Chapter 38 - Fears -Part 2

"You're not the only one to be worried about Rachel!" He said, standing up and raising his voice slightly "Damn! It's even my daughter!" He shouted "It's a pre-term birth what you want? ... To have even Grace as well as Rachel in the ICU?" He screamed again "All right! Look at you! Are you or not a doctor? Don't worry, Cuddy... I think you're gonna be satisfied!" He screamed again, glaring at her before getting up and exited the room, slamming the door and leaving her alone.

Cuddy looked at the office door and felt a lump in her throat as tears came back rolling down her cheeks. She buried her face in her hands as she let herself go, unable to hold back her sobs.

House stopped in front of the elevator door and thumped the wall. The pain subsided his anger only slightly. He ran a hand over his face and through his hair as he stared at the elevator closed doors.

...

"At least one of us should avoid being an idiot"

She looked up at the sound of his voice. She hadn't heard him come in.

"Typically the idiot is ME, Cuddy!" he said looking into her eyes "... but apparently there are exceptions..."

His tone was firm but not hard, nor angry as before. House watched her as she couldn't stop crying and couldn't help but sit near her and stroke her back.

"Take these..." he said handing her a glass of water and a couple of pills.

"I-I have no pain, Greg..." she whispered looking at the pills in his hand and then into his eyes "I'm not so much an idiot..."

"But you need some rest and sleep..." he said

Cuddy kept to look at him.

"Ritodrine and Lorazepam" he said, practically reading her thought "Take them! Or I swear I'm going to give you them intravenously, Cuddy!" he said in a serious tone.

She looked at him again and reached for the glass, taking the pills from his hand. She swallowed them, then closing her eyes and leaning back against the backrest of the couch trying to calm down.

"If Ritodrine has no effect ... I'm going to admit you. With or against your will!" House added in the same serious tone, looking at her as she leaned back and putting a hand on her stomach.

Cuddy immediately opened her eyes glaring at him "Are you checking me, House?" She said with a serious look, biting her lip.

"No..." he said in a softer tone, pulling her to him and making her lie down resting her head on his legs.

"The last thing we need now is to be one against the other, Lisa. Try to relax..." he said, stroking her belly.

...

"Lisa ..." House shook her gently trying to wake her up.

Cuddy opened her eyes. She felt dazed as if she had slept for days. She looked around. She could see the light seep in through the window blinds, so for sure she had slept at least for several hours... and she felt better. Physically better ... but the fears of the night before surfaced immediately and a lump closed her throat again.

"Lisa ..." House called her again and she met his eyes.

... Rachel... she thought, suddenly sitting up on the couch

"What happened?" She asked unable to hide her anxiety "H-how is she?" She asked again as the tone of her voice betrayed her fear.

"The second CT scan is negative." He said, stroking her belly "Richardson reduced her medication a few hours ago..."

Cuddy looked at him and nodded, however unable to speak while her eyes misted with tears again.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"I...er... better..." she whispered.

She stroked his stubble and looked into his eyes, biting her lip.

"Thanks..." she whispered "... for being here... for being strong... for me..." she added "... I... I know I have to be strong... I would... but... I feel so... so... " her voice broke and he took her in his arms letting her to hide her face against his chest as tears damped his shirt.

House stayed silent but kissed her hair as he stroked her back.

They both had a tendency to isolate themselves in times of grief. To face problems alone. They tended to repel each other as if they were afraid to show their own weakness. Facing problems together was something new for both of them.

House's phone rang and Cuddy raised her head to look at him as he took the call.

"House" he said into the receiver listening to the voice on the phone and looking at Cuddy "Ok. We're coming" he said glancing at her and running a hand over his face failing to prevent his own eyes from becoming misty.

"G-Greg ..?" she whispered, feeling short of breath as he closed the phone call.

"She's awake..." he said indulging in a smile as he pulled her closer to him holding her in his arms.

A week later...

...

"I talked to Richardson and Kendal" House said entering Rachel's hospital room and looking at Cuddy sitting next to their daughter. "She's going to be dismiss in the afternoon" he added, putting an arm around her and stroking her shoulder with his thumb.

Cuddy smiled.

"Are you happy, Sweetheart?" She asked looking at her little girl, focused on eating her strawberry jelly.

Rachel nodded with a big smile.

"Is Teddy going home with us?" Rachel asked, pointing to the white teddy bear that Wilson had given her.

"Did you named it Teddy?" House asked with a smile.

Rachel smiled and nodded.

"Like Uncle Wilson's giwlfwiend" she added

House let out a laugh and Cuddy looked at him laughing in turn.

"Sure, Honey, it's coming too" she said, stroking her head.

House entered the bedroom and looked at Lisa and Rachel lying down on the bed. Cuddy on the one side of the bed, Rachel in the middle. And he lay down near Rachel.

"Am I wrong, or there's an intruder here?" he asked seriously but letting out a laugh as he stroked Rachel's hair.

Rachel sat up putting her arms around his neck and straddling on his chest with a big smile.

"Pleeeeeease daddy... may I sleep here? Pleeeeeease!" She said smacking a big kiss on his face.

House laughed and tickled her.

"Two for one" House said laughing looking at Cuddy.

"Three" Cuddy corrected him, laughing in turn.

House laughed again and looked at Rachel.

"Just for tonight, Shorty" he said giving her a kiss on the forehead as she curled up between him and her mother.

They both kept to look at her as she fell asleep. Both lying on the side resting the head on the palm. Cuddy stroked her back, her eyes fixed on the little girl just listening to her quiet breathing. House looked at them both. He put his hand over Cuddy's one caressing her arm and she raised her eyes meeting his.

"How we'd have done, Greg... without her?" she whispered, biting her lip.

House looked at her continuing to stroke her arm and moved closer to her, kissing her lightly on the lips.

"Don't think about it..." he replied "...it's not going to happen..."

She stopped the hand that stroked Rachel moving instead it on his face.

"Those two days..." she said looking into his eyes and biting her lip again "... they were the longest of my life..."

"I know ..." he said "... for me too..."

Cuddy stayed silent and looked at Rachel as she slept peacefully between them.

"I couldn't have ever done it... without you..." she whispered avoiding eye contact.

House didn't answered and kept to look at her as she kept watching Rachel.

"It's this..." Cuddy whispered breaking the silence again after a few seconds.

"What?" he asked as her eyes met his again.

"For better and for worse..." she whispered, biting her lip "... it's this ..." she said smiling slightly.

House smiled and moved a strand of hair from her face, stroking her face with his thumb.

"Yes, it's this." He answered

He looked at Rachel curled between them thinking about how much things had changed in recent months. They were his family. Rachel was his daughter, and he didn't care if she wasn't biologically his... she was his daughter. And Lisa... he had been loving that woman for twenty years... a vow recited by heart in front of a State Officer would not changed things... for him, it was as if she already were his wife.

He moved closer to her wrapping her with his arm and kept to look at her,lost in the gray-blue of her eyes.

"I don't need a vow to know that I'll love you every day of my life, Lisa..." he added "Simply... I can't help it" he said, repeating the same words she had told him the night she had declared her love to him for the first time.

She smiled and touched his lips with hers.

"I never could help it" she repeated on his lips touching his tongue with hers.

She let his tongue explore her mouth deeply and slowly and abandoned herself in that long kiss that dissolved all her fears.