Your suggestions have been wonderful, no really they have. This chapter has consumed most of my free time. I have barely worked on anything besides this and homework. I really hope i get it right. I am not nearly done with this story but this is I feel one of the most critical chapters in the story line. A barrier will be crossed, and with it new emotions, and situations to add to the current state of affairs. So with that...

Disclaimer: I don't own Cirque Du Freak/Sega of Darren Shan. Sorry wish I did but stuff just don't happen like that...yeah...

Last Chapter: After the meeting with the once presumed dead Robert Anna continues her travels with the group, until they come to the home of Lady Evanna. They make themselves comfortable on the outside of the cave, allowing Darren and Harkat to make themselves familiar with the precautions of Lady Evanna. Lady Evanna makes herself known and greetings as well as introductions are shared. They speak of the past, revealing the secret of Larten and his scar. Lady Evanna expresses regret and offers him apology in the form of a picture of Arra Sails. The picture brings back past memories for Larten putting him a state of aloofness. Causing Anna to worry.

Read...enjoy...review...

He'd walked through the brush, farther and farther away from the cave, where the trees covered most of land, and the water from the pond seemed into the earth. He placed his head in his hands. I walked ahead, standing in front of him for a moment before bending down, lowering my head and meet his gaze, my hands on either of his cheeks. Slowly, ever so slowly he looked at me. His eyes grazing over me like I wasn't there, like I was the picture of Arra the frogs had made.

" Mr. Crepsley," I said patting his cheeks lightly. " I'm right here. See." I removed his right hand from his head and placed it on my cheek. " You can tell me."

" Anna…" He pressed both hands against my cheeks.

" Yes. I'm here, right here." I said slowly, softly. He kissed me chastely, testing, tasting. I opened my mouth with a rush of warm air. The gentleness left then, as he pulled me forward, bringing my knees off the ground as he stood with me. I braced my hands against his shoulder blades, my feet on his boots in attempt to level our heights.I pressed my tongue against his upper lip, this time he didn't pull back, didn't reject. Our tongues mingled, his hands traveled down to my waist, mine to the buttons of his shirt, removing them one by one until his shirt was open. I ran my hand down the scarred skin, feeling the lumps give under my palm, the dents where flesh had healed incorrectly.

He noticed my hesitation. He started to pull back. I pulled him closer, " It's ok," I said.
" I'm here. I don't want to leave." I muttered against his mouth. The confidence I'd stolen from Robert was roaring now, making me forward making me determined.

His mouth found mine again, before his hands stopped traveling.

He pulled back, gazing considerably at me. " It's ok." I said gripping his shoulder blades. Kissing his neck. He went stiff.

" We cannot," he said gruffly. I opened both eyes slowly.

He doesn't want me…

Something familiar curled in my belly, and burned the back of my eyes. And before I knew any better I was curling into myself, sliding away from him, looking for the nearest rock to crawl under. I sat up quickly, flustered and blushing. I pulled at my shirt, hoping he didn't see the slap of rejecting resting on my face, but knowing he did all the same.

" Why are you crying?" He said sounding slightly annoyed.

" I'm not…" I sniffed. " And even if I was, it's none of your concern." There was a moment of silence before I decided to add for the sake of my own dignity if not anything else. " You think about Arra whenever we're like this don't you?" I asked.

He ran his hand across his scar, avoiding my gaze as he said, " Regrettably," softly. Another moment of silence before he added, " It is not the way you look."

" Sure it isn't," I resorted folding my legs Indian style then placing my hands in the space between. "Whenever I'm around you, or when we're…" I let my sentence remain unfinished, my mouth suddenly felt dry. " I came here hoping to make you forget, hoping to tell you something…hoping you would talk to me."

He seemed confused by the sudden turn of subjects. I tried not to concentrate on his lips as he spoke. " Talking is a tedious task that will do no good."

" I will if you try it." I said. " I wanna know about your childhood, I want to know everything. About your parents, your siblings, how you were. You said before that as a child you didn't get much time to have fun? I wanna know all about it."

He said nothing. I snapped my fingers. " I got it, you tell me one thing, I'll tell you one thing, so on. Me first." I thought for a moment before replying. " I was born in the backseat of a mini van."

" I will not engage in…"

I grabbed his hands, then looked up into his eyes pleadingly. " Trust me it will help," I said. " You can't not participate." My fingertips tingled in the places they bent in the flesh of his hands. I wanted him to think about something else beside Arra, to stop thinking on my failure. I would distract him with mindless prattle since passion wasn't working.

He sighed heavily. Refusing to look at me as he said, " I was one among five other children. There were eight, but death took them early."

" My brother's name was Thomas. He had curly brown hair that when straight when it got wet." I said picturing Thomas's face in my mind. Which was hard, it had been so long since I'd seen even a picture of him. It was like putting a mental puzzle together, a puzzle that was missing a lot pf pieces.

" Vur Horston," Mr. Crepsley said.

" The name of your brother?" I asked. He nodded, still not looking at me, but at the place where our hands lay, still clutched together, mine small compared to his. My skin the color of caramel, his pale almost white. " My Mom's name was Rebecca. My father Robert."

It was his turn. He didn't want to talk about his parents or Vur Horston or his life. At least not to me, which I could understand. I started to pull back my hand, but he held me still.

" Has your hair always been orange?" I asked pretending not to notice the force on my hands, lest he notice that I noticed and pull away.

That got his attention, something like a faint smile curled on his lips, before he ran his free hand through his crop of hair. I could tell he as saying in his mind," Of all questions."

" I was not born with this hair color," he hesitated. " In fact I cannot remember the hair color I first had."

" So you dye it?" I asked putting humor in my voice. He shook his head, the faint smile was gone, replaced with seriousness, replaced with the raw desire to actually tell me. So I opened my ears, prepared to listen. The tenseness I felt in his hands loosened a little, just a little.

" I worked in a carpet factory as a child. For each job there was a different color assigned to each child. Vur- I was a cocooner. The color never left, not even after all these years."

I nodded. " Did you like your job?" I asked. His fingers tensed again. I tried not to winch.

" No. But it had to be done."

" Cocooners," I said. " So you wrapped cocoons?"

He shook his head, then went on to explain how the dye had seeped into the pores of his skin, making his hair forever orange. How he worked as a cocooner, his job being to dip the cocoons of silk worms into boiling hot water. How his fingers were always calloused and cut, and at risk of infection from the silk worms. He paused every so often, as the memories came back to him, closing his eyes then shaking his head and continuing. He never mentioned Vur Horston, trying to lead me to believe he was alone through all of this.

" And Vur Horston?"

" I believe it is your turn," he said gruffly.

" Oh yeah…" I said rolling my eyes. " We used to go to the Circus a lot. Sometimes the same ones three, four times in a row. It never got old, each time was a new experience. I might have already told you this, but my father wanted me to be a Nurse, he said I had a way with people, even at such a young age. My Mother wanted me to be a singer, said my voice would one day unite people." I sighed, looking down. " My brother said I could be both, I could be anything I wanted to be. I'm not a really good nurse, the most I can do is stitch a person up, and I don't think I sing that well…" I hesitated, looking my last thought, coming up with a new one. " Then that night came…" More silence on my part.

Could I trust him with this? With my secret I've held from my two best friends, from everyone. Would he even remember? Or would he think me childish for associating my feelings with something that happened so long ago?

" Vur Horston, I want to know about Vur Horston…who was he really?"

Your such a coward Anna…

" He was my cousin," Mr. Crepsley said. " He was killed in the very factory we worked in." Another pause.

" Killed how?"

" Drowned in the cocoon vat."

This was surprising for me. " By who?" I exclaimed. I squeezed his hand, he had stopped talking, making me realize that it was my turn to finish what I had started, my turn to tell him my secret. How should I start? Should I blurt it all out, hope he understands what I'm saying, and doesn't snap at me for being too impulsive and misunderstanding.

I opened my mouth then closed it again, the action caused my teeth to make a loud popping sound.

" I…my family that is…" I took a few calming breaths, my eyes still away from him, my mouth still closed. I willed my heart to stop beating a mile a minute. Honestly throwing myself at him was easier than this, that required little preparation. This, was hard. After what seemed like a hour of silence I finally looked up at him, finally looked into those tired green eyes, trying to level out every emotion I could while I whispered, " I love you."

That seemed to come as a surprise, because his ears went red, and he quickly pulled his hand away to run it through his hair, then across his scar. Looking every which way but directly at me.

I continued. " I have for a long as I can remember…since you saved me…" My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't get he words out. I couldn't remember what I had to say that was so important.

He looked at me then. " I have saved you a great many times Anna that is-"

" That's not what I mean!" I all but shouted. Keeping my head lowered. " I can't tell you the whole truth until you remember yourself, but I can at least tell you my feelings."

" Why did you not tell me this earlier?"

" Because I'm telling you now," I said. " I'm tell you now, because I'm tired of holding it in."

I turned my head away from him, afraid of what I might see. Afraid that his face would mark what he really thought, afraid that I would be rejected again.
I loved him, that much was sure. I loved him so much that I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He wasn't saying anything for a long while, and I wasn't looking at him, so I wasn't sure what he might have been thinking.

I wanted to cry again. I started to stand up, to get away from him. Take my rejection alone, but he stopped me. " Do not," he said. His voice was calm, but it held a tone to it, the same tone he'd used before on either I or Darren when he wanted us to listen. Out of habit I stopped. " Come here Anna." It was not a request, or a suggestion. I turned my head still down and obligated. I wanted to flee, but thought better of it. Now was the time to figure this out, while his attention was on the matter at hand. Now was the day of reckoning.

Look at me…

She walked forward, head down. Her unkempt bangs the only thing covering her face partially, enough for him to see the downturn of eyebrows and lips, the disappointment. Gone was the long streaks that hid everything. He was momentarily happy for it, the loss of hair.

" I'm not making any sense to you am I?" She whispered. " You think I'm not serious."

That was not the case. He knew she was serious, knew she was completely serious. She was just a foot away now, the tips of their shoes were almost touching.

" I am over a hundred," he said gently. He wanted to touch her face.

" I'm barely thirty." She replied.

" I am too stern," Larten remarked.

" I'm impulsive."

" You aften complain of my mood," he rejoined.

Her succinct reply was, " So do you," Implying his complaints about her sudden change in moods.

" I am too grumpy."

" And I'm frumpy," she said

They would go back and forth all night with this, if he continued to play this game with her. " I love that about you," he said gruffly.

" Well you-" she started to say, but stopped herself abruptly her eyes went up. Those large gray eyes. Many had said she resembled Arra, with her dark hair and gray eyes. He didn't see it. They were two different beauties, to different perspectives. Her hair was darker than Arra's, black like coal, or ebony. Her eyes were bigger, not so narrow, not so perceived. With those eyes she took in everything, showed everything. Emotion flitted across her face easily, through the downturn of lips, eyebrows, lines of eyelids. Unlike Arra who was harder to read, harder to inspect. He saw qualities he so admired in the both of them. To the eye of the inexperienced one they appeared like sisters, but for those who knew, well the real truth was not far off. They were for the most part polar opposites. The many prospects could not be explained in spoken words.

" As a assistant," she answered. Still looking down, still avoiding his gaze. He noticed her fingers were balled into a tight fist, so much so that her knuckles were white. If he didn't know any better, he would think she was ready to punch him in the face.

" No," he said softly. She looked up, slowly then.

Arra's eyes were flicked with green.

Anna's were flecked with blue.

She grabbed his duster, burying her face in the place where shirt met flesh.

Her fingers were shorter than Arra's. Her height about the same.

" I'm not asking you to love me back," she said. " Use me if you like, I just wanted you to know my reason. Wanted you to know why I feel this way." He had no desire to use her. Why such words would come out of her mouth was beyond even his reasoning.

Arra would have said something along the lines of, " You're here because I allow you to be, not because I want you to be." She was indirect in that way.

" Lets not stop this time," she said against his chest. He could feel the heat of her breath on his skin, creating small moisture puddles that caused his senses to flare. " I don't care about ceremonies, or the others, I want to show you I mean it, that I'm not lying." She hesitated before she said the last part, " that I'm not scared."

He had no time to reply before her lips were on him again, and her urgent hands went to work pulling, removing, capturing.

Only once did Arra cross his mind through the whole encounter, he wondered faintly what she would feel of this. If she would approve of his moving on so soon, mating with another that was not her. Then he remembered Anna, sweet determined Anna, one among many women he'd had in his life. Would he lose her like all the others? Fingers netted themselves through short ebony hair. He decided he would think about it later.

My heart beat rapidly against my breast, my hands trembled and I closed my eyes and waited for what was to come.

It didn't take long, in a spasm of tangling limbs, and desperate kisses, we moved searching for each other, finding and holding in our last moments before we ended clasping on to each other sweating and exhausted. Pain was there, instant, lingering but I didn't let it show. I was happy.

I woke up about an hour later, my head on Mr. Crepsley's shoulder feeling hot, sore and slightly irritated. He was awake, fingers in my hair, the arch of my back. I looked up wearily then around at the shattered leaves and clothing thrown everywhere.

I licked my lips, I could taste the salt of his sweat, a mixture of pain and regret. I glanced up warily.

He gave me his worried look, kind of worried look that told me he wasn't sure. Not sure about what, I wouldn't know. Sitting up I looked down at him, suddenly feeling confident again.

" Inform me?" I said directing my question to his unsure worried look. He didn't know what I was talking about of course. He ran a hand over his eyes, then down the side of his face where his scar was.

" How are you feeling?" He asked.

" Sore, tired, sore."

" I should have warned you," he said softly.

" It was kinda a one second deal. Not much talking before." I reminded pressing my fingers against his collarbone. I'd forgotten that I was naked, that there was only a thin sheet of darkness separating our lower bodies, the rest was left up to the moon. I tried not to show that it was effecting me. " You should be asleep. Are you sleepily?"

" I am." he answered.

" Why not sleep?" I urged. He looked away from me.

" Last night…we should not have…" he said slowly.

" You can't be serious?"

His mouth formed a tight line against his face.

" Oh god you are serious. You can blame me. I instigated the whole thing." He sighed, looking away again, getting frustrated, I was testing his patience again.

" Anna," he demanded. His tone implied he wanted me to stop babbling.

" Really you can," I said. " I seduced you, managed to talk you out of your clothes, then convinced you to have mate with me. I am totally prepared to take the blame for everything."

He shifted uncomfortably.

" It must have been the worst night of your li-"

He grabbed me then, and plumped me back beside him a little to close to bed of the pond, I had to cling to him not to fall. He didn't look the least bit concerned about my little speech just really annoyed that I was testing his authority.

" Look I don't know how far things will go after this but I do know one thing. You wanted to, maybe a little more than I did. I don't know a lot about guys and this kind of thing, but I'm pretty sure you enjoyed yourself. It's a mixed bag for me." I paused, taking a chance to look over at him. " You should be happy." I added cautiously.

" I am," he said gruffly.

" Then look at me."

He turned then green eyes scanning.

" I did what I felt I had to, you know now and I'll do it again if I hav…" I bit off my words with a sigh. Convinced that he was not listening to a word I was saying, he was convinced that he still didn't believe me. " I'm not staying there." I finished.

" Must you be so stubborn?"

" I need to wash," I said trying to get up. He held me still by the waist. I turned my head to glare at him.

" Anna," he said his voice barely above a whisper.

" I think I heard a ' thank you' somewhere in there," I snapped trying again to get up. He held me fast.

" Do not make this more complicated than it has to be." He said using his calm voice.

" No!" I barked slapping his chest. " Your right it isn't complicated. Your just making it complicated. Was it really that bad?" I said pressing my fingertips into the skin below his collarbone so that it bent to my fingertips shape. " Really if it was I'll get up right now and never again bother you, I'll be the perfect quiet Assistant."

His mouth twitched. Then he was silent. It looked liked he was about to frown, then his mouth turned. A sound ruffled from his chest a muffled sound. He was laughing.

" I'm glad you think this is funny," I said. " Just what are you laughing at anyway?"

No answer. He covered his face with his arm. " Corna Guts!" He exclaimed, seconds away from howling.

I pushed my knees into my chest. " I knew I should have stuck with Vancha." I said.

The laughter ceased. " Vancha." He growled.

He didn't find that funny. The look he gave me, erased the one second satisfaction I got from saying it. " I was joking," I said. " Really."

More silence, where only the sighs of our own breaths could be heard. Not the awkward kind of silence shared between strangers, but the silence of people who knew each other.

" Did you mean what you said when you said you loved my frumpiness?" I blushed.

His ears went red. One would think we were past that after what happened just an hour ago.

" You don't have to repeat it," I said smiling. " I know guys have a problem with that. Saying 'I love you' more than once I meant. Both Star and Claire told me not to expect that kind of thing after giving it up to a guy, something about men guarding their hearts more than women. I'm babbling again aren't I?"

" You are," he said.

" Ok, I'll just stop talking. I need to get up anyway, get ready fo-" He pulled my lips to his then quieting me. Our mouths moved together again like before. My hands shook as I ran them through his crop of hair, then down both sides of his face.

" There was some truth to it," he said breathlessly against my neck.

" I don't care right…now. Lets talk about it later." I said pressing my fingertips into the flesh of his shoulder blades. I let myself become lost in him, the uncertainty of it all, again.

-really i was just joking. There are no hard core lemons. Nothing you haven't read before to the extent of my writing style. Geez you guys really thought so didn't you. Really had you goin there didn't I? Anyways. Cliffhanger, sorta kinda.

I'll be a while before I can finish the next chapter, but I will be periodically inserting parts of the next chapter on my official website. ( Check profile).

There will also be dates for the next upcoming chapters posted there, as well as art, news and contest info. So yeah. Hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think..all that jazz.

P.S. If you haven't picked up any of Darren Shan's newest books, " The Sega of Larten Crepsley," series, then you are seriously behind. Go pick that up. Most of my background information comes from the first two books, ( because I haven't got the third yet...) so I'm not just coming up with information randomly. Really good books if you want to get into the mind of one of Darren Shan's most loved characters. Link to book series also on my profile.