Chapter 35

Luke was nursing the sense of guilt for lying to Rey like an open wound. He was standing on the auxiliary bridge of a Liberator class ship; and seditious thoughts were whipping his mind.

He needed to helm those disturbances in his brain, but he couldn't hold still. Every time he tried to meditate and tap into the Force, two faces flashed in front of him and merged into one - a child that was lost before it was born. It would have been loved by the mother bathed in light, and the father shrouded in darkness, who knew nothing of its existence. This child would have been so adored, that it could put an end to ancient feud. Even if one spilled blood of the father; blood of the child was sacred.

Ren would have done anything to protect his.

That child was no more, and Luke suffered this oppressing guilt alone. The Concordat caught a signal on Malastare; that poisonous gas manufacturer; one of the mid rim worlds. Hux started drilling for iron ore on Korriban, mainly because of the protection their shields offered. Now, they had to change the formula and use different solutions to arm for the chemical warfare. Luke wasn't an official member of the mission. He went anyway. Kylo Ren would be there; and he had to deal with him once and for all.

Current framework of his thinking justified the act he was about to carry out. He needed this journey to the mid rim world to prepare himself for the task. He would have pondered the will of the Force had she only not burst through those automatic door.

"What are you doing here? This is a classified mission."

"This is a classified execution," Rey told him what he already knew.

"How did you get in?" He was pretty sure the travel log showed only two passengers aboard this ship.

"Is it so surprising, that a scavenger can sneak into the ship? I know every nuke."

There was that word again… Why did she insist to label herself as a scavenger? Must she hurl this in his face as an insult? He never heard her utter a word Jedi with the respect it deserved. Perhaps he respected it, because Master Yoda and Obi-Wan taught him how. He couldn't. He failed another in his training, learning bitter lesson. One grand act in his youth didn't mean he was destined to become a great Master. He didn't kill Vader and brought down the Empire – but that was in another life, another time.

"I felt your turmoil through the Force, Master. I know where you're heading – I know what you're set to do. You mustn't." Her pleading sounded harsh - half order, half remorse.

Luke sighed. "I know you shared a vision with him. Are you really so weak minded to abandon your principles and save a murderer, Rey?"

He almost said 'love' a murderer. It shouldn't surprise him she had been in contact with Ren. Their souls were already connected, so her yearning for him was expected. What Luke couldn't comprehend was her involvement in their mission. "Why are you so adamant on coming with us? You don't want to witness it."

Rey stepped closer to the transparent magnetic field leading out of the auxiliary bridge. Despite its windowless design, the field protected the crew from being sucked into space vacuum. They were standing so close to the stars; she could almost taste the comet.

"Aren't you supposed to be the keeper of peace? So, keep it. Why kill him?" She was done playing nice; begging for Ren's life.

Luke saw her absentmindedly brush past her lower abdomen; reaching for what she didn't have a chance to miss. Another lie piled on top of already endless stack. He didn't tell her for her own good, not to hold on to a trump card – yes, that was the reason which allowed him to sleep.

"I can't keep peace in the Galaxy where he wants to destroy it. No matter how many times we pronounce ourselves leaders, the First Order doesn't acknowledge it. They still stand, controlling several star systems. Kylo Ren is still fighting for them; despite that great love you proclaim the pair of you share. Tell me – why would I wait quietly? He killed Han, he would kill me, and his mother. He might even kill you."

The air around them crackled. Her nails were digging into her fists. If she had known, she would have never sought Luke Skywalker out. She should have trusted her instincts, at those rough-hewn steps of Ach-To temple.

"The myth didn't live up to her expectations."

No, it really didn't. Only now she saw that bringing down evil empires wasn't a theme for ballads about heroes. Real people bled and died; real people weren't infallible legends.

"This is…" She took a deep breath. "This is your family we're talking about. You would take life of your own nephew? Think about what you're doing. Have you ever tried to reason with him, show him mercy? I think you already decided what is right and wrong in your mind, and you will follow it no matter what I say, or if I beg."

He pierced her with his silver eyes. Usually twinkling stars were cold and detached. "Not all of us have the same luck as you. If the beast treated us all like you, we wouldn't be standing here. Don't make me into one to defend him. I need to do what is right for the people, for the Galaxy…"

"Is is the truth – or another lie you're telling me?" She stepped into him.

Luke felt a gust of air shiver up his spine, so vivid he had to double check whether the shields didn't malfunction. No, the barriers held. Panic chilled him to the bone.

"What lie?"

"I don't… I don't know exactly." She sighed. "But I can feel it. Everytime I bring up my past, my parents – you become a mute, you brim with regret and pain. If I mean anything to you, Master, don't go down that path."

"Rey, you mean everything to me. That's why I took it upon myself to kill him. You were never meant to fall in love with him. I thought you would pull him back to the light, not follow him to the darkness."

"I didn't follow him anywhere." She screamed." He's not a monster you make him to be. He-"

"He murdered people in cold blood. He brought down an entire Star Destroyer just to vent his rage!" Luke threw his hands in the air.

"But he also saved a life! He saved a girl...a slave…"

Luke breathed a new life to his tirade. "For the good of the Galaxy…"

"Screw the galaxy! This is about your family – about you and your sister's son! Stop making your weakness into something big! Sparing Ben's life is just as important for you, as you make it to be for the galaxy." She grabbed his arm. "Did you know what Snoke was – back on Rakata? Did you?"

"I don't know what he is – but I had my suspicion he wasn't just a Sith lord."

"Then – you have to believe me. He told me terrible things. If you only knew how your father was born, you would see that no more Skywalker blood must be spilled. I can explain it to you. In that vision-"

He shied away from her. "Not all visions come to pass. Some are fickle, lies coated as truth."

His life was coming to an end; he could feel the physical less, and the Force more, as every Jedi must before that final test. Why would he wither of old age, as only true Masters deserved? Luke wouldn't go in peace; he needed to make sure he didn't leave the Wound in the Force behind.

"I can promise you one thing. I'm not going to the meeting to kill him. That's not my intention, at all. But if he draws first, if he attacks…I am not holding back, Rey. This needs to end. I'm one of the last of my kind. The Church is untrained, Tanakh won't be here long. And you," he lay his hands on her shoulders. "You will never go against him. You will rather join him in darkness than stop it from growing."

He was blaming her for love, the purest emotion she felt and twisting it into something hideous. Rey felt ashamed, and hurt. "Master, if one falls, so does the other. Snoke – that evil spirit, was manipulating you both from the beginning. What does it tell you, when he wants you to face each other? Trust me," her lower lips quivered," can you at least trust me?"

His eyes softened. "I do. That doesn't change the fact that tomorrow, whether I die by the hand of my nephew; or we do nothing, those chemical droids will be released. Millions will be dead, planets purged of life – that is the future for which you're asking me to save him."

She forced his hands off her.

"Don't lump him together with those murderers. He would have left the Order, Master. He didn't want to serve them anymore." She felt compelled to defend Ren."Maybe he still will. You just have to give him a chance to speak; give me the chance to explain to him, before you attack."

He walked closer to that open window. She felt it too – the universe was calling to them; as if they felt the Force pulsating through the very rock and darkness of the wild space. Ren wanted nothing more than absorb all the power of the Force. He slaughtered Jedi, he hunted Sith artifacts – he wanted power. Rey came into his life as a distraction; someone he could use as an apology when his consciousness needed to feel human.

Monster that is loved becomes invincible. Nothing could bring Ren down, once he had her love in his grasp. When split apart, he was vulnerable. She was coming to him now, as a greatest source of resolve he needed to fight, to kill and enslave. Not that she was aware – perhaps Ren wasn't either.

Words failed Luke. How could he make her understand? He lowered his voice, but he used the Force to deliver that clarity Rey needed to see his point.

"When I'm gone – Kylo Ren prevails, more powerful than ever. He will have you by his side. Then, nothing will stop him. He will twist you Rey, you won't see it. You will start excusing his darkest deeds as a necessity, as something done out of love. But to kill for love doesn't lessen the sin. The weight doesn't drop just because he wielded lightsaber with your image in mind."

He was telling the truth. Rey knew it. She was sobbing secretly, choked by that harsh reality Luke just revealed to her. He rocked her in his arms like a babe from the woods, purest of them all. She found it in her heart to love her enemy, the man everyone thought incapable of returning it. Luke didn't doubt Ben's love for her, either. Pity it wasn't enough to change him.

"Look at the Ryoone; it's but a taste of what they'll unleash. We have to stop it."

She pulled away, unable to listen to more of his sanctimonious reasoning.

He needed to believe it so much, he already decided who was and wasn't worthy of salvation. She never walked into anything so hopeless; so completely out of her hands. As long as she drew breath, she was capable of controlling her own fate; fight her own battles. Being reliant on the act of mercy from the both men she loved felt like drowning. Who would show it to the other - the old man, or an angry kid? How could she believe this would end in balance of the Force? If anything, the rift would deepen, the Galaxy would be thrust into chaos and destruction.

Ren's presence nearly knocked her off her feet the moment the ship docked on Malastare. Two Jedi cloaked in dark robes were walking on the barren wasteland, where not a single leaf moved in the dead wind.

"No wind," she muttered.

She outstretched her hand and felt no breeze on her skin; it stood still in the atmosphere as one with the space, where no stars moved. Even on Korriban, the wind always blew. There were no trees to grow, no life to welcome them. Entire planet emitted amethyst hue; the soil colored in the deepest shade of purple. It was breathing, though, churning out the geysers of blue, purple and green gas. She was walking behind Luke; and while she already stroked her lightsaber, he joined his hands under his sleeves.

Their feet were walking on the field of locusts, Rey thought. The crunching sound didn't cease, even when she didn't see any insect anywhere near them. Then, her ankle bore deep into a skull – were these bones? She recoiled. The wasteland was swarming with the metal arms, limbs, and heads of millions of droids. Malastare hosted a battle of the century, during the republic clone wars. Who would have buried these droids and AT&T walkers? They were not rotting; their chrome eyes were staring at them just as they once gazed upon the two armies that met here, on these infertile narrows.

Kylo Ren sensed Skywalker first. Hatred chained him to his old Master, the one with the same weak blood as his. So, he came to die here, on this gas giant. Then, Rey's aura permeated his being; light and divine. She wasn't supposed to be here, so he immediately started thinking up scenarios of getting her away. He breathed in, as he saw a vision of her, walking on the soft, dewy grass, laughing and carrying a child in her arms. The waterfall was roaring in the background, her skin shone with the moisture, caressed by that stream of water. The child with head full of black hair had eyes with specks of green.

"What is this," he gasped for air.

"This is what you destroyed. I'm coming in peace – let me reason with you, Ben." Luke planted that vision into his mind; that torturous would-be fragment of the utmost happiness. He could almost touch it; almost wipe the dew from her skin.

Ren unbuckled his lightsaber. If Luke thought this would make him want to reason, he was wrong.

"You dare showing me this? You took this from me, you coward. The Force let me see that reality – if you only trained her… "

"No. This child died by your hand."

Ren clutched his ears to silence that agonizing voice. Every intake of air hit him in the chest – he heard his own hearbeat drilling in his ears. Then, those roaring vibrations changed and he heard two. Those two heartbeats were his enemy; he wondered what they meant.

"No, no, no." That one syllable had to escape his lips, maybe if he said it hundred times, it wouldn't be true. She would have told him, if she knew she was… She wouldn't have fought him, she wouldn't let herself fall. No.

"This is a trick. Dirty ploy to weaken me."

"It's the truth, Ben." Luke was standing behind his nephew, in a hall larger than entire Star Destroyer. They followed him into the gas refinery, to end what had begun fifteen years ago.

Kylo glanced at Rey.

Her rigid posture was ready for combat, her face edged into a piece of marble, stoic and focused. She didn't hear the mental conversation Luke shared with him. Ren twirled his saber, still but an uncharged piece of metal. Skywalker's robes were brushing her sides – that infuriated him. He didn't know why, but it did. What right did Luke have to be so close to her now, when he had dumped her in the first place? He spent a whole year by her side. Kylo had only few fleeting nights in her arms, only few stolen moments where she whispered his name and together they got lost in each other. Ren kept looking into Rey's eyes, which were stern and pleading at the same time.

"She doesn't know, Ben. If you let it be," Luke pointed at the handle," she doesn't have to. You know what I came here to do. I'm giving you a chance, for her sake. Lower your blade, and leave with us."

Ren was pacing like a wild animal, but keeping most of his restraint to find out more.

"Why? So you can imprison me for life? So your new republic can brand me a murderer and let me rot on Coruscant? Or better yet – execute me? Careful, Skywalker. There are other things she doesn't know."

Rey stood in the background.

If her time on Jakku taught her something, it was not to mingle unless sure of upper hand. She still didn't have it – because she still didn't have all the information. Why stomp and curse, when they were giving it to her willingly? She trusted Ben. He wouldn't do anything rash after they forgave each other. Still, there was never a person who displayed conviction like she did. She was constricting her arm muscles and watching both men like a hawk. Her hand never left the handle of her lightsaber. Was she truly so sure of Ben's loyalty to her, or was she lying to herself just a few more moments, because she still could?

Luke seemed unfazed, but deep down he already knew. Both of them were severing their ties to Rey's heart with long spun lies. "I am asking you one last time. Lower your weapon and come on your own."

Ren snarled and ignited it.

Red fiery column burst form the handle, the crossguard seeped from the side valves. "Do you remember that dream you told me about?" he pointed the tip towards Rey, acknowledging her presence out loud for the first time."The one with the child…it was real." He said, his eyes blazing.

Rey shifted. He was revealing something utterly insane. "I don't know how it could be."

"Oh, yes. You don't know. I bet you spent the longest nights of your life pondering about your parents, your past. Hux showed you some pieces, I added others. But the puzzle was incomplete, wasn't it? It didn't feel right, because you still don't know the most important fact."

He was pacing, and swaying his blade so low on the ground, that the tip was melting the concrete below, creating sharp, claw-like ridges.

Rey glanced at Ren, then Luke, whose head dropped to his chest. "Tell me, then."

"Ever wondered why San Tekka just happened to be on Jakku, huh? Why The First Order sent me there, to retrieve the map? It's because he saved you from the Emperor, your grandfather, and took you to his dear friend; to the one strong with the Force; the great hero of the New Republic. And he didn't want you."

Rey's shaking hands got sweaty, and her throat closed in. "Huh?" Was all she could muster.

"Luke Skywalker," Ren stopped pacing. His eyes were mirroring her own inner struggle. "He could have taken you as a child and trained you. He could have saved you from the misery of scavenging, solitude, he could have brought you to me."

His voice broke, but then he quickly regained his composure. After all that, she would surely not stand by the Jedi's side. Yes, she would see that Skywalker was a traitor and a coward and he deserved to die.

Rey tossed her outer robes on the floor, in desperate need of oxygen. Something human in her broke. Was she supposed to scream at her Master? Was she supposed to cry? What was the normal human reaction to this news? Luke answered first. He pulled her to him and gently raised the hem of her tunic. She was too stunned to process what he was doing.

"Rey, you know how you got that scar. I think deep down, you know even if I did my best to shield you from the truth."

"I… I got it after I fell on Korriban." Her mouth felt like sandpaper.

No.

"You know, deep down – because all mothers know by nature that greatest loss."

"No," she slapped his hand away and gripped her stomach. Her entire body was shaking, her eyes welled up and without blinking, tears streamed down her cheeks. Two hearts were bleeding in that hall, her and Ren's. He felt her desperate need to scream, to cry out in pain – but she didn't.

"He killed you child. I'm so sorry that you have to know this," Luke's own voice cracked. "He fought you. Is this the life you want? Always afraid what might happen, when once again, your hatred overcomes you both?"

She had no idea she was pregnant. And then, she had no idea she wasn't anymore. So, how could that period in between feel so different? She was breaking, trembling, mourning the loss of it all.

Ren wanted to die, right there. He wanted Skywalker to die. For now, he was forced to watch her soft face glisten with tears, her small hands gripping her torso, rocking back and forth. He nearly tossed the lightsaber away and knelt beside her. He would have drank her pain, or drown in it – he didn't care. He couldn't do it because of that fucking coward Skywalker, who used this tragedy as a means to get Rey hate him.

The whole hall was being poisoned by the steaming fumes from the gas turbines. He would have gone to her and let her cry into his arms – later, if he lived long enough.

Rey started to absorb what she heard. They both drew their trump cards and showed them to her. All three of them knew, that whoever side she would take, had already won. Luke so desperately needed her to help the young Force users, to create a new, peaceful galaxy. Ren needed her, because he simply did. One didn't have to question his motives because they coincided with hers. Love didn't need a reason to unite. It tied them both so closely they shared one bloodstream, one soul.

She got up and faced her Master. "He didn't kill my child." Her face hardened. "We did."

Luke blinked, confused. Surely, the only things she loved the most – family – would make her see that Ben was too far gone; that he needed to be controlled.

Rey wiped her face. They both disgusted her. Ren was hoping that she would resent Luke for not raising her, and take his side. And her Master – how could he blame only Ren? It was she who chose to fall, not him. He tried to make her come back; he was begging her to come back on the ground.

Her voice was venomous. "He hurt me and fought me, but in the end, we destroyed what we created – together. It was his anger and my spite."

She had to rise above this. She had to, even if it hurt. This fight wasn't about her and Ren; about a child who never had a chance to cry; about an old Jedi with no sense of purpose. She never saw things more clearly than now. After the shock and pain came peace. Rey took a deep breath. She was basking in the tranquility of those hot geysers, in the colors they radiated. Violet, blue and deep, forest green transitioned from one to another like a majestic rainbow. No more destruction, no more chaos – if she had to die right there to prevent it, so be it.

"There's nothing in the entire galaxy that could force me fight alongside one against the other. You can't extort it out of me." She grabbed her lightsaber."You can make me wish I was dead, that I did it all differently. Your words can make me cry and the truth angry. But I won't!" She yelled, short of breath. "I won't watch you fight each other. I won't let you."

Ren's hand waivered and his sabre slid lower. "He is a disgrace. Rey, you're too good, too trusting. Snoke told me; the Force demands his death. Snoke-"

"Snoke is dead, Ben!" Her scream made him flinch. "He's not the Master you seek. He's been lying to you, manipulating you all those years. Don't do it for me," She came closer, looking at him with blood shot eyes. He drank in the sweet scent of a dying flower, so unbecoming of her pain.

"I know you, please. If not for me, do it for power. If you think that Snoke is the way to get it, you couldn't be more wrong. He created life from the very Force itself; the Chosen One. He needed a body to house his spirit, but it failed and you are next in line. You and Luke are but puppets to him. When one kills the other, you're both gone, bound to serve him either in dead or in life. What becomes of your soul, when his spirit enslaves your body? Don't you see?"

She dared to clutch his robes. She was appealing to Ben, because reasoning with Luke was futile. He followed a code of honor, whilst Ben was led by anger. Both were set to kill each other, but only one knelt at the altar of that raw emotion. She couldn't go against the code chiseled in stone; but anger – anger she could tame, she could try to turn it into something else.

He was looking down at her, soothing her with those dark eyes. She relished in their intensity, in that stare where she once again became the centre of his universe. That look conveyed more than words; he felt her sorrow and loss. He loved that child that never came to be like he loved her. His face paled, as his eyes fluttered from her eyes, to the tip of her nose, down to those swollen lips. He had her captivated in a sublime trance where he needed her skin on his, her breath in his.

"Don't do this to me, please, please." She put every last ounce of energy into feeling his breath on her cheeks, as she raised her head and returned that stare.

"Will this end?" he whispered. "Tell me, will you stop loving me if I fight?"

She raised her chin. "Never."

Words failed her, so she used their Force bond to let him feel what she did. Kylo's face morphed into a mask of astonishment.

Her love wasn't a reward for being on the right side. She would love him blinded by power, or bathed in light. She would love him till her last breath; till the Force ripped the ground below their feet and she would die first. Even then, she would still feel that love which he felt, too. She was showing him all this, and he tasted his own tears. He kissed her, trying to lose himself in the harmony of their connection. He kissed her and she returned it more passionate than ever before. She brought him down, tugging onto his robes and captured his lower lip between hers. She was offering her very life essence to him, if he only took it.

He broke the kiss.

Rey came to her senses from the sweet moment of forgetting about their situation. She stepped back and her hand shot to her mouth. She wondered why Luke didn't take the advantage of the lover's distraction. Now she saw. Ren was already holding Luke in a Force push, choking the life out of him; all while he held her heart in his, while kissing her and making her believe he would follow her path.

The Jedi Master tore himself from Ren's deathtrap, flicked his hand and turned on his lightsaber.

Rey did what she had to. She ignited hers.

A/N I'd like to thank the guests who reviewed but I can't PM them obviously, so I appreciate your comments and I'm happy you like my fic :)