February 25th 1978 began much like any other day, at least it did for Alice. She woke up early and went for a run; it was a new thing she'd taken up. At five thirty her alarm went off, pulling her from bed unwillingly, and she changed into her running gear half asleep. It was still dark outside. An owl hooted in the distance, the trees bristled in the cool winter wind. Alice didn't mind, though. She jogged all down along the edge of the Great Lake and up by Hagrid's hut.
She liked running. It was something freeing, something that she felt she had total control of. Her heart pounded in her ears and her breath came out a stream of white fog but she felt good. As she jogged up towards the castle once more she saw the slightest hint of light in the sky. The best thing about early morning runs – no one was awake to see her come in all sweaty. Alice could gracefully hurry up to Gryffindor Tower and jump in the shower before anyone had even entered the Great Hall for breakfast.
She went bounding up the staircase, taking a turn on the second floor and pushing open the tapestry, which led to a quicker, less populated, route to Gryffindor Tower. Alice expected the corridor to be empty, as usual, but was unpleasantly surprised to find quite the opposite. Fabian was backed up against a wall locked in a tight embrace with Everett, the pair kissing passionately. Alice wondered if she might be dreaming.
"What the fuck," she cursed, the pair jumping apart quicker than the speed of light.
"Alice," Everett began, the young witch staring at the pair of them with her mouth hung open. She had to be dreaming. There was no way such a thing could be possible. Fabian and Everett? It made not a speck of sense in her brain.
"Please don't tell anyone," Fabian begged, leaping forward. Alice was in shock. She continued to stare at the pair, silently struggling to put together coherent words.
"Alice…" Everett began, slowly moving towards her; she jumped backwards, a blazing look in her eyes.
"Do not come near me," she warned him, his face falling. She looked towards Fabian now. Sweet, kind, always-there-to-listen Fabian. The guy who'd swept Lily off her feet when they were sixteen, the guy she hadn't seen around much in the past few months…
"What the hell are you doing, Fabian?" she asked, struggling to understand anything that was going on. "With him, of all people."
"He's not that guy, Alice," Fabian tried desperately to explain, "he's different with me, the whole asshole thing is just an image." There were tears in Fabian's warm eyes. "Please don't tell anyone."
"I don't care if you're gay, Fabian," Alice assured him.
"Bisexual, actually," Fabian corrected her.
"Right, sorry. Anyway, I care that you'd let yourself get swept off your feet by him," she pointed at Everett accusingly. "He's scum."
Everett turned to her with a cold look in his eyes. "Hey-"
"Are you going to deny it?" she snapped at him. "You went around and wasted no time telling the whole school I'd shagged you. Did you take anytime to wonder what the implications of that might be? Did you ever think of what that might do to me?" Everett bowed his head guiltily.
"No," he answered honestly, catching Alice by surprise. She was so used to his quick responses, his darting away from responsibility. She was waiting for him to come back and somehow blame her for it all but he never did. "It was wrong. What I did to you this fall was wrong." Alice was sure she looked like she'd just seen a ghost she was in such shock.
"He's not that guy," Fabian said, stepping forward, to Everett's side. Alice studied the pair, their arms touching, both of them staring at her with round eyes filled with terror.
"What about Lily…I thought…"
"I did love her," Fabian told her, "I really did. When she left me for James I was heartbroken. Then I met Everett. I had some choice words for him after what he did to you, but then we got talking and we realized we had all the same interests and liked all the same things. I don't know what happened. All I know is that we ended up spending time together over the holidays and…"
"You don't need to explain the rest," Alice said, quite able to connect the dots herself.
"It was easier to let everyone believe I was staying away because I was still in love with Lily, and not because…" Fabian's eyes met Everett's and smiles tugged at both of their lips. Alice could not believe what she was witnessing - Everett Jenkins being a decent human being. In the moment she found herself actually liking him.
"What's the plan then?" she asked the pair, crossing her arms. "Are you going to tell people? I mean you can't keep sneaking around like this, and you can't keep making Lily feel so guilty when you've clearly moved on." The smile disappeared from Fabian's face and he gulped nervously.
"We only have a few months of school left, it's pointless to tell everyone and be attacked ruthlessly for it. We just want to keep it like this, at least until we can leave and really be together."
"I understand that," Alice assured them. "I really do, but the people who love you at least deserve to know. They'd be glad to see you were happy with someone, even if it is Everett," Alice turned her nose up at the Ravenclaw wizard.
"Thanks, Griffith."
Alice heard a few people moving about behind the tapestry, probably headed for breakfast in The Great Hall. She sighed, turning back to the boys.
"I won't tell anyone," she promised, "and I am happy for you two." They both smiled.
"Thank you Alice," Fabian sighed, throwing his arms around her gratefully. She stared at Everett over his shoulder. It was hard for her face not to fall into a cold scowl whenever she laid eyes on him. Everett gave her a small smile mouthing the words "thank you." Maybe this was where Alice exercised a little forgiveness and understanding, the kind of things she wanted from others. "It's fine," she mouthed right back.
Lily had come down to breakfast early and found all four Marauders sat in the center of the Gryffindor table, chatting over breakfast. She plopped down beside James, giving his hair a little ruffle.
"Morning." She smiled at the group.
"Hey Moony, remember when Prongs used to mess up his hair anytime Lily came within a ten meter radius?" Sirius asked with amusement. Remus smirked.
"Yeah, and remember how she used to make fun of him for it?"
"And now she's the one doing it for him," Peter piped in with a grin.
"Ha, ha," Lily taunted them, "there is a fine line between me affectionately ruffling James' hair and him arrogantly doing it." James gasped beside her.
"You're insulting me first thing in the morning!"
"Sorry love, someone's got to try and keep that ego in check," she told her boyfriend, planting a quick kiss on his lips before stealing the piece of toast he'd just buttered and smeared jam all over for himself.
"This was not how I envisioned winning Lily Evans would look," James pouted, slouching in his seat.
"Cheer up Prongs, you do get all the other things you always dreamed of though, don't you?" Lily nearly spat out the toast in her mouth. Remus stared at Sirius with raised eyebrows, not looking nearly as amused as James did as he high fived his friend.
"You two are horrible!" Lily cried in horror.
"What? I'm talking about your wonderful personality and bright smile. What a dirty mind you've got, Evans," Sirius replied in mock offence. James chuckled, wrapping his arm around Lily's shoulder, snatching a bite from his stolen toast.
"Don't be too hard on her, she hasn't even had her morning dosage of caffeine."
"I think Lily can take Sirius on just fine," Remus assured his friend over the top of his history book. "She and Marlene both have that talent." This time it was Sirius nearly spitting out his food, Lily stifling a laugh.
"How're you and Leila doing?" she asked, changing the subject. Remus appeared to tense up across the table at the mention of his girlfriend.
"We made up after the whole Valentine's Day fiasco," he told them all, "but I don't know, I suppose things still feel... off?" Lily frowned, leaning into James' side.
"Well you cleared up the fight, but did you clear up the problem? It's like putting a Band-Aid over a bullet wound-"
"A what?" James, Sirius, and Peter all asked in unison.
"Really, you three paid no attention in Muggle Studies," Remus sighed.
"What I'm trying to say is just that Remus needs to address what's really upsetting Leila if he wants things to go back to normal."
"This bird seems like a lot of trouble for very little pay off," Sirius warned his friend. Remus glared at him.
"You go through the trouble when you care about someone," he informed his friend rather curtly, "maybe you should actually try a real relationship before you judge."
"Do you need some ice for that burn?" James whispered to his friend. Lily struggled not to laugh.
"See if I tried a real relationship I'd be stuck in the same predicament as you, now wouldn't I, Moony?" Sirius reminded Remus. "And that's exactly why I don't want to try monogamy out." Just then the owls came swooping in with mail, the whole Great Hall lifting with noise as students excitedly awaited their delivers. Lily looked up to see her white and brown spotted owl Apollo swooping down towards her.
"Mail!" she exclaimed cheerfully.
"What've you got?" James asked as Lily's owl landed down before her, allowing her to delicately tug out the letter she had clutched in her beak. Apollo stood waiting, obviously wanting a little sign of gratitude for the long journey. Only Lily would end up with a diva for a pet owl.
"Here," James sighed, ripping off a small piece of toast for her. "You have to stop spoiling your owl, y'know."
"She gets mad when I don't give her treats!" Lily cried defensively as Apollo happily flew away. James stared over her shoulder as Lily peeled open the envelope addressed to her, pulling out a white and frilly wedding invitation.
"Oh Merlin," she groaned, hating the extravagance of the whole thing. The frills, the ridiculous love quotes she doubted Petunia had heard of before seeing them on the card. Anyway, who sent a wedding invitation to their own sister? It felt wrong. She thought Petunia should have just assumed she'd be coming; they were family after all.
"Oh!" Lily cried with delight upon opening the card up. "A plus one. Want to be my date?" she asked, turning to James beside her.
"Hell yes."
"Don't tell anyone though," she whispered, "my boyfriend is kind of a jealous guy." James couldn't help but smile at her joke.
"I'll keep it between us," he promised her, leaning in for another kiss before they were interrupted abruptly.
"Holy shit," Sirius cursed. Lily and James looked back towards the group quickly, realizing what had caught everyone's attention. The Daily Prophet was laid out in the center of the table, it's front cover hard to miss.
Hundreds Missing After Death Eater Attack in Ministry
Lily's stomach plummeted, she wasn't quite sure it was even still in her body. The image on the cover was haunting. An office, torn apart, and right there, in the forefront of the photograph, lay a limp body across the paper littered floor.
"This is unbelievable," Lily said in shock, her hand around her mouth. She was shocked, yes, horrified even, but the look upon James' face was of something completely different. All of the Marauders stared at him with a kind of nervousness Lily couldn't quite understand.
"What?" she demanded, her fear only growing. Remus turned his eyes towards her, tired and sad.
"That's a picture of the Auror Department," he explained. It took a minute before the information really made any sense to Lily.
"Oh no," she said, her eyes turning to James beside her. His face had fallen and been drained of any colour as he looked down at the paper before them all.
"James-" Lily began but had jumped up from the table, rushing out of the hall. "They can't be missing," Lily told the group, shaking her head in denial, "there's no way the Potters are dead." No one looked wholly convinced.
"The last conversation we had with them…" Sirius bowed his head in shame. "They were furious at him, at both of us. If they're gone…"
"James will never forgive himself," Remus finished for him, a sullen look upon his face.
"I'm going after him," Lily announced jumping up.
"Lily I'm not sure that's a good idea-" Remus tried to warn her, but she didn't care. She went bolting down out of the Great Hall, chasing after her messy haired boyfriend. She searched the Entrance Hall to no avail and then pushed open the door to the courtyard. She found James sat alone on one of the benches, his face in his hands.
She moved towards him cautiously, the sound of his sobs making her heart break. Lily paused before him, her arms wrapped around herself to protect her from the nipping cold.
"James," she spoke softly, "please talk to me babe." He remained silent, worrying Lily more. She knew better than anyone the feeling of losing a parent, or worse, the feeling of knowing you soon might. She moved forward, sitting down beside him on the bench. If he didn't want to speak that was okay, she'd just sit with him as long as it took.
"I can't lose them," he sobbed, his face surfacing up from his hands. His cheeks were wet and his eyes swollen from all the tears. Lily practically threw her arms around him. There was no worse pain to her than seeing those she loved hurting. What killed her most about this was that there was nothing she could do to save him. All she could do was hold James' hand and hope the pain would go away.
He buried his face into her chest, Lily wrapped her arms around him as he continued to cry. Her face tightened as she used every ounce of strength within her to hold back her own tears. It was hard not to crumble as she watched James, her rock, falling apart. She had to be the strong one now.
"I've got you," she promised him. "You're going to be okay." It was the best she could do, the small token she could offer, and it wasn't enough.
Marlene hated mornings. She hated being buzzed awake by the sound of an alarm, she hated having to climb from beneath her warm covers and even worse – changing into her tight and uncomfortable clothes for the day. When it was up to her the morning was eleven a.m.
This morning she ignored her alarm three times and was instead woken by the sound of someone slamming the dormitory room door on their way out, probably on purpose. Marlene took her sweet time despite it. She took an extra long, extra steamy shower, she took an extra ten minutes to pick out her outfit, and then another after that to get her hair and makeup together.
She was thirty minutes late for class by the time she came striding down the stairs, not a care in her mind. She had Flitwick first and he was much more lenient that McGonagall, she could charm her way out of detention with him. Except Marlene never got the chance to make her way to Flitwick's class. Instead, waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, was a rather solemn looking Sirius. The look up his face made Marlene's stomach plummet.
"Don't say it," she begged him, her voice growing small. She could tell it was bad news and she didn't have the stomach to hear it. He stared over at her, gulping anxiously.
"There was an attack in the Auror Department," he explained. Marlene couldn't breathe. Sirius seemed to be going in and out of focus. There'd already been too much lose, too much sorrow, for her to have witnessed at seventeen. "There are countless missing, they set off an explosion in the Auror's office, it was mess." Her mother was an Auror. Marlene stood rather still as the world appeared to spin around her. Was this what being in shock felt like? She blinked rapidly, trying hard to focus in on Sirius' face.
"Marlene?" She heard him say her name but it sounded like it was coming from a mile away.
"Oh." The word escaped her mouth and then she lost her footing and went toppling over, Sirius catching her in his arms.
"You're okay," he assured her, Marlene feeling quite the opposite. He tried for a moment to get her to stand upright again but she just went weak at the knees once more. Finally he scooped her up, gathering her in his arms. He smelt familiar and something about it calmed Marlene down a little more. He laid her down on the couch, kneeling beside her head.
"Just breath Marls," he begged her, "you have to breath." Marlene stared at him, looking deep into his icy grey eyes. All she wanted to do was kiss him. She wanted to reach out press her lips to his and find her center. She was in shock; she needed something to remind her of the present. But no, she couldn't, it was wrong. They'd "called it", they'd vowed to be friends. She couldn't screw that up now.
"Okay," she said, exhaling deeply, "tell me what to do." With a little support she sat upright, her hands resting atop her knees.
"Danny… I don't think he knows…" Sirius explained nervously, his eyes facing the floor. Marlene couldn't get the image of her mother out of her mind. Cleaning her up after a day spent running around in the garden, holding her hand when she was afraid. The thought of her lying dead somewhere was too painful to possibly bear.
"Right," Marlene replied shakily. "I have to tell him then, don't I?"
"Yes," he told her honestly.
It took another twenty minutes to get Marlene off the couch. Sirius walked all the way to McGonagall's room with her, neither of them saying a word the whole journey. Marlene thought the less she said the more chance there was that nothing bad might happen. Maybe that was foolish, she didn't care.
"This is going to break him," she admitted, terrified, outside the doors of McGonagall's class.
"Not if it comes from you," Sirius promised her. Marlene looked up at him, hoping he could be right. She took a shaky step forward, knocking on the door. McGonagall appeared five seconds later, frowning deeply upon finding Marlene.
"Are you here for your brother?" She nodded. "McKinnon," McGonagall called behind her, "come here please." Danny appeared at the door in seconds. His blue eyes darted from her to Sirius in silent curiosity.
"I need to speak to you," Marlene told him, sighing heavily. Professor McGonagall slipped back into the classroom, shutting the door behind her.
"What's he doing here?" Danny asked, nodding his head towards Sirius.
"Danny," Marlene's voice cracked, "there was an attack in the Ministry." Danny's face fell. "Mom… well, she might be missing. There's no word yet." He stayed very still at first and then suddenly his round blue eyes filled up with tears and his mouth gaped open.
"How…" Marlene leapt forward, throwing her arms around her younger brother. She didn't have the luxury of breaking down, not now. Her job was to protect him. So that was what she did. She held him tight, rubbing his back comfortingly.
"It's going to be alright," she promised him. Sirius stood in front of her and she stared over Danny's shoulder at him. She wanted to say something to him, to explain how much it'd meant that he'd come, but she didn't. Instead she just stared at him endlessly as her brother continued to break down in her arms. Neither of them looked away, holding one another's gaze and in that moment Marlene truly believed things might be okay.
Peter sat in James' dorm room with the rest of the Marauders and Lily. They were all crowded around the radio James had turned up, listening for any news on the attack. It was hard for Peter to resist sitting anxiously, biting at his fingernails. He couldn't tell his friends what was gnawing away at his insides and that killed him.
"Do we know why these attacks took place?" The radio host was interviewing the Minister for Magic - Harold Minchum - about the events.
"Of course we do," he replied with an air of annoyance, "it's Voldemort." The host gasped in horror. "My apologizes, You-Know-Who and his gang of Death Eaters. They don't like that our Auror Department is onto them and so they're fighting back. This isn't the first time they've done something like this and it won't be the last." Peter's stomach knotted anxiously. He wanted it to be the last. He couldn't handle living in this world of perpetual fear; he didn't want to have to fight a war. What he wanted was a nice simple life away from all this fighting.
"Can you give us an estimate on how many are missing?" the host asked. Minchum took a pause that Peter didn't think meant anything good.
"I will not lie to you, there was extensive damage to our Auror Department. It's impossible for us to have a solid estimate at the moment. Our aurors are incredibly strong and courageous workers and I have no doubt that they'll come through this fighting. Right now we're just moving through the mess, getting people taken to St. Mungo's and figuring out who isn't called for. It's a work in progress but we should have more definite answers by the end of the day."
"This is shit," James cursed, switching off the radio. Peter was thankful for the action, he couldn't listen to anymore of it. "I have to wait till the end of the day to find out if my parents are even alive?"
"They're doing the best they can, James," Remus began cautiously.
"It's not enough."
"You're not the only one with family missing, mate," Sirius reminded James, a pointed look in his eyes. Peter was sat on the carpet, his back leaning against the end of James' bed. The only person facing him was Remus, a notion he found calming. No one around could see the paling of his skin or the fact that he kept wiping his sweaty palms across his pant legs.
"I can't just sit around like this, I…" James began with aggravation.
"What are you trying to say?" Lily asked him nervously.
"I don't know Lily," James snapped, hopping off his bed, "but I'm not just going to sit in this castle while my parents are possibly in trouble."
"Please tell me you're not thinking about showing up at the Ministry," Lily pleaded with him. James' pause was answer enough. "Do not do that," she begged him, "please James. Do not throw yourself into the belly of danger just because you're afraid. It's not fair." He remained silent. "James!" Lily pressed him. "Please."
"Okay," James agreed, "I won't." A small sigh of relief escaped Lily's lips.
"There'll be news soon," Remus assured everyone, "then we can all know for certain what's going on. Until then we just have to wait, as painful as it is." The door to the room flew open, Alice standing in the doorway with a frazzled look upon her face.
"The prefects are all gathered in the office, they want to do something for the students who're affected by all of this," she explained, running a hand through her short brown hair.
"You stay here, I'll go talk to them," Lily told James, turning to leave the room. "I'll be back soon, okay?"
"Okay," James agreed glumly.
"We'll take care of him," Sirius promised her before Lily hesitantly left the room. Peter's hand wrapped around the piece of parchment shoved in his pocket that was causing him so much grief. He'd memorized the words etched onto it…
"What about a game of Exploding Snaps?" Sirius suggested lightly. "We could play a prank like we always used to in the good old days. We don't play pranks quite as much now, do we?"
"Just stop," James told his friend, plopping back down onto the bed. Peter felt faint now. He considered standing up and excusing himself. He could just slip away for a few hours, catch a break. Maybe that would help.
"Is that an owl?" Remus asked, drawing everyone's attention towards the window. James leapt forward, throwing the latch open, letting the feathered creature in. A pulled a letter from it's beak, tearing it open.
"Your mother and I are safe. Meet us at St. Mungo's as soon as possible," James read allowed to the group, everyone sighing with relief. "I have to go," James exclaimed, rushing around the room at a rapid speed. Now Peter stood up from his spot on the floor, watching his friend anxiously. James grabbed his wand and threw on his jacket. His hand grasped the parchment a little tighter.
"Prongs…" Sirius began hesitantly, "just wait-"
"Sirius, they're alive! They're safe!" Sirius looked back at Remus and Peter nervously, his eyes begging for assistance.
"If you're leaving we're coming with you," Remus spoke up for the group. Peter hoped his dread didn't appear on his face. The last thing he wanted to do was join in on another potentially dangerous adventure. No, Peter wanted to stay planted safely inside the walls of Hogwarts. James' face dropped.
"You guys…"
"We're not letting you run off to St. Mungo's alone," Sirius told him stubbornly. James didn't look particularly pleased about the idea but there wasn't enough time for him to argue.
"Fine," he agreed. "We take the map and cloak and apparate out of Hogsmeade."
"Deal."
"I just-" Peter began, speaking up for the first time in the whole conversation. "I've got to grab something from my trunk. I'll be one minute."
"I am not waiting around for you, Wormtail," James warned him.
"I'll be quick, I swear."
"Alright, go, fast," James told his friend, Peter scurrying from the room. He slammed the dormitory door behind him, breathing heavily. Alone he pulled the parchment from his pocket, flattening it out.
I can't wait to see you soon, Petey. Just another week and I'll be visiting you in Hogsmeade (how wonderful!) I may not have another chance to write you before, this next week is going to be quite busy… there's a big surprise coming… I'm excited about it, if I'm being honest.
Love always,
Aldora
The letter had made little sense to him when he'd received it but it all seemed to be coming into light now. Things were not looking good for Peter.
The Great Hall had become a hub of sorts for students excused from class due to the attack at the Ministry. Emmeline, of course, had no connection to any of it. Her parents were hardly ever in the country, let alone at the Ministry of Magic. Somehow though she'd found herself wandering into the Hall, watching the students sat around in tears or in silent contemplation, as prefects went around to help them.
She stood in the center of the room, frowning. It was much quieter than usual, not filled with quite the same bustle she was used to. She heard a quiet snuffle and looked to her side to see a young Hufflepuff student crying on the side of a bench.
"Are you alright?" she asked, crouching down before the pigtailed girl in front of her. She lifted her round face, her eyes bloodshot and swollen.
"My mummy is dead," she explained, her hands shaking.
"Oh, you don't know that yet," Emmeline tried to reassure her, reaching out a hand to squeeze her shoulder.
"No," she shook her head, "I know she's gone, I… I can feel it…" Emmeline bit her lip nervously.
"Sometimes I have feelings too… sometimes our feelings can be wrong." The girl's eyes were filled with such fear. "Maybe you're wrong," Emmeline assured her. "Maybe your mom is just fine." The girl's lips trembled.
"What if she's not? What if she is… dead?" The word made the young girl shudder.
"Then you figure things out from there," she told her earnestly. It was hard for Emmeline not to break into tears just staring at the devastation upon the small Hufflepuff's face. She was so young, most likely only a first year, how could she already be witnessing this much destruction? Emmeline stood up, a lump forming in her throat.
"I'll be back," she told the girl, staggering from the Great Hall. The scene made her feel sick to her stomach, all these kids in so much pain. War had come and they were fools to think it was anything different. They would carry this weight with them the rest of their lives.
"Emmeline?" She looked up to see Gideon approaching her in the Entrance Hall, his brown eyes filled with worry.
"How does this happen?" she asked in horror. Gideon reached his hands out, steadying her by the shoulders. Emmeline hadn't realized she was shaking. "This is just the beginning," she asked, "isn't it?"
"I don't know." She knew by the look in his eyes he was just going easy on her. He did know, they all did. They hid behind the safety of Hogwarts but soon the castle would be left behind and they'd be on their own in the thick of it.
"I can't…" Emmeline struggled to get in a proper breath, her chest tightening, her throat closing up. Panic dawned upon her face. Gideon took her by either side, holding her steady.
"Breathe, Em, just breathe." She couldn't though, she couldn't breathe because it felt like the whole world was slowly closing in on her. Her palms were sweaty and her heart raced in her chest. Slowly Gideon pulled her from the castle, leading her out into the courtyard where she could catch a fuller breath with the fresh air. Her violet eyes looked up at Gideon, widened in fear.
"You're okay," he told her, clutching her face in his hands. In her moment of panic Emmeline jumped forward, pressing her lips to Gideon. It was random and impulsive and exactly what she'd wanted to do since forming an attraction to him over winter break. After a few seconds he pulled away, his eyes wide with surprise.
"Whoa," he said, pressing his fingers to his lips.
"I…" What had she done? What had she done!?
"I did not realize you felt that way." Emmeline's mouth fell open. Suddenly she was panicking but for an entirely different reason.
"I'm so sorry," she apologized, "that was really stupid of me."
"Don't apologize," Gideon assured her. "Really."
"I'm always such an idiot about these things. Please just… forget I ever did that?"
"Emmeline…"
"Honestly you don't have to give me some silly excuse about how you think I'm really great but you don't see me in that way. It's fine Gideon, I really do understand. I'm just… a little embarrassed right now..." Emmeline was slowly backing away from the scene. "I'm just going to go," she explained, Gideon continuing to stare at her with a mixture of shock and pity until she turned her back and quickly rushed off.
Lily was in panic mode. After her meeting with the prefects she'd been wrangled into spending the next hour in the Great Hall, helping to organize all the students. Her mind had been with James the whole time but as Head Girl she felt responsible to help make sure everything ran smoothly before she rushed off.
Now she was panicking because James Potter was nowhere to be found. He wasn't in the dormitories, or the common room, or the library. Lily panted as she ran up and down stairs, along corridors, searching every one of the Marauders' secret spots. Where was he? He'd promised her he'd be there waiting when she was finished, he'd promised.
"Lily?" It was Alice and Mary making their way towards her, curious looks upon their faces as she came running in their direction, red faced and bleary eyed.
"Have you seen James?" she spat out at them, gasping for air. The girls both shook their heads, Lily's stomach dropping.
"No, not since this morning," Alice said, looking more concerned now. "Why? What's wrong?"
"He's upset because of his parents and I'm scared… I think he might have done something stupid," Lily explained, her voice shaking.
"Hey, it's okay," Mary assured her, placing her hand on Lily's upper arm. "We'll find him. He's probably just run off somewhere with the rest of the Marauders." Lily bit down hard on her lip.
"I've searched everywhere," she said exasperatedly, beginning to lose her patience.
"Well, we'll help you look then," Alice said, taking hold of Lily's hand comfortingly. "We'll find them somewhere, okay?" Lily felt like a small child being coddled by her parents, perhaps that was exactly what she needed. The three girls continued to search every inch of the castle coming up completely blank.
Every time they entered a room or went down a corridor and Lily didn't see James' messy hair or square framed glasses she felt herself sinking a little more. She could tell Alice and Mary were beginning to panic now as well. They wandered down an empty fifth floor corridor finding Marlene sat down beside Danny on the floor, the pair speaking quietly.
"Marlene!" Alice cried out hopefully. "Have you seen James around?" Marlene's blue eyes flickered up.
"Not for a while, no, why?" Lily couldn't hold it in anymore, hot tears began streaming down her cheeks. "What is going on?" Marlene asked, standing up.
"It's James," Mary told her in a hushed tone, "he's missing."
"What do you mean he's missing?"
"I think he went after his parents," Lily explained, struggling to keep it together. "I should have never left him… I thought the boys would stop him from doing something idiotic."
"Have you checked everywhere?" Marlene asked frantically.
"We've been everywhere in the castle," Lily said hopelessly. She hated her stupid, brave, bespectacled boyfriend for doing this.
"What about outside? The Quidditch pitch? James always flies when he's feeling stressed."
"Oh!" Alice cried out excitedly. "That's true! He's outside, I bet you they went outside Lil'."
"We can go wait in the common room, they'll have to be coming in any minute now for dinner, right?" Mary suggested. Lily swallowed back her tears, breathing just a little easier.
"Right," she nodded, closing her eyes as she collected herself, "they're just outside."
"We'll come back with you," Marlene offered, helping Danny up off the floor. "We've been sitting out here wallowing for much too long." All five of them walked back towards the Common Room. No one said much except for Alice, who kept anxiously attempting to make small talk to distract everyone from the looming dark cloud that followed them around. When they stepped inside the common room it was packed, everyone circling around the couches.
"What's going on?" Lily asked, moving towards the group. A blonde haired boy stared up at her.
"They're reading out names!" he answered excitedly. "They're telling us who's survived!" Lily heard the sound of a muffled voice coming from the radio.
"Turn it up!" someone in the back shouted. There was some crackling and suddenly she could hear a young woman's voice coming through, grainy but still audible.
"We have here a list of people who are either in St. Mungo's or came out of the attack untouched. Jamora Adler, Karkarus Altman…." she continued on reading names, everyone on the edge of their seats waiting anxiously for their loved one to be called. A few students cried out with joy on the announcement of a name.
"...Maureen McKinnon…." Both Danny and Marlene sighed with relief, throwing their arms around each other happily. Lily smiled, giving her friend's shoulder a small squeeze. She was grateful. At least one person could get through the day with a loss.
"...Alec and Caroline Potter…." Lily's jaw tightened. There was no yelp of joy from deep within the crowd to alert her that James was in the room. There was nothing. Lily turned around and stared at her friends in horror. James was not down at the Quidditch pitch, he wasn't hiding somewhere avoiding the news; he was gone. She'd known it the minute she found his room empty.
Lily used all of her strength to keep her face straight as she slowly moved out of the crowd, storming up the dormitory stairs, her friends all chasing after her.
"Lil' wait!" they cried out. She ran up to his bedroom, throwing the door open. It was dark now as night crept closer and with the flick of her wand Lily switched all the lights in the room on.
"Where is it?" she demanded furiously, her eyes searching the room for his invisibility cloak. Her friends stood in the doorway, all watching her anxiously.
"He keeps it under his bed," Marlene spoke up, stepping forward. "He always leaves it underneath his trunk, with the map. Lily took a deep breath, getting onto her knees and looking beneath his bed. The trunk was ajar and the Marauders map and Invisibility Cloak missing from beneath it. He'd really done it. He'd left, without a word to her, without even asking if she'd come with him.
She came up onto her feet filled with rage. She would have gone. Had he really needed it she would have run right after him. He'd promised her and despite it all had taken off without a second thought and now what was she left to do? Lily swelled with anger and then without a second thought smashed everything upon James's desk to the ground in one big wave of fury. Mary gasped across the room, Lily breathing heavily.
"He's going to love that when he gets back," she muttered. Lily might have laughed had she not been so bloody angry. There were quiet footsteps behind her and then two hands atop her shoulders.
"It's okay, Lil'," Alice whispered to her, "he'll be back. They said it on the radio; the Potters are alive. He's probably just with them now."
"He promised me he'd stay," Lily said her chest tightening. "He promised."
"It's all going to be fine," Marlene assured her. "You'll wake up in the morning and he'll be back and you guys will get in some big ridiculous fight and then kiss and make up cause he's safe and everyone lived."
"This time," Lily reminded her friend carefully. "Everyone lived this time." Marlene frowned.
"Don't think like that," she told her, "that's dangerous." Lily knew she was right, it didn't make her feel it any less. Alice wrapped her arms around her, holding Lily close.
"James is fine," she promised her. "The boys won't let anything happen to him." Lily melted into the embrace but something didn't feel quite right. Something told her tomorrow morning wouldn't be filled with relief and laughter.