This afternoon was mostly in the Archives, just me, my Mp3 player and the Unlabelled Artifacts: Classes C and D. There's a lot there, but not much of any interest. Reckon that's why they all ended up in the catch-all bin in the first place. Just not interesting enough to be bothered with. Sad really. I've known that feeling before. Before, but not now. Anyway, I'd been down there long enough to be thoroughly bored and ready for a change when I heard a scuffling sound behind me; by now, a very familiar scuffling. I replaced the box I'd just finished cataloging, "Hello, Jgem'a. It's been a while. Everything all right?" In the silence behind me, I could sense the roll of her little blue space hamster eyes. As I turned from what I was doing to face her, she actually stood with paws on hips, tapping her foot, waiting. I told her that yes, I know I need to see her for her to communicate. But really, patience can be a positive trait. She just looked at me… and continued to just look at me. "Sorry." At that she grinned and climbed the shelving to a level where we could see each other clearly. (Should also remark, that hamster can move, fast.) She asked how things were going and I could honestly answer, "Well. Really well."

Jgem'a and I had been chatting for a while, when I started to get the idea that there was something she wanted to say, but wasn't saying. I paused, hoping that the gap would give her the opportunity. It did, 'There's something I need to tell you. You're in danger, and you don't even know it. Ianto, you have to destroy it.' What? Something here in the Class Cs? She seemed to hear a sound in the corridor and tensed, listening. Then I heard the noise just outside the door as well. 'Destroy the artifact, Ianto. Destroy the Foremost before it destroys you.' And with that, Jgem'a was gone in a quick blue flash. I really didn't have time to register her warning before a grating voice and its equally grating owner stood in the doorway, 'Oi, Teaboy. You don't have your comms on again. Fuckin' annoying that your boyfriend up there is boss, 'cause he sent me to tell you he needs coffee.' As I silently agreed, yes it is annoying that he sent you, I answered, "I'm coming." and prayed that he just wouldn't say anything else. And as we walked up to the Hub, I wondered just what the Foremost was, and how it would try to destroy me.

Lattes all around. A latte always makes Jack happy, and making Jack happy always makes me happy. While waiting for the machine to come to pressure, researched the name 'Foremost.' Torchwood doesn't have any records. Nothing to indicate it's anything other than a normal, everyday adjective. Asked Jack as well. He didn't have any ideas, either. He did think it was funny that I was concerned about, 'a warning from a rodent.' Didn't like Jack calling her that, and I let him know it. It wasn't the most sincere Jack has ever been, but he did apologize. So until I can talk to Jgem'a again, I guess I'll just have to be careful.

Figured out that thank you gift for Tosh. I've managed to upgrade those concert tickets she wanted to VIP, full access. Still wondering who she's planning on taking, though. Could she actually have asked Owen out? She hasn't said anything to me about it. I think maybe that knowing for sure about Jack and me gives Tosh renewed hope that one day she and Owen will find something. Together.

Tosh has a way of looking at a problem and seeing solutions where others simply couldn't. This applies equally to horrific alien threats as it does to the most puzzling scientific mysteries. It does not, unfortunately, extend to her personal life. Still no progress in her attempts to attract Owen into more than a professional acquaintanceship. She told me today that she's been trying harder lately, had I noticed anything? Had Owen said anything? I couldn't really think of anything supportive that wouldn't be an outright lie, so I just told her that Owen really didn't say much to me, about anything. She frowned a bit. Sad Toshiko, something I've never liked seeing. But, it gave me an idea.

Talked to Jack and he agreed that it might just be time for a P.I.N.T. (Pub Incursion Night for Torchwood.) I pitched it to him as a team-building exercise. But let's face it, Jack loves an acronym. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could convince him to do just about anything if I could come up with a good enough acronym for it. (Hmmm, Note to self: devise something for: take Ianto on a romantic weekend getaway without mobiles or Rift alerts… TIOARWGWMORA… Well, it sounds Welsh at least. Maybe I could convince Jack.) Anyway, back to the plan for a P.I.N.T. As I see it, with just the four of us right now… if we went out as a group… and Jack and I have one side of a booth… that leaves Owen and Tosh together by default. Team-building social event doubles as double-date. And if Tosh still can't manage to catch Owen, he never need know an attempt was even made. (And if she makes an attempt that fails, he'll probably be too hung-over in the morning to remember anyway.) Sounds like a plan. So does this make me a relationship counselor, or the dating fairy?

Let me just state for the record, I did not have that much to drink last night. I woke-up this morning, in my bed with Jack asleep next to me. Okay, nothing too unusual waking up that way, except that Jack was still fully dressed… and the fact that I have no idea why I can't remember anything. Jack swears he didn't retcon me, but won't say what did happen either. All he'd say before leaving was not to worry, that everything was fine, and that he'd meet me at work. Just how worried should I be?

Parts of it are starting to come back, but fuzzy. I remember Owen choosing the Pub, near his flat, so he would be able to walk (stagger) home if need be. I remember Jack appointing himself designated driver, as he said, 'Because I know how the two of you can get when you go drinking… Ianto and Owen, I'm talking to you here. Ended up living together last time, I understand.' (That's not fair, that only happened once.) Anyway, I remember walking to the pub from the car. Tosh was starting early, taking Owen by the arm under the pretense of slowing his walk, to give Jack and me some space. I remember sitting at a booth, Jack squashed up against me (rather closer than was strictly required, given the size of the seat.) Across from us, Owen and Tosh sat quite far apart. I remember the discussion on who would buy the first round. Owen shouted, 'Alphabetical!' I remember sighing and getting up, only to be pulled back down by Jack who smirked and added, 'By last name.' Owen grunted, then thought a moment before agreeing. Nobody moved. I nudged Jack. He must have thought I was just getting friendly, 'cause he just rubbed my leg under the table. I had whispered in his ear, "Captain Harkness." He smiled and whispered, 'Yes, IantoJones?' Then there was a pause, a quick mental run-through of the alphabet and then, 'It's me, isn't it?' Ah, the astounding mental prowess of our esteemed leader. Well, to be fair, it had been a tiring day… I remember Jack getting up to go for the drinks. I remember him stopping to ask what Tosh and Owen each wanted before heading to the bar. I also remember that the fact that Jack didn't need to ask me what I wanted did not go unnoticed by my team-mates. Tosh should smile like that more often. There's no way Owen could continue to not notice her if she did. Speaking of smiling, I've noticed that Jack seems to spend quite a good deal of time trying to make me smile lately. Somehow, when we're alone together, it seems that's all I want to do.

So okay, I remember Owen buying the next round, I remember everyone joking, everyone laughing. Something Jack said, asking if Tosh would change places with him for a while, caused everyone to stop and stare at him (not least of all, Owen.) Noticing he had everyone's attention, Jack continued, 'Sorry, but I can't help notice the view from where you're sitting…' At this everyone turned and looked pointedly across the table from Tosh… at me. I blushed, Tosh laughed, Owen threatened to be sick, and Jack squeezed my leg again. I remember everyone was getting to the bottom of their glasses, so I stood and asked, "Same again?" Apparently yes. I went to the bar and placed the order. As I waited, I glanced around. Very noisy and very crowded for a Tuesday night. At the far end of the bar I spotted a familiar face. It was the guy from karaoke a while back. The guy who sang to me and was beaten rather harshly by Jack for it. I debated heading over for just a moment before he noticed me and waved. It was going to be a few minutes before the drinks were ready, so I proceeded over to where he was standing. I said hello and apologized for what had happened before. He said it wasn't my fault, that he shouldn't have done that in front of my boyfriend and all, but he just couldn't resist. He went on to say, 'No hard feelings, really. Can I buy you a drink? Brains S.A. right?' I have to admit at first I found it a little creepy that he'd remember what I was drinking that night, weeks ago. Then I thought he'd probably just heard me order, or seen me drinking it earlier. In any case, I told him no, thanks. That I was still with Jack and while I appreciated it, I didn't think it was a good idea. The bartender had placed the tray of drinks on the bar in front of me and as I stood to pay for them, the guy got there first, with an, 'I insist.' I told him again no, thank you, and handed the cash past him to the bartender, who looked between us, uncertain what to do. Finally the bartender took my money. I told him to have one for himself and took the tray.

I remember that when I got back to the table Tosh was sliding closer to Owen. While he wasn't drunk, he didn't seem to mind (point to Tosh.) More banter and more joking, the mood was definitely light. Even since the banning of smoking, a pub still takes on a definite atmosphere as an evening progresses. Eventually the press of the crowd and my own stamina got the better of me and I remember feeling just a little light headed, a little nauseous. I remember heading for the loo. And that's the last thing I can remember 'til I woke-up in bed with a fully clothed Jack at my side.

Got in to work and neither Jack nor Owen would talk about it. Neither of them would say a word about what happened after I went to the loo. When we were alone in the Hub later, Tosh told me. Tosh told me everything. They had been at the table and Jack had started to get worried when I didn't come back right away. After a few more minutes, Jack went looking for me. Apparently they all went looking for me. At that point, bless, Tosh wanted to make it very clear that she waited outside while Jack and Owen checked all the stalls. When they found I wasn't there, Owen noticed a fire exit behind the payphone and cashpoint machine. Apparently Jack's initial assessment of karaoke guy as a 'slimy evil bastard' had been accurate. When they found me in the back alley, Tosh said, two of the guy's friends had me pinned down over a rubbish bin, while he was getting ready to… well… Tosh said the guy was just saying, 'No, you don't understand, I insist.' Anyway… Jack is, and will always remain, my hero.

Apparently Owen had to physically pull Jack off the three of them in the end, telling him that I needed to be taken care of. They brought me home and after an examination I'm sure I'm glad I can't recall, Owen determined that they'd arrived in time to stop me being… violated. The way Tosh told me of this, I can only imagine the phrasing Owen actually used. Okay, it would appear a blood test indicated the presence of GHB. I have to assume he slipped it in my beer as we argued over who was paying. I've seen the stories, of university parties, girls with unattended drinks. But I was careful. What could I have done better, smarter? I feel so stupid. The logical part of my brain tells me this isn't my fault, what almost happened. But another part of me… I can't help but feel ashamed.

Lots of work today. I've managed to keep myself distracted, not thinking about last night, until now. I came to realize that part of me wishes Jack and Owen and Tosh hadn't been there. Not that I wanted to be raped. I just wish they didn't know about it, hadn't been there, hadn't seen… Jack knows I'm not really strong. And that's okay because I know he's strong enough for both of us. And as for the humiliation, even if he hadn't been there, I would have eventually told him about it… probably. Tosh, she's sweet. She feels for me, probably wonders why I didn't fight back, she would have fought back. She's strong too, but in a different way. But still… What it really comes down to is why Owen? Why did Owen have to be there? Why did he have to come out and see, see how pathetic and worthless and week and hopeless I was? Every time he looks at me from now on, I'm going to know exactly what he's thinking… Worthless Teaboy, should have let them have him.

Jack tried to cook dinner for the two of us tonight. It was a gesture on his part. And while I appreciate it, I've tasted his cooking before... As such, it was safer that I took over. He did help, really. Just having him there helped. At dinner neither of us had much to say. Sitting on the couch together after didn't seem to elicit much conversation either. It wasn't uncomfortable, just quiet. Jack simply put his arm around my shoulders and held me to him, tight. After a while I felt him shiver. When I asked him if he was cold, if he wanted a blanket, he didn't answer. When I turned and looked at him, Jack was crying. 'Can you forgive me, Ianto? I didn't protect you… For what almost happened…' I couldn't really grasp it, how could Jack blame himself? I was the one who didn't watch their drink closely enough, the one who'd been stupid, amateurish, careless. Jack continued, 'Then, then I couldn't leave you. Couldn't… Owen…' Owen what? My mind raced, but couldn't complete that thought. Owen what? 'Owen took care of things. Did what I should have…' What things? Jack? 'I should have, but Owen did.' Give me a complete sentence Jack, what did Owen do? Jack just shook his head.

I made a pot of tea and let Jack gather his thoughts and rein in his emotions. All the while I worried just what he was trying to tell me. What had Owen done? Something to me? I've always known that Owen didn't like me and would be glad if I were no longer around, but I couldn't imagine what it was he could have done that had Jack so out of sorts. Two cups of tea and several biscuits later, eventually Jack told me everything. Apparently, once they'd gotten me home, Owen had performed the physical exam and assessed that I had not been… injured. When he did the blood test, Jack said Owen scanned the results and uttered the most violently obscene string of expletives he'd ever heard, and left. It wasn't until the end of the day today that Jack had even found out where, exactly, Owen had gone. Owen had stormed out of my flat and back to the Hub. There he used the CCTV networks to track them down, the three who had attacked me. I always thought that as a doctor, Owen had sworn to do no harm. After he found them he did quite a bit of harm. In fact, he put all three in hospital. I don't understand. Owen can't stand me, why would he do that? When I told Jack that I didn't understand, he just smiled and held me even tighter.

I think it was the nightmare, with the three weevils again. At least that's how it started. Somewhere in the middle it changed, and I wasn't the one doing the hunting. I woke-up screaming in Jack's arms. I wish I could say that the feel of his arms comforted me. Well, it did, but only eventually. At first, however, it felt like arms pinning me against a rubbish skip. I think I hit Jack. I think I hit him a lot. Once I woke-up, calmed down, and realized where I was, he just held me tight. Never did get back to sleep last night, but I didn't mind. Jack and I spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, just listening to each other breathe. Something about the way he held me made me think that he'd never let me go. Well, he did physically let me go, as he's currently in the kitchen, fixing us some tea. But still, there was something about this whole thing that makes me feel so… Well, I haven't quite worked that out yet. It isn't all so bad. Given what happened, what almost happened… As long as I'm not alone, as long as I have Jack here with me… it isn't so bad.

Jack brought the tea and I realized that yes, I had hit him. He looked at my expression with a, 'What?' Then turned and looked at himself in the mirror. He grinned, 'Ouch. Good thing I heal fast. That's a bit more visible than your usual love-bites.' He handed me a mug and I apologized. I touched a bruise on his jaw, already a deep purple-black. Jack and I winced at the same time. Jack took my hand and held it against the mark on his face, 'You fight like a tiger, remind me never to get on your bad side.' I Looked away from Jack and said that I should have been that aggressive, back in that alley. He paused, 'You don't think you fought back?' I didn't answer. We both knew the answer. Jack, however, seemed to have a different opinion, 'Ianto, look at me. Look at me.' Jack wasn't loud, but something in his voice made me obey. 'Ianto, you had three beers a full dose Rohypnol in you… Look at me. When I pulled him off you he was bleeding, and so were both his friends… bleeding a lot. You fought hard, Ianto. None of us could have done any better.' There's always a look, a shadow, deep in his eyes when Jack is saying something simply to make me feel better. The shadow wasn't there.

By the time we had eaten breakfast and I could admit that I was feeling slightly better about everything, Jack's bruises had already started to fade. I was in the shower, head submerged in the spray, when I heard the door open. Jack sneaked in and snuggled against my back. Then, at the top of his lungs screamed, 'Bloody Hell! That's HOT!' I thought that was the idea of a nice hot shower. 'Not this hot! This is enough to cook you. And while you're always good enough to eat, I prefer my Ianto raw… Ianto sushi… Ianto tar tare.' It wasn't really that hot, but I let him turn it down a bit. Jack resumed his snuggling position, 'Thanks. Guess I'd just gotten used to a lot of cold showers…' I turned to face him. Hmmm, think you can get used to hot again? Jack grabbed the soap from me, started lathering it in his hands with that endearingly lecherous glint in his eye, 'I'm thinking yeah.'