Chapter 36: Shades of the Truth

DAMON

Going crazy is fucking boring.

I've just been sitting here drinking since Caroline hauled my supplies in, and nothing has happened. When somebody comes to check on me, I'll have to ask for a book. I guess if they bring it, I'll know it was a real person, not a hallucination. Or maybe the hunter's curse is potent enough that I can hallucinate whole books. If they bring me Nietzsche, then it is definitely a hallucination.

There's a noise on the stairs. Great, let's get this party started.

My brother's face appears on the other side of the bars. Yup, right on schedule, and the predictable cast of characters too. I enjoy a moment of smugness that I so thoroughly crippled the hunter's curse with my no-visit list.

"Hello, Hallucinatory Stefan," I say pleasantly.

"That's not funny, Damon."

That sounds like real Stefan. Of course it is supposed to sound like real Stefan, but if it is him, I don't want him to think I lost my shit this fast. I take a swig of whiskey to hide my internal debate.

"Well, we had a deal. And it didn't include visiting hours. So, shoo fly. Find me a hunter prodigy to brainwash."

"We will. We've just been busy trying to get Elena to feed."

"What? This whole time?"

"Marian really did a number on her. Every time she's tried she's just freaked out and blurred away, but she wouldn't give up because she's dead set on getting you a hunter."

"Why didn't anybody come get me? I would have gotten her to feed."

Stefan gives me a look to remind me that he wouldn't approve of my methods. I smirk at him to cover the fact that I hadn't actually been planning to do anything other than talk to her.

"It's fine. She's feeding on Matt right now. Besides, you can't be trusted, remember? When Elena was like this she stabbed me with a bed frame."

"So? I don't have to be crazy to want to stab you."

He ignores me. "As soon as we straighten out this hunter thing, we need to talk. I was just about to call you when you called to say that Elena had been kidnapped."

"What, you want to tell me you're dating Caroline?"

His head snaps back in surprise. "What? Caroline and I aren't…dating."

I laugh. "Yeah, that really cleared up the suspicion. It's fine, brother. We don't need to have a heart to heart for you to start playing spin the bottle with Vampire Barbie."

"That's not what we need to talk about," Stefan says.

He's got at least a two-furrow-brow right now. Huh.

"Is it about the hunter's curse? 'Cause that might be time-sensitive."

"No. We'll just talk when I get back. Damon, I–" he falters. We're up to three furrows.

I raise an eyebrow. "Let me guess. If you die getting me a hunter, you want me to have your Precious Moments collection. Save it, Stef. Newbie hunters aren't that tough, and you can nab me a sacrificial vampire without breaking a sweat. Take your new girlfriend if you need some extra muscle. Don't tell her I said so, but she's getting to be pretty decent in a fight."

His lips twist into a reluctant smile. "Glad to see you still care, brother. No, I'm a lot more worried about finding a potential hunter. I'm going after the vampire, anyway, since that's the bigger risk."

"So tell me what's really rumpling your forehead. I've got nothing but time and you can't go anywhere until Elena finishes her lunch."

"You don't need this in your head before you deal with all these halluc–"

"Don't give me that 'you can't handle the truth' bullshit," I cut in. "I'm the only one around here who can consistently hear the truth and figure out a way to make it my bitch. Now spill. I'm bored."

Stefan takes a deep breath and looks down. When his eyes come back to mine they are sincere, steady. The I'm-a-good-man look that Stefan pulls off like it's in his DNA, which it can't be because it's sure not in mine. Prissy little fuck.

"Look, I know we haven't spent much time together since we turned. And after we came back to Mystic Falls a lot of stuff happened, and I've been pissed at you most of the time and said some things I didn't mean." He looks down. "But for all that, we make a good team."

"Did I miss the part where I got cancer and ended up on the Lifetime Network? Jesus, Stefan, get a tissue and go kill me a vampire for shit's sake."

He ignores me, undeterred from his regularly scheduled deathbed confession. It's a little depressing how everyone is giving me their last words.

"Before you have to go through this, I want you to know that I love you. And whatever happened between us in the past, I really am proud of you."

"Aww, thanks Dad," I say sarcastically.

Stefan bites the insides of his lips like he always does when he's uncomfortable.

"You know you look like James Dean making a fish face when you do that? Tell me you don't do it around chicks."

That gets a laugh out of him.

"Don't worry, brother," I tell him casually. "I'm the perfect candidate for a hunter's curse. I'm immune to guilt trips. Besides, it was worth it to kill that bitch. She's just lucky I was on a tight schedule. I would have liked to have made a weekend of it."

"Right." He's still frowning.

"What?" I ask, exasperated.

"I ran into Professor Shane in the woods. He's a vampire, by the way. Drinks animal blood."

"Huh?"

Stefan glances up the stairs. "There's not much time. Look, he said that doppelgangers are kind of a keystone species of the supernatural world and they weren't just made for the hybrid ritual. That's why Esther used Elena's blood to bind Ric's hunter spell and to tie all her children together. The point being that the spell that made doppelgangers also gave them bodyguards. Guardians."

I frown.

"Pairs of brothers," Stefan says, his eyes darkening. "Spelled to protect them."

"What?" I ask weakly, my mind already screaming through possibilities.

And then I remember. The hunter's curse. I smile.

"Yeah. Time for that later. You've got places to be, vampires to sacrifice, humans to corrupt."

He looks puzzled but nods. "Yeah. We can talk when I get back. Take care, Damon."

I wave with artificial cheer at my hallucinatory brother. Wow, Elena was right. This ghosty bullshit is convincing. It even knew Stefan's facial expressions. How the hell do they do that?

# # #

ELENA

Once I finally get some blood down my throat, I'm a quick, heartfelt "Thank you," and out the door within thirty seconds, my brother jogging to keep up. Right now, anything that's not forward movement makes me itch like my cells are going to start fist-fighting each other.

"Jeremy, you have no idea how sorry I am," I tell him as soon as we're on the road. "I'm incredibly grateful you're even willing to get in a car with me right now."

He slants me an incredulous look. "After what she did to you? If you weren't the reigning queen of willpower, I'd have been dead hours ago. That was amazing, Elena. Marian–" his voice threatens to crack and he clears his throat and scratches his head. "She'd been through a lot. I know she never would have been like that if she wasn't kidnapped as a kid. I can hardly believe what she did to you, that she thought it would make me want to be a hunter."

I turn down the back road shortcut toward Professor Shane's office and hit the gas.

"I think she did me a favor instead, because it's easier now," Jeremy tells me. "I can still feel the tug when I look at a vampire, but it's simpler to see the person underneath. I almost feel like I did before I became a hunter."

"I don't think she was entirely sane," I tell him, because she's dead. It won't hurt anything to give him a reason not to blame her, even if he only cares about her because of the bond between hunters.

I really hope it was only the hunter's bond. Jeremy's luck with women is unbelievably bad. It's probably lucky for Bonnie that they broke up. I wince, wondering what he thought of me showing Bonnie the door. One of these days, Jeremy and I have a lot of catching up to do.

"Maybe not," he says wistfully. "Anyway, we don't have to talk about her right now." He clears his throat again. "Do we have a plan? You and Stefan and Caroline were just about breaking into vampire-speed talking when we were figuring this all out and I sort of gave up after the third go-around."

"Kyle is really upset about Marian, although Caroline said he didn't blame us. He said he'd help us find a potential hunter if we could come up with a plan that was better than just wandering around pointing hopefully to your tattoos. So we are headed to Professor Shane's because Kyle doesn't know of any other potential hunters. Matt is going back to Marian's apartment to see if he can turn up any evidence that she knew one."

Jeremy gives me a sidelong glance. "None of those seem like very good leads."

"They're not," I say tightly.

He doesn't say another word for the rest of the car ride.

I nearly break the doorframe on the way into Professor Shane's office because I push before I'm done turning the doorknob. Jeremy raises an eyebrow at me when he hears the crack of wood.

"Maybe you'd better let me get the doors," he suggests.

Professor Shane's at his desk when we enter and he looks up with a polite smile that doesn't make it to his eyes.

"Look, like I told your friend on the phone, I don't know where any potential hunters are. I don't have any tattoos to show them and even if I did, there are only a handful spread across the world."

"Is there only one potential for every hunter?" Jeremy asks.

"Not as far as I know," Professor Shane says. "But they're hard to find."

"Will I be drawn to potential hunters?" Jeremy asks, dropping into a chair.

I tighten my muscles, trying not to pace. Stefan warned me to be careful, because if Professor Shane was lying about being a vegetarian vampire he might be stronger than me. Stefan wanted to come with me, but I sent him on his way because I have no idea how long it will take him to come up with a vampire evil enough to sacrifice but not too strong to be taken prisoner.

"I don't think so. Maybe," Professor Shane says absently, making a mark on one of the papers in front of him.

"Then why did you say hard to find instead of impossible? You must have found some," I accuse. His eyebrows bounce as if conceding my point, but then he marks another paper without answering.

"What do you want?" I ask him. "Money? Magic? I know some very powerful people," I bluff. "Stefan says you became a vampire because you wanted to learn everything there was to know about the hidden world of the supernatural." I sweep my arms out. "I've learned a heck of a lot about rituals, curses, and hybrids in the last couple years. I'll tell you anything you want to know, get you in touch with whatever kind of creature you want to meet. Just give us the names and addresses of whoever you think might be a hunter."

He taps his pen on his desk. "Elena, I've had an eye on Mystic Falls for some time. I doubt you could tell me anything I couldn't expand upon." He smiles. "For example, that vampire cure you're looking for. It's not exactly just a vampire cure."

"I don't care," I say through my teeth. I can feel my canines starting to sharpen as I lose my fragile hold on my temper. "I need a cure for the hunter's curse right now, not a cure for vampirism."

"I can't help you," he says mildly. "I'm sorry."

I take one running step and leap up onto his desk, landing a kick to his chin that sends him and his chair flying. When they fetch up against the far wall, I'm already there, flipping him facedown onto the floor. I twist his hand into a submission hold that Ric taught me and stomp my low-heeled boot between his shoulder blades as he cries out in pain.

"Elena!" Jeremy's out of his chair. "We don't have to... Jesus, Elena!"

"You know how long Klaus was under that curse?" I ask Jeremy. "Fifty-two years. Before the earth magic chose another hunter and they killed a vampire. That's a lifetime, Jeremy, of the most horrible insanity you can imagine."

I turn back to Professor Shane. He's straining against my hold, but he can't move far without hurting himself. Ric knew his business. I wonder fleetingly if he is here, if he's shouting at me right along with Jeremy.

"I don't eat people," I tell Professor Shane. "But I drink enough human blood to make me strong. And I'll kill if I have to in order to protect my family." I swallow, trying to wipe the memory of Marian's screams out of my head. Trying to make my voice hard, instead of just desperate. "I'll do worse than kill, if you force me to it."

I shoot a glance at Jeremy. His fists are clenched. I wonder if he's fighting the urge to attack me or Shane, or maybe both of us.

"My friend is losing his mind right now. As long as he's suffering and I don't know how to find a hunter, I don't have any reason to leave here," I tell Professor Shane.

I lean a little more pressure onto my foot, just in case he tries anything. The heel of my boot grinds into his spine and his breath hisses out through his teeth. He doesn't say a thing.

I glance at Jeremy, my eyes pleading, but he holds his hands out to the sides, palms up. God, I miss Damon.

Ric said you could break someone's arm with this hold if you had to. I push it a little harder, twisting Shane's hand. I can feel the bones start to resist. Sweat breaks out on my forehead. What if he really doesn't know?

"You came here to find a Bennett witch, didn't you?" I accuse, hoping I sound knowing. Damon said he was obsessed with getting Bonnie's magic back, and as far as I can tell there are a lot of witches in the world. If he came looking for Bonnie it is because of her magical lineage.

"Elena, there are very powerful people who don't want me looking for potential hunters. And they are far more dangerous than you."

So dangerous is what he needs. I try to remember the sound of Stefan's voice when he was the Ripper. Careless, full of energy and possibilities, all of them terrible. I pretend that this leather jacket is a barrier between me and the worry that has been gnawing at my lungs, my kidneys, my throat. The only part of me I want right now is the part that will do what is necessary.

This time when I speak, my voice echoes like a room that is empty of all but blood and corpses.

"There were two, you know."

"Two what?" Professor Shane spits, his voice wrenched with pain.

"Two Bennett witches." I laugh and Jeremy flinches. "And then there was one. Would you like to know why? Would you like to know how easy it would be for there to be none? Bonnie and I were friends once." I should break his arm. If I break it, he'll give in, I know he will. "Not anymore," I tell him coldly. "I want a hunter, Professor. A lot more than I want one judgmental witch."

I shake my head once in negation because Jeremy can see, but Professor Shane can't.

"Look, I don't know for sure," Shane gasps. "I have two names, but it was Connor who went to test them and I can't be sure that he wasn't lying to me. And whether they are or aren't, you can't tell anyone that you got the names from me. If this secret gets out, even if I was wrong about them, it would be worth my life."

"Who doesn't want you to look for hunters?" Jeremy says, taking a step closer.

"Never mind that now," I snap, releasing Shane's arm but keeping him pinned to the floor because I can't let him see how my hands shake.

"Call Kyle, Jeremy. We're going after both those hunters."

# # #

DAMON

I turn another page in Gone with the Wind, and wish I would have asked Caroline to bring something from my German collection. Reading in German requires more focus, and I could use the distraction right now.

Nothing has happened for the last two hours. The only thing disturbing my reading time is the silent Elena in the corner swinging gently from a noose, the rope encrusted with her blood where it bites into her neck. Her face is bloated slightly with decomposition, her lips a putrid blue.

I flip to the next chapter. As long as I keep turning pages, the Ghost of Christmas Future can't get too gloaty on me.

Also, when I keep my eyes focused on the page, I can't see her. It's a pretty weak sauce strategy on Marian's part. Elena is a vampire and hanging her wouldn't do a thing unless you staked her first.

But I won't deny that it has a certain dramatic flair.

The crowning touch, the thing that really makes me want to tip my glass to the ghost of Marian dearest, is the faint smell of urine. An exact olfactory match to the scent of every execution I've ever witnessed, and there have been many.

I hear light footsteps on the basement stairs and deliberately relax the muscles in my face. I wonder if Marian will remove the fake dead Elena to make me believe in the fake alive Elena she's probably about to present me with.

Instead, Caroline's deliberately cheerful face appears in the barred window of the door.

"Hey. You hungry yet?"

"You offering?" I drawl.

Caroline's the only one that's supposed to come down here, but that doesn't mean that all the Carolines that visit are real. I don't dare ignore any of them, in case one is the real one. I'd rather not have my babysitter know how far adrift I am in the sea of crazy.

"Hey, maybe you noticed," she flicks her hair back over her shoulder. "I'm not a human anymore. The way you can tell the difference is that I can kick your ass now."

"Mmm," I rumble, sauntering over to the bars. I want to be left alone and flirting seems like expedient route to that goal. "Guess nobody's told the baby vampire about blood sharing."

"Yeah," she scoffs. "Did you miss the part where I was dating a human, then a hybrid? Not a great plan."

I give her a sexy little smirk. "Could be a fun way to pass the jail time."

The scent of ammonia burns in my nostrils.

"Wow, you sure didn't hold out against those hallucinations long," Caroline says and my shoulders stiffen. "If you think I'm attracted to you," she finishes snippily.

I can hear the creak of the rope as Elena swings slowly behind me.

I drop the smirk. "I'm fine. Beat it, Nurse Ratched. I've got pressing drinking to get to."

A hand touches my shoulder. I don't flinch, but every molecule of air in my lungs freezes in place.

"Are you hungry?" Caroline asks again from the other side of the door.

"Nah," I lie with a little eye flare. "Snacked on a crossing guard on the way home from killing Maid Marian. I love the taste of safety."

Caroline's forehead wrinkles in concern and she takes a step closer, dropping her voice. "Are you seeing something right now?"

"Other than a washed-up cheerleading captain? Nope."

The hand trails down my spine, fingers playing sensually with the muscles of my back. It's Katherine's hand. I'd know that touch anywhere. I blink and shift my weight so I don't look like I'm standing too stiffly.

The scent of a death sentence clashes with the sandalwood and dark spice of my ex-lover's perfume. How could Marian possibly know Katherine's signature scent?

Caroline's mouth turns down slightly at the corners. "Damon," she says in a quiet voice. "I want you to know that whatever happens today stays between us. Nobody, ever, is going to hear a word of this from me. So you don't have to pretend like you're okay."

I lean on the door, an amused half-smile disguising my face.

"Hey, I know you volunteered for babysitting duty so you could watch me suffer. So drop the fucking facetious Florence Nightingale act because in my playbook, that's totally fair. Pull up a chair, pop some popcorn and open a bottle of bubbly," I tell her, rolling the last word off my tongue for emphasis. "I was shitty to you, so you can gladly have a balcony view of my crazy show as soon as my lazy ass poltergeist gets around to paying me a visit."

Katherine's hand curves around my ass, her fingernails biting into me in a way that used to drive me wild. Her low, sensual laugh echoes in the small room.

"Look, Damon, you don't make my top five favorite people list. Or even my top ten. And just because I'm offering to help now, don't think for a second that I'm over how you abused me when we were dating. Because I don't forgive you and I'm never going to. Not only did you treat me like dirt, but you've made it perfectly clear lately that you can act like a gentleman, and I just wasn't worth the effort," Caroline says, her head swiveling on her neck in spunky outrage.

I smirk. "That's more like it, Blondie."

"But Elena's right. You're only half as big of a jerk as you pretend to be, and you've saved my butt a lot of times when you didn't have to," she says, her voice tight and prissy.

"Ah, she said I'm only half a jerk?" I taunt. "That's sweet. Tell her I said thanks."

"No, I said that," Caroline retorts and then growls, throwing her arms out and letting them fall with a slap on the sides of her thighs. "I'm trying to be nice here, why do you have to make it so hard?"

"That's what she said," I joke, because Katherine is purring promises of forever into my ear and it's hard to sort out the two conversations long enough to make a snappy comeback.

"You know, it's not my fault you're down here," Caroline snaps. "You could have just let Jeremy kill her, or you could have snapped his neck so he wouldn't get the chance."

"Yeah, and take the choice between him crazy from a cursed hunter or crazy from a cursed ring? Nobody fucking told me he had a hunter's curse vaccination. Trust me, Elena's not the easiest person to live with when Jeremy's locked in the basement."

"I don't want to live without you, Damon," Katherine whispers huskily. "I've been so lonely. I was afraid to admit how much I cared about you before, but I'm not now. I've never met a man like you, and I can't bear the thought of another hundred years without you."

Caroline snorts in a very un-ladylike manner. "This isn't about Elena. You never care if you piss her off. You just couldn't stand the thought that somebody else might have to kill Marian, because you always have to be the biggest badass around."

"Damn straight," I snap, and rip Katherine's hand off my crotch. Too late, I realize that was exactly the wrong thing to do.

Caroline's blue eyes follow the nonsensical movement of my hand with sympathy. She can't see Katherine. Caroline must be actually real. Or Marian wants the hallucinations to appear to be independent of each other, so I won't know which is real.

"Fucking flies," I say irritably. "They're drawn to the scent of the vervain we used to grow down here."

Caroline sighs. "Look, what I'm saying is that I know you did this to spare the rest of us, but you don't have to pretend like nothing's wrong. I know you're going to see things, but it's going to be okay, Damon," Caroline promises. "Elena just texted. She and Jeremy might know where to find a hunter. Nothing in there with you is real. The room is empty except for you."

"She's right, you know," Katherine says with a little giggle. "Because in real life, I never really wanted you. It was always Stefan that I loved, Stefan that I wanted to keep into eternity. He forced me to give you my blood, said that he didn't want to leave his brother." She sniffs. "Otherwise I would never have wasted it on you. You think you were the first lovesick boy to fall at my feet? Please. I've had centuries of them."

"Damon, look at me," Caroline says, and I realize my gaze has drifted.

I focus hard and block out the sound of creaking rope, the hint of rot and Elena's peach-scented soap.

"I don't need anyone to kill hunters for me and I don't give a shit if the bitch gets all pissy about it after she's dead." I sneer. "I'd kill her again just for fun."

"Yeah," she says, not unkindly. "You look like you're having loads of fun."

She steps forward and puts her hands on the bottom of the barred window. "Look, I don't know what's going on in there or what they're telling you, but believe me: you're annoying and cocky and rude. But you don't suck all the time. You let Tyler werewolf bite you for me, and at the first Miss Mystic Falls, you stepped up so Elena didn't get left at the altar before the big dance, because that would have been epically humiliating."

"Wait," I chuckle, but it comes out sounding more bitter than amused. "Are you saying I deserve to live because I stepped up to dance with a pretty girl? 'Cause it should have tipped me off when you started dating Tyler, but I guess I didn't realize how low your standards really were." I wave her off. "Your consolation speech is worse than the guilt trip."

She ignores me.

"Look, Elena and Stefan love you to death and if you weren't so mean and snarky all the time, other people might start to like you too. My mom likes you," she offers in a deliberately upbeat tone. "And you have nice taste in clothes."

I shake my head. "Wow, thanks for the pep talk, Blondie. Could you cross-stitch that on a pillow so I can carry your inspirational words with me always?"

She's unfazed. "I meant what I said, Damon. What happens in the dungeon stays in the dungeon. You don't have to do this alone."

I realize that Hallucinatory Katherine is gone. I don't check to see if Elena's still hanging in the corner. I don't want to know.

Caroline seems suspiciously real, though. I don't think anybody else on earth could have delivered that bizarre soliloquy but Caroline.

I shift uncomfortably.

"I'll just be upstairs," she says, turning to go. "I'll hear if you call."

"You know, the blonde airhead thing is a stereotype for a reason," I tell her.

"You can be as mean as you want, Damon," Caroline says with maternal patience. "Elena said you'd do that and I'm not falling for it, so just quit it already."

"I'm just saying. I've been snacking on dumb blondes for over a century. They're vapid, vain and annoying, but tasty. And above all, easily replaceable."

"Wow, this is inspired," Caroline says, her tolerance quickly giving way to her customary death glare. "Go ahead, Damon, prove me wrong."

I shrug and turn away. "Once you're a vampire for a few decades, you'll see. People aren't as unique as they want to think they are, and they sure as hell aren't interesting. Giggly young cheerleaders especially, which is why I usually pick them for my chew toys."

"Your point?" she asks, her foot tapping a staccato rhythm on the floor.

"You're not one of them," I say simply, lying down on my mattress. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get some beauty sleep before the Society for Vampire Suicide shows up to make their presentation."

I fully expect her to never let me hear the end of that, so I'm surprised by the silence that follows my statement. I keep my eyes closed because I'm already regretting my semi-apology, but eventually I hear her quiet footsteps receding, so I call after her.

"Hey, Florence?"

"Yeah?" she asks softly.

I'm not sure, but I think there might be a quaver to her voice. Better fucking not be. I'd take fake lynched Elena over a leaky Caroline any day.

"What happens in the dungeon stays in the dungeon," I remind her.

It might be fun to see how long she can keep this one under wraps before she explodes all over the place with 'OMG I actually got an apology out of Damon the Dickhead.' I give it until tomorrow afternoon. By next Tuesday, it'll be her Facebook status.

Fucking impulse control. I've got to work on that shit.

I hear the door at the top of the stairs open and then Matt's voice, pitched low.

"Caroline?"

"I'm here. What's up?" she says in an artificially cheerful tone. That girl is a worse liar than Elena.

"Is Damon asleep?" he whispers.

"No," Caroline replies, dropping her voice to match his.

"Come upstairs," he urges. "Right now. I just got a call."

"What is it?" she asks, moving again.

"Come upstairs," he says, his voice strained.

"Hey!" I yell, blurring back to the cell door. "You guys are really cute, playing Super Spies, but what the fuck is going on?"

The basement door closes behind Caroline. I strain, but I can't hear their voices beyond. I punch the heavy dungeon door, splinters going deep into my knuckles. I turn and glare into Elena's filmy corpse eyes.

"Fuck!"