It was a few weeks later by which time the Gardner's has gone and came again, The purpose in this visit was to plan for the wedding.

"I always liked roses." Anne suggested sweetly. "Pink ones."

"Roses are too common place, everyone expects roses." Aline complained. "And pink? Why would you want a cross bred?"

"well, what about lilies?" Anne asked.

"They are a death flower." Aline almost snorted "Honestly Royal." She huffed, "Have you not taught your fiancée anything."

"Aline." He started "I really don't think its important what flowers…."

"Mother would not like it." She said her nose in the air "Orchids would please mother." She said pointily. This seemed to silence Roy whose eyes went wide to Anne.

Gilbert watched as the light in Anne's eyes disappeared, not for the first time in their presence.

"Anne?" Roy started "If mummy would like it…" he said then hopefully looked at her. Gilbert was willing her to refuse the request. Anne although liked all flowers, always said to him that Orchids had a superiority complex, and Anne always loved the underdog.

But his heart dropped when she said "if its really that important…"

She could feel Gilbert's gaze on her and she knew he would be disappointed in her. Her mind barely registered the joy on Roy's face. "Mother will be pleased." He told Anne sweetly.

"Speaking of which..," Bertha said "When is your mother arriving for the wedding?"

"Oh.." Roy started "well you see…"

"Mother is quite too ill to be moved." Aline announced. "You see she is in Spain in one of our properties there. She simply can't make it back."

"And the wedding of her only son won't make her come back?" Gilbert asked confused.

"No." Aline said shortly.

Gilbert again looked to Anne whose face was completely neutral but he could see it, her eyes were become more and more expressionless. There was no hint of green in them, no playfulness, just a dull grey. He'd never seen them quite so plain coloured before.

"And you see sweetheart that's where our honeymoon comes into play." Roy said.

"Our honeymoon?" Anne asked.

"Well mummy would like to meet you so very much I want to take you there to meet her."

"T… to Spain?" Anne asked with wide eyes. Gilbert looked to Anne who looked terrified, to meeting Roy's mother on her own in a foreign country seemed terrifying to her, but again Anne just mutely nodded.

"It would just be a month or two, you know until mama felt well enough to come home."

'a month or two!' Gilbert thought his heart racing for Anne, if her heart was racing he couldn't tell, but he felt it ought to be, instead she just nodded.

"Good, good, now onto the dress." Aline said her nose turning up again. "The dressmakers will need your measurements, not that there's much to you, we'll need to do something to make you look more fertile, now the dress itself..."

"Actually, I was hoping to wear my mother's dress." Anne admitted.

"Oh!" Roy said with a smile. "A family piece!"

"What colour is it?" Aline asked.

"Well it's a creamy…" Anne started with a smile.

"Its better seen that she is up to date and fashionable she will be better off in white." She said shortly. Aline looked up to Roy with her nose upturned "Mother would agree with me." She stated.

"What does it matter if she's not going to be here?" Gilbert burst. If Anne was dulled down enough by this crushing family, he wasn't going to be.

"Mother would know and disapprove." Aline's stated.

Roy opened his mouth as if to speak but then seemed to breath out himself.

"Its alright." Anne said sweetly. "its okay."

Bertha looked sadly. Not because of the dress (Anne could wear whatever she wanted) but because Anne had always wanted to wear her wedding dress.

When I get married mama, I'm going to wear your wedding dress!" A little seven-year-old Anne swung round with Gilbert in her mother's bedroom "its so pretty and eloquent!" she emphasized.

Married?!" Bertha had exclaimed. "and who will you be marrying?"

Anne looked to Gilbert "You'll marry me, won't you?" she said with a giggle.

"well if have to marry a girl..." He said half mocking he looked to Anne and seemed to soften a little "Course I'll marry you Nan." He said.

Bertha's eyes flicked to Gilbert who had left the room. She followed him out and caught up to him.

"Gilbert?" she said finding him in the small room Walter used to use as a study. He sat on a tiny sofa which was in there. She was surprised when his eyes flicked up slightly panicked in them tears were brimming, his eyes relaxed upon resting on Bertha. "Gilbert!" she exclaimed quietly shutting the door behind her and sitting next to him. "Gilbert." She whispered putting her hand on his knee.

"I've lost her." He whispered quietly. "I… I thought I've lost her before but this time its real…" She nodded and he looked at Bertha "…because she's lost herself." Bertha's hand moved round Gilbert's shoulder allowing his head to rest on her shoulder as he continued to cry silently. "Does it always hurt?" he asked.

"Does what always hurt?" she asked him as he came up off her shoulder.

"Love." He said quietly.

Bertha sighed. "When its taken away from you, yes, always."

He took a breath and wiped his eyes. "How did you get over Walter?" he asked her.

She looked to him quite seriously "What makes you think I'm over him?" she asked him.

"Look at you, you're breathing, you can think and talk and eat and sleep." He said to her.

"I do those things because I have to." She said with a shrug. "I don't think…" she trailed quietly "…I won't ever be over Walter." She told him.

"Thanks." He said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Sorry." She said gently. There was silence between them for a moment. "Help her Gil." Bertha said to him. "You're right, she's lost. And I think, you are the one person in the world who can help her find her way back again." She sighed "oh my sweet boy! " Bertha said empathetically. "I'm so sorry sweet boy."

"I miss her." He said quietly. "... But she's right there but she's not... He dulls her. " he said.

"I know."

There was a few moments of silence between the two, as Gilbert pulled himself together, and he said "come on we better go back in. "

"Of course white won't go with your complexion very well, you'll just look like a ghost, do you tan?" Aline asked Anne.

"No." Anne replied suddenly holding her arms self-consciously.

"Emm," Aline said, "Well need to see what we can do, pale and sickly just doesn't bode well in a bride." There was silence before Aline returned to her list in hand and not looking at Anne said "Oh and we'll need to do something with your hair."

"Don't you think it would look pretty…" Anne started.

"No, I don't mean the style." She said her nose waiving again. "I suppose there is little we can do if any off spring are born with it but you might as well look civilised, we'll dye it brown?"

Bertha's eyes widened quickly while Gilbert hand hit against the door beside him made everyone in the room jump "No!" he objected. "You touch one hair on her head and you'll have me to answer to!"

There was a blind silence for a moment before Roy said gently. "Gilbert is right Aline, that is way out of line, hair dye is quite permanent and you don't really know what colour you end up with."

"You can't want a red-haired bride." Aline told her brother.

"I'd want Anne as my bride even if she had green hair." Roy told her. "You've demanded different flowers a different dress you're thinking of a way round her pale skin, you're having quite enough your own way Aline." He said carefully.

"Excuse me." Anne said quietly. She got up and left the room.

Gilbert paused for a moment resisting the urge to follow. Surely Roy would. He would see he would know, but after a few seconds had past and Aline was now droning on and there was no sign of Roy moving Gilbert slipped out the room he ran upstairs to her bedroom to find it empty. His heart skipped a moment at the thought he didn't know where Anne was. Bertha was close to behind her.

"She's not here." He said slightly panicked.

"You know where to find her." Bertha said. "Go."

"Will you always know where to find me?" She asked him as he approached. He didn't even know if she would have heard him, she made no indication of being aware of him until she said it. He sat next to her, his legs like hers was dangling over the side of bridge.

"Sadness makes you think of tears, tears make you think of water…" he sighed and put his arm around her.

"I'm ugly." She whined into him.

"That's not true." He whispered back to her.

"I'm too skinny…" she started.

"Slender, your slender, just because your body isn't bursting out of your corset it doesn't make you skinny…"

"and pale…"

"You have porcelain skin. Historically its more fashionable then brown skin anyway. Think Queen Elizabeth, bet she didn't tan either, Van Gogh, Lady Godiva, William Blake… "

"I don't suit white, what bride doesn't suit white?"

"And what kind of person doesn't let a girl wear her mother's wedding dress on her wedding day if that is what she wants?" He said gently to her but sternly in subject. "If you want my opinion Miss Shirley if you can't wear a certain colour it is far less of a flaw than meddling in someone else's wedding day!"

"I can't wear pink either." She said miserably. "Its always made me sad but its true. I look all pink and red like a pig." She said breaking onto sobs again. He held her with both arms shushing her gently and stroking her hair. Before she came up and looked at him. "Bet I'm pretty as a picture now too?"

"You always have and always will be the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on." He told her seriously but trying not to sound too sentimental as he brushed the tears away from her.

She looked at him with wide eyes "Really?"

"Um." He said swallowing. "I thought it the first time I lay my eyes on you."

She scoffed and laughed. "You were two." She said as they stood. "You can't seriously remember." She told him.

"I can." He said putting his arm around her (automatically) as they walked.

When they eventually came into view of Anne's house where Gilbert suddenly realised where his arm had been, he quickly moved it in time for Roy making a quick by line for Anne.

"Sweetheart, you disappeared." He said sliding himself beside her putting his arm around her. "You've been crying." He said gently.

"Its nothing really." She said gently.

"You're overwhelmed that's all." He said gently. Gilbert fell back behind them where Bertha met him.

Gilbert wanted to get mad how dare he tell her what she was feeling? What did he know? clearly he didn't, mere guessing at her emotions.

"It took him half an hour to realise she was gone." Bertha said shaking her head.

"To be fair to him…" Gilbert trailed, "His sister is planning his wedding for him." With a grin to Bertha which made her laugh.