Clarke giggled when she hit the door with her back. Lexa was shushing her, but the girl was far gone. Monty's moonshine really did not have the best effect on her. Lexa shook her head when she saw Clarke hunching down the door, too drunk to stand. The last two weeks had been rough on them, the conversation they had last had about Lexa's past had taken its toll in the details of their now new relationship, but they were getting through it. It also didn't help that Lexa's schoolwork was taking up most of her time.

They had had a fantastic night. They had hung out with all their friends, danced and drank, Clarke more than Lexa, which was evident now, and just had a laid back time. There was no drama, no insecurities, just fun.

Clarke placed one hand on Lexa's shoulder, then the other, with an audible slap, and attempted at holding her gaze. "You, are, the most," Clarke slurred, "You're so pretty," Clarke hunched her head so endearingly. Lexa was shaking her head more but marveled at the girl swaying in front of her.

"I miss you so much," Clarke whimpered before she leaned onto Lexa.

"I was with you all night, and I'm still here," Lexa pointed out with an amused smile.

"Yes, but I barely saw you this week." Clarke pouted and created a small pile of guilt in Lexa's chest. "

"I'm sorry, baby," She offered, but Clarke shook her head.

"No, it's not your fault, but I do miss- you!" The girl was raising her voice, and Lexa had to shush her again. She chuckled.

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

"Octavia!" Clarke shouted sounding excited, and Lexa had to muffle her voice. Octavia and Raven had gone home early, so she would be asleep. It was three in the morning and not only would she wake up Octavia, but she would wake up the whole damn building. She snaked her hands in Clarke's pocket earning a gasp from the blonde.

"I like where this is going," Clarke's playful revelation colored Lexa's cheek in a dark shade of red. Clarke reached out and started kissing Lexa's neck, completely distracting the girl from her task. It was the first time things were getting heated, but they never managed to take things to the next level, and Lexa was certain this was not the right time considering Clarke's was utterly and completely off her face. The other reason was the constant fear someone would walk in on them, because they had been walked in on, on several occasions by either Monty or Octavian and Raven- yes those two had become a package deal of late.

"Clarke-" Lexa breath untangling herself from the girl's grasp. "Stop," She smiled and finally located the girl's keys. She fumbled a little until she managed to turn the lock silently. When Lexa peaked her head inside to herd Clarke quietly, she realized Octavia wasn't here. Her shoulders slumped, and she closed the door behind them while turning on a night light.

"She's not here," Clarke murmured sadly. It wasn't a secret Clarke had started feeling slightly left out as her two friends were, understandingly so, spending more time with each other alone. "Big surprise there," Clarke muttered as she sat down and thought Lexa looked particularly beautiful with the orange light coloring the lighter strands of her hair golden.

Lexa was still looking for Clarke's pajamas, but Clarke husked, "Leave it. Just- come here," Lexa breathed in tightly, feeling Clarke's tone of voice crawl down her skin, alongside her breasts, rippling down her thighs and flushing her core. Clarke giggled when Lexa bobbed her throat, knowing what effect she had. God did she want her.

"You're trouble," Lexa scolded teasingly as she sat down next to the blonde. Clarke didn't respond, she simply replied with pulling Lexa down with her and kissing her. Clarke found Lexa's ass quickly with Monty's moonshine backing her spirit.

"Clarke-" Lexa whispered. "You're drunk." Lexa pointed out while resting her elbows alongside Clarke's face. Clarke flipped them around, not content with that comment, but as she moved upwards, a little too quickly, her head spun, and she felt sick.

"Uh oh," She mumbled and got off Lexa's lap to run to her bathroom. Her knees hit the ground right in time before the vomit gurgled up her throat and hit the water. Lexa ran after her and held her hair while rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry," Clarke cried, but Lexa shushed her. It didn't last long, Clarke pretty much emptied her stomach within two minutes. She flushed the toilet and was breathing erratically as she held the toilet bowl. Her eyes stung, and a few tears waddled down.

"Come on," Lexa helped her up and put toothpaste on her toothbrush.

"I'm really sorry Lex," Clarke whimpered, but Lexa chuckled.

"It's okay baby. We've all been there," She said kissing Clarke's head. Lexa started unzipping Clarke's dress with her eyes closed.

"You can look you know?" Clarke, now completely sober, murmured as she leaned back into Lexa's embrace. Lexa opened her eyes but kept her gaze on Clarke's face. The only time her eyes diverted was when she helped Clarke step out of her dress. The girl stood in her underwear and bra, and Lexa went to retrieve the pajamas she had spotted in Clarke's closet. Meanwhile, without thinking Clarke discarded her bra because she didn't sleep with one. When Lexa re-entered the bathroom, however, she turned around quickly and closed her eyes shut.

"God, give a girl some warning, Clarke-" Lexa stuttered. Clarke chuckled and approached the girl from behind and reached out for her pj's.

"Sorry," She quickly pulled the shirt over her head and added, "You can open your eyes now." Clarke smiled. She pecked Lexa's lips and simpered. "I just feel really comfortable around you, and I'm probably still buzzed which is helping but-" Clarke tightened her lips, feeling shy, "Doesn't make it any less true,"

Lexa's face softened, and slowly a loving smile tugged at Lexa's lips. She cornered Clarke against the wall and kissed her. There was little passion to their embrace, but the kiss conveyed her raw emotions.

"Come on. You need to get to sleep," Lexa ordered and backed Clarke into the bed. She laid her down and tucked her in, kissing her forehead.

"Stay," Clarke asked and her voice hoarse from the night. Lexa hesitated, she bit her lip but eventually agreed.

"Okay," She whispered.

Waking up to Lexa felt like coming home to Clarke. The last time she woke up to Lexa was back at Christmas, at her grandparents' house. She leaned on her elbow and traced Lexa's face with soft fingers. It felt so amazingly different than it did. Allowing herself to be with Lexa, really be with her, made Clarke realize how well she knew Lexa's body language. How Lexa would hold her arms together, by grasping her arm, behind her back when she felt nervous for example. How she would count the rings on her fingers right before stepping on stage. Or how she would run her hand through her hair over and over again after coming back from the pool. She was so occupied with her own fears before she had not registered how much she knew, and how now, things appeared to be so amazingly familiar like they had been together for ages.

She hadn't told Lexa she loved her back yet. It wasn't because she was scared, but it felt like it was something so important to say, she wanted to find the best moment ever to tell her. It almost felt like a proposal. Clarke smirked at her own thread of thoughts. The sun was peeking from underneath the curtains which told Clarke that it was almost midday.

A small sigh escaped from Lexa's lips after she woke up and felt Clarke's fingers tracing her features. She smiled and without opening her eyes wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist and curled into her, effectively hiding her face in the crook of Clarke's neck. She breathed in Clarke's smell and refused to open her eyes because that meant she would have to get up.

"Morning," Clarke husked into Lexa's ear. Lexa groaned and nuzzled Clarke's skin.

"Five more minutes," Lexa mumbled while rubbing circles over Clarke's back. It's funny how touching someone else's body could give her this much comfort.

"We don't have to get up if you don't want to," Clarke chuckled and finally Lexa peeked from under her blonde hairs. Lexa's right arm was resting over her head, and Clarke greedily entwined their hands before she leaned in and rubbed their noses together.

"How's your head?" Lexa asked her hand kneading Clarke's hip.

"It's fine, just feels a little tense but definitely not a hangover." Clarke declared. Lexa marveled at the blonde above her and embraced the silence. Then she leaned forward with tingles in the pit of her stomach and kissed her. Her hands found their way under Clarke's shirt and enjoyed the warmth there.

Every time Lexa's hands passed by Clarke's side she wished that just once the girl would redirect her hands and give her breasts the attention they were desperately seeking. Lexa was respectful, frustratingly so. After all, Lexa was the experienced one. Clarke hardly knew what she was doing, but whatever it was, she craved for it. Clarke leaned further into Lexa and coaxed her mouth open with her tongue. Clarke found confidence in the whimper that escaped Lexa's mouth when their tongues crazed one another. It was playful and light until Clarke allowed her body more power than she intended to.

Without meaning to, as if her body had taken control, her thigh slipped between Lexa's legs and felt Lexa's hand, which had fit around her body, halt on her hip. The brunette looked up at her, eyes wide which immobilized Clarke completely. The girl froze above her and blinked. Lexa didn't tell her to stop, to get off, and the two simply watched each other breathe, watched each other's eyes flicker. Clarke tentatively pushed forward and watched Lexa close her eyes while her mouth hung open and only a light gasp echoed through the room. Lexa was shuddering and so warm beneath her. Lexa's hand curled tightly around Clarke's hip, but there was no rejection in her actions. Her lips called for her, and so Clarke crazed Lexa's plump lips, only for a moment, still enamored by the vision beneath her.

Clarke bit her lip and focused solely on her movements, which felt so particular, probably because she was so nervous. All her blood seemed to rush to her center, and she moaned loudly when she felt Lexa wet on her thigh. She widened her eyes but never halted her movements. She had had sex before, but having the girl she loved, powerless and wet beneath her, aroused her more than ever. She couldn't figure out whether it was the girl part, the Lexa part, or the love part that had caused it, perhaps it was all of it.

Clarke kissed her once more and snaked her hands up Lexa's thighs, dragging her into her knee with one swift motion.

"Fuck-" Lexa cursed and lifted her own knee between Clarke's legs finding throbbing heat there. Without wasting another moment, she pulled Clarke down harshly and kissed her avidly because the sudden craving for Clarke's lips was like a fever. Clarke realized only then that Lexa's legs were bare and unrelenting in their grip around her own. Lexa shuffled up, seeking contact and that's when Clarke gave another experimental push that had them both moaning and lurching uncontrollably into one another.

"Clarke-" Lexa husked and opened her eyes, licking Clarke's bottom lip. Clarke quivered with pleasure and pressed their foreheads together. They could hardly catch their breaths. Clarke curled her hands in the fabric of the sheet, above Lexa's head, and realized how much she needed Lexa in every way possible, how difficult it would be to imagine her life without her now. A few months ago, that thought alone would have had her terrified and running for the hills, but now enticed her to express how she felt more.

She lowered her body to Lexa's and gave another bold rock of her hips, loving the way that Lexa whimpered helplessly. Clarke found pleasure in the power she had, though she didn't want to push Lexa. She wanted Lexa to be able to tell her to stop if that's what she wanted, for she would do so at this point, so when she finally found a steady rhythm, her movements remained tentative and careful. Lexa didn't say anything. Instead, she mimicked Clarke's rhythm and nibbled on Clarke's pulse point showing the blonde how much she wanted her too. Both their bodies strung tighter with each movement, their skin hot and desperate and then finally their mouths joined the embrace, tasting each other's lips and skin.

Lexa's hands flattened on Clarke's stomach to lift her shirt over her head, but before she could do so, the lock of the door turned and with that the presence of Clarke's body was gone.

"Hey, Clarkey!" Octavia chanted when she and Raven entered the room. Thankfully the room was dark enough to cover both of their crimson colored faces. Lexa looked at Clarke who was flattening down her disheveled hair and reminded Lexa of her own.

"And Lexa," Raven smirked as she opened the curtains and the brunette quickly made work of her hair, pulling it into a ponytail by using the hair band which rested on the nightstand. "Well...How did you two spend your night?" Raven teased.

Clarke quickly bit back, "How did you?" Her tone was irritated, and it surprised the three others. Clarke stood up and barged into the bathroom while closing the door behind her. Awkwardly Lexa waited for the inevitable sound of a shower and looked at the other two.

"Damn," Octavia widened her eyes. The two sat on Octavia's bed awkwardly while Lexa covered herself with the blanket. She eyed her pants that were lying on the floor and wished the two would leave so she could at least get dressed.

When Clarke finished her shower a few minutes later, she came out of the bathroom, still seemingly grumpy, which evidently confused Lexa. Clarke saw that Lexa was still undressed and looked unsettled. She sighed and picked it up then handed it gently to Lexa.

Raven cleared her throat and said, "So they're serving Mac n Cheese downstairs if you guys want to have some food with us." She smiled but somehow Clarke didn't seem to react. Lexa wanted to ask what was wrong, but then she remembered that Octavia hadn't come home and she hadn't told Clarke, and this was one of the many little things that made Clarke feel completely left out.

Sometimes when they watched a movie together, her phone would buzz and when Lexa asked if she was going to answer it, she would reply 'It's probably Raven getting back to me three days after I ask to hang out to tell me she can't.'

"I guess," Clarke muttered. Raven looked at Octavia and shifted awkwardly.

"Damn girl. If I'd known blue balls made you this grumpy, we would've left you guys to it and gone do something else on our own." Raven snapped and Clarke's eyes filled with hurt.

"Well, that would surprising, you two blowing me off to spend time together." Clarke hated the way she sounded. They had every right to spend time together, alone, just like she and Lexa did. She just missed her friends.

"We hung out yesterday." Octavia pointed out.

"No, we met up with the whole group and you guys left after an hour while barely paying any attention to anyone else. If you're trying to keep your relationship on the down low, you're doing a poor job." Clarke chided, but she didn't feel like she had a right.

Clarke looked at the astonished look on her friends and regretted her outburst. She sighed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," she deplored and got up.

"No- Clarke-" Octavia fretted.

"It's fine O', I'm just hungry and tired, and yeah you kind of-" She looked at Lexa who still sat there undressed. She widened her eyes. "Shit, can you guys give us a minute so she can-" Clarke got distracted by Lexa's state of dress.

Octavia scowled at Raven who was still sitting on the bed. The girl quickly stood up as if she was still processing what Clarke told her. "Clarke, come on you're still our wife, the whole-" Raven was stuttering and trying to backtrack from the last weeks of cancellations and neglect she realized she had inflicted on her friend.

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Rae-" Clarke sighed and realized they wouldn't leave with her still in the room as well. She opened the door and walked outside with her friends on her tail as she had expected. She closed the door and waited for Lexa to get ready. She rubbed her eyes painfully as she leaned against the pale wall.

Octavia looked at Raven, who was looking back at her with the same guilty expression. During the time that they had been figuring things out between them, they had unintentionally deserted Clarke. They had just gotten caught up with each other and considering Clarke was with Lexa and happy they didn't regard Clarke, but on the other hand, Raven did feel slightly annoyed. She was allowed to spend time with her...with Octavia.

"Are we really that obvious?" Octavia asked to break the silence, and it made Clarke sigh. She knew how sensitive the subject was for Octavia and she felt ashamed that she had mentioned it.

"You can be..." Clarke muttered. "But it's okay, no one cares. Everyone is happy for you,"

"Everyone?" Octavia stuttered, "Who else knows? Who suspects?"

"Not Bellamy," Clarke replied knowing that was the only answer Octavia cared about. She watched the girl slump back, seemingly relieved. "I'm sorry for bursting out like that. You have every right to spend time together." Clarke expressed. She had expected Raven and Octavia to spend time alone, but deep down she had never realized how different things would be. They had canceled on her on more than once, hell more than three times consecutively in the last three weeks and Clarke had kept her mouth shut, understanding the situation. It didn't mean she didn't miss her friends and the embarrassment of this morning had laced the irritation in her heart, and she had expressed that feeling poorly.

Before either girl could reply to her, Lexa walked out, now fully clothed. "Sorry, continue, I'll be getting that Mac n Cheese."

"No wait, Lex." Clarke grasped Lexa's hand, finding comfort there. "It was a good idea Rae. We can go if you still want to." Clarke tried.

The lunch had been awkward and even though both sides had attempted at starting a conversation, an awkward silence penetrated their interaction. Clarke remained quiet, even as she walked Lexa to her therapy session. Her mother wanted to see her, and her office was a little beyond the medical center.

"I think you should try talking to them again," Lexa exclaimed after a while. "Communication is key, even if it's not with me." She piped but then added, "That wasn't meant to rhyme." Lexa's awkwardness tore laughter from Clarke's lips.

"You're cute," She beamed, but then her face fell, "And yeah I know, I will. I just feel unjustified, probably cause I am so it's a hard subject to breach."

"Yeah I get that, but I don't think it's completely unfair to want to hang out with your two best friends. They've been blowing you off more often than not." Lexa pointed out angrily. She hated watching her girlfriend's mood turn blue every time either Raven or Octavia ignored her or canceled on her last minute. She understood being in love and having a new relationship, in that situation, you would see nothing else, she understood that better than anyone. The amount of time she spent with Clarke was a testimony of that, but she still made time to hang out with Niylah, alone. She made sure, Monty and she had their weekly noodle night, albeit sometimes with Clarke when Monty asked if she would join.

Clarke cracked a small smile and entwined their fingers, "Thanks," She leaned her head on Lexa's shoulder. "They have a right, though. I just miss them." Clarke confessed and felt Lexa respond with a chaste kiss on her head.

"Alright, here we are. " Lexa swung their hands from one side to another. "Good luck with your mom," She teased, and Clarke shook her head.

"God, what if she tells me she's marrying Marcus." Clarke blanched.

"He is not that bad," Lexa argued while she chuckled. Clarke widened her eyes with confusion.

"He only cooks with cauliflower. He's weird." Clarke stated feeling uncomfortable. "Just so you know, you're coming next time,"

"Oh am I?" Lexa arched her eyebrows. She had been terribly busy and missed the last two dinners at Abby's place. She remembered the first dinner after they had gotten together (unofficially), it had been awkward.

"Yes, you're not leaving me alone this time." Clarke declared determinedly, and Lexa continued chuckled. She then leaned in to capture Clarke's lips.

"I'll see if I can fit you in my tight schedule." She teased, echoing Clarke's words from earlier that day and Clarke punched her lightly on the arm.

"Asshole," she joked, and Lexa raised her arms in defense, which allowed her to see her watch. Her cheerful disposition quickly turned frightful.

"Shit, I really have to go!" She urged checking her watch. "Okay, love you," She muttered quickly before pecking Clarke's lips one last time.

"I love you too," Clarke replied but then snapped her mouth shut. Lexa turned on her heels and mimicked Clarke's astonished expression that quickly softened and transformed into a smile.

"I mean- no!" Clarke yammered.

"No?" Lexa questioned.

"I mean- yes," Clarke sounded frustrated. She didn't want to say it like this!

"Which one is it?" Lexa asked with a playful tone to her voice. Clarke pouted and looked up from under her lashes.

"I wasn't supposed to say it now, not like this. I wanted to like- I don't know, make a gesture. I wanted to show you," Clarke whined while moving her arms around fervently.

"You do," Lexa laughed and circled her arms around her girlfriend, and kissing her nose. "I can always forget you've said it and you can make a whole thing about it." Lexa maintained.

"No, because that would make it look like I wasn't ready, I am, I've been, I just wanted to be romantic for once," Clarke babbled.

"For once? Honey, you never doing anything without dramatic flair,"

"And I maintain what I said before. You're an ass, but I do love you," Clarke murmured, and it caused flutters in Lexa's chest.

"I love you too," She responded but the opening of the automatic doors behind them when a student walked out reminded Lexa just how late she was. "I still have to go," She uttered as she hurried off but not before yelling, "And be nice to your mom!"

"Yeah, yeah," Clarke chuckled.

Notes:

I know this chapter was kind of short... I've said it before I'm struggling to find the motivation and inspiration to keep writing this one, but I really didn't want to discontinue this or make you wait more than 3 weeks. -_- 3 weeks honestly. I'm sorry.

Anyways I hoped you did enjoy the chapter and I'm always thankful for your follows/favs and reviews.

See you next time folks!