I go to the movies again, this time to see a movie about a circus magician who stumbles into a magical world and is mistaken for a wizard. It's an amazing movie, and I think it wouldn't be surprising if there is a game in this arcade with such a setting and characters. I even try going shopping for some pins and/or buttons featuring my friends/neighbors to attach onto my clothes or fishnets to wear on my arms, but I don't find either. On my way back, I come across a random guy who apparently wants to ask me out on a date. While I'm flattered that he says I'm beautiful, I can't accept dates with complete strangers. Once again, my angsty side begins to return, as I feel lonely right after returning, with no one trying to talk to me, at the moment. On my way back to Fix-it-Felix Jr., I suddenly feel something poking my shoulder. Worried there may be something wrong with my shoulder, I run into the game, not knowing someone may be trying to approach me. As soon as I reach the entrance, though, the pain stops.
Anyways, back in Fix-it-Felix Jr., I imitate my favorite blue security guard, as I write up another chapter. I hear a few footsteps, just as Felix walks over.
"Hey, Irene" he says, cheerfully waving, "What's up?"
"Hey Felix! I got back from the movies again, and once again, no one seemed to want to talk to me." I write.
"Oh dear, well at least I'm here, along with the others; they just got here" says Felix, looking towards the doorway to see Johnny, the Surge, Rancis, Maria, Amy, Torvald, Sticky, and Jubileena.
I beam in silent joy as I wave at the group standing in my doorway.
"Mates, hey there!" says Johnny, waving his hand as he walks in, "What's up?"
"I went to the movies again and tried to go shopping for fashion accessories. I didn't find what I was looking for." I write.
"I think it's been somewhat eventful in Sugar Rush, since Rancis and Gloyd tried making said game a 'better place'" says Sticky as she walks in.
"What did you and Gloyd do?" I write, turning towards the peanut butter-themed racer.
"We tried making Sugar Rush a better place" says a grinning Rancis.
"Right" mutters Jubileena, in a sarcastic kind of way.
"Really? How so?" I write, raising a hidden brow.
"Most of their suggestions didn't even work. It just made situations worse than they were" says Jubileena.
I chuckle in amusement, thinking "Boys..."
"Perhaps now that we're here, we can do one of our skit ideas" says Johnny.
I chuckle, as I nod in agreement.
"So, which two of you guys want to be the ones who think they're dead?" I write.
Surprisingly, the Surge and Felix raise their right hands and nod in response.
"Those two, then" says Johnny.
"Ooh, this will be interesting.&" I write, looking at the blue security guard and fixer in an interested, but not necessarily attracted, way, "I thought I could be the one who gives them advice. Maybe I should change roles, though.&"
"Now, we just need somebody to be the one that gets hit by a moving vehicle, I think" says Johnny.
"Actually, I'm pretty sure it's one of the two who thinks they're dead who gets hit by the moving vehicle. Someone needs to play the one driving the vehicle. For the two British people commenting on the scene, I was thinking you and Maria." I write.
"That's what I meant to say, but I said the wrong thing" chuckles Johnny, "And I'll be happy to be one of the British people. I am British, after all."
"Okay. So, who wants to be the one in the moving vehicle and the one whom one of the 'dead' guys bumps into?" I write.
"I can be the one in the moving vehicle" says Sticky, raising her hand.
"Great. What about the person who gets bumped into?" I write.
"I can do that, easy" says Rancis, raising his hand.
"Okay." I flip my notebook to.
"Well, that sums up our cast" says Johnny, "We know who's who now."
"Yeah. I think I'll be the one who gets hugged and 'breaks up' with someone." I write, eyeing the blue security guard.
Before we get started, though, Johnny decides to take a break, allowing the rest of us to just hang around in the apartment. As I take time to write, I strip down to my underwear again and dash across the hallway.
"Is everything alright over there?" the Surge asks, "I hear a lot of rushing around"
"Yeah, I was just going to wash up." I write, heading to the bathroom.
"Ok..." he says.
A few minutes later, I come back out, thinking "Wow, yet another guy actually tried to flirt with me?"
The Surge looks up; I look back at him as I polish my glasses, smiling in a shy way.
"You're looking good" he comments.
"Seriously? That's what some other guy said to me, I think. I had both earphones in, at the time." I write.
"Of course" the Surge answers.
"Thanks. I don't know what that other guy was thinking, though." I write.
The Surge nods, and I look down at my chest, wishing there was something I can do about the blemishes I have there. He goes back to his newspaper.
"So, anything new in security?" I write, in an attempt to keep the conversation going.
"Uh..not much" he replies.
"Okay. I went to the movies again and tried to go shopping, but I couldn't find what I was looking for." I write.
"Awww...that sucks" he says.
"Yeah, shopping's not so easy when you're a goth/punk fan of Felix and Ralph." I write.
The Surge nods, presumably in understanding, and I try to imitate his signature pose as I write again. He looks up wide-eyed. I smile nervously in response.
"Damn..." he says, smiling.
"Okay, so you're not actually upset that I did that." I think.
"No, of course not...why would I be?" he responds.
"Your pupils were dilated when you looked at me." I write.
A blush suddenly appears as the blue security guard replies "'Cause I was surprised at your pose"
"I like that pose; I thought it was suiting." I write, putting on my earphones and resuming my writing.
I put the rest of my clothes back on, and Johnny finally returns from his break.
"Shall we begin filming the skit now?" asks Johnny, pulling out his camera.
"Heck yes." I write.
"On March 10, 2013, Fix-it-Felix Jr. had given up on finding a girlfriend, even though he's married to Sergeant Calhoun" says Johnny as he holds the camera, "So, Surge decided to teach him an ancient Native American dance that would make Felix irresistible to women. When they were finished, they realized they fudged up the dance, and that they did the dance of death. Felix and Surge now believe they are dead, and this is their life as ghosts."
I chuckle, as I watch the skit beginning.
"We're dead!" shouts Felix.
"You're dead!" shouts the Surge.
"You're dead!" Felix shouts back.
The two run out of the apartment frantically.
"Bye Irene, I'm going out!" says the fixer, "Oh yeah, and I'm dead!"
"We're dead!" the blue security guard and fixer shout as they run through the hallway leading outside.
I laugh in absolute amusement, as I watch.
"Wait wait wait" says the Surge.
"What?" asks Felix.
"How do we know that we're actually dead?" asks the Surge.
"Well, if we're ghosts, people can't see us, right?" asks Felix.
"Right" says the Surge.
"So, if you jump out in front of that kart, and you're a ghost, then she's not gonna see you, right?" the fixer adds.
I grin in total excitement.
"I guess, but-" the Surge tries to say.
"So, jump in front of the kart!" says Felix.
"Why don't you do it?" asks the Surge, as the two argue.
"Okay, so I was at this One Direction concert, and - hey! Just because I listen to One Direction doesn't mean I'm gay!" Sticky says to her phone while driving.
"Oh fudge, mate!" shouts Sticky, just as the blue security guard is thrown across her kart.
"She didn't see you, mate" says Felix.
"I guess that means we ARE dead" says the Surge.
"Oh my land, we're dead?!" shouts Felix, who screams and runs off just as randomly as before.
I continue laughing, as I write and watch. Felix then runs into Rancis.
"I'm dead, hat!" Felix says, taking off the peanut butter-themed racer's hat, "I'm dead!"
"My word, what is that child doing?" asks Johnny, putting on a monocle as Felix kicks the hat, "Oh, that's dreadful!"
"A hat, Felix? Really?" I think, laughing.
"Yes, but that was a smashing kick, cousin!" says Maria, just as the hat hits her in the head.
"Indeed!" says Johnny.
"Will the Surge and Felix ever realize they aren't really ghosts? Will Felix ever get a girlfriend, even though he has a wife? Tune in next time to find out!" he says off-screen as he holds the camera.
"Hilarious." I think.
Johnny then stops filming, which is a good thing, as he bursts into laughter.
"That was probably the most hilarious thing I've filmed all week!" he laughs.
"I know, right?" I write, turning towards Felix and the Surge.
"You guys were the funniest you've ever been, so far!" I think.
"This is probably the only skit I've seen which Maria hasn't spoken Spanish at all" says Sticky, getting out of her kart and holding her stomach, as she laughs.
"Oh yeah, you're right." I write towards Sticky.
"We should totally do a sequel to this sometime" says Johnny, chuckling.
"Exactly!" I write, "I was thinking we should do the whole series!"
"We should think of the cast for Episode 2. If we're lucky, we can film it tonight" says Johnny.
"As I said before, I was originally thinking of being the person to give advice, but since a certain blue security guard's playing one of the two thinking they're dead, I think I should be the girl whom he tries to hug." I write.
"Perhaps I could be the one who gives them advice" says Johnny, "And perhaps Amy can be the cardboard cutout."
"I was thinking Felix should use a picture of Calhoun, actually." I write.
"That could work too" says Johnny, "Well now, we know our roles. Let's get cracking."
"Heck yeah!" I write.
"The Surge Protector and Felix accidentally did a dance that was supposed to kill whoever did it" says Johnny as he holds the camera, "They now believe they are dead, and this is their life as ghosts."
I watch and try to study my lines.
"What's the matter, man?" asks Felix, as he and Surge walk along.
"I don't know. I just don't know how I'm gonna deal with the fact that I'm dead, you know" says the Surge in response.
"Yeah, yeah" says Felix, "Well, whenever I have a problem, I just ask the guy up there."
"Really?" asks the Surge.
I glance over to watch this scene.
"Yeah" says Felix, "Hey Johnny Hersheyson?"
"Yes?" asks Johnny.
"How do we cope with being dead?" asks Felix.
"I think you guys need to talk to your loved ones, you know, get some closure, and get on with your lives" says Johnny.
"You're right; I should go talk to my girlfriend!" says the Surge.
"Well, that's a good place to start" says Johnny.
"Bye! Thanks!" says the blue security guard, running off.
"Yeah, and I gotta see somebody too!" says Felix, "Bye, Johnny!"
Felix then runs off-screen. I sit towards the right end of the couch, flipping through songs on my iPod.
"Irene! Irene!" the Surge shouts, running over to the couch, "Irene!"
Hearing that voice, I turn to Jubileena and write "Oh! God, it's the Surge. I can't talk to him. You know what, I'm just going to ignore him."
"Irene" says the Surge, getting on the couch beside me and panting from exhaustion.
"Oh, did I tell you my Surge-bug friend disappeared? I miss him so much." I write, "I haven't stopped wondering since he left."
"I miss you too, Irene!" says the Surge, grabbing and holding me, "I just wish I could hold you in my arms forever!"
"Listen, I know we've only known each other for such a short time, but... you've touch my heart the way nobody ever has. I just had to see you one more time, just to tell you how much I care for you" Felix says to something off-screen.
I struggle to come up with anything I actually dislike about the Surge, so I write towards Jubileena "There's a couple things I didn't really like about him, though. First of all, he won't pay attention to me. And I've heard he's such a flirt."
"How did she know that was me?" the Surge asks himself, turning away for a short moment.
"You know what? Now that I think of it, I'm actually glad he's gone." I write, "I can finally try to clear my mind."
"Thanks for breaking my heart, Irene!" says the Surge as he gets up, "I hope you're happy!"
He then runs off, pretending to cry. I look towards the blue security guard with guilt, as I wouldn't want to say these kinds of things to him, for real.
The next morning, I'm catching up with more stuff that has happened in the past few days. Again, I see Felix being harassed by that same girl, who is now calling him "grumpity".
"Oh no..." I think.
Felix scowls, and I automatically feel bad, giving him an "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you" kind of look.
"No, I'm sorry, Irene..you&'re not bothering me..." says Felix, much to my relief.
I then turn towards the offending girl and facepalm at how she's bothering Felix again.
"...who the hell are you?" she asks.
I simply shake my head in disapproval.
"Mitsu! One of your weird book clubber's is here!" she suddenly says.
"Book clubbers?" I think, "What the heck are you talking about?"
"Mitsu! Get your ass over here, before I f*ing kick it!" she orders.
"My book clubs aren't on Sunday!" someone else answers.
"Okay?" I think, turning back to my writing.
"...do ya need something?" the girl asks.
"Not from you, I don't." I write, glaring at her.
"So, why are you here, then?" she asks.
"I live here." I write.
"In my game? Oh no no no no! You, out. Or I'll call Teacher-San. Have him take care of you." she responds.
I mean the penthouse here in Fix-it-Felix Jr., but the girl must've confused this game with her own. Why the heck would I live in this girl's game, whatever it is?
Anyways, I later allow myself a break and come out of Fix-it-Felix Jr., dancing in the entrance. Johnny walks over, along with the Surge, Maria, Rancis, Amy, Jubileena, Torvald, and Sticky.
"Hey, mate!" Johnny calls upon seeing me, waving, "What's up?"
I stop dancing to take a break and wave enthusiastically at the group.
"What's up?" asks Johnny as he leads the others over, "We were just on our way. We thought we'd finish up last night's skit as well."
"I saw the same person annoying Felix again, but other than that, nothing much." I write.
"That same person again?" asks Johnny, "I'm guessing she'll never stop."
"Yeah, she's so obnoxious and inconsiderate, from how I've seen her act..." I write.
"Well, we'd best be heading to Fix-it-Felix Jr. now" says Johnny, "That way, we can finish up that skit."
I nod in agreement and attempt to dance my way to the trains. Johnny gets in the train, followed by the others, sitting next to Sticky and the Surge. I sit on the other seat beside the blue security guard.
"While I was racing earlier today, I thought of a skit idea as well" says Sticky, getting comfortable.
"Which is?" I write, putting an arm around the blue security guard.
"One of us takes a ride in a kart while the driver is doing drift moves, and the rider is challenged to not do several things along the trip, and if they do not do these things, they earn five coins" says Sticky.
"Another bet? Cool." I write.
"I talked with Maria, and she said she can be the kart driver" says Sticky, Maria nodding, "Now, we just need the one who goes on the ride and the one that doesn't ride and makes the rules."
I nod in understanding.
"Perhaps we can finish up the first skit that we're currently doing, and then do the other" says Johnny, watching as the train is slowly exiting the plug.
"Yep" I flip my notebook to, my arm now pressing on the Surge's blue beads.
"I even remember where we left off." I think.
"Looks like we can resume, since we're here" says Johnny, noticing the train slowing down near the station and Felix standing on the platform.
I immediately wave at the cute little fixer.
"Hey, guys" says Felix, cheerfully waving when he sees us, "Nice to see you all here."
"It's great to see you too." I write.
"Now that you're here, maybe we-" Felix tries to say, but is cut off.
"We know; we were just talking about that" chuckles Johnny.
"Yeah." I write, chuckling.
I look towards the blue security guard with a mix of awkwardness and guilt.
"Well, let's head inside the apartment. Come on" says Felix, helping some of the others off of the train and heading towards the apartment.
I think about the things I've said about the Surge last night during the skit as we head inside, even though I know I was supposed to say them.
"What are you thinking about?" asks Rancis, as he walks inside.
"Just my lines in the skit we're working on. It feels weird that I said that to the one I have a crush on." I write.
"I'm sure the Surge knows that you didn't mean it" says Rancis, "It was just your lines for the video."
Yeah, it is true. I knew the one who plays the girl in that skit would have to say those kinds of things. I guess I'm just worrying a bit too much. Nonetheless, I smile and glance towards the blue security guard to see how he's feeling now. The Surge seems rather happy, with a grin, as Felix walks into my room. I affectionately poke the blue security guard on the belly, as we all go in.
"Here's the prop we need" says Johnny, pulling out a cardboard cutout and his camera, "Now, let's get filming.
I nod and step off-screen.
"Look, you're been such an influence in my life, and you were there for me when nobody else was" Felix says to an object off-screen, the camera pulling back to show him and the cutout, "I just wanted to tell you how much I love you, Calhoun. Shh! Shh, don't say it. Your perfectly blond, flowing hair says it all... oh, who am I kidding. Come here, my dynamite gal!"
Felix then puts his lips onto the cutout. I giggle at how he makes out with the Calhoun cutout.
"Will Felix and Surge ever get on with their lives? Will Felix ever make out with the real Sergeant Calhoun - oh wait, he has. Tune in next time to find out!" says Johnny as he holds the camera and stops filming.
"Um, great job you did there." I write towards the blue security guard, smiling in that shy kind of way.
"Thanks, you did good too" says the Surge, smiling in the same way.
"Perhaps now we can do Wipplesnit's idea, or we can do another Life as Ghosts episode" says Johnny.
"Let's finish up the series first." I write.
"Let's get cracking on episode three" says Johnny, turning on his camera again.
"Heck yeah!" I write.
"Surge Protector and Felix believe they are dead, and this is their life as roasts- I mean ghosts!" says Johnny as he holds the camera, filming the Surge sitting at the table and unwrapping something.
I watch, eager to see what happens next.
"Hey, man" says Felix, walking in with some white sheets.
"Hey, what's that?" asks the Surge.
"They're sheets, duh" says Felix.
"Yeah, what are they for?" asks the Surge.
"Oh, well, you see, earlier today... I was walking down the hallway, and then some rude peanut head bumped into me" says Felix.
I giggle, as I watch. Johnny then films Rancis and Felix bumping into each other in the hallway.
"Hey, watch it, pal" says Rancis.
"You can see me?" asks Felix in surprise, "But I'm a ghost!"
"You don't look like a ghost" scoffs Rancis, "Wait a second, you're the guy that kicked my hat!"
I grin, clearly enjoying what I'm seeing.
"So, I thought we should wear these if you want to be taken seriously as ghosts. I mean, look at this thing" Felix says to the Surge, putting on the sheet, "It's pretty cool, made it myself."
"Alright alright alright, I'll do it" says the Surge, putting on his sheet.
I smile, as if about to giggle. The fixer and blue security guard then try eating.
"Dude, why didn't you cut any eye-holes?" asks the Surge.
"Do you know anything about ghosts?" asks Felix.
"Well, I know they have eyes, idiot" says the Surge, trying to eat what looks like a burger, "Dude, how am I supposed to eat with such a small mouth-hole?"
I giggle at how tiny the mouth holes on the sheets are.
"It's all about technique. Watch, see this?" says Felix, taking a hot dog and easily eating it, "Easy!"
The Surge tries eating the burger again, but to no avail.
"Screw this!" he says in frustration, walking off as Felix grabs the burger and begins eating it.
"I guess everything works out for Felix." I jokingly think.
"Will Surge ever learn to tie his shoes? Will we still be around to make Food Battle 2013? That's a sweet 'stache. Tune in next time's exciting series finale to all these answers and more!" says Johnny, as he stops filming.
"This is going great." I write, chuckling.
"I know, right?" says Johnny, "We should totally do the next episode now."
"Heck to the yeah!" I write.
"Life as ghosts!" Johnny shouts to his camera, filming Felix jumping at a wall.
"I'm a ghost! Let me through!" shouts the fixer.
"Screw this, man. We'll never be able to go through walls" says the Surge.
"Well, what else do ghosts do?" asks Felix.
"I don't know, scare people?" says the Surge.
"I'll be right back!" says Felix, jumping up and enthusiastically running off.
"Yeah. I believe I know other ghosts who can't phase through things." I jokingly think, referring to the Ghost Racers.
"Alright, let's go, man" says Felix, tossing a sheet at the Surge's face.
"I'm not putting this sheet on again!" says the Surge.
"Well, I am, and people are gonna be SO scared!" says Felix, "Let's go scare some people!"
"Alright, let's go!" says the Surge, running off with Felix as the fixer smacks into a wall.
I chuckle, amused at how Felix bumps into a wall. Felix then runs outside with his sheet, attempting to scare Johnny as he walks along, only to end up falling and tumbling over his own sheet. I laugh at this little stunt. The Surge now tries to scare Amy as he jumps out in front of her and makes noises, but instead of being scared, sharp, metal tips appear on the latter's right hand fingers. She growls and punches him in the face with her mechanical arm.
"Silly beauty..." I think, referring to the Surge.
Meanwhile, Felix tumbles down the brick pile and gets out a phone from his belt when he hears a ringtone.
"What?" he asks.
"Felix, my nose is bleeding!" says the Surge.
"So?" says Felix.
"Ghosts can't bleed! Don't you get it? We're not ghosts!" says the Surge.
I simply laugh in amusement.
"That means I'm not a ghost, either! Because I just sustained a massive head wound!" says Felix, having some jelly on his forehead as ,ironically, the Surge appears.
"That looks like it really hurts" says the Surge.
"Yeah, but it doesn't matter 'cause we're not ghosts!" says Felix.
"Yeah!" says the two, high-fiving and running off.
I chuckle, eagerly waiting to see what happens next. Felix then gets onto a bicycle, and the Surge sits in front of it. The two scream in joy as the former pedals along.
"Yay! Oh, whoa, look out, a cliff!" says the Surge.
"I can't see!" shouts Felix.
I start laughing more hysterically, as Felix and the Surge start bicycling dangerously. The two scream as the bicycle flies off the tree stump on the brick pile. The two land, fortunately to smooth ground.
"Oh man" groans Felix, "We almost died there, dude."
"Oh my rib. Oh, I think I broke my rib" says the Surge.
"You're not alone there" says Felix, "We should - yay!"
The two then ride the bicycle again.
"Guys..." I think, laughing at the two riding the bicycle.
"Another cliff!" the Surge shouts.
"What?" asks Felix, the two careering off of the brick pile once more.
"My, are they being dumb." I think, laughing.
The Surge and Felix then get up, Johnny placing a green screen behind them for an effect he would add.
"Wha-what's going on?" asks Felix, both of them looking at the ground.
"We're dead!" the security guard and fixer shout, pretending they see their "corpses".
"That's what you get for being stunt dummies." I jokingly think.
"Will Surge and Felix ever get - wait, this series is over? Well, screw this, I'm going home!" Johnny says to his camera, finally stopping filming.
"Great job, everyone!" I write, still laughing.
"Thanks" says the Surge, he and Felix walking over.
"That was really enjoyable doing" says Johnny, "It was brilliant."
"You're totally welcome, you two." I write, now heading to the bathroom to wash up.
I come back out and plop onto the couch.
"Me and the others were talking about Wipplesnit's skit idea, and we've thought of the rest of the cast, so far" says Johnny.
"Really? Who?" I write.
"She's going to be the one who makes the rules" says Johnny, pointing to Sticky, "And I'm the one that goes on my cousin's crazy drift drive."
"And you're going to wet yourself?" I write.
"Probably so. We'll have to wait and see" says Johnny, "We still have some time before we head back home, so maybe we can film it."
"Well, okay." I write, "It sounds like such a funny idea."
"Brilliant. Let's head outside and get cracking" says Johnny, heading to the exit of my room with Sticky and Maria.
I follow them, so that I may be able to see the skit better.
"Hey, we're here at Niceland in front of Maria DeMenta's kart" Sticky says to the camera.
"I'm gonna be riding in my cousin's kart, should be pretty fun" says Johnny.
"And he's scared as hell; just look at his face" says Sticky.
"No, love, I'm not scared" says Johnny.
"I think I know you pretty well, and you'll probably scream like a girl the whole time" says Sticky.
"No, I'll be fine, mate" says Johnny.
I chuckle, although Johnny doesn't seem scared at all right now.
"I imposed a few rules for Johnny, since he thinks this ride's gonna be a cake walk" says Sticky, "He has to keep his arms folded at all times. No screaming, no saying bloody hell, fudge, oh my god, or I wanna go home. No babbling nonsense, no making a stupid face, and he also can't piss his pants. For every rule he doesn't break, I'll give him five coins. He's pretty confident that he'll walk away at least fifty coins richer, but we'll see about that."
I laugh at the rules, excited to see how Johnny will follow through on the bet. Maria revs up her kart's engine, just as Johnny raises his hand.
"Oh my god, ah!" he shouts.
"Bloody hell!" he shouts, as Maria swerves around a corner, "Oh my god! Oh my god!"
He then starts babbling. I laugh at how Johnny's already breaking the rules.
"Oh bloody hell! Bloody hell! Oh fudge!" shouts Johnny, as Maria spins her kart around several times.
"Look out for that guy!" he shouts, Maria swerving her kart to avoid hitting the Surge.
I continue laughing in absolute amusement.
"I wanna go home!" shouts Johnny, as Maria drifts her kart around the blue security guard and blowing a cloud of dust in the air and around the Surge as she drives back over to Sticky.
"Wuss." I jokingly think.
"How was it?" asks Sticky as she walks over.
"Is this real life?" asks Johnny.
"Well, you didn't break one of the rules, so-" Sticky says.
"What rule?" asks Johnny.
"You pissed your pants, right?" asks Sticky.
"Oh yeah!" says Johnny.
He and Sticky put their arms over each other as filming stops.
"Now, that was hilarious." I write, laughing.
"Thanks, I thought it was, as well" chuckles Johnny as he walks over.
I glance to see whether Johnny has actually wet himself for the skit.
"Oh yeah, and if you're wondering about my pants, I poured water on them to make it look like I've wet myself" says Johnny.
"Clever." I write, chuckling.