Chapter 38 :
Valentine's day :
Today was the most romantic day of the year, well at least it was for Maura.
Despite having the support of their parents who were more than happy to baby sit little Louis when ever they needed adjusting to Jane's return to work wasn't as easy as they thought it would be.
Jane had made drastic changes and efforts since day one to be home at more reasonable hours and not to work on weeks and so far was keeping her engagements and was a devoted and present wife and mother.
The thing Maura and Jane had not foreseen was the psychological effects going back to work would have on Jane and the consequences it would have on their sex life.
All her carrer Jane had struggled to be accepted by the guys in her team and had made it her personal mission to surround herself with a brick wall and to keep her emotions for herself. She wanted to prove she was though enough to work homicide and for the past 10 years had succeeded. Even after being kidnapped by Hoyt and being dramatically damaged by what he had done to her Jane had managed to continue working and had somehow rose from her ashes like a phoenix and built an armor around her heart.
She had decided that neither Hoyt or any other criminal would ever take her strength and determination away. What she never suspected though was the her son would.
Becoming her mother somehow gave her motivation to become a better cop and to put more bad guys behind bars but it also made her see things differently.
For every child that was murdered she started to imagine Louis on the autopsy table and when she interviewed parents she could not help but thinking it could be her and Maura on the other side mourning her son.
So when Jane came home, she spent every single minute with her son, talking to him, cuddling, making sure he was happy and that he knew how much she loved him.
At first Maura didn't object because she knew how much Jane missed him when she was at work and that becoming a mother made her see things from a different point of view. Unfortunately after a couple of months she started to feel neglected.
After putting Louis to bed at night Jane was too tired to make love or to even cuddle or talk and Maura was started to feel frustrated because she was unable to reach out to her wife who refused to talk about it.
Luckily for her Maura was not the kind of person who would just give up and she was determined to make sure Jane and her spent a romantic and sexy valentine's day just the two of them.
To achieve that she had dropped Louis at Angela's new place in the morning and went shopping for new underwear, perfume, candles and a few toys she was hoping would help re ignite the flame.
After coming home from her shopping right after lunch Maura immediately started to work on the decoration of their bedroom trying to make it as romantic and peaceful as possible.
Once she was done she just in the shower, shaved, washed her hair and spent a good hour fixing her hair before sliding in those sexy underwear she had bought and that very tight and shirt dress she knew Jane was going to love.
On the other side of town Jane was at her desk finishing her report, at least she was trying to.
"So do guys have plan for tonight?"Frost asked trying not to get any dirty pictures in his head.
"Yeah, Maura dropped Louis at my mom's this morning. I don't know what she had planned but I know I probably won't get any rest tonight."Jane replied rolling her eyes.
"And that's a bad thing because?"Frost asked wondering why Jane was so reluctant to go home and make love to her gorgeous wife.
"It's just… When I come home I'm night I'm exhausted and all I want is to spend time with my son and then go to bed. He's not here tonight so I was hoping I would just take a long bath and sleep a couple of more hours than I usually do but Maura has other plans you know."
"Well I get that you are tired, trust me I am as well but you and Maura are married and as much as she loves you and as understanding as she is your marriage is important and you should not neglect her."
"I know. I just..I feel that ever since I gave birth I take everything more personally. Ever kid I see on the autopsy table is Louis and I see us in every single parent we notify and when I came home I just don't have it me to have sex with her. I know it's awful but I just…"
"I understand how you feel partner but you need to compartmentalize more or at least tell her how you feel instead of just pushing her away. You know Maura is strong and that she loves you and she would do anything to help you if you let her."
"I know. I have to learn to leave work at work and if I'm not able to not to be scared to talk to her about it. Actually I'm sure that she spent the morning shopping for sexy underwear and that right now she's probably doing her hair picturing everything she wants to do to me tonight. I'm such an ass. I'm married to the most gorgeous, devoted, patient woman on earth and I'm screwing it up."Cupping her face with both hand rubbing it vigorously Jane had this feeling of being a screw up once again, that she had a perfect life and that she was ruining it.
"Then just go home to your wife and show her how much you love her. Paperwork can wait. God knows you have a sharp memory so your report will be as accurate tomorrow."Standing up pulling Jane's report from her desk closing it looking down at her Frost was determined to make sure Jane went home and enjoyed herself. Work could wait.
"You're right. Actually I stopped by that store she likes so much this morning and I bought her a little something."Jane replied biting her bottom lip.
"See, you do want to spend a romantic night with her. Don't try to deny it!Just go home, have dinner, a nice bath with her and stop thinking about work and I will see you tomorrow." Frost smiled handing her jacket.
"Thanks partner,don't stay too late right?"
"Nope, I have plans too. See ya." Watching Jane's walking away Frost had a feeling that somehow he managed to get through to her and considering how sick her armor was and stubborn she was knew he had accomplished something hard.
Driving home that night Jane started thinking about her conversation with Frost and knew that he was right: she had to leave work at the station and focus 100% on her family when at home.
She also realized that there was nothing to be ashamed off, that Maura had been there too and that talking to her about it would not make her weak. She knew that she could tell her everything regarding work, that she understood her because she had been on the job for years.
That was the thing with Maura, not only she understood Jane professionally but also on a personal level and even if it scared Jane a bit, to be with someone with a direct connection to her brain and heart but it felt good to be able to be herself without feeling weak.
Stepping out of her car, the gift she had got Maura in her hand Jane took a deep breath and starting to picture her wife naked in bed on top of her hoping it would help her get in the mood.
Smiling at the thought Jane stepped into their house immediately stroke by a sent of this delicious perfume to their bedroom Jane was immediately overwhelmed as she saw the dozens of candles Maura had lit her and spread all over the room and the rose petals she had thrown on the floor and on their bed.
Roaming her eyes around Jane's attention was caught by the view of Maura casually reading a book on their bed wearing a black silk robe with god knew what underneath.
"Now that's a view I would pay to come home to every night."Jane said walking towards the bed.
"You're home and you're baring gifts."Maura replied her eyes immediately caught on the small bag Jane was holding.
"Yes. But first I wanted to apologize for being such an ass over the past couple of months."Taking her shoes off before climbing in bed next to her wife Jane knew she had making up to do before she could show her how sorry she was.
"It's alright. I understand that going back for you wasn't easy, that being away from us isn't easy. Would you like to talk about it?"The truth was that Maura was hurt that Jane had been pushing her away for the past two months and was avoiding talking about what was troubling her. She thought that after all they went through Jane had decided to get rid of that armor she had been wearing all her life, at least with her.
"I just…Every kid I see dead is Louis and every parent I notify is me or you. I know I should compartmentalize and leave work at the station but when I come home once Louis is asleep ..I just, I'm just thinking about those kids and those parents and I'm just not capable of anything else. I'm sorry Maur'."Sliding closer to Maura positioning her head on her chest listening to her heart beat Jane was giving in for the first time in months.
"I understand. Becoming a mother changes you and I understand that you start to project yourself or our son in your victims. It's perfectly natural. Before we had a son you were on the job to keep this city safe to make sure that the next generations live in a better and safer world but now that you have a child you fight for a very personal reason and projecting yourself I think that being able to relate to your victims or their loved ones is going to make you a better Detective. But you're right, you need to be able to leave work at work and to be ours when you're here but it takes time. I understand and I'm here to help you alright?"Maura replied stroking Jane's hair with her finger kissing the top of her head.
"Thank you. I promise I'll make more efforts though. I really really don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to be able to go home and enjoy our son and enjoy my gorgeous wife without having images of dead kids in my head. Speaking of gorgeous wife. Open it."Jane said rising her hand handing the small bag to Maura.
"Thank you. Oh Jane this is…"Opening the bag Maura found a cartier box and when she opened it found a particular item she had had her eyes on for quite some time.
"It's the Cartier watch you had been lurking on for weeks. Do you like it?"Sitting up in bed pulling the watch of its box Jane's heart literally melted as she saw the big smile that small box brought on her wife's face.
"You shouldn't have really, that's a three thousand dollar watch Jane and it's not even my birthday."Maura replied pushing the watch around her wrist.
"Well I might not be into those kind of celebrations but I know how important Valentines' day is for you and I wanted to give you something special to remind you that you're my girl and that I love you very very much."
"You're sweet. You're right Valentines' day has always been a day that I looked forward to but ever since we started dating I don't feel the desire to celebrate it anymore because with you it feels like it's valentine's day every day Jane."The truth was that despite feeling sexually frustrated for the past couple of months Jane was still the more devoted and kind person she ever dated and despite being married was always trying to seduce her with flowers, chocolate or movie nights and it made Maura feel special every single time she looked into her wife's eyes.
"Same here baby, so what do you got for me?"Roaming her fingers on her silk Jane knew that Maura had something kinky in mind and was already salivating at the thought.
"How about you go jump in the shower and I will give you your present afterwards."
"Alright."Pressing her lips against Maura Jane was eager to find out what crazy fantasy she had in mind.
15 minutes later after a quick shower Jane joined Maura back in their bedroom only wearing a black robe and sleepers.
When she stepped into their love nest she was surprised to find Maura in the same position but with a large box at her feet.
"Is that my gift?"Jane asked pulling the box towards her.
"Well it's a gift for both of us actually. Open it."Keeping her finger crossed Maura was eager waiting for Jane's reaction. Despite being perfectly comfortable with their sexuality they had never talked about that particular fantasy.
"Oh, that's a very nice toy you got here babe."Opening the large box revealing a thick pink dildo Jane wasn't surprised. She always new Maura was adventurous and loved to experience new things particularly in the bedroom and had been waiting for her to ask her use one of those toys to please her.
"Yes it as 3 different speeds and it rotates too but if you want you can you it as a simple strap on by attaching those leather strings here."Pulling the strap on out of the box Maura started to manipulating it very naturally. Jane and her were married after all and there was nothing she should be ashamed or afraid to ask her.
"It's pretty fancy, I'll give you that. I hope you trust me not to hurt you. I promise I'll be gentle."Jane replied leaning over to kiss Maura eager to pull that dildo up her legs and make her wife sees stars.
"Hold on Jane. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear but I'm the one wearing it not you."Maura objected breaking the stars catching a peek inside Jane's robe licking her lip in anticipation.
"Oh…"Almost falling backwards Jane was surprised by Maura's request and knew by looking into her eyes that this was not negotiable but didn't know if she was willing to allow Maura to let her use that thing on her.
"Jane look at me. I know how proud you are and that you enjoy "being the guy" and being the head of the house, opening doors for me, pulling my chair, protecting us, providing for us and this would not take any of this from you. I love you, we're married and I'm convinced that we're comfortable enough in our marriage to talk about our desires and fantasies and comfortable enough with our sexuality and bodies to realize them."Maura replied holding both Jane's hand keeping her from moving away from her. She knew that once again this was all about control for Jane and she needed her to loosen up a bit.
"I'm sorry if you feel that I always need to be in charge especially in bed but when I was pregnant and up until I went back to work you were the one who took care of me and protected us. I felt that the roles were reversed and I didn't like it at first because I felt weak but I got used to it. Actually I love how carrying you are and I feel safe in your arms. But now all I'm trying to do is to be the woman you fell in love with, who's strong carrying and protective. I'm not trying to dominate you or anything and I'm sure that I'm going to love what ever you're planning on doing to me with that thing."Crawling towards Maura Jane realized that her wife was right, that she always had this need to be the dominant and strong one but knew that they were beyond that now. They were married and things had change and she didn't need to overpower or dominate Maura because she knew she could trust her that she would never hurt her and that she didn't need to wear the armor with her.
"I know you're not trying to dominate me Jane. Now this to go. I'm going to fuck you so hard that you're going to loose consciousness ."Maura replied almost ripping Jane's robe apart before flipping her naked body and climbing on top of her.
"Humm, okay."Laying back on her silk pillow Jane was shocked that Maura would used such a crude language but also excited, not that she was ever bored when they made love but she had a feeling that Maura was going to loose it and she could not wait.
Sitting on top of Jane looking down at her seeing the desire in her eyes Maura knew that Jane was completely trusting her and was eager to make her see stars.
Taking her black robe off revealing her naked body Maura tossed it on the floor before grabbing the strap on, attached her around her waist and took a quick look at it licking her lips in anticipation before leaning over to kiss Jane.
Ever since they first starting having sex their love making session had been passionate but very gentle, tender because at first she didn't want to hurt Jane or their baby but also because they enjoyed taking their time, exploring, teasing each other but tonight Maura didn't want to play. She had been frustrated for several weeks and had been building up so much desire that she could not hold inside anymore.
So as she started to kiss her, literally devouring her mouth and her tongue Maura settled between Jane's legs, parting them and reached out directly for her clitoris.
"God you're already so wet."Tickling Jane's clitoris with her middle finger Maura could feel the warmth streaming down the palm of her hand.
"For you…Always."Jane replied bucking her hips against Maura's hand hinting that she was ready for more, right now.
Smirking at Jane's encouragement Maura moved her hips a bit and positioned the tip of the dildo on Jane's entrance and started to caress it softly.
Parting her lips Maura started to ghost kisses on Jane's jaw all the way to her neck while still stroking Jane's labia with the tip of the dildo.
Feeling her heart hammering her chest eager for more Jane started to roam her hands on Maura's back all the way to her ass before grabbing it with both hands, bucking her hips while pulling Maura closer to her Jane let out a deep moan as she felt the dildo penetrating her entirely.
"I knew you wanted it but I had no idea how much you wanted it."Surprised by Jane's sudden excess of initiative Maura started to thrust inside her ass deep as she could determined to give Jane what she wanted.
"Oh God…"Jane panted arching her back as she felt the sick object thrusting inside of her. It was long and thick but Jane swallowed it without flinching.
Feeling her own arousal rise as she felt Jane's hand pressing on her back side asking her to thrust harder Maura started to thrust as hard and deep as she could before pulled out as slowly as possible.
Thrusting back and forth using her hips Maura gave herself completely, Jane was tight, very tight indeed and every thrust despite the fact that she was swamped was almost a struggle forcing Maura to plunged hard and deeper inside her wife.
Laying on her back trying to follow the rhythm of Maura's thrusts with her hips Jane as she felt the dildo filling her up felt overwhelmed. Her head was pounding, her breathing was short and her heart was hammering her chest.
"Now I want you on your knees so I can go deeper and make you come hard."Maura ordered as she suddenly pulled the dildo out of Jane swollen folds.
Nodding, swallowing hard Jane simply flipped around and positioned herself on her knees her hands at both sides of the pillow.
Facing the head board of the bed Jane barely had the time to take a deep breath before she felt Maura's hands grabbing both sides and of hips and the dildo thrusting inside her deeper than earlier.
"OH GOD!"Jane panted burying her head in the pillow, clenching her fingers around the shits.
"You like that a baby?"Maura smirked tightening her fingers around Jane's flesh pulling her hips around the dildo as hard as she could.
"FUCK!"Bitting her pillow feeling the dildo deepening inside her Jane was over the edge.
Over excited by Jane's moans Maura intensified her thrusts by accelerating the movements of her hips literally banging against Jane.
For the next hour or so Maura fucked Jane as hard, as deep as she could unleashing all the desires she had kept inside for so long. She fucked her over and over feeling her coming multiples times around the thick dildo feeling her shiver under her touch, stimulating her clitoris to increase her pleasure.
Maura was in charge, she was the one calling the shots and when Jane begged her to stopped after coming a forth time finally decided to oblige and pulled the dildo out of Jane's dripping folds feeling her collapsing below her.
"Happy valentines' day my love."Collapsing on top of Jane who was now lying on her belly Maura was lacking words. This had been good and she could not wait to do it again.
"Yeah…"Jane breathed on feeling the weight of Maura's body pressing against her back. Trying to calm herself down Jane could feel the warmth streaming down her folds and it hurt a little.
Today she had allowed Maura to be in charge and to unleash her desires and she didn't regret it because even if her inner thighs were burning she had never come that hard in her entire life.
Alright guys you know me sex is never just about sex. Jane needed to address her control issues and her desire to be the guy right?
Also I found it realistic that becoming her mother would make it hard for her not to take her job personally and that she wouldn't be able to compartmentalize more and that it would affect her private life.
I hope you enjoyed the sex scene. Just for once I wanted them to fuck as opposed to make love and to make Maura the dominant one instead of just laying back and take it you know?
Next chapter : new plot but I won't say another word.
As usual feedback feeds and inspires me :) As the story will fast forward in the next chapter and a new plot is coming new ideas are welcome!
thank you guys!