find Rumpelstiltskin. Hopefully once he was with them again the Wicked Witch would be easier dealt with and she would be able to stay with him once more, visiting Snow frequently of course. She knew she'd have to leave soon to find him, she was getting agitated in the two months they'd been there, wanting to leave, wanting to go find him. Snow kept trying to distract her, to prolong her stay there. She could tell her cousin truly thought Rumpelstiltskin was dead and just didn't want her cousin to have to go out there and 'discover' that herself. Snow was trying to protect her from more heartbreak, but all she was really doing was making it worse for her being there.
The siren part of her wanted its chosen mate back, could practically feel he was still alive, and it wanted him back. Now.
Yet even then she doubted she'd be able to get Snow to allow her to leave for another week or so still. The witch had recently attacked Charming and a small group of the Merry Men when they'd gone out to scout. So her cousin was not in the best frame of mind, fretting over her husband. His arm had gotten badly cut near the shoulder from a fall, he was fine, but Snow refused to leave his side, tended to him at all hours. She doubted she'd be able to get Snow to let her go till Charming was healed up. And…she couldn't bring herself to do that to Snow, to request to leave and have her cousin here worried and fretting and anxious. She'd rather wait till Charming was in good form and could keep Snow in better spirits before she departed.
"Are they…dancing?" a voice asked behind her.
She didn't even flinch at the appearance of the voice. Even playing her pip and having the music in her ear, she could still hear others approaching.
She waited a moment longer, allowing the song to end and the small furry creatures that very much had been dancing a sort of little dance to her music scattered, before she looked at him, "They were."
Baelfire let out a whistle at that, shifting slightly as he watched the critters scamper away, "And you can do that to people too?"
"Make them do more than dance," she nodded.
"Why were you making them dance?"
She shrugged, "I thought, perhaps, it might entertain the children…if their parents are far enough away to not bear witness to me touching my pipe around their precious kiddies."
Bae let out a soft laugh at that, "Yeah…they don't seem to like you near them much. Can't say I blame them though, I mean…you DO have quite the reputation regarding kids."
Piper waved her hand, "Gross exaggeration, I assure you."
"So you're not planning to steal the kids away?"
Piper looked at him, her eyes almost narrowing, almost about to tell him harshly that she was not, when she saw him smirking a bit and realized he was teasing her, "No."
"So you're doing all this as a…a gift for the kids? I guess you really do have a soft spot for children."
"Something like that," she mused, looking off towards the shadows on the ground where the animals had gone, "Though there are only three children that hold more than a soft spot in my heart, Bae. One is in another realm, another does not know me any longer and…"
"And?" he started to frown, "The third?"
"Is not so much a child any longer," she gave him a meaningful look.
He nodded slowly at that, understanding it was him she was talking about, "Um…mind if I join you?" he nodded at the ground before her, which she gestured to him to take. He moved over, crossing his legs as he sat before her, falling quite as he studied her, "You know, a part of me forgets you're supposed to be half-siren," he told her after a long while, "A part of me looks at you, when you're talking to Snow, and I just keep thinking that you're her cousin. The cousin of Snow White and…I wonder how the hell you fell in with my dad. And then, other times, you do something like this," he nodded to the side vaguely, "And I remember you're not just Snow's cousin, you're the Pied Piper and it's not a surprise at all that you managed to ensnare my dad. And I wonder how the hell anyone in this castle could trust you," he let out a long breath, "I feel like…I don't know you at all."
"You do not," Piper shrugged, "I…am not sure even I know who I am any longer."
"What do you mean?" he frowned at that.
"Sirens thrive on family, as much as, perhaps more than, humans do," she explained, "To be without them, to lose them…it is as though I lose a part of myself, as though a part has been hollowed out and filled with concrete. I have but six people in my life I count as family. Emma, Henry, Snow, of course, August…and you and Rummy," she shook her head, "Now I have but Snow."
"You have me too," Bae offered.
Piper smiled smally, almost bitterly, "I very much doubt that Bae. This is…the first time in months you have spoken to me alone."
"Yeah," he winced, embarrassed by that, by the fact that she'd realized he'd been avoiding her, "Sorry about that."
"I understand," she tried to reassure him, "I am…not what you would have wished for in a stepmother though…" she gave a dark chuckle, "I am sure I live up to our worlds standards for a typical 'wicked stepmother.'"
"I think August would disagree with you about that," Bae frowned, "He loved you. A lot."
Piper looked over at him, falling silent as she studied him, "He…mentioned me?"
"Not exactly who you were," Bae replied, "But…he did."
"I wish I knew why he never mentioned that he had found you or Emma," she let her head thump back on the tree.
Bae almost smiled at that, she looked so…normal like that, sitting outside, at night, against a tree, just…talking. She looked so normal and…tired, she looked her age now, she looked like a mother and a…well, a human. There was always this…oddness, about Piper, this feel she gave off that had others on edge around her. He doubted she was even aware that she did it, it was probably in the way she carried herself, her expressions, her tone of voice when she spoke. What was normal for her gave everyone the feel that she was cold and distant. But he was trying to look past it, and right now he could.
He'd been watching her, ever since they'd come back to the Forest. At first he'd tried to convince himself that it was to avoid her. To know where she was so that he wouldn't be around when she was. But the more time that passed, the more he found himself studying her, curious about the woman that both the Dark One and Snow White, the greatest icons of both dark and light, could care for. He'd wanted to know what it was about her that had both trusting her so much. The more he saw, the more he felt like he was able to see the person that Snow claimed she used to be, the human being beneath the 'villain' his father loved. He had seen her comforting Snow just earlier that day, walking with the woman and reassuring her that Charming would heal fine, Snow had apparently been having nightmares about her husband getting injured. Charming had been confined to the healing rooms, rooms fit for no more than one person, and no one was going to let Snow White sleep in a chair for weeks to come.
Snow had been having nightmares and no one knew, except Piper. The cousins had been roomed close to each other, Piper was always the first to hear her cousin screaming and crying and would rush to her side to comfort her, stayed with her and hummed lullabies to soothe her. Snow had been thanking her for it when he'd spotted them before. Hearing her care for her cousin, hearing the actual CARE in her voice as she spoke to Snow, it had made him finally decide to seek her out…to talk. This woman had been very important to his father and, with the man likely dead, he owed it to him to be a comfort to the woman that probably was as good as his wife in the end. Not that Piper seemed to need comforting on that front, she seemed in firm denial that Rumpelstiltskin was dead.
"I asked him not to," he told her after another moment of silence, not sure if he should tell her that or not.
"What?" she frowned at him.
"I didn't know who you were," he defended quickly, "I didn't know you were Emma's…aunt," he really had no idea what Piper was exactly to Emma, the technical term, but everyone seemed to go along with the title of 'aunt,' "I didn't know you were her actual family. I just…August told me that he was travelling with a woman that was close to my father and…that was all I needed to know. I didn't want him to find me and I thought…"
"That I would force you to go back to him once we found Storybrooke?" Piper guessed.
"Yeah," he sighed, "I just thought that anyone that my dad took up with couldn't be a good person. August punched me for that," he chuckled lightly, rubbing the side of his chin, actually feeling pleased when he saw Piper smile at that as well, "He said that you had raised him, that you were a wonderful mother, that you'd be good to Emma as well. But…" he shook his head, "I didn't want to risk Emma with anyone associated with my dad. I told him that I would only help him get Emma away from me if he swore not to tell you about me or her."
"Oh Key," Piper muttered under her breath, "The ONE time he honors a promise…"
"He…he said he wasn't going to tell you about Emma anyway," Bae continued, making her frown once more, "Yeah, that's what I thought too, especially when he told me about the Curse and how Emma was the only one that could break it. I thought, for sure, he'd tell you so you could bring Emma off to break the curse."
"Why?" she whispered, she hated learning that August had kept more secrets from her than she thought.
"You know that what I asked Emma to do got her landed in jail right?" Bae gave her a look, "The life the two of us were living?" he shook his head, "August didn't want you to know that Emma had ended up like that. He felt…SO guilty that he left Emma when he did, that he didn't stay to keep her safe and protected and teach her about the Curse and our world. I guess he knew how important she was to you and he didn't want you to know that your 'niece' had become a petty criminal. He didn't want you to see the woman Emma had become, stealing things and breaking in places, she was…hard to get to open up and trust and believe and…" he shrugged, "It would have been hard for you to see the woman her life had made her into. She wasn't in a good place and he wanted to spare you seeing that. Something about feeling like a failure."
She wasn't sure if he meant that August had felt like a failure and didn't want her to be disappointed in him or blame him…or if he meant August had wanted to prevent HER from feeling like a failure that she hadn't found Emma before that and saved her from that fate.
Knowing her son, it was likely both.
"He should have told me," she sighed.
"I agree," Bae surprised her by agreeing, "Knowing what I know now…it would have been good for her. You…you would have been a good mother to her."
Piper blinked at that, "You believe that?"
"I do," he nodded, "And…you probably wouldn't have been a terrible stepmother either," he attempted a tease.
"Oh you have my many thanks," she rolled her eyes at him, though she smiled.
"See," he shook his head, pointing at her, "There it is. I can't see you as a siren when you do that, when you joke and tease, I mean…aren't they supposed to be like seductive and cruel? How did you…" he cut off quickly.
"How did I what?" she eyed him.
"How did you happen?" he asked her quietly, "I just…Snow White's father, his brother is your father. How did he end up with a siren?"
Piper was quiet a long while, "My father was…not well, once," she began slowly, about to tell him something only Rumpelstiltskin and Snow knew about her father, "He…sought out the Sirens when he was in a dark place. He wished for them to drown him."
"He wanted them to kill him?!" Bae looked horrified and rightly so, it was a horrific thought.
"He did not want to appear weak in attempting it any other way," Piper looked up at the stars, "He thought that any could fall to a Siren's charms, and it would be a mere tragedy instead of a travesty," she started to smile a bit though the more she thought about it, "My mother was the Siren he came across. She refused to do it."
"Why?" Bae frowned, "I mean," he added quickly, "I mean, why would she refuse to when that's what Sirens do?"
"She said it was not a challenge if he was too compliant," Piper shrugged, recalling her mother's words, "And if it was not a challenge then it was not worth the effort. He came back every night, trying to change her mind. I think the allure of the Siren might have caught him upon seeing my mother, he did not seek out other Sirens after that to ask THEM help, but kept returning to my mother. She kept sending him away, but he kept coming back. Stubborn he was," she murmured, before shaking her head to focus, "Eventually she asked why he was so keen to see such a fate bestowed on him and…they started speaking. And then…it did not become nightly visits to plead for death but merely to talk. Slowly, my mother started to grow fond of his song, of him, and he of her. Until they realized it had grown to love. He requested her hand, even knowing it would mean leaving her family…and she accepted. By then she had already begun to see him as a potential mate and would not be parted from him."
"That's…quite fairytale," he tried to joke.
"Ironic as well," Piper smiled, "The one he sought to end his life, became the one that saved it."
"That's beautiful," even he could admit that it was a beautiful tale. But…the more he thought about that, about what it meant to have a Siren for a mother, the more another question that had been burning in his mind came up, "What was your mother like?"
His father, at first, had been the greatest one in the world, even if he was a bit timid and cowardly at times, simpering would be the word he'd use. But he couldn't deny his father loved him unconditionally. It wasn't till he'd gotten that Dagger that he'd started to change, grow arrogant, cruel, ruthless…to others, never to him, but still…to bear that as a child…
"She was my mother," Piper gave him an odd look, "I know not what you mean to ask."
"Was she…" he sighed, "Was she like…my father?"
"Did she love me with all her heart, you mean?" she was challenging him now and he knew he'd just walked into a trap, "Would she give her life to see mine protected? Would she cut down every enemy in her path to keep me safe? Yes. She did, on all counts."
Bae looked down at that, almost ashamed he'd asked that, knowing it likely came across that he'd been trying to make his father out to be worse than he was.
"Sirens are protective and possessive creatures, Bae," Piper continued, "When we love, we love with everything in us. We protect those important to us with everything we have, even our own lives. Snow, Emma, Henry, August, Rummy, and you, I would lay down my life to keep safe. Nothing would stop me from killing anything that tried to harm you. To try and attack a Siren's clan is to have a death wish, that is how seriously we care for those close to us and those we carry in our hearts."
Bae stared at her quite a long time, but she didn't look away, she held his gaze, making sure he understood just how serious she was being in her words. The instinct of a siren could be…dangerous to awaken depending on what instinct it was. And being half-human almost made it worse, because she could feel emotions more than Sirens could, she had a harder time holding other emotions back…which made her temper and protectiveness even more fierce.
"You…" Bae cleared his throat, hoping she didn't hear the crack in it, "You really…you mean that? You…you care about ME that much?"
"Bae," her voice grew softer at that, as did her gaze, "You have no idea the number of stories Rummy told me of you, both here and in Storybrooke. You held a place in my heart long before I even met you, long before Emma was even a twinkle in Snow's eye, long before Henry or August came along into my life. Of course I mean that. I came to think of you as…as my son decades ago and that never faded, not even when I met you," she tried to tease back, making him flush and look away as he recalled his reaction to seeing his father and learning who she was.
"I just…" he shifted, "I didn't think…"
"Take as long as you need to speak Bae," she offered, seeing him struggling to find the words and thoughts, "We have the night and…and any time you wish after that."
He nodded, taking a minute or two before he drew in a deep breath, looking down at the ground, reaching out to absently pick a blade of grass, one after the other, "I didn't think it was possible for someone to love a child that much."
"A parent's love is infinite," Piper frowned at that, "It is one of the greatest forces of love in existence."
"I know," he nodded, still not looking at her, "I just…I guess I didn't think it was possible for someone to love ME that much."
"Bae…" she breathed, understanding this was…this was important, this was a moment, this was a moment that only THEY would share, they had both opened up, they were sharing things that were important with each other and…it gave her hope that she and Bae could one day look at each other as family (though she already looked at him as that).
"I mean," he started picking more of the grass, starting to tear it into little pieces, "My mother walked out, went off with a pirate and just…left me. And she would have known I'd want to go with her, adventure and all, what little boy wouldn't want that? But she left me. She left me and papa alone. And then papa went and became the Dark One and I know, I KNOW, it was to protect me from the Ogre Wars, that it was his love that led him to accept the curse in the first place. But…it wasn't strong enough for him to pick ME over his power when it counted. And then Emma," he threw the pieces of grass on the ground, not looking up at her, "Emma was…everything to me and…I tried to do right by her, like…like my parents didn't me, I tried to get her back to her family because they were good people that would love her and she deserved that. I tried to give her her life back, a life before me. If I'd known who she was I wouldn't have gone near her, I wouldn't have let her get attached to me or me to her, I wouldn't have been the thing holding her back from her family. And I did it wrong, I screwed up, royally, and she hated me. As much as she might say she loved me and never stopped…I was dead for what? A day or two and she was already kissing Hook," he scoffed in bitter hurt, "Yeah, she loved me," that was what hurt the most, that she said she loved him just before he fell in a portal…and then kissed someone else days later, it made it hard to believe she loved him at all, "And Tamara?" he shook his head, "She was using me the entire time…I just…my whole life, everyone that ever claimed to love me and…what is wrong we me that no one really does?"
Piper shifted away from the tree and over to Bae, moving onto her knees before him, reaching out to lift his chin, making him look in her eyes, her heart breaking to see the tears in his eyes she knew he'd deny vehemently were there, "I love you Bae," she told him, "I have loved you since the moment Rummy spoke of you, with such fondness and love and regret. I am not Milah, I do not walk out on those I care for, certainly not my child. Had Rummy not ripped her heart out and crushed it, I would have devised a much more heinous manner for her to die in. Rummy…he made a mistake, but unlike your mother, he has spent his entire life, centuries of it, trying to find a way to make it up to you, to return to you, that devotion and love cannot be faked. He DOES love you Bae, more than I do, and that is truly a powerful love…" he tried to look away but Piper lifted his chin back to look at her, "Emma…was young, and she felt betrayed, she is…more like me than she or Snow would care to admit, Sirens do not and cannot forgive what we perceive as betrayal unless rather extreme amends are made, revenge being one…" she left the idea to linger that, perhaps, Emma's way of coping with his original 'betrayal' had been to kiss Hook, that perhaps it was a form of revenge that had allowed her to heal, it was a stretch and, even she could admit, not quite likely, but it was possible, "As for Tamara…" she narrowed her eyes at the mention of the woman's name, "She is not worth your grief, plots of murder, perhaps, but not your grief. Do not let your worthiness for love be measured by someone like Tamara."
She waited a moment, making sure that Bae was absorbing all she was saying, "I love you as though you were my son, Baelfire, and a Siren's love is hard to lose."
"How hard?" he mumbled, his voice thick but he refused to let it crack. He just…he needed to know what he could possibly do that would drive this woman to not-love him anymore. Because he didn't think he could bear that to happen, another person who said they cared for him proving him wrong.
"Hmm…" she hummed, letting go of his chin and moving back towards the tree to sit back down, a small smile on her face, "Do you plan to separate me from Rummy or Snow? Do you plan to harm them?"
"What?" he blinked.
"Rummy is my chosen mate, my true love, while Snow is my cousin, my sister in my heart," she explained, "Should you try to separate us, say…kill him, or tear me away from my blood-family, it would not be good. Sirens, as I said, are possessive, we do not do well with separation, especially not when our hand is forced. We may choose to part from one, but only on our own terms, but to be forced between one or the other is not a good position to be in," it was one reason, a very small one, why Rumpelstiltskin had never forced her to pick between him or Snow White before the Curse had been cast, he understood Snow's importance in her life and would not have stopped her should she wish to alert her cousin to her being alive, he even encouraged her to at times. He left the choice to her and gave her freedom to go between them if she chose it, but she had chosen to stay with him, to protect Snow, "Rummy and Snow are important to me, so long as you do nothing to harm them or keep me from them…I can think of nothing you could possibly do that would cause me to find you in my ill-favor."
"Really?" he breathed, "That's it? I just…don't hurt my dad, which…which I wouldn't, not now, or Snow who, again, I wouldn't because she's Emma's mother…and…and you won't…"
She nodded, "I am afraid it means you shall be forced to endure the love of your stepmother to the end of your days," she shrugged, "My apologies for the burden."
Bae just laughed at that, the terms were so simple. He had no plans to ever hurt his father again and there was no reason at all to hurt Snow White. As for the separation, he'd seen how important Piper was to both of them so why would he forbid her to be away from them? Would he even have the power or ability to do so? No.
"It's a necessary evil, I guess," he smiled widely at that just…so relieved. It felt like there were so many things that he'd done wrong before, that had made other people pick things over him, that had made them turn their back on him. Sometimes it felt like just BEING him had been what caused others to leave him behind. To know that Piper wouldn't ever do that, that there was literally nothing he could do, besides something he wouldn't do to begin with, that would turn her love to hate was…a relief.
"I um…I've never really had a mother," he began, his memories of Milah were vague at best.
"Are you not too old to need a mother?" she teased slightly.
"No," he answered, nodding his head as though deciding that, "No I'm not. I…I think I'm long overdue one, actually."
"Well then, shall we make it official?" she asked.
He looked at her, almost confused by that, by how it could be any more official than his father having given her his Dagger and her choosing the Dark One as a mate…when he saw her just open her arms. He laughed at that but got up on his knees, shuffling over and…well, rather awkwardly, and a bit hesitantly…hugged her. But it was good, it wasn't perfect, and…that actually made it better.
Because they'd have all the time in the world to get the hug right.
"Now," Piper continued when he pulled back, "As your official stepm…"
"Mother," he cut in, his voice almost a whisper, "Just…um…I don't…I don't think we need the 'step' in there," he looked down at the grass again, picking at it in nerves, "Like I said, I've never really had A mother to start with…"
Piper smiled at that, her heart warming at the acceptance Bae was giving her, "Well," she cleared her throat from the emotion in it, "As your…mother," she smiled wider, "I am allowing you to stay up past your bedtime."
"What?" Bae laughed at that, at how ridiculous it was for her to say that, he was a grown man! But…at the same time…unable to help the bubble inside him at the normal sort of imposition a parent could put on their child.
Piper just pointed up, "Would you care to join me enjoying the stars?"
"Yeah," he nodded, moving to sit beside her, his shoulder against hers, "I would."
Piper's smile never left her face the rest of the night as she and Baelfire looked up at the stars, exchanging small tales about them, about watching the stars with others sometimes…till Bae drifted off to sleep. Piper's smile grew even wider when he began to slump in slumber till he ended up on his back, his head in her lap, lightly snoring, the fact he was comfortable enough around her to sleep so easily meaning the world to her.
"Rest well, Baelfire," she murmured, lightly stroking his hair, something she had done with August when he'd been but a boy, "You shall always be safe with me…son."
A/N: This chapter was bittersweet to write. I couldn't let Neal go just yet, but at the same time it hurt to write this bonding moment, knowing what was coming for Piper and Neal in the future :( Still I think they deserved a moment to talk about quite a few things :) I hope Neal wasn't too OOC in coming to accept Piper as a mother-figure. I feel like with how many women in his life 'betrayed' him and with being so young when Milah left, that he'd really just want, maybe even be secretly desperate, for just one woman to love him and not leave him later.
I hope I didn't kill any of you too badly with that last line though }:)
Some notes on reviews...
Oh the monster line was done with Season 4 very much in mind ;) We might see Henry even if Emma was raised with Piper :) The curse was rather specific with 28 years to wait and they'd need a way to get to Storybrooke and a reason to go there, which could still be Henry ;) I could see Piper being a supportive 'mom' where, if her child was pregnant she would be very calm and discuss options (including keeping the baby, really REALLY wanting to keep the baby) with Emma, but respect what Emma decided to do, whether to keep it or put it up for adoption...though she would be very, very sad and disappointed that the child would be given to someone else, being a siren she wouldn't want her family separated. But as this isn't the Enchanted Forest, she can't use 'being a siren' as a reason to have Emma keep the baby if Emma felt she wasn't in a good place to raise a child. At that point, Piper would be dealing with 3 children not counting the baby and Emma might feel overwhelmed by being the Savior and wanting to focus on breaking the curse first. As Piper said to Snow, she was there to do the hard decisions for her, to handle the burdens Snow couldn't as a ruler, to make the call for one life over thousands. Emma might feel that same way, focus her attention on breaking a curse to save an entire realm worth of people, or have to jeopardize that for one person, even if it's her son (even if there WOULD be ways to do both, but she's 18 so maybe not thinking that clearly). Or they might keep Henry and he decides to run away one day and just so happens to end up in Storybrooke and realizes it for what it is ;) There are many ways it could go ;) There might be quite a few more tearful moments to come }:)
Very true, Gold and Piper would need another Siren or to train their child, if they can hear songs, to be able to work out if they're soulmates :) Though the Sirens might not be too keen to help after Piper's last few encounters with them lol, and the less siren-blood the baby has it might mean the less siren-abilities it would have. Tricky, tricky situation }:) Piper's father will become very disillusioned of Blue and may even go so far as to try and warn/advise Leopold and Eva not to accept Blue's advice/help, but I won't say why just yet ;)