I'm giving this a very large trigger warning for suicide and death. I had a different story planned for this until I saw the video and heard the actual song. Woah. I'm sorry if you guys hate me for this, I swear the next one will be so fluffy, you'll see it from Mars.

Sunshine.

Sunshine is something that I will miss. Well, I'll miss the grass too. I kind of want to bundle up the buttery sun in a bag to take with me. There's not much that would make me stay, but sunshine is one. I fingered the little navy blue scrap- the last piece that I had of you. My head is swimming with memories, or they could be hallucinations- I haven't eaten in a few days.

I'm perched on the end of the bathtub- our bathtub. I've researched this heavily and I have chosen how we shall be be reunited, Jane. I'll get there baby girl, you've always been faster than me. You're like the wind in that sense, you lift my hair and tickle my cheeks when you pass. My shoes don't match my pants I realized. Hmm.., it doesn't matter anymore. I wonder if I've fed bass enough, I hope that he'll be okay. I never realized just how sad it is when pets outlive their owners.

I can hear the ice cream truck driving down the street- I wonder if Angela will take TJ to go get some. I wonder what she will do when she fin-

no.

no seconds thoughts Maura. You know better than this- you have to meet Jane. She's waiting for you. She's probably upset with you, you're never late and is she ever impatient. She said she'd never leave you. She just ran away for a little bit. Look at you, yelling at yourself in your damned head.

I had rubbed the square of Jane's blues so roughly in the three days since she ran away that the once rough fabric is smooth. Her medal of honor is laying on her side of the bed, next to Jo Friday- who hadn't moved since you broke the news that Jane wasn't coming back to walk her. You put that in your letter right? That Frankie needs to take her in once he's released? Well, Angela is a smart woman, she'll know what to do.

Angela, my mother. Well, she's close enough to be my adopted Mother- she knows so much more about myself than Constance does. If I think about her face when she sees that her other daughter has died, I'll choke and never find Jane. I can't back out now- don't be a quitter Maura.

The pills are right there taunting me- telling me that I'm too weak to do this. They're trying to keep me from her, from Jane my soulmate. I need to tell her that I love her, before she finds someone else.

Oh no! What if she's found someone there already?

You mustn't wait any longer Maura, you're simply stalling now. You need to find Jane, she needs to know that you love her- that's why she ran away. You need to run to her Maura, you need to catch up to her. She's waiting for you with open arms.

If you squint hard enough, and you stop breathing for a little bit- you can see here there with arms wide open. She's calling for you Maura, do you hear that? You can't wait another minute.

The pills are jagged and rough, they aren't very good. They stick to my throat and they scratch going down. I choke them down, am I crying? I can't even feel my face anymore. I shiver, probably out of hunger more than anything else, so I pull Jane's hoodie closer to my body. I stand up, with a sense of peace. Jane will be in my arms soon and that thought alone makes me beam. My body aches from being in this position on the edge of the tub so I stand, albeit a bit wobbly. I shouldn't feel anything for about 10 minutes, so I go lay down on my bed-our bed. I snuggled under the blankets and bring Jo to my abdomen. Jane's medal of honor is on her pillow, making a ruckus.

I lay my head down on the pillow and bring the medal to my lips, pretending I was kissing Jane, not a golden representative of her soul.

After a few minutes I can feel myself drifting towards the heavens. I look up and I swear on a God that I don't believe that my girl is right there. Her hair is everywhere and she's smiling, good Lord her dimples are divine. She's so close, and she's running towards me. I stretch my arms out and cry out to her.

I will run, I will run to you Jane. I will.

I will run.

Angela Rizzoli screamed and beat the fragile white body underneath the covers. How could she lose another child, her last daughter? What had she done that was so terrible? This family was falling apart: first her daughter gets killed in the line of duty, her son nearly died in the same incident. Now, here was Maura clutching Jane's medal to her chest. Angela perked as she heard a tiny whisper

"I'll run, I'll run, I'll run to you" it was barely audible in the silent room.

She wasn't gone yet! Angela hurried and called 911, screaming that her baby wasn't dead.

I was walking on a beach, the wind in my hair. But, where was Jane? A warm hand on her shoulder made her turn.

There she was- Jane Rizzoli. She was wearing a black bikini- my favorite thing she ever owned. She didn't speak, she just kissed me softly. Her eyes were warm chocolate and she smiled into our kiss. She wiped away one of my tears and she spun me around and kissed my neck. I turned back around to kiss my love again but, she was gone?

Where was Jane? She'd just found her! She-

"She's back!" someone yelled loudly.

I just groaned, who was back?

"We've got her stable, someone call Mercy? ETA is five minutes!"

"Oh Maura" was that Angela? "Don't run away baby girl, you're the only daughter that I have left"

Was she alive? She had failed? No. No. Nononononononono..

I'll try again later, when everyone is asleep. I will find Jane. I will run to Jane

I will run to Jane.