so we're almost nearing the end....lol. who am i kidding, i'm not yet done, hehe, or so i thought, oh well, let's see, i hope i can finish it before i forget where this story is headed...anyways, i'm sorry if it's not going where you guys wanted it to go, i try maybe on the next chapters, i maybe able to squeeze it in, i duno, i just can't promise anything, i guess you'll see it when i post it....so ye, moving forward, here's the next chapter...as always, you know the drill...thanks again for still readin my fic...appreciate it!!!

Chapter 37: Confused

"Marissa…honey?!" Julie knocking on her door but still no response from her daughter, "you've been hiding inside your room for a week now!! Don't you want to see the world outside?" she said worriedly but Marissa doesn't seem to care.

"Marissa!! I'm coming in…whether you like it or not!!??" Julie yelled opening the door to her room, she looks around and sees her daughter just staring at the ceiling not moving a muscle. She frowned at the sight of her own daughter, she held back her tears not really wanting for her daughter to see it.

"Marissa…what are you doing to yourself!?" she walks up to her worried while Marissa just looked at the ceiling blankly, "Are you even listening to me??" still no response from her.

"Marissa, get up. Come on honey!" she said then sat down beside her on the bed, "you need to eat. Look at you…you've lost weight…and you look like a mess…Marissa!" Julie taps her shoulder and then tried pulling her out of her bed but Marissa turned her body away from her and looked on the other side of her room.

"Marissa?!" Julie called again but still no answer from her. Oh my God! I don't know what to do anymore..

Julie stood up sadly, she sighed at the sight of her daughter and walked away not really knowing what to do about her.

"Alex…are you sure you don't want to come?" Jodie says on the other line convincing her to come to the party.

"I'm ok here...don't worry about me.." She said hiding her sadness, "just have fun ok?" she said trying to lighten up the mood.

"Ok?! Just call me if you need anything ok? Bye now.."

"Bye.." Alex replied then shuts her cell off and sighed heavily.

She walked towards her room, sat on her bed and took something under her pillow. She lied down and then looked at it again. It was something that she had been staring at for the last hour.

Marissa…. How will I get you back?

She looks at the picture of her, and then touches it like she is touching her. She stares at the picture and slowly tears started to fell through her eyes.

She closed her eyes and imagined she can be with her but she knows it was just mere imagination. She opens her eyes full of regret, the one person that she truly loves just slipped right through her hands and she knows it was all her fault, there is no one to blame but herself and that's what hurts the most.

The room was dark and that's what she loves to see.

Darkness, it was all that she could see.. nothing more but darkness. She looks around and felt like she was once again lost inside her own world. She blocks everything out not wanting to feel anything anymore.

She then slowly moved her hands under her pillow reaching for something that she couldn't just throw away.

After she felt it with her hands, she took it out and then puts it on top of her chest, hugging it. She closed her eyes thinking the pain will go away but the more she tried the harder it gets.

Why do I still love you? She said to herself as she looks at the picture of Alex and started crying once again.

Next day...

K&R bldg.

"Ms. Kelly…Mrs. Julie Cooper is here to see you." Kate says as she opens the door and let Julie inside.

Alex stood up surprised to see her, she greeted her with a forced smile, "Come in." was all that she could say and then she gestures at the chair, "Have a seat…" she said trying to act like she's not nervous since the older woman looked very civil at her.

"Alex, I'm not gonna beat around the bushes anymore…" Julie said then sat down at the empty chair then looks seriously at her.

"Ok, go ahead…i'm listening." Alex then said as she sat down to her chair and waited for her to continue talking.

"I don't know what's going on between the two of you and I know it's none of my business but I can't take the sight of my daughter falling apart…." Julie said frankly, Alex looks at her sadly feeling guilty about it.

"I know how much you love my daughter…or at least that's what I thought…..don't let this be the end of your relationship." She said concerned all the while studying her reaction.

Alex sighed and answered, "I'm really sorry for all this…..it was all my fault and I can't blame your daughter for hating me….I've done everything that I can to make amends but she wouldn't listen to me….she doesn't wanna see me…talk to me…I've been trying to contact her but she's shutting me off….I dunno what else is there that I can do for her to get to talk to me or let alone be with me in the same room." She said sadly and defeated.

"So what? You're going to stop…just like that??" Julie said raising a brow at her.

"I dunno what to do next….you saw what happened last time I tried getting close to her…" Alex said sadly as she remembered how Marissa's hand flew straight to her face.

flashback----

She slowly turned the knob and then peaked inside, not seeing the brunette anywhere, she entered her room slowly and looked around. The room was dark and a mess, she sighed and then bends down to pick the clothes and other things scattered around the room.

After tidying the room, she heard a noise coming from the bathroom, she walked to where the noise is coming from and braced herself since she knew the brunette is inside it.

Taking a deep breathe, she turned the knob opening the door slowly. She grimaced at what she saw, Marissa was sitting down on the floor, her head was down and being supported by the tub, her shoulders were shaking. She can't see her face but she knew she was crying, and for all she knows, it's because of her, what she did to her.

She snapped out of it and slowly walked towards her, not making any noise so as not to scare the girl off. She kneeled in front of her, tentatively she reached for her, her hands shaking as she make contact with her.

"Marissa.." She whispered softly, her hand touched her hair and stroked it slowly, her left hand reached over the brunette's left hand. She held her hand inside her, not wanting to let go.

The brunette tensed as it registered to her that there's someone else that's touching her. She looked up, and saw a piercing blue eyes staring back at her.

"A-lex?" She said her voice cracking as she mentions her lover's name, her face lighting up once she recognized her.

"Ye, it's me." She smiled softly at her, squeezing her hand.

Marissa just stared at her, and as she was about to say something, she saw flashes of emotions on her face, from happy to sad to angry. Her eyes immediately turned cold, giving her death glares but it didn't deter her and she kept her ground and just holds onto her hand.

"Marissa..I.."

"Don't wanna hear it!" She said harshly, removing her hand quickly from her like she got burned.

"Marissa?" Alex said trying to reach for her but she shoved her hard instead, her arse hitting the cold tile as she looks at her hurt, not as much physically but emotionally. She stared back at her, longing for affection but all she got is a pair of cold hazel eyes staring back at her.

"Did I not make myself clear when I said we're over?!" She said her voice angry as she could ever be, she was looking down at her while she sighed and tried helping herself to stand up.

"You did." Alex answered calmly, she stood now face to face with her.

"So what are you still doing here? Get out!!" She yelled again, if only looks can kill, she'd be dead the moment she laid her eyes on her.

"We need to talk!" She said, walking over to her slowly.

"Don't come near me!" She yelled again, gesturing with her hands to stop the blonde from coming near her.

"I just wanted to talk." She said softly, her eyes pleading as she walks again towards her, the brunette walking backwards as she took a step forward.

"I said don't come near me!" She said again strongly making the blonde stop from her feet.

"Ok, I won't…" Alex said backing away from her, giving the brunette the space she needed, "I just wanted to talk." She said again not taking her eyes off of the brunette.

Marissa scoffed, "Talk? Really you wanted to talk?"

Alex nodded, "Ye, I just wanted to talk." She said softly making eye contact with the girl and making sure she's not scaring her off.

"I hate to break the news to you but I sure as hell don't wanna talk to you!" She said sarcastically then walked pass her.

"Wait!" Alex said grabbing her waist, pulling the girl into her arms, she holds her tightly on her waist not letting her go, "Marissa, please." She said looking into her eyes, the girl stood in front of her staring at her angrily, "Let go of me!" she demanded, she used her both arms to pull away from the blonde but it didn't work since the blonde only tightened her grip on her waist, her body came in full contact with her, the more she struggled the more she felt the blonde's warm body pressing onto her making them both breathe raggedly.

"Maris..sa.." Alex said her voice crackling, her breathe quickens as she felt the other girls warm body pressed into her, the more she struggled the more it created friction.

She swallowed hard, her hand still gripping her waist, the brunette struggled and used her hands to pounce on her. Alex used her right hand to block her as she tries to hold her left hand on her hands while she continued holding onto her small waist.

"Let me go!" Marissa demanded instead when she got tired of breaking free, she stared at her coldly making sure she got the message loud and clear.

Alex looked at her straight in the eyes but didn't budge, she didn't even loosen her grip on her but instead she pulled her more, if that's even possible since they're standing face to face, only an inch or two away from each other.

"No." She answered determinedly, Marissa looked at her furiously, "You bit.." she said but was cut off when Alex closed the gap and captured her lips instead shutting her off.

She stood there frozen in time, she didn't do anything nor move away. Alex took this as a sign and continued kissing her, she tightens her grip on her waist and her right hand went to her neck pulling Marissa closer to deepen the kiss. She kissed her for all she's worth but the other girl didn't do anything, her lips still sealed, not letting Alex' tongue explore hers.

She was kissing her for quite sometime now but the brunette still didn't do anything, she just stood there motionless, the blonde was about to move away when she felt her.

Her heartbeat quickens when she felt the brunette responding now to her kiss, she opened her mouth and just like that she felt Marissa' s soft tongue entering her mouth.

Marissa's hand automatically moved towards her neck and the other to her face caressing it while she was kissing her. She moaned when Marissa sucked on her tongue, she swept her tongue inside the confines of her mouth, then they were back to tongue dwelling again.

She didn't know when or how it happened, she just knew that she was already sitting on edge of the tub with Marissa sitting on her lap, straddling her.

If this a dream, I don't wanna wake up. Alex uttered to herself as she savours the taste of Marissa's sweet lips with her own.

She held Marissa on her waist securely while her other hand was on her neck pulling the girl closer to her. She kisses her hungrily, leaving a trail of kisses on her face, jaw line, on her ear then to her neck, sucking her pulse point. She hears Marissa moaning making her more and more confident on what she's doing, she moved her hands from her neck then slowly to her breast caressing it. She moved her hand away from it, she looked for the opening of her top, and tentatively she slips her hand inside her top, feeling the warmth of the brunette's body on her hands. She caressed her abs then instead of trailing upwards she slowly moved her hands downwards, like her hand has a mind of it's own.

Marissa continued on kissing her till she felt Alex' hand touching her abdomen, trailing downwards.

Just like that, it's as if someone throws a bucket of ice on her.

She pulled away from the blonde, her eyes opening abruptly, letting whatever's happening to them right now sink in. She looked at the blonde taken aback, Oh, God...What am I doing?

"Marissa…I.." Alex said breaking their silence, she stared at the brunette with her eyes full of desire and love for her, the only difference is that Marissa's eyes say exactly the opposite.

It was hatred and disgust.

Marissa stood up quickly, and without a word her hand flew straight into Alex' left cheek, stunning the blonde in the process.

"That's the last time that you'll ever touch me." She said angrily then left the blonde as quickly as she could.

Alex held her face while she followed the brunette with a sad look on her eyes.

----end of flashback

"The Alex Kelly that I have known before doesn't take No for an answer!" She replied getting her attention back to her, Alex just looked at her and didn't answer, "She was always determined…. always knows what she wants…gets what she wants!" She said looking at her squarely in the eye, Alex looked down and just kept quiet. Julie shook her head and sighed, she knew she just had to do this.

"Ok, just answer me this…..Do you love Marissa?" She said as Alex looked up and quickly answered, "With all my heart…" she said truthfully.

"Then I will help you get her back…" Julie said determined but Alex looked at her sceptically. Ok?

"Don't give me that look?!" She said not liking her stare, "You don't think I can do that for you?" she said raising a brow at her.

"I didn't say that?!" Alex said shaking her head.

"I already know what you did Alex...." Julie said watching her reaction, the blonde looked at her terrified at the same time ashamed of herself.

"I can explain..." She said swallowing hard again, Julie laughed at her, Alex looked at her confused more than ever.

"It's ok, I know why you did that because of Marissa..." Julie concluded, "Right?"

Alex looked at her dumbfounded. "Ok, you just lost me?!"

"We really didn't want to do it but we had no other choice and I was relieved to know that it was you..." She said smiling at her and thankful on what she did.

"I still am not following you?!" Alex looked at her still confused. While we were talking, did I just pass out or what?

"Let me enlighten you then…" Julie said smiling, Alex looked at her eager to hear what she found out.

Lunch time...

"Good day to you guys.." Marissa said effortlessly, Julie and Theresa looked at her shocked.

"What??" Marissa looked at them cynically.

"Good day to you too!!" Julie quickly said as she acted like nothing happened, "Are you going to work now?"

"Yeah, I thought they could use another hand there…." Marissa sat on her chair and then took a sandwich, "I forgot how these tastes like…"

"Of course, you were living inside your room for a week now without eating anything.." Theresa commented but Julie interrupted her and gave her a warning look to shut her up.

"Marissa, after work….go straight to your dad's office…we need to talk about something important…you too Theresa…after your class..head directly to your dad's office ok?" She said looking at them both.

"Ok..." Theresa said as she stood up and waved goodbye, "See you guys later then..."

"I'll go ahead too...." Marissa stood up and then kissed her mom goodbye, "Later mom..."

Julie just sighed and then thought to herself about the things she needed to say for later.

after sometime...

"Hey Jules.." Jimmy said, he walks inside the room and then kissed her on the cheeks.

"I missed lunch huh?" He said and then sat down beside her, "ye..."

"I'm sorry, the flight was delayed." He explained then leaned on his chair, "so how are you guys doing after I've been gone for over a week??"

"Be prepared later...." Julie said instead, seriously looking at him.

"Why??" he said nervously, sitting up straight.

"We're going to tell them what's happening to our company.." She said determined, Jimmy looked at her confused, "It's all ok now? Why is there a need to tell them about this?" he argued.

"I don't want to lie to them about this... they need to know!" She explained, Jimmy sighed deeply, "I don't think it's a good idea?" he said shaking his head.

"Don't worry, I got your back! We just need to explain what really happened and what we did to solve this problem..." She said calmly, standing up and putting her arms on his shoulders to hug him.

"So we have to tell them that we've already sold our company?" Jimmy concluded as Julie sighed and then sat down again, "Yes...they need to know that..."

"I hope what you said is a joke." The guy said just barging into their house walking towards them, Jimmy and Julie stood up and looked at them warily.

"What the hell are you doing inside my house??" Jimmy said angrily as three other guys walked inside the room and stood beside their boss.

"Take it easy Jimmy boy... we come in peace." He said smiling deviously, Jimmy looked at him angrily standing in front of Julie shielding her from them.

"So did I hear you correctly?? You sold the company??" He said not liking the idea of it.

"It's none of your business on what I do with my company!!" Jimmy exclaimed wanting to rush over to him but Julie hold onto his arm not letting him move.

"It is my business! We've agreed that you'll give me your company in case you can't pay me." He said again then sat on the chair feeling at home.

"True...in case I can't pay you but I already have money to pay you so that's beside the point now." Jimmy said confidently.

"Well, the thing is...." He said smirking at him, "I don't want your money anymore..."

"That's the only thing that I can give you now, as I've said...it's already sold!" He reiterated.

"So I want my money doubled now!!" He exclaimed then stood up from the chair.

"What??" Jimmy exclaimed, not liking where this is going, "I don't have that kind of money, I only got what you asked for and that's it!" he said making a point.

Carlos continued smiling smugly at him, "I'll give you two days to come up with the money..." he said not caring.

"Two days?? How will I get that kind of money in that span of time??" He said panicking.

"I saw your two daughters a while ago..." He said instead, "they're both lovely." Jimmy clenched his jaw because of this and curls his hands into a fist.

"I know now where they got their looks." He looks at Julie and smiles mischievously at her.

"Damn you Carlos!!" Jimmy yelled angrily, punching the table with his hand, "Don't even think about involving my family on this!!"

"Then you better think of something to pay me off." He said smirking then walked away with his bodyguards.

Jimmy looked down and couldn't find words for he didn't know how he will come up with that kind of money.

"We'll think of something." Julie said hugging her husband instead, trying to calm him down.

Crabshack...

"Hey Coop!!" Summer waving her hand to her when she noticed her friend looking for her, Marissa smiled and walked towards her table.

"Hi?!" She then took a seat and looked at her, "sorry I'm late."

"No problem, I just got here also." Summer said smiling studying her friend as well, "You hungry??" She then asked.

Marissa shook her head, "No...I just need a drink."

Summer looked at her wide eyed, "Isn't it too early for a drink??" She exclaimed.

"Juice??" Marissa raised a brow at her confused.

"Oh ye..of course...juice?!" She said looking away and then changed the subject, "So are you ok now?" Summer looks at her worried.

"I guess so?" She looks away sadly.

"Marissa, Alex explained to me what really happened..." Summer started to say but Marissa looked at her annoyed, "And you believed what she said??" she exclaimed.

"I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and besides the girl is going crazy without you?!" Summer emphasized the last word but Marissa didn't say a word and just played with her cell phone in her hand.

"I'm not siding with Alex if that's what you think.." she retorted.

"I didn't say that." Marissa said sighing, leaning towards her chair.

"It's just that, your cousin is a big flirt and it's not her fault if she's a chick magnet tho it's not also an excuse for her behaviour..." Summer explained frustrated as well.

Marissa gave her a look saying she didn't really want to talk about it but that didn't stop Summer from talking .

"What I'm saying is that, what she did is not right but it's not her entire fault and to make it complicated that stupid bitch purposely took that picture for you to see....since she wanted Alex for herself and the poor girl doesn't want her....she got dumped I'm assuming that's why she's on a mission to break you two up and she succeeded, which sucks!" Summer continuously said as Marissa looked at her confused, "What??"

Summer sighed then rolled her eyes, "Never mind.." Marissa furrowed her brows and was about to say something but she already called the waitress and ordered. She shook her head instead and didn't ask about it anymore.

Later that day...

NLC bldg.

"WHAT? Is this some kind of a joke??" Marissa stood up and couldn't believe what she just heard from her parents. She looked at her mom and then her dad who's sitting in front of them in disbelief.

"Mom? you're kidding right??" Theresa stood up as well, she looks at her dad and at her mom dreading their answer.

"Girls, calm down. I know this is a shocker to you both but try to understand." Julie said trying to explain everything to the girls. She walked over to them and gestured for them to sit down again.

"Ok, so to my understanding...we're broke?" Theresa plainly said, sitting down begrudgingly.

"No. we're not broke?!" Jimmy said calmly, "It's just that we're going to a phase right now and I need your full support!"

"Ok...good to know we're not broke?!" Theresa said softly leaning on her chair as her father continued talking, "I know this is all my fault that if I didn't get addicted to gambling we wouldn't be in this position right now.." He said blaming himself about it, "I'm really sorry about this...but I had no other choice but to sell our company.." he looked down sadly, Marissa stood up and went over to her dad.

"It's ok Dad.. I'm just shocked....I didn't know we're having this kind of problem....why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" Marissa said softly putting her hands on his shoulder comforting him.

"Marissa, the only real solution here is to sell the company so he can pay them or else they would want to have his shares and that wouldn't be good...so instead we've decided to just sell it.." Julie explained to them, sitting on her chair instead.

"We thought that by doing that our problems will be solved." Julie said frowning, not knowing what to do anymore.

"But the thing is...the man who I owed money..wants to double the money now.." Jimmy said sadly, putting her hands over his head.

"So double the money then and pay him off!!" Theresa suggested.

"But we don't have that kind of money to pay him off.." He said putting his hands down on the table looking at her.

"Didn't you say you just sold the company....I believe our company is worth millions." Marissa commented walking back to her seat.

"It is but our company is suffering from major drawback...I hate to admit this but majorly, it's because of me....I've been laundering money from our company....and now..our company is suffering because of it..... the shipments to other company was delayed because there was no funding.....and now one by one...our clients are trying to pull out their account...." He said sadly, looking down ashamed of his actions.

"Jimmy...you didn't mention that to me??" Julie looked at him shocked.

"Well, I didn't know that it would come to this!" He looks at her guiltily, "what I did is auction my shares of stock and well, since many already knew that our company is falling apart.....no one really wanted to buy it.....then out of nowhere....someone gave me an offer I couldn't resist." He explained, somewhat hopeful.

"He paid me a lot of money which is good but I had to pay also the people that I owe money from....so all that's left is enough for us and for the pay off..but now that he's asking to double the money....I'm having a hard time making the most out of our money." he said defeated.

"So in other words...we really are broke??" Theresa said again in dismay, Julie and Marissa didn't say a word since they're still processing the information inside their head, not really wanting to believe what he just said.

"I'm really sorry about all this..." He looks at them sadly, "I know this is too much to handle in one sitting."

"So Dad how much time did he give you to pay him off??" Marissa asks worriedly.

"Two days and if I didn't pay him....." Jimmy looks at his family worried about them, "They might hurt you.....your mom or your sister and I don't want that to happen...I won't forgive myself if something happened to anyone of you."

"How much did you owe them dad??" Marissa looked at him and waited for an answer as Jimmy and Julie looked at each other before they answered.