Chapter 38

Alone

Author's note: [NSFW – smut warning]

It's pretty much a good portion of this chapter – I'm sure you all know what's coming, and it gets a bit steamy, so if you just want to skip to the main plot, go to the forth partition, where it begins 'Alistair woke'.

Disclaimer – I don't own Dragon Age or any of its characters

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Adeline was sitting by the fire in her room that evening, and she held out a hand, looking at her fingers. Shame I can't use magic outside of my demon form, she thought with a soft snort, but I guess being able to sense it is useful enough. And I do remember a few unique abilities I can still use as an Elf. Hah, now that I think about it, it really does make sense, she smiled slightly. I always wondered why I was so good at convincing people to see things my way. I guess that's one of the effects of Charm, although I'd never want to outright hypnotize someone, she thought with chagrin. No. Convincing them is good enough for me.

Adeline glanced up as she heard a soft knock at her door, getting to her feet and walking lightly over. She opened the door a crack, smiling and letting Alistair in; he was holding a tray with a few different cheeses, a pair of apples, and thin slices of bread. In his other hand, he held a pair of wine glasses, and tucked under his arm was a bottle of Orlesian red. "Raiding the larder?" Adeline teased, joining Alistair by the fire as they sat down. He placed the tray in front of her, smiling slightly as he uncorked the wine, pouring her a glass.

"Maybe. I found some of the good stuff way in the back of the pantry – by the time anyone realizes it's there, the mice will have gotten to it. I can't in good conscience let perfectly good cheese go to waste," he explained matter-of-factly, and Adeline laughed, taking a sip of her wine and watching as he cut small portions of the different cheeses and the apples.

"You know," Adeline said as they ate and drank, leaning against each other and warming themselves by the fire, "I think I've been subtly using my powers all along."

"Really?" Alistair asked, looking thoughtful. As he thought about it more, though, he realized that he could probably pick a few different times where her abilities had stood out. "Like for instance…the time at the tower?" Alistair suggested, and Adeline shrugged.

"Well yes, that, but I mean more subtle. Things like…being able to convince people really easily. Or being particularly sensitive to magic," she replied.

"Ah, right. I did notice you tensing up a few times when we encountered mages. I thought you may be a little sensitive to that sort of thing," Alistair murmured, and he paused for a moment as he took a sip of wine. "Wait…so then maybe that's why…" he trailed off, glancing back at Adeline.

"That's why what?" Adeline asked curiously.

"There was something…strange, at your Joining," Alistair began softly, looking into the fire. "After you drank from the chalice, you looked like you…weren't going to make it," he murmured, his eyes slightly sad at the memory. "You turned white as a sheet, and started bleeding from your eyes and nose," he added, and Adeline stared at him.

"What?" she asked – no one had told her about this. "Why didn't anyone…?"

"We didn't know what was happening. Duncan didn't say anything, but I could tell by the look on his face that he'd never seen something like that before," Alistair continued. "I mean, you turned out fine afterwards, but still…" he shrugged weakly, not sure what to make of it.

"Hmm…" Adeline murmured, placing a hand on her chin. "I do wonder how the taint affects creatures from the Fade. I guess that has something to do with it," she concluded. "Although you'd think I'd be a rage demon for my temper," she added with a laugh, and Alistair chuckled.

As the two continued chatting, moving on to more pleasant topics, Adeline could sense, subtly, that Alistair was becoming nervous; she wondered if it was about the upcoming trip to Haven. "It's getting late, and we should probably turn in," she sighed, stretching and letting out a small yawn.

I…I need to tell her, Alistair thought, his heartbeat picking up as he thought about it more and more. I've been waiting for the perfect time but…it might never happen at this point. As Adeline got to her feet, placing the tray and wine glasses on a side table, Alistair walked over to her, taking a short, nervous breath and watching her as she turned to face him.

"Alright. I guess I really don't know how to ask you this," he began, and Adeline picked up on his nervousness right away, a look of concern on her face.

"Is something wrong? And…are you sweating?" Adeline asked, looking at him carefully.

"No! I mean yes. I mean… I'm a little nervous, sure," Alistair admitted, awkwardly knitting his fingers together. "Not that this is anything bad or frightening or…well, yes…" he trailed off, taking a deep breath. Alright. Try to talk to her without putting your foot in your mouth. Or rather both feet, as it stands, Alistair thought with chagrin, managing to calm himself down enough to speak. He ran a hand through his hair, looking back at her. "Oh, how do I say this? You'd think it would be easier, but every time I'm around you, I feel as if my head's about to explode. I-I can't think straight," he admitted, and Adeline's eyes widened for a moment with surprise.

"Gee, thanks," she snorted, although she was more amused than offended.

"I don't mean it like that. I mean…alright, let me start over," Alistair sighed, closing his eyes for a moment to collect himself. I was fine the other day! Why am I so nervous now? he wondered, swallowing hard and managing to calm down. "Here's the thing: being near you makes me crazy, but I can't imagine being without you. Not ever," Alistair began, looking at Adeline and taking her hands in his. "I don't know how to say this another way. I…want to spend the night with you. Here, in the castle. Maybe this is too fast, I don't know, but…I know what I feel," Alistair murmured.

Adeline felt as if her heart were about to fly out of her chest, and she could feel heat crawling up her throat and over her ears. "Even though I'm not… Even though I'm…?" she trailed off, and Alistair smiled gently at her.

"That doesn't change anything between us," he assured her softly. "I wanted to wait for the perfect time, the perfect place…but when will it be perfect? If things were, we wouldn't even have met," he continued, his fingers tightening on hers for a moment. "We sort of…stumbled into each other, and despite this being the least perfect time, I still found myself falling for you in between all the fighting and everything else." Alistair pressed his forehead against Adeline's, his eyes anxious for a moment. "I really don't want to wait anymore. I've…I've never done this before. You know that. I want it to be with you…while we have the chance. In case…"

Alistair had stopped himself from saying it out loud, but he knew that Adeline caught his meaning. She looked up at him, placing her hands lightly on his chest and feeling his heartbeat, her eyes so bright that they nearly glowed in the dim room. Maybe they were glowing, Alistair thought, and he wrapping his arms around the girl.

"No need to say anything else. I agree," Adeline breathed, standing on her toes and sliding her hands up his chest, wrapping her arms around Alistair's neck and kissing him as he pulled her to him. She let out a soft gasp as he leaned her back against the side table, grabbing her hips and lifting her easily onto it. She moaned into his mouth as he gripped her hindquarters, and Adeline wrapped her legs around his waist, gripping his shoulders tightly as she felt her center pressed against his groin.

Alistair's hands ran down her thighs, sliding back up as he gathered her nightgown under his fingers, slipping it over her head as she loosened her legs and tugged at his own shirt, their mouths parting for only a second as they took their garments off. They gasped for breath for a moment, quivering with excitement, and Alistair grinned, picking her up and carrying Adeline to the bed. She kept her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him as he pulled off the rest of his clothes, and he sat her down on the edge of the mattress.

Adeline took his hands and placed one on either of her hips, hooking his fingers under the sides of her small-clothes, and he gently slid them down her legs, dropping them into the pile of clothes by the bedside. Alistair knelt in front of her, wrapping his arms around Adeline's waist and hugging her tightly as she kissed his hair. He pressed his forehead against her chest, feeling her heart throbbing at a breakneck pace, and he slowly stood, taking her face in his hands and kissing her very gently as the two caught their breath.

"Let's…take it slow," Alistair murmured as he joined her on the bed, and Adeline nodded. They sat down together, wrapped in the other's arms and just…looked at each other for a while, trying to calm their racing hearts. "You…" Alistair's voice lowered, a huskiness entering his tone. "You're so…beautiful…" he breathed, and Adeline smiled as he nervously trailed a hand down her side, as if he were almost afraid to touch her – he wondered how he had been so bold the other night, and had nearly taken her then.

"Don't be shy, ma vhenan – just…follow your instincts," Adeline breathed, tracing out the contours of his chest with light fingers, setting his heart on fire at her touch.

"Ma…vhenan?" Alistair echoed softly, and she smiled as the words left his lips.

"My heart," Adeline whispered, taking one of his hands and placing it over her heart. He smiled slightly as he felt it fluttering under his fingertips, and he gently moved his hand to the left, trailing over her soft skin as the breath hitched in her throat, and her eyes closed in pleasure. Alistair leaned in, placed gentle kisses across her face and cheeks, pausing as his lips lingered by her ear, a sudden thought coming to him. Very gently, he nibbled at her earlobe, and was rewarded by a small, startled gasp, and a sigh of pleasure as he felt Adeline's excitement pressing against his chest.

She ran her hands over him, her nails light on his back, dragging trails of fire where they went as the two were lost in each other. Alistair pulled her into his lap, her knees gripping his sides as she straddled him, and Adeline let out a small hiss as she felt his desire brush against her, the fire in her center flaring and pulsing through her body.

Alistair swallowed as he saw the woman before him, her skin lightly flushed, her red hair burning softly against the darkness like embers, as if illuminated from within. His kisses trailed over her collarbone, and she threw her head back as his lips lingered over her breasts, her body quivering against his as the tension built in her center. "Take me, emma lath…" she gasped, almost begging, and Alistair placed his hands on her hips, his fingers trembling as he guided her onto him, feeling her surround his length; she cried out when she was upon him fully, and a bolt of fear went through him – had he hurt her?

"Adeline," he murmured with concern, seeing pain in her eyes, but she shook her head gently, panting for breath as tears ran down her cheeks.

"My…my maiden-head," Adeline whispered. "It's normal for a woman's first time," she explained. "Don't stop… Maker, don't stop," she begged, keeping a firm grip on Alistair's shoulders as she began to move, rocking slowly back and forth. Alistair saw the flash of desire in her eyes as the pain faded, and he gently kissed her tears away, excitement setting his blood on fire as he held her to him.

"Adeline…" he whispered her name as his fingers tightened on her skin, exploring every inch of her as she moved against him, her legs tightening around his waist. He leaned forward, his lips brushing softly over her chest, lingering on her sensitive places as her breathing picked up. He nipped her skin gently, and she shuddered, shutting her eyes as her breathing quickened.

"Alistair…" she breathed, her fingers tightening on his shoulders as he began moving her hips faster against his, and she let out a soft groan as he gripped her hindquarters. "Alistair…I think…I'm going to…" a shiver went through him as she pushed herself harder onto him – fire tore through Alistair's body as he fell on her, his lips against her throat as his hips thrust against hers again and again, and Adeline gasped out his name as her back arched, and she clenched up around his length. Alistair felt his own release a moment later, and the two lay gasping for breath, staring at one another in the moonlight, their skin flushed and shining with a layer of sweat.

Alistair felt dizzy as waves of cinnamon wafted from Adeline's skin, and he almost laughed when he realized it; the scent that she wore was natural – it was her sweat that smelled like cinnamon. "What is it?" Adeline panted softly, trying to catch her breath as she lay beside him, seeing the amusement in his eyes as he chuckled.

"You…" he laughed, shaking his head. "Your scent…" he couldn't get the words out, and Adeline looked at him in puzzlement, taking in a long breath and smelling the air. She flushed scarlet as she realized what he was talking about, and he grinned – he loved her expressions when she was flustered around him.

"It's a…desire demon thing. It's supposed to be alluring," she mumbled, and his smile softened as he ran his fingers gently over her face.

"I could live a thousand years breathing your scent alone," Alistair murmured, his voice husky, and Adeline shivered at his tone, loving the way his voice changed like that. She let out a soft laugh as Alistair suddenly pulled her against him, checking her over carefully. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked, and Adeline kissed him, shaking her head.

"Never, my love," she replied. "Although…" she added, butting her forehead against his, "you were…more aggressive than I expected," she admitted, and he smirked.

"I followed my instincts," he teased, and she laughed as he nuzzled her cheek, running his hands over her back as he kissed her ear softly, caressing the sensitive skin with his lips.

"Oh…" Adeline sighed as she felt his mouth against her ear. "Careful, Alistair – I might just attack if you keep doing that," she warned, shivering as he continued to move his lips gently over her ear, trailing over the sensitive patch of skin behind it and smiling softly as he felt her quivering with pleasure.

"Would you, now?" he teased, trailing a line of kisses from her ear to her jaw, his hand sliding down her back and resting over her hip.

"Only if you don't take me first," she replied in a coy tone, her eyes flashing again as they darkened with desire.

"Your wish is my command," Alistair breathed, going slower this time, his lips moving down her jaw and over her throat. Adeline moaned as Alistair moved torturously slow, taking his time as he kissed over every inch of her body, feeling fire in his veins at the mewls and sighs that came from her.

oooo

Zevran walked down the dark hallway, his hair still slightly damp, chilling him in the cool air. He had just come back from a swim in the lake – the water had been cold, but refreshing. He had asked some of the women if they wanted to join him for naked cliff-diving; Katja said she couldn't swim, and was deathly afraid of heights, Neria had turned in early for the night, Leliana seemed to consider it for a moment before saying 'only if we tie a rope around your neck first', and Morrigan had simply walked off without a word. Ah, so cold-hearted, these Fereldan women. Harsh like the weather, the Elf thought with amusement.

Zevran paused as he passed by Adeline's room, hearing a faint moan from within. Oh? Is something the matter? he wondered, curiosity piqued. Zevran moved silently to the door, listening as he heard another moan, louder this time, and then a gentle laugh. "Oh, sorry," he suddenly heard Alistair's voice, and Adeline laughed again.

"No, I'm just…ticklish there," she chuckled. "But I…sort of liked it," she added in a very different tone, and Zevran heard her let out a startled gasp, and then another soft laugh. Zevran couldn't help himself – his curiosity always seemed to get the better of him…and he wanted to confirm that the two were doing what he thought they were doing.

He knelt by the keyhole, peeking in and seeing the Grey Wardens entangled on the bed, their skin nearly burning in the pale moonlight as Alistair kissed Adeline's ribs, pinning her hands to the sheets over her head as she laughed, his soft kisses tickling her sides. "Alistair!" she giggled, and the man grinned, taking one of her hands in each of his and twining their fingers together as she wrapped her legs around his waist, his kisses moving to her throat and collarbone.

Zevran withdrew, a small smile on his face, and he crept down the hallway, careful not to make a sound as he returned to his own room. Of course…this will only add to the list of things I can use to torment him, Zevran thought with amusement. Although…it would probably be safer to tease Alistair about this away from Adeline. She just might kill me for that, he thought, trying not to laugh as he imagined the girl's face, caught between a mixture of rage and embarrassment.

As he opened the door to his own room, he raised an eyebrow, finding Neria lying in the bed, rolling over as she heard him come in. "I thought you said you wanted to turn in early for the eve?" Zevran remarked, sitting on the edge of the bed and tugging off his boots – the Dalish Elf usually shared a room with Katja, when they didn't spend the night together. He slid off his shirt, and Neria sat up with the sheets wrapped around her bare shoulders, lightly tracing the tattoos across the assassin's back with delicate fingers.

"I got lonely," she replied coyly as she kissed the back of his neck, and Zevran turned slightly, kissing her as she leaned over his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him and placing her hands on his collarbone as she pressed her soft chest against his back.

"Mmm…perhaps we should do something to remedy that, my dear," Zevran suggested as he undressed, sliding under the covers as Neria wrapped her arms around him.

"You're going to hate me for saying this," Neria began as she lay on his chest, kissing his nose, "but I think I've fallen for you." Zevran felt his heartbeat pick up despite himself, and he smiled gently at the woman, running a hand over her forehead and brushing away a few loose strands of hair.

"I would never hate you, my dear," he replied. Neria smiled back, chuckling as she slowly undid the braids in Zevran's hair, her fingers moving slowly as she plucked at the pale strands. She leaned forward and kissed him again, her lips brushing gently against his. Zevran slid his hands down her back, grinning when he felt her gasp into his mouth as he gripped her hindquarters. His tongue brushed across her lower lip and she opened her mouth, feeling him roll her onto her back as her nails traced over his skin. They were lost in each other, drowning in the passion of their embrace.

oooo

Adeline let out a long breath, smiling at Alistair as he held her, his arms warm around her body as she lay pressed against him. "Hmm. You know…" he began, kissing the girl's forehead, "according to all the sisters at the monastery, I should have been struck by lightning by now."

She laughed softly, running her thumb along his jaw and smiling up at him. Alistair smiled back, loving the musical sound of her laughter. "Really? You'd think it would have happened before the second time," Adeline replied, and he chuckled.

"Maybe we're being spared because we're the last Wardens in Ferelden," he mused, kissing her again, and she pursed her lips, thinking for a moment.

"So they really told you that if you slept with someone without sanction, you'd be struck by lightning?" she asked, a bit of amusement in her tone, and Alistair smirked.

"Yep. Lightning first, then the end of civilization as we know it. I'm a bad, bad man," he answered with a charming smile. "You do realize the rest of our little party here is going to talk, right? They do that," he remarked, and the Elf shrugged.

"First smart comment and I feed them to the darkspawn," she said offhandedly, and Alistair laughed, running a hand lightly along her forehead, tucking hair behind her ear and kissing the small scar across her temple, moving down her cheek and jaw until he reached her mouth.

"See? This is why I love you," he chuckled, and she smiled, closing her eyes as he ran his finger over her ear, tracing out the shape. "So…what now? Where do we go from here?" he asked after a while, and she smiled.

"We stay together, no matter what happens," Adeline replied firmly, and he reflected the smile.

"Right. I can handle that. I hope," he said, and she chuckled softly, kissing his chin. "Have I told you that I love you? I did? Well, it won't kill you to hear it again, will it?" Alistair added, pulling her tighter to him.

"I love you, too," Adeline replied as she nuzzled against his throat, closing her eyes as they drifted off in each other's embrace.

oooo

Alistair woke as he felt the warmth of sunlight on his face and shoulder, the light streaming in through the curtains. He felt something resting lightly over his chest, glancing down to see Adeline's arm draped across him, and he turned slightly, finding her asleep with her head resting on his shoulder, her soft breath warm on his chest. It…wasn't a dream…Alistair thought with a gentle smile, trying not to move around too much; he didn't want to wake Adeline just yet. He watched the Elf in silence; she looked at peace as she slept, and Alistair smiled warmly as he looked at her. Ma vhenan…my heart.

He could feel Adeline's heartbeat quicken against his side, and feel her breathing pick up as she woke, her eyes fluttering open as she blinked in the sunlight. "Mmm…morning," she murmured with a soft sigh, and Alistair smiled, lightly stroking her hair.

"Morning," he replied, feeling her shift into a more comfortable position, and they lay together in silence for a few minutes, basking in the other's warmth. Adeline looked up at Alistair, her fingers moving gently over his chin, playing with his stubble. He took her fingers gently in his and kissed each one, rolling onto his side and pressing his lips into her hair as she sighed with contentment, tangling her legs with his as she nuzzled into his chest. "Someone woke up on the right side of the bed," Alistair chuckled, and Adeline glanced up at him, smiling and kissing his collarbone.

"Every side's the right one when I wake up in your arms," she murmured, and he beamed at her, hugging the girl tighter to him. Adeline let out a long, happy sigh, and Alistair felt warmth in his heart at how relaxed she looked as she cuddled into his side. "Don't ever leave me, alright?" she murmured, and Alistair pressed a soft kiss against her lips.

"I won't – I promise," he replied.

The two sat up slowly, and Alistair glanced down at Adeline's collarbone as he heard a faint jingle – she was putting her necklace back on. Ah, right, he thought, spotting the pair of rings. One was the signet ring of House Aeducan – he remembered from their trip to Orzammar – but the other… Well, he wasn't quite sure what that ring was for. It was a perfect gold band that reflected the sunlight, and Alistair thought that it looked almost like a…

"Ah," Adeline said, following his gaze. She took the pair of rings in her hand, holding them up and letting out a sigh. "I guess…we shouldn't have any more secrets," she added guiltily, and Alistair looked at her oddly. Wait…does that mean… "Wait, wait, let me explain," Adeline said quickly, seeing the sudden look of panic in his eyes. "Sheesh," she snorted, smiling slightly as he relaxed.

"Only…only if you want to," Alistair said with some effort, and she shook her head.

"No. I owe you an explanation," she replied, taking a deep breath. "So the thing is…I was betrothed, at one point. Before I left Denerim," Adeline began, and Alistair refrained from saying anything, although she smiled at the look in his eyes. "I don't seem like the type to get married, right?" she asked, and he nodded awkwardly.

"Seems I can put my foot in my mouth without saying anything at all," he remarked, and Adeline laughed. "You just seem like…I don't know, a free spirit. Like you wouldn't want to be bound like that," he admitted, and she smiled slightly at his words.

"Hah, you don't have to pretty it up, Alistair; it really wasn't easy for my father to find a match for me," Adeline replied, "and I wasn't exactly a willing participant, either," she continued. "Tradition in the Alienage holds that until you're married, you're considered a child, no matter what your age. An Elf's parents or the Hahren – the Elder of the Alienage – arrange a match for them, and then they get married. Simple as that," Adeline explained, and Alistair raised an eyebrow.

"You…um…don't sound too happy about that," he remarked, and she nodded.

"Oh, I was furious. I always knew it was inevitable, but I had hoped I could maybe…I don't know, run away and find the Dalish or something," she murmured. "But my father was getting old, and I couldn't just leave him, so…yeah," Adeline trailed off with a shrug.

"You're…not married, though. I mean, you're wearing your wedding band – or at least I assume it's your wedding band – on a necklace. Did…something happen?" Alistair asked softly, seeing the tired look on her face.

"Vaughan Kendells happened, that's what," she snorted bitterly, shaking her head. "My betrothed's name was Nelaros. He came down from Highever with my cousin's betrothed, Valora – the two of us were supposed to get married on the same day. I only met the man for a few hours before the ceremony – he was…kind to me," Adeline admitted, looking at the ring guiltily. "The Wedding itself never actually happened, though," Adeline added. "It was interrupted a few minutes in when Vaughan came to the Alienage. When he and his friends kidnapped us and took us back to the Arl of Denerim's estate, Nelaros and my cousin Soris were the only ones from the Alienage who tried to rescue us. Nelaros…died protecting me. He bled out right in front of me, and there was nothing I could…" Adeline trailed off, shutting her eyes tightly.

Alistair was quiet, watching her carefully, and he reached out a hand, resting it gently against her forearm. He understood – he remembered seeing what had happened when she had been trapped in the Fade, even if he didn't know what was happening at the time. Adeline took a soft, slow breath, composing herself. "I…after I killed Vaughan, I held off the castle guards as the others escaped. You know the rest of the story," she sighed, rolling the ring gently though her fingers. "Maybe it's simple infatuation…maybe because I owe him my life… Occasionally I think of Nelaros, and I wonder what could have happened if Vaughan hadn't shown up. But…I've come to realize that while maybe we could have made a life together, we didn't. And I've put the past behind me."

Adeline looked up at him with her bright, green eyes, and Alistair moved his hand up to her cheek. She leaned into his touch, her eyes worried. "I'm sorry that I kept this from you for so long. I just wasn't…ready…" she sighed, closing her eyes. "That must sound like a pathetic excuse," she murmured, and Alistair shook his head.

"Not at all – you went through a very traumatic experience. I understand if you didn't feel comfortable talking about it," Alistair replied gently, giving her a small, encouraging smile.

"Thank you, Alistair. You…once said that I was a bright spot in all that's happened to you," Adeline began, shifting slightly and leaning into his embrace, "I think the same. I don't think I could have kept myself together for this long without you. I'm…proud of what you've become; you've grown so much since we first met. And I love you, always," Adeline murmured the last part, and Alistair smiled, wrapping his arms tighter around her and kissing her. He felt a flush of pride go through him at her words, and he embraced her all the tighter, grinning as she laughed and complained good-naturedly that he was crushing her.

"Now," Alistair sighed, shifting slightly as he slid out of bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress, "I think we should get going before I decide to take you back to bed," he grinned, and Adeline laughed, fluttering her eyelashes prettily.

"But would that really be such a bad thing?" she asked, almost innocently, and Alistair felt fire tear through him as she leaned towards him, running her hands over his back. "And I am a desire demon – I know all sorts of things we could try," she added temptingly, her eyes flashing. He knew she would never use Charm on him – he was immune to it anyway – but at the moment, he found that he couldn't have resisted her if he tried. Alistair turned around and pulled Adeline to him, kissing her until they were both dizzy from lack of air, his body locking with hers again as they burned for each other, finding completion in the other's embrace as they melted together.

oooo

After having breakfast in the main hall, the group packed the remainder of their things, bringing them out to the wagon as some servants hitched Dancia to the cart. While the others were distracted –Adeline was asking them for advice as she tried to plan the most efficient rout through the mountains on their way to Haven – Alistair went upstairs and paid Arl Eamon a visit.

He stood by the bedside, looking at the old man sadly. We'll find a way to cure you. I promise, he thought, pausing as he turned to go; Teagan was standing in the doorway, watching him in silence. "Oh. I…didn't see you there," Alistair remarked softly, and Teagan glanced between him and the Arl.

"You know, Eamon never forgave himself for what he did," the Bann began. "Sending you to the monastery," he clarified.

"I…understand that it was a decision not entirely of his own design," Alistair replied carefully; Isolde wasn't in the room, but he couldn't be sure where the Arlessa was. Teagan seemed to notice his wary look, and nodded over his shoulder.

"The Arlessa is sleeping in Connor's room. She is exhausted, both physically and mentally. I know that you cannot forgive her, or Eamon for what they have done, and I will not ask that of you," the Bann murmured. "I only wish to tell you that Eamon never stopped caring about you. When he saw that you refused to see or speak to him at the monastery, he stopped coming because he thought his visits were doing you more harm than good. He has regretted that decision ever since," Teagan explained softly, and Alistair sighed, crossing his arms as he looked back at the Arl.

"I know… He's a good man. You're right that I can't forgive what he's done, and I'm not okay with it…but I know that it's better to move on than to linger on something that can't be changed. I'll see you soon, Bann Teagan," Alistair said politely, brushing past the older man.

"Please, Alistair, Teagan is fine," the man replied, and Alistair glanced back, giving a short nod of acknowledgement. My…how he has grown, Teagan thought as he watched him go, remembering the bright-eyed child that he used to play with out in the courtyard of the castle. No doubt his companion, Adeline, had helped in this respect…but Teagan suspected that the strength had always been there – it just needed to be nurtured and encouraged. The man began to feel, for the first time in a long time, that perhaps everything would be alright.

oooo

The group set out soon after, travelling west of Redcliffe. Alistair and Zevran walked behind the cart, and Alistair noticed the slightly smug look on the Elf's face. Why is he smirking? I'm not going to like this, am I? he thought with dread as Zevran struck up a conversation. "Might I offer you a bit of advice, my good friend Alistair?" the Elf began and Alistair sighed.

"I like my hair the way it is, thank you," the man replied preemptively, and Zevran placed a hand on his chin, looking up at him and contemplating the golden hair.

"Truly? As you wish…though my advice is regarding something else completely," Zevran said with a shrug. A slow, smug look spread over his face, and Alistair watched him warily. "It has to do with your recent…exertions with your fellow Grey Warden that I overheard," he elaborated, and Alistair looked at him oddly.

"My…? Oh," he said, realizing what the assassin meant. He was surprised…but he supposed that he probably should have expected that Zevran of all people would be the first to know. He and Leliana had an uncanny way of sussing out everyone's secrets.

"It did seem as if you just got going when all grew quiet. You are…feeling all right, yes? Perhaps you are tired?" Zevran asked, and Alistair put a hand on his forehead.

"We aren't talking about this, are we? Did I hit my head?" he groaned, checking for a bump somewhere.

"I have some roots from home that you may chew if you need energy. As for volume, perhaps you ought to try arching your–"

"Whoa! Whoa! Awkward!" Alistair cut him off, his voice rising slightly with panic. Maker's breath! He's actually talking about this!

"You Fereldans are so finicky. How will you ever learn how to pleasure each other unless you talk about it?" Zevran replied charmingly, and Alistair covered his ears.

"Not listening! La la la la la!"

oOo

Traveling through the Frostback Mountains was tiring, and sudden storms forced us to shelter in small caves that pocketed the mountainsides. The others seemed to notice that Alistair and I had changed – for one, we were sharing a tent – and I sometimes caught Leliana and Zevran smirking at us and teasing Alistair, although they kept it to a minimum with me; they probably thought that I'd strangle them if they tried anything like that. Which I would.

As we lay together in our bedrolls, huddled tightly for warmth, Alistair asked me one night if I knew much Elvish. "I hear you and Neria speaking it sometimes," he explained, and I nodded.

"I know a few words and phrases that Neria and my mother taught me. Simple things like 'please' and 'thank you'," I replied. "I can't read written Elvish, though; I saw a scroll with it once in a market stall back in Denerim. Or at least the proprietor said it was Elvish. It could have been random scribbles for all I know," I shrugged, glancing up at him as I lay with my head on his arm. "You're curious?" I added, and he smiled slightly.

"A little. When I heard you sing the first time, back in Ostagar…I thought the words were so…beautiful. I can't really describe the feeling," Alistair replied, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Here, then, I'll speak a little for you," I said, kissing him, "ma sa'lath; my one love."

"Ma sa'lath," Alistair repeated, and I smiled.

"Lath means love. So in a phrase like…ma emma lath, it translates to – you are my love," I explained.

"Emma lath…my love," Alistair repeated softly, holding me in his arms as we went to sleep.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Note:

Hey, so…um…sorry that I don't write Zevran and Neria's bits in more detail. I already feel self-conscious about Alistair and Adeline. So my and Adeline's opinions are the same – I don't want to know what they're doing, but they're happy, so that's that.