"Was it a choice or were you forced?"

Summer blue eyes begged her to stop, to accept that survival always has a price.

"Was it a choice, Jim, or were you forced?"

The painful banging shut of their tenuous mental link caused Nyota to flinch.

"Doesn't matter, Nyota..."

"Yes, it does."

"Forced." he blew out.

He'd never be a victim.

"What about Frank? Did he ever 'force' you?"

"No, he had enough local talent when mom was off-planet."

"Does McCoy know?"

"Probably. He's patched most of me up."

For the first time since his disclosure began, Nyota moved - unfurling her shapely legs and carefully seating herself within his arms.

"You fought until you couldn't - that's who you are, Jim. You stole food and supplies when they thought you were unconscious?"

Movement told her Jim nodded his assent.

"Tom trapped Carl and me in Kodos' headquarters. They came to arrest Kodos for Starfleet Intelligence interrogation."

"Why were you there?"

"To kill Kodos."

She maintained her outward calm, setting a meter to control her breathing.

"Carl was dying - we had a little meat but not much. Protein was killing his kidneys and he had blood in his pee... when he could pee. I ate wild grasses to keep me going. My allergies flared. Almost died."

The full-body shudder escaped Nyota's control.

"I kept us moving closer to Kodos' Headquarters. I thought it would be easier stealing carbs and fats for Carl. He was 10, Nyo... I couldn't let him die. All the other kids were dead. I thought if Kodos died..."

"That it would end..." she finished for him.

A gentle squeeze of her shoulder communicated "Yes".

"Tom's team was securing Kodos' headquarters. It was Chaos Central. Five guys passed me running down a hallway. Older guy and four armed guards. Didn't try to stop me. I asked where the kitchen was and they pointed. I got in, grabbed what I could. Climbed out a window after I made sure I could get back in."

The sad smile of remembrance appeared like a specter across Jim's mouth.

"Man, that was a feast... We ate so much so fast we threw it all up. I had to hold Carl to keep him from choking."

He'd learned his response behavior to Grayson's vomiting on Tarsus IV.

A murmured nudge kept him talking. "How does Leighton fit in?"

"I dragged us back into the building to hide and eat; Tom's team caught us."

"What happened today to trigger this... reaction?"

"After they caught us," Jim continued, "I wouldn't eat because Carl wasn't keeping anything down. I saved my food for Carl in case Tom's team left us behind."

No wonder he has nightmares...

"Tom fed me after he hooked up Carl's intravenous feeding line. Tom... Tom..."

Jim panted out the words to keep the tears at bay.

"...made me his mother's meat loaf from Kodos' stored supplies. From scratch. Held a fork to my lips and fed me meat loaf and mashed potatoes... like a baby..."

"Jim, what about today?"

"Tom thinks Kodos is alive. He thinks he's seen him. Only twelve of us who know what he looks like left Tarsus IV alive. I'd passed Kodos looking for the kitchen...

"Tom wants my help. To capture him."