Forever

Penny woke up slowly on Saturday morning, with her arms clinging on to her little Ernie teddy and a familiar pounding in her head. As she woke, a few scattered memories of the night before came to her; ones of dancing along the pavement as they waited to get a cab home, and ones of her drinking in the cinema, getting up every half an hour to go to the bar and get another round in, greatly annoying the other people around her trying to watch the film.

She groaned at the less than pleasant memories and turned around to look at her nightstand in the hope she had left a glass or bottle of water there the night before, but as she opened her eyes, she caught a glimpse of a figure in her doorway that made her jump.

Penny screamed, covered her face with one hand, and instinctively threw the first thing that came to her towards it, which just happened to be the little Ernie teddy, and then a silence passed over the room. She had expected something to happen, someone to speak or come running over to her, but nothing happened.

Slowly, she parted her fingers and peeked through the space between them, before completely dropping her hand. She let out a quiet laugh and shook her head as she put her hand to her chest, and breathed deeply in an effort to calm her racing heart.

There was no strange man in her apartment, there was no intruder, it was simply the cardboard cut-out of Superman that she now remembered she and the girls had 'borrowed' from the cinema. She was a little puzzled about why it had ended up at her apartment and not Amy's, but she was sure that she would figure that out later on when she spoke to the two of them and filled in the blanks of what she couldn't quite remember from last night.

After recovering from her shock, she began to force herself out of bed and into the kitchen to grab a drink, since she obviously hadn't been sober enough when she had come home to remember and put the life-saving glass beside her bed.

As she walked past the Superman at her door, she shook her head, letting out a disbelieving laugh in the process and then another one when she spotted little Ernie on the floor. She wasn't quite sure what she had been thinking in that split second to make her think that throwing a soft toy would actually help her if she had been faced with some sort of intruder; even if she had managed to hit him with it, it was hardly the sort of thing that would cause any real damage.

"I'm sorry sweetie." She mumbled as she bent down to pick him up off the floor, gave it a quick kiss on the forehead and carried him with her to the kitchen where she took out a bottle of water, before stumbling back to her bed, moving the Superman from her doorway and into her bedroom whilst kicking her discarded uniform from the night before out of her pathway.

As she fell onto her bed, dropping her bottle of water and her teddy down beside her, she searched for her phone, eventually finding it hidden under her pillow. She clicked the 'home' button and the first thing she noticed was a text from Leonard, the second was that it was almost eleven am. She quickly figured out that it would be almost seven in the North Sea, something she had become quite good at calculating over the past month. As she unlocked her phone a few small visions of texting Leonard as she was in the cinema came floating back to her, but none of after the movie had ended, although there was very little she remembered of that point in time anyway, apart from 'borrowing' that Superman. Shaking her head and smiling incredulously at their silly actions, she opened the text.

You know you shouldn't be telling me that kind of stuff while I'm trying to work. You're going to cause some sort of disaster in my lab! Go to sleep honey, and call me when you wake up. :) Xxx

Penny frowned at the text and scrolled up, before putting hand to her mouth as her stomach fell and she saw that she had told him, in no uncertain, yet slightly misspelled terms, what she was looking forward to doing to him as soon as he got back from his trip. Penny felt her cheeks flush a hot red as she sunk down into the sheets, afraid to scroll up further and see what else she had said through the night. She opened her bottle of water and took a long drink, before going back to her phone and calling him, like he had asked.

Leonard was alone in his room, not long out of the shower and thinking of going to meet Paul and Karina in the recreation room, where they, and a small bunch of the other scientists on board, were planning a 'one-on-one' Call of Duty tournament that he wanted to be a part of. His Saturday nights hadn't changed much since moving on to this ship, they were still filled with nerdy goings on - just with different nerds.

He hummed a tune as he tidied up the small mess gathering at his bedside, unable to remove the smile that had been plastered on his face all day; all thanks to Penny and her drunken, random, texts she had been sending him.

His humming stopped suddenly when he heard his phone vibrate then ring on his desk, and he frowned a little as he wondered who it was calling him as he never really got phone calls anymore, since whenever he spoke to someone, it was usually over the laptop.

That frown disappeared, replaced with a wide smile when he got close enough to see that it was Penny calling.

"Hey, you." Leonard said in such a way that Penny could almost tell he was smiling on the other side.

"Hey." Penny replied, still with a slight crack from her dry throat.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He asked, still grinning as he sat down on his bed.

"Mmh, not great." She moaned, before clearing her throat. "My head's a little sore, but I've been in worse conditions." Leonard chuckled, "Stop laughing, it's not funny!" She protested with a smile that she was glad he couldn't see.

"Sorry, what I meant to say was; oh that's too bad." He replied with sarcasm dripping through his tone.

"That's better." She grinned.

"So did you enjoy the movie?"

"Yeah, it was alright." She replied, although if she were honest, she couldn't really remember most of it. "I finally learned what Kal-el was,you know that thing you use for all your passwords, so, that was good."

"Yeah I know, I can't believe you didn't know what it was."

"Oh yeah, because that's the kind of thing I am going to just know!" She replied sarcastically and laughed. "I thought it was one of your physics formula things that you-" Penny frowned, "Wait a second, what do you mean you know?"

"You texted me last night telling me."

"Oh," Penny grinned, remembering not only that text, but a few others that made her blush just to think about. She had to change the subject quickly, because the last thing she needed was that being brought up. "We stole Superman." She blurted out.

"Yeah, I know that too. I have the pictures."

"Pictures?!" She didn't recall taking any pictures, and she could only hope that these ones of Superman were the only ones she had sent. "What pictures?"

"Well, there were a couple of the three of you doing superhero poses beside him – I feel bad for whoever you got to take those pictures by the way." He laughed, "Then there were a few of Amy pretty much molesting the thing, and a few from inside the cab, with it kind of hanging out the window."

"Oh yeah… fun night!" Penny laughed as it all came back to her. "He's here with me now. It scared the crap out of me this morning, I thought there was someone breaking in, so I threw Ernie at it."

"The teddy?"

"Yeah."

Leonard chuckled. "You threw a teddy at something you thought was a person breaking in!?" He laughed again, "How was that going to help?"

"It was the closest thing to me!" Penny replied defensively, but Leonard continued to laugh. "I bet the teddy would have done more damage than you in that situation!"

He chuckled again. "Oh really? Okay, so if someone tries to break in to my apartment when I get back, I should just start throwing teddies and maybe some pillows at him?"

"Yes." She replied with a nod, as a smile crept over her face at the sound of him still laughing on the other end. "Will you stop laughing! You know, you've turned into such a smart ass since being on that ship."

Leonard laughed, "Its fun teasing you, especially when you make it so easy and you can't withhold sex from me for doing it." He chuckled again as Penny shook her head, but was unable to stop a small laugh of her own.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes, "Well, I hope my actions have perked up your day."

"Oh you did. I don't think I have stopped smiling all day... the texts you sent though…" He chuckled, "Those were personal favourites." He said with a cheeky grin.

Penny's stomach fell and she groaned. She knew that this moment was coming, and she could tell by the tone of his voice that he was going to continue to tease her for whatever she had said.

"I especially liked it when you told me how you couldn't wait to be with me and my 'man of steel'." He laughed.

Her cheeks flushed and her eyes widened in shock. "I did not say that."

"You did. The texts are right there on your phone. Although technically you did write 'man of stool' but we can put that down to autocorrect." Leonard chuckled, "I got pretty good at understanding what you meant when it seemed to make no sense, although it did take me a minute to understand what you meant when you told me you were looking forward to playing with my duck."

"Oh my God." Penny moaned as she slid down her bed and covered her face with her free hand. "I didn't."

"You did. You know, for someone who was trying to convince me at the beginning of the day that you won't need me when I get home because of this chew toy, you really didn't sound like it by the end of the night."

"Oh God…" She groaned again and heard him laugh on the other side. "You really are enjoying this aren't you?" Penny mumbled through her hand.

"I am." He answered with a smug chuckle. "I don't think I've ever had someone be this obviously hot for me before. I really do think I am turning into Captain Kirk."

"Alright, well, Captain Kirk better keep all of this information to himself, or else that chew toy of mine will become his permanent replacement."

"My lips are sealed… Although I already told Paul."

"What?!"

"Just kidding."

"Leonard, I am this close to hanging up on you."

"You wouldn't do that, not to me and my man of steel!"

Penny grinned, "Right, that's it." She moved the phone from her ear, pretending that she was going to hang up, and as she expected she heard Leonard's frantic voice on the other end.

"Okay, okay, okay, I'll stop!"

"Promise?" She asked, putting the phone to her ear again.

"Yes, I promise. No more teasing." He smiled into the phone, "So, what are your plans for today?"

"Well, I am supposed to be going to an audition later, but I think I might just skip it."

"Why?" Leonard asked, his tone suddenly turning serious.

"I dunno. I guess I'm not really in the mood to drive all the way to Hollywood, just to be told 'thanks for coming, but you aren't quite what we are looking for.'" She huffed, as her head briefly travelled over all the different ways the various casting directors had told her how she just wasn't good enough for their commercials, or plays, or didn't have the right look or sound. It was frustrating, because she knew she wasn't a bad actress. She knew that show business was a fickle world and more often than not, if you didn't have the right look they wanted, or if someone with a brighter smile, better figure or bigger chest came along, she would be cast aside whether she was technically better than them or not. "I'll probably just laze about the apartment for the day. I don't think I have to do anything with your crazy roommate, so I have the day to myself. What about you?"

"There's a Call of Duty tournament planned in the recreation room, so I'll be heading up there." He said, deliberately not mentioning who he was going to be playing with, not wanting to say anything to ruin the happy conversation they had been having.

Penny laughed, "Some things never change."

Leonard chuckled back in agreement and Penny smiled until she heard a knock on her door. Wondering who it was, she got out of bed and walked over. "Hold on sweetie, someone's at the door." She said into the phone before peeking out the peephole to see two dishevelled looking figures standing there, making her giggle. She opened the door, and let Bernadette and Amy in, gesturing to the phone as they walked past her. "I'm talking to Leonard," She said and the girls nodded as they slumped down on her sofa. Penny took that as a cue to finish her conversation and walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. "The girls are here, and for once, they actually look worse than me!"

Leonard chuckled, "Okay, I'll let you go then, enjoy the rest of your hangover."

"I'm not hung over." She replied trying to sound as sincere as she could, until a small laugh left her mouth. "Bye baby." She put the phone to her lips and gave it a loud kiss, then smiled at the sound of his laughter on the other side. "I love you."

"I love you too. Will I call you tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, bye honey."

There was a moment after those words where both of them continued to hold the phone to their ears. Each of them wondering if the other was going to say something else, and neither of them wanting to be the first one to hang up.

At the sound of the two girls in the other room giggling, Penny hung her head and pulled the phone from her ear, touching the 'end' button before throwing it onto her bed. She loudly groaned at the pain in her chest that still came after every single call, and dragged herself out of her room, shoulders slouched and her bottom lip slightly pouted.

"Amy wants to know what you done with her Superman." Bernadette giggled as she turned her head around to face Penny, her smile dropping as soon as she saw Penny's sad demeanour. "You okay?"

Penny looked up and gave a half-smile her friends' way. "I'm fine." She said as she walked over to the kitchen to grab some water bottles for them all. "So, not that I don't love you guys just dropping by unannounced, but what are you doing here?"

"Howie was coming over to see Sheldon, so I got him to pick up Amy when he was going to get Raj so we could all be hung over together." Bernadette replied as she took a bottle from Penny's hand.

"I actually just wanted to get my Superman back." Amy said with a grin as she looked around the apartment and took her bottle from Penny. "What did you do with him?"

"He's in the bedroom." Penny said, her voice still low and sad as pointed her hand to the doorway, "How did I end up with him anyway?"

"We decided as a group that you should take it home because Sheldon or Howie might get jealous if one of us came home with another man." Bernadette recalled, "I don't know where that logic came from, but that's what we decided."

Penny nodded, faintly remembering the conversation that seemed to make perfect sense at the time, as she sat down in the middle spot on the sofa, between the two girls and let out a loud sigh. "Well, Amy, you can have him back now, the thing scared the crap out of me this morning." She gently laughed, remembering the fright that had resulted in her throwing her teddy at it earlier, before shifting her body to rest her head on Bernadette's lap, and her legs up and over Amy.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Amy asked, glancing over at Bernadette with a look full of concern for her sad friend.

"I'm fine." She replied blankly. "I just always get a little down after talking to him. Just give me a few minutes and I'll be alright." She said with a shrug, hoping that would be enough to satisfy them and they would stop questioning her.

"You know if you want to talk about it, we're here." Bernadette said as she touched her hand to her head.

Penny closed her eyes. "Please, Bernie, stop." She pleaded, as a small lump formed in her throat. It was bad enough that she had only just gotten off the phone with him, but her friends' concern, as touching as it was, only made her feel just that bit more sorry for herself. "Can we just watch television or something? I need something to take my mind off him for a while."

"Sure." Bernadette nodded towards Amy who reached out for the remote and turned on the television.

The next couple of hours were spent flicking through channels, watching various comedies and sitcoms, perking Penny's mood up considerably. The girls began to talk and joke about the previous night, and Penny showed them the pictures they had taken, that she had sent to Leonard that night, finding the ones of them doing their superhero poses the most amusing. She even told them about the texts she had sent him, deciding that the story of how the autocorrect had changed certain words was funny enough to be worth the few seconds of embarrassment she felt over actually sending those sorts of texts.

"I wonder where I'm going to put him." Amy said a while later as she looked at the Superman that had been moved over to the free space beside the stools at Penny's breakfast bar.

"We all know where he's going Amy," Penny said with a laugh, "Right at the foot of your bed!"

Amy sighed, "Yeah… maybe."

Penny and Bernadette giggled at the dreamy expression on Amy's face.

"I think we should go see it again." Amy added, her eyes still focused on the static figure.

"No," Penny replied, rolling her eyes. "I think once is enough sweetie."

"You could take Sheldon to see it." Bernadette added with a wide smile. "Maybe sit up at the back," She raised her eyebrows, "maybe your hand accidently misses as you're reaching for your drink…"

Amy shook her head. "Tried it. My hand got his knee and he implemented a rule that my beverages have to stay on the opposite side to him to prevent any more unwanted and unnecessary touching."

"God that man is crazy sometimes." Penny said, shaking her head.

Amy nodded her agreement, "Yeah," She smiled as she turned away from Superman and back to the girls, "but he's getting better."

The girls returned the smile, and then Penny began to flick through the channels again. While she was searching for a programme, Bernadette got up and went to the bathroom, returning with Penny's bed covers in hand.

"Have you found something yet?" She asked as she threw one half of the covers over Penny and Amy.

"Yup, Friends."

"Again?"

Penny shrugged, "There's nothing else on. Plus, I don't think I've seen this one before."

At this, the three girls quietened down, pulling the covers over them and resting their feet on the coffee table.

As the minutes passed and the show went on, Penny found herself becoming more and more engrossed in the scenes playing out in front of her. She had never been a huge fan of this show. Sure, she had watched and enjoyed it when she had a spare few minutes of her day to kill, but as with almost everything in her life, Leonard, her family, friends, and possibly Game of Thrones, being the only exceptions, she just wasn't that bothered by it. She never got the passion that came with being overly attached to the characters, she never felt her heart beat with anticipation over what was going to happen and she never got sucked into the storyline, but today was different.

For whatever reason, as she watched Monica freak out over her relationship with Chandler, and go running back to her ex for some sort of comfort, for a brief few seconds she felt herself become drawn in, hoping and wishing that she made the right decision. As the time passed that feeling only grew, and at the end of the episode, while she watched Chandler walk into a dark apartment filled with light from dozens of little candles scattered everywhere, and Monica stood at the other end of the room, hands clasped in anticipation, her eyes watered and her heart raced.

She gripped the sheets in front of her, and her heart almost stopped when she watched Monica drop down on one knee and begin a tear filled proposal. In that moment she wondered how it would feel to do the same, how scary and nerve wracking the whole experience of completely putting yourself out there for someone else must feel.

Her eyes watched as Chandler knelt down beside her and finished off what she had been trying to say, but her mind wandered away from what was on the screen, and on to how Leonard would react when she done the same.

When she done the same. She was sure that was the first time she had ever thought of it and used the word 'when' instead of 'if'.

The whole idea of doing it still terrified her. The single thought of 'forever' still freaked her out beyond belief, and she still wasn't even sure she understood why that was. But she knew that she wanted to marry him. If this past month had shown her anything, it was that she never wanted to have to be without him again and that no matter how terrifying it was to think of 'forever', the thought of not having him in her future was even scarier.

A small smile crept over her face as the couple on the television embraced and kissed, and Penny closed her eyes to keep the few tears rimming her eyes from falling.

One day she would do it. She had no idea when that was, be it months or years from now, but one day she would get the courage she needed and she would ask him, just like Monica did.

All she had to do was get over her fear of 'forever' first.